A/N. So sorry for the long wait! I didn't mean to leave you hanging for quite so long. Anyway, everyone go to iTunes right now and buy Boyce Avenue's cover of 'Perfect' because all the proceeds for the rest of March are going to Japan. -heart- I don't own anything!

James hated not having Logan with him but the mornings were the worst. It seemed like a bad way to start the day. After trying and failing to go back to sleep for nearly half an hour, James gave up. Sighing, he got out of the bed and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Dressed and with little appetite, James wandered into the living room and sat down at the piano he and Logan had bought a few months ago. His fingers brushed over the smooth black and white keys before he settled into an absentminded playing of whatever came to his mind. His thoughts were scattered and elsewhere other than where his body was and he lost track of how much time had passed.

The piano was his favorite instrument. James felt that it had more emotion that the guitar or drums. It could turn a hideous pop song into a beautiful ballad. He had been playing the piano since he was six and it had almost always helped clear his thoughts from whatever was troubling him. But it was different without Logan. Everything was different without Logan.

James wasn't completely dependent on Logan but he loved him enough that it hurt to let him go for the hours he was at work. He loved Kendall and Carlos but the moments he treasured most were the ones when he had Logan all to himself. He loved holding him in his arms because of how perfectly his smaller body fit in his arms. He loved playing the piano for Logan and singing to him and having Logan join him, their voices mixing together in a sweet and beautiful melody.

The ringing of his cell phone jolted James out of his thoughts and he glanced at the mobile device that sat in front of him. His heart fell slightly when he didn't see Logan's number on the screen but he was quick to pick it up just the same. "Hey, Carlos." He greeted in what he hoped sounded like a cheerful tone.

Carlos chuckled. "Logan's gone isn't he?"

"How can you tell?" James asked in confusion.

Carlos laughed again and James could even hear Kendall laughing in the background. "James," Carlos said patiently. "Every time Logan isn't with you, you sound like someone just. . . kicked your puppy or gave you a horrible hair cut."

Involuntarily, James' hand flew to the brunette hair to make sure it was still all there. Then he joined his friends in laughing at himself. "Yeah, I guess." He said easily. "Sorry to be so obvious about it."

"Hey, man I can't really blame you." Carlos told him comfortingly. "Anyway, I was just calling to see what time you and Logan wanted us to come over? Both of us forgot."

James rolled his eyes and shook his head fondly. "What made you forget this time?" He teased. "A little busy over there?"

"Shut up." James could practically hear Kendall blushing as he took the phone from Carlos. "What time?"

Graciously deciding to drop the matter so that he and Logan could pick it back up later that night, James stood up and walked to the kitchen to look at the calender. Logan always had everything planned out there. "5:30." He told his friend. "See you then?"

"Yup. See ya, James." Kendall returned the farewell and then handed the phone back to Carlos so he could say goodbye too.

James shut his phone and slid it into his pocket. He glanced out the window. It was a beautiful day to go for a walk and he might as well pass the time since it was still only 11:30 in the morning. He flung a light jacket over his shoulders just in case and then stepped outside.

He headed straight over to the local park where there was an easy hiking trail. It was early fall and the leaves on the trees had just started to change brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow. Eventually, they would weaken their hold on the branches and fall to the ground, turning a dead brown color, but for the time being, they were beautiful. James whistled quietly to himself as he walked along the dirt path. He was alone in the park, most likely because all the kids were in school and all the adults were at work.

His thoughts drifted to his earlier conversation with Kendall and Carlos. Did he really sound that gloomy when Logan wasn't around? A blush heated up his cheeks and James ducked his head even though there was no one around to see him. He couldn't help himself, really. Everything about Logan made James miss him when he was gone. James was just glad that Logan was only working until the early afternoon today. He'd be home soon.

James glanced at his watch and was surprised to see how much later it was. He had been out for nearly an hour. He decided to head back home and relax until Logan came home and they had to get ready for Kendall and Carlos. As he emerged from the shadow of the trees, James heard the wail of sirens. He glanced up curiously just in time to catch sight of several police cars as they sped past. "Must be some accident." He murmured quietly to himself.

The walk home was uneventful but as soon as James walked through the front door, the home phone rang. He shrugged off his jacket and left it hanging over a chair as he hurried to answer the phone. "Hello?"

"James?"

It was Kendall again, only this time he sounded different. Panicked and afraid. Not like Kendall normally sounded. Concerned, he frowned. "Hey, Kendall. Is everything-"

"James, we tried calling your cell phone. Where's Logan? Is he okay?"

His cell phone. It was still in his pocket but he hadn't heard it ring all afternoon so the battery must have died. But that wasn't important now. An uneasy feeling came over James and he shook his head before he realized Kendall wasn't there to see him. "He's. . . he's at work." He whispered. "What are you talking about, Kendall?"

"James," Kendall was silent except for the sound of his harsh, uneven breathing.

"What's wrong?" Fear made it difficult for James to speak or even think very well. He sank down into the nearest kitchen chair and clutched the phone closer to his ear with a grip so tight that his knuckles had turned white.

Then he heard something he thought he would never hear. Kendall was crying. The sound was so soft that it was barely noticeable but it was real. "Turn. . . turn on the TV, James."

At first James wasn't sure he could move from the kitchen to the other room where the TV was but he finally stumbled to his feet and walked on shaking legs to collapse in the middle of the floor with the remote in his free hand. "Which channel?" He asked as he turned to the TV on. He didn't need Kendall to answer him though because the first thing he saw was breaking news footage of. . . of the hospital Logan worked at.

