A/N. Daylight Savings Time is the worst idea ever. Seriously. Whoever came up with it sure didn't consider insomniacs like me. Four hours of sleep. Give me more caffeine please. Thank you. Anyway, thanks to those who reviewed chapter one! This is where things get angsty because if I hold off on the angst for too long, things get really bad. -evil laugh- I don't own anything.
A shrill beeping sound woke James up early the next morning. He groaned and covered his head with his pillow, trying to shut out the noise and go back to sleep. He didn't know what time it was but it was still a little dark outside so that meant it was way too early to be getting up.
"Sorry," Logan mumbled sleepily. He reached over James and struggled to hit the alarm off and only succeeded in knocking it off the night stand. "Sorry," He said again after James jumped at the loud crash.
Despite the fact that he was still half asleep, James smiled and turned to face him. "You're such a klutz sometimes." He whispered fondly. "What time is it anyway?"
"Only 5:30." Logan whispered back, leaning down to drop a kiss on James' forehead. "I have to head into the hospital now. Go back to sleep."
Obediently, James closed his eyes but as Logan got up from the bed, James reached out and grasped onto his wrist, pulling him back down close to him. "You know, I am so proud of you for being a doctor just like you always dreamed of. But I hate when you have to leave. I miss you so much."
"I miss you too." Logan said softly. "But I'll be home later today, okay?" He kissed James again and then gently freed his wrist. "I love you."
"I love you too." James reluctantly let go of Logan and watched him leave the room. He sighed and turned over, shutting his eyes to go back to sleep. But he didn't drop off right away. Instead he listened to the sound of Logan walking quietly around the house and he prepared to leave. When the front door shut and James heard the car pull out of the driveway, he reached out and pulled Logan's pillow to him, drifting off into a peaceful sleep, the scent of Logan calming him.
Logan arrived at the hospital at 6:30, a full half an hour before his shift actually started. He greeted Debbie, the morning receptionist and headed into his office to prepare for the day. The room was small but Logan was neat so he managed to make it work perfectly for everything he had.
He sat down at his desk and began sifting through the pile of paperwork that had magically appeared overnight. He sighed, thinking of how he loved his job but hated all the paperwork involved. "I need a secretary." He said to himself, briefly considering asking James. "He's too disorganized." He corrected himself right away with a small laugh. "I'd end up with even more work."
As he bent over his work, his eyes strayed to a picture frame that sat on his desk. James, Kendall, and Carlos. He couldn't ask for three better people in his life. Especially James. They had all supported him and his dream of being a doctor for as long as he could remember. Logan wasn't completely sure that he would have actually succeeded if they hadn't been there for him every single step of the way.
The thought of James and his best friends made Logan smile and he temporarily forgot all about the mountain of paperwork sitting in front of him. He couldn't wait to get back home to James that afternoon. He couldn't wait for Kendall and Carlos to come over in the evening. It had been far too long since they had all been together and it gave him something to look forward to and get through the day.
A knock at the open door of his office jolted Logan out of his thoughts and he looked up, slightly embarrassed to be caught day dreaming. "Hey, Steve." He greeted his colleague. "Got more paperwork for me?"
"Right!" Steven said with a cheerful nod. "Because you're my favorite fellow doctor in this hospital."
Logan rolled his eyes. "You know some colleagues bring each other coffee this early in the morning."
"Where's my coffee then?" Steven said without missing a beat. "Anyway, you know that you love paperwork. It's your favorite thing in the world next to James."
A blush heated up Logan's face and he pretended to study the forms Steve had brought him. "Yeah, sure." He said vaguely. One particular name stood out to him and he sighed, laying the page down in front of him.
"What's up?" Steve asked, concerned by the sudden change in his friend's demeanor. He looked over Logan's shoulder and then nodded in understanding. "Ah, Lucy Phelps. Wasn't she-"
"The patient that I lost yesterday." Logan finished. "Yes."
"Logan, you know that you can't save everyone right?" Steve pointed out. "No one can. You could be the greatest doctor in the world and there will always be the people that you can't do anything to help. Don't be so hard on yourself."
A small smile replaced the heavy frown on Logan's face. "James said almost the exact same thing to me last night." He said quietly. "And I knew that both of you are right. It's just. . . I felt like I really should have been able to help her. Now her husband doesn't have his wife and her kids don't have their mother. I guess it just makes me think of. . . of losing James and how much that would hurt."
Steve shook his head. "You're way too serious, Logan." He said firmly. "You may have lost that woman yesterday but today is different."
"You remind me of Kendall." Logan said with a laugh. "He's always giving us pep talks."
"Yeah, well good for him. You need them." Steve slapped Logan's shoulder and then turned to leave. "I gotta run but I'll see you around."
