Chapter 13: Back to the Cabins

Leshawna was pacing back and forth in front of a cabin. She was dressed in bulky armor. She stopped, took a breath and asked, "Have you seen any changes yet?"

"No," a voice responded. It was Eva. "But you never know what could happen."

"Eva," Leshawna said, "Could you go scout?"

"Of course," Eva said. "Those enemy soldiers won't know what hit 'em when I smack 'em down. And my new friend will make sure of it."

She mounted a flying dragon, carrying an axe in her hand. She flew to the east side, where she spotted some soldiers. "Uh-oh. Chris's army."

"Well, would you look what we have here, boss?" a random soldier asked the man he was standing next to. "A woman who thinks she's a man."

"CHAUVINIST PIG!" Eva yelled. She then, with a single swing of her axe, felled the soldier.

"Uh-oh," another soldier shouted. "You deal with her, boss."

"But that's so hard," he whined. "Man… I wish I could go back to cleaning. At least then no one noticed that I never did my job."

Courtney's Resistance met with Leshawna by the cabins. "Hey, is that...?" Courtney asked. "Leshawna! Hey, Leshawna!"

"Courtney?" Leshawna asked. "Wow, the whole gang's here! Listen, guys, this area is safe for now, but I just sent Eva over to scout and I thought I heard a man screaming bloody murder so I'm pretty sure she's run into trouble. We should help her out."

"Can't Eva handle the entire army herself?" Courtney asked. "I mean, she's really strong."

"But her weapon is not indestructible, and even she would succumb eventually to an army ganging up on her," Leshawna said.

"Very well," Courtney said, "We'll fight through this mess and then meet with Eva." Leshawna stood by the others. This time, only twelve of them could come out on the battlefield. Alejandro, who had been supremely outclassed, stayed behind. Katie and Sadie also did, because the area they were fighting was fairly small.

Before heading east, Harold briefly stopped to talk to Leshawna. "Leshawna!" he yelled excitedly.

"Harold!" she responded in kind, "How are you babe?"

"Well, I was afraid," Harold replied honestly, "But now that you're here, I know that we'll be unbeatable!"

"Oh, honey, you flatter me too much," Leshawna answered.

"I don't think so," Harold said happily.

"It's true," Leshawna responded humbly.

Cody, Trent, and Gwen tried to fight against a large group of fighters. They continually attacked Trent, because he was the slowest of the three—although he was able to predict that they would attack them and managed to get preemptive strikes—and Gwen was standing behind. Cody decided to help Trent by finishing off a couple of them for him.

Courtney, Duncan, and DJ had another agenda, as they tried to rid the battlefield of three mages who kept attacking Leshawna from far away. Thankfully, Bridgette was nearby to heal her, and so she didn't die. However, it was annoying because she could not use her staff on anyone else who needed it during this time.

Geoff, Harold, and Bridgette stayed behind to help Leshawna, because although she was very strong, her armor was heavy enough that she was significantly slower than the enemies who attacked her. While most of the swordfighters and archers were too weak to do significant damage to her, or even often pierce her armor, they were a bit of a nuisance. Geoff and Harold helped her by finishing several of them off.

Noah, Tyler, and Sierra basically just stood in the center of the action, taking on many of the enemies that came their way, when Tyler started to approach Eva. Noah and Sierra stood behind to take care of wave after wave of borderline suicidal enemy soldiers. Tyler eventually reached Eva, who seemed to be standing still, and only killing the enemies who (stupidly) approached her. He started a conversation, "Hey, it's Eva!"

"What do you want, Tyler?" Eva asked.

Tyler sheepishly responded, "I just…I just thought you might want to join us."

"Do you have hiring powers?" Eva asked suspiciously.

"Well, not officially, no," Tyler admitted.

"I would like to speak to your boss," Eva demanded.

"Right away, ma'am," Tyler responded and then, sadly headed down to where Noah and Sierra were standing, not only sad because he could not get Eva to join but also because Noah and Sierra had taken care of the majority of the enemies around leaving none for him. Courtney's small group headed north, and Courtney was able to meet with Eva, although Duncan had to clear out an archer who was blocking the path first.

Courtney approached Eva. "You wanted to speak to me?" she asked.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Eva said, "You're the boss?"

"I am," Courtney responded proudly.

"Self-elected, I'm sure," Eva said teasingly.

"Actually," Courtney corrected smugly, "Alejandro appointed me…"

"Alejandro?" Eva asked, "Well that would explain the poor decision."

"Eva, what is your problem?" Courtney asked.

"Oh, well I just assumed that the boss would be someone cool," Eva said, "I guess I assumed wrong."

Courtney was exasperated. She said, "Okay, someone 'cool' can talk to you if that makes you happier."

"Believe me, it will," Eva said.

Noah and Gwen both attempted to reach Eva, with the knowledge that Eva found them "cool". Gwen beat Noah there and talked to Eva. "I can understand your aversion," she said, which caused Eva to turn around.

"Hi, Gwen," she said.

"Nice ride," Gwen complimented, "You get him yourself?"

"Well, he's been in my family for generations," Eva said.

"Anyway," Gwen offered, "Do you want to join our resistance?"

"Normally, I couldn't say no to you, Gwen," Eva responded, "But you see, the leader is Courtney after all, and everyone who has been on a team with her knows she is absolutely insufferable."

"Yeah, I understand," Gwen said. "We'll ask after the battle."

"Okay," Eva agreed. She still continued to sit, while Courtney's resistance piled on the head of the enemy army.

Courtney was the first to attack him. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Uh… my job," he answered, "What are you doing?"

"Leading my resistance to victory," Courtney responded.