Suddenly, it was extremely difficult to breathe naturally because fear was suffocating him. James stared at the new reporter as she went on and on about some guy sneaking into the building with a gun and going absolutely nuts, shooting people, shooting doctors.

"I need to call him" James told Kendall in a daze. He heard his friend protest but he hung up anyway and then dialed Logan's cell phone number with shaking fingers. It rang once, twice, three times, four times. It rang a fifth time and then Logan's voice mail picked up and told James to leave a message. "Logan," He choked out in a breathless voice as the first tears began to slid down his pale cheeks. "Call me. Please call me as soon as you get this message. Please. I. . . I need you."

But he refused to believe the obvious so James quickly dialed the number for Logan's office at the hospital. One ring. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Voice mail. James left the same frantic and strained message and then dropped the phone. As soon as it hit the floor, it rang again and he snatched it up, pressing the Talk button before he even looked at the number. "Logan?" Please, please, please.

"James, stay there okay? Carlos and I are leaving and we're coming to pick you up. Don't drive right now okay?" Kendall's voice was remarkably calm and soothing despite his obvious fear. "Promise me, James." He pleaded. "Just promise me that you'll wait for us."

As much as James wanted, needed, to get to Logan as quickly as possible, he knew Kendall was right. He was in no condition to drive. "Okay." He said quietly in a voice that was broken. "Hurry."

They did hurry. Kendall and Carlos came bursting through the front door not even ten minutes after the last phone call. They were at James' side in an instant, helping him back up to his feet and walking with him back out the front door. "Have you heard?" Carlos couldn't help but ask hopefully.

But James only shook his head wordlessly as he climbed in Carlos' waiting car. "Nothing." He said, staring out the window. "Absolutely nothing. When. . . when did this even happen?"

"We were watching a hockey game," Kendall began in a tense voice. "And it got interrupted for. . . for you know. . . breaking news. I guess it happened a little after 12:00." He glanced over at Carlos, who nodded. "We tried calling your cell phone but you didn't answer. Then we called your home phone and. . . and you answered."

The remainder of the ride was silent, each of them lost in their thoughts. Their fear increased when they finally arrived at the hospital to see that it was surrounded by police cars and even the FBI. "How bad is it?" Carlos murmured softly as his dark eyes scanned the front lawn, searching for one person in particular.

"Excuse me," A uniformed man stopped them. "You can't come any closer. We brought down one shooter but we have to make sure that he was working alone."

"But Logan," James protested weakly, allowing himself to be led away by Carlos and Kendall. He sank down on the curb and dropped his head into his hands. "I can't lose him." He told his friends, desperately. "I just can't. I need him."

"I know." Kendall said, laying an arm around James' shoulders and pulling him close. "We all do."

Helpless to do anything else, they waited in silence. Just when James felt he would go insane, he heard a familiar voice calling his name. He looked up quickly and his tired eyes located Steve, one of Logan's fellow doctors and friends, in the hospital. He shook of Kendall's arm and shot to his feet. "Where is he?" He begged.

"James," Steve's face was white as he approached the other three. "I'm sorry, James. I tried to stop him but he said he had to go and-"

"He got shot didn't he." James said, feeling his heart sink. His words were a statement and not a question but all the same, tears crowded his eyes when he saw Steve nod very reluctantly. "Is he-"

"He's in surgery," Steven told them all as he took James by the elbow. "Come on. You can get in if you're with me. The. . . shooter. . . he was alone but they just want to make sure. Anyway, come on."

The hospital was strangely empty except for a number of policemen and members of the FBI prowling the hallways. As they walked past some of the rooms, James took note of the expressions of terror on the patients' faces. "Steve," He said, still in a daze. "How bad was it?"

"I'm not really sure. Six or seven? All doctors. No one is dead. . ."

Yet. "James finished for him silently. "Why?"

"His wife was one of Logan's patients yesterday." Steve answered with a sigh. "She died and he. . He came in here today and just. . . he just lost it." He stopped by a small group of empty chairs and gestured towards them. "Wait here." He instructed. "I'll go see if I can find anything else out."

James and Kendall and Carlos all sank obediently into the chairs and watched as Steve left them in search of information concerning Logan. James clasped his fingers tightly together and stared hard at his shoes. "Logan told me about that patient." He whispered to Kendall and Carlos. "He was so upset. . . he said he should have been able to save her." He brought his head up to stare at his friends. "It wasn't his fault that she died. I told him that he can't save every patient. Now. . ."

Carlos laid a gentle hand on James' shoulder. "He'll be okay, James." He whispered unconvincingly. "He's strong."

"He has to be okay." James said quietly. "I don't think I can live without him." He felt Carlos' hand on his shoulder tighten reflexively and he nodded. "I know," He said. "I know I have you two. It's just-" He cut himself off with a deep, shaky sigh. "He can't die." He whispered fiercely. "He can't."

After what seemed like days instead of a single hour the sound of footsteps brought James out his silent reasoning of why Logan couldn't die. He looked up with Kendall and Carlos to see Steve walking towards them with a blank expression on his face. He didn't bother to stand, knowing that his legs weren't going to be strong enough to support him. "Well?" He asked, not knowing what else to say.

A/N. Another cliffhanger -slapped- I'll try to update soon. In the meantime buy Boyce Avenue's cover of 'Perfect'. May you all be blessed with Klainebows and Jaganbows lol. Review?