"Thanks, Steve." Logan called after him. Alone again, he fell to studying the paperwork before his day really began. Steve was right. So was James. He had to stop getting so down on himself when things didn't go as planned. He couldn't be thinking about Lucy Phelps today. He had to focus on the patients that came into him. There was nothing he could do for Lucy but he could help others.
So he did. He finished a few stacks of paperwork before he was called down to the ER. He gave thirteen stitches to a little girl who had fallen off her bike and sang softly to her the entire time to distract her from what he was doing. He diagnosed a little boy with a case of the chicken pox and then thoroughly disinfected himself of the extremely contagious germs. He remembered that the good things about being a doctor outweighed the bad things.
It was his lunch break then and Logan sat in the hospital cafeteria with Steve. He picked at the unappetizing chicken sandwich in front of him and sighed. "I knew I should have brought my own lunch." He muttered quietly to Steve. "You'd think I'd learn after the mac and cheese here gave me food poisoning."
Steve opened his mouth to reply but a strange noise temporarily paralyzed his vocal cords. He frowned and cocked his head to the side, looking intently at Logan who had frozen as well. "Did you hear that?" He asked quietly.
The small cafeteria had gone completely silent. Logan merely nodded and held a finger to his lips. In the distance, he could make out startled screams and he tensed slightly before standing up and hurrying over to the door. "I think. . . I think someone out there has a gun." He had heard gunshots before. On TV. But never in real life. Still. Somehow he knew.
"Are. . . are you sure?" A young nurse, Logan couldn't remember her name, walked over to join him. Her face was pale with fear.
Logan nodded and started to say something else but a second gun shot interrupted him and he turned around. "Stay here and call the police." He told everyone in the room.
"Wait, Logan!" Steve jumped up to follow his friend. "Logan, you don't know what's going there. You can't just-"
"Yes I can." Logan interrupted. "Stay here." He hurried out of the room, ignoring Steve and a few other doctors who had followed him anyway. The gunshots had come from the west side of the hospital and even now he could hear more panicked screams. He broke into a run until he was nearly knocked aside by Debbie. "Debbie, what-"
"It's Mr. Phelps." The receptionist gasped out. "The man who's wife died here yesterday. He's looking for you and everyone else who was with you when she died. Logan, you're not safe."
Logan brushed her gently aside. "No one is safe." He told her. "Steve, stay here and make sure he doesn't try to get to the patients. Keep everyone as safe as possible."
"Logan, don't be stupid." Steve snapped. "The guy wants to kill you and you're running right to him?"
"Yeah. Because if I don't do something then a lot of innocent people are going to die."
"You're innocent, Logan. It wasn't your fault that she died. What about. . . What about James?"
Logan hesitated for a second and then shook his head. "Stay here." He whispered, blinking back tears. "Please." Without waiting for a reply, he pushed his friend aside, hoping that he might somehow see him again. And Kendall. And Carlos. And James.
As he followed the screams Logan thought of how he had told James about his lost patient only the night before. It seemed like such long time ago but it hadn't even been a full twenty-four hours. Who knew that it could have resulted in something so disastrous? Logan knew he couldn't hide from what was definitely a mad man with a gun. He had to be stop him. Or die trying.
Then he was there. Logan saw him. He forgot his first name and said the first thing that came to his mind. "Mr. Phelps, please stop."
Cold blue eyes stared back at him. A spark of recognition transformed to pure hate. "You. You're the one who let her die. My wife. She's dead because of you."
Logan held up both hands in a pointless attempt to stop the older man's advances. "Sir," He urged gently. "Don't do this. Please don't hurt any more innocent people. I'm sorry about your wife, I truly am. I. . . We did our best. But-"
"Shut up!" The man growled. "Just shut up. I don't want to hear any of your excuses." He raised the gun and fired.
The impact of the bullet sent Logan straight to the ground. He staggered and fell, smacking the back of his head on the floor and for a moment he saw stars. Then pain flooded through him, the majority of it on the left side of his chest. Instinctively, as he began to black out, his hand flew to the bullet wound in a desperate attempt to slow the blood flow. It was useless. He was dying.
The ceiling grew dimmer as Logan struggled to remain conscious. He heard shouting and another gun shot. He wanted to get up and do something. To help someone. But this time things were different. This time he needed help.
Logan gasped for air and choked. He felt a trickle of blood leave his mouth and run down the side of his face. He no longer felt any pain. He felt numb, like he was floating in mid-air. Everything was muffled and dark. He clung to his fading life but he knew it was only a matter of time. He let his eyes drift shut, his mind holding onto one last thought:
James.
A/N. Okay, I'm extremely unhappy with the way this turned out. I'm sorry. I'm already sleep deprived and stupid DST. Blah. But Logan is dying which is cool anyway. Review?