"Good luck," the leader said. Courtney managed to hit him, but not very hard. He also hit her with his javelin and almost killed her. Duncan picked her up and carried her over his shoulder.

Harold next walked up to attack him. The lazy man shouted, "Squealer!"

"Well you guys talk a big game about how I'm 'ruining' these secrets, but Chris told you of all people?" Harold asked.

"Yes," he responded, unaware of the insult.

"I can't be the only one who finds it a bit odd," Harold said. Harold, unlike Courtney, managed to dodge the javelin, but he didn't do a whole lot of damage to him either.

Noah decided to attack him next, and he did not have enough power to kill him, but was still more powerful than Courtney and Harold. The lazy handyman said, "I'm doing my job, I swear." Noah was put in the same position that Courtney was moments ago, so Tyler picked him up as Duncan did with Courtney.

The handyman decided to attack Duncan, because unlike the three who had previously attacked him, he was not able to counter the move. "You missed a spot," Duncan said.

"I did? Well, that's going to be the only spot I miss today," he responded, "And by that I mean, I'll get you!"

"Yeah. I know," Duncan answered, "I'm not stupid. Unlike you." Duncan was slowed considerably by carrying Courtney, but not so much that he couldn't dodge the javelin.

"Only fighting defensively is getting far too dull," Eva said, "I think I'll go help out with the fight." She flew at the lazy handyman, carrying her deadly axe.

"No please," he said, "Have mercy. I be just a humble handyman!"

"Nice try," Eva said, "Your accent won't fool anyone; we all know you're from Saskatchewan and have a high position in Chris's army."

"Very good," he responded, "Except for one thing."

"What?" Eva asked.

"I'm from Manitoba," he responded.

"Well then that means I have to go easy on you right?" Eva asked, "Didn't think so." She would have landed the final blow if she had aimed it just so. She didn't do it quite right, but she still hit him well enough to damage him.

Leshawna decided to try to get the final blow. It would require her to hit with precision, with her own javelin. She had a small chance of doing so. She decided to try negotiation first. "Would you mind letting us pass?" she asked.

"I actually would," he responded.

"Why?" Leshawna asked.

"Because you suck," was his reply.

"I'm not the one stuck a janitor," she responded.

"Okay, that was fair critique," he said, "But you're still going down!" She hit him with her javelin one time, and that caused him to fall. "Well at least I don't have to work anymore," he said as he fell.

Only one swordfighter remained, standing right next to Sierra. Sierra burned him up, and the area was cleared.

"Are you all right?" Leshawna asked.

"Of course," Courtney answered, "We're Courtney's Resistance. We've been doing this for quite some time.

"We're all right too," Leshawna said. "We're the Ladies of War."

"Oh, you are?" Courtney asked, "I was wondering about that. Well, I'm glad to have you allied with me, Leshawna."

"Where is Eva?" Leshawna asked.

"Looking for someone?" Gwen asked, smiling.

"Courtney, I…" Eva began, "I'm sorry for being so rude to you earlier. Even if Gwen would defend me being hostile towards you. Now, I want to be part of your party. But I'll understand completely if you don't want me."

"No, Eva," Courtney said, "I'm very glad to have you here."

"I'm glad I could get her to come…" Gwen said, "I was kind of scared I wouldn't be…"

"Well, as long as she wasn't fighting against us, I think we'd be safe," Courtney responded.

"So, Courtney," Leshawna said, "You probably want to know where Chris went."

"I do," Courtney responded, "Can you tell us?"

"He's at the network studio," Eva said, "We overheard the lazy handyman telling some of his underlings."

"Well, then there's only one thing to do… we should go there," Courtney said.

"I don't know if that's the best idea yet," Leshawna said. "Notably, a lot of our first team is still missing."

"Can't have that," Gwen said.

"Yeah, because we're just better," Noah blurted out, which caused Courtney, Bridgette, DJ, Geoff, Duncan, Harold, Katie, Sadie, and Tyler but notably NOT Eva to look at him in a reprimanding way. "What? I'm just stating the facts."

"As abrasive as his wording was, he kind of has a point," Cody said, "I mean, we really need some people with experience if we're going to fight Chris."

"That's okay," Courtney said, "It's better to wait and get it right than hurry and fail."

Meanwhile, Chris, Chef Hatchet, and the network executive were milling. Chris said, "Okay, when I took over the world, I expected it to be more stable."

"You shouldn't fret, Chris," Chef Hatchet said, "We did just send Blaineley out after all."

"I just hope she isn't all talk," Chris said, "I couldn't stand it if we lost."

"Neither could I, Chris," the network executive said. "And that's why if Blaineley fails, and when Chef does…"

"Hey!" Chef Hatchet shouted, offended.

"…I'm going to help you," she finished.

"Help me?" Chris asked. "I don't need help."

"You don't. Right," the network executive said. "I'll see you later, Chris, and by the way, I won't help you even when you're within an inch of your life…"

"Wait Mo… Ms. Network Executive," Chris said, "I will accept your offer."

"Smart move, Chris," she responded.

"Man, those executives have a way with me, I guess," Chris said.

Author's Note: Goodies for this chapter include unit descriptions (Leshawna; Eva), death quotes (Leshawna; Eva; Duncan, late), alternate versions of the ending dialogue (Noah retrieved Eva, Leshawna died, didn't get Eva, Gwen/Noah/Cody died), alternate battle dialogue (Noah talks to Eva), Katie and Sadie's Support (Level A), Bridgette and Geoff's Support (Level B), Sadie and Trent's Support (Level B), Cody and Trent's Support (Level C), and Cody and Harold's Support (Level C).