Title: Damaged
Summary: Everyone is damaged, she explained, but not everyone is broken. Ashley never thought that going back to Baltimore with Kyla would bring her face-to-face with the one person who made her feel like she wasn't broken.
Disclaimer: I don't own SoN. What I do own is a computer and the amazing ability to not do what I am supposed to with my time.
AN: so I got a little ADD and had to relieve a little tension with a Glee fic, but no worries I knew and as one very nice reviewer (you know who you are :) ) reminded me, I needed to 'get back to it'.
Eileen drove them back to the house but before anything could be decided about what to do with the free time between then and the party at Scott's later she received a call from work. Apparently there was some minor emergency at the office that required her attention, which left the three teens on their own for a moment.
After a bit of indecisiveness and several "I don't care, what do you want to do?"s, Kyla decided to take her guests to Lexington Market for a bite to eat and a look at the "real" Baltimore. Walking around the large main building, Ashley finds herself actually having a pretty good time visiting the different vendors and watching Aiden run around like a three-year-old on a sugar high trying to make sure he sees everything there is to see is an added bonus. They're munching on Berger cookies from DeBaufre's when Ashley notices Kyla hanging back a step and checking her phone for like the eleventh time in the last half an hour, the corner of her bottom lip caught between her teeth. The musician kind of hopes that Aiden would notice and say something so that she wouldn't have to, but the boy is too distracted by a man selling fresh fish to be much help.
She pauses for Kyla to catch up and shifts her balance from foot to foot as a means of minor distraction. "Every thing okay?" she clears her throat uncomfortably.
Her half sister looks up in a bit of shock, eyes wide and Ashley isn't sure what to make of the overt reaction, but she lets it go when Kyla looks away, "Sure, everything's fine."
She nods once and is fully prepared to move on except almost immediately Kyla's biting her lip again and tapping the nail of her thumb against the screen of her phone. Ashley smirked, because if that is her 'fine' face then they should play poker some time because she's pretty sure she could take the younger girl for all she's worth.
"You sure? You look pretty … worried," she asked again, recognizing the younger girl's body language just before she called her out on it.
Kyla's lips twitched like they couldn't decide between frowning and smiling and she shrugged, "Sorry, its kind of a default setting anymore."
Ashley did frown at that, but before she could question the smaller girl further Aiden came bounding up, "Hey guys, Spencer just called me and said she would be at the house around four and to tell Kyla to stop being a Debbie Downer."
Kyla's eyebrows rose in time with Ashley's, "What do you mean Spencer just called you?"
He frowned down at the smallest brunette, "Just now, on the phone," and waved his still lit phone for emphasis, "Said to buck up and she'll see us later."
"Since when do you and Spencer talk on the phone?"
He shrugged one shoulder, "Since now I guess. Hey can we get crab cakes?" And he was off again before she could even reply.
She stomped her foot with a huff at his seeming indifference. "Okay, seriously?" she turned to Ashley, who was torn between amusement and her own curiosity. She smiled anyway and offered her own one shoulder shrug before following Aiden down the row. Kyla threw up her hands in frustration, but hastened to catch up to the two Californians.
!
At half past three Kyla and Ashley tried to wrangle a hyped-up Aiden back to the car park, which was apparently much harder than they thought it would be considering he was supposedly nota four year old. Eventually they succeeded and thankfully made their way back to the house. They pulled up closer to five than four only to find Spencer and Eileen sitting on the front porch steps, heads bent over a stack of papers, which were shuffled away when the engine of Kyla's Jeep cut off.
"I've been meaning to ask," Aiden leant over the center console to unbuckle himself, "What does your mom do?"
Kyla blinked at the random question and answered, "She's a psychologist. Why?"
He shook his head, "No reason, just curious."
They exited the vehicle as Eileen stood, "What took you guys so long?"
Both approaching girls turned mock glares on Aiden who crossed his arms defensively, "What? It was cool. I was excited."
Eileen rolled her eyes and Spencer grinned, "Did you get any Bergers?"
"Dude…" Aiden took the seat that Eileen had vacated and the two athletes chattered on about the wonders of the Market.
Kyla let her mom slip an arm around her shoulders in a half-hug. "I have to run to the mall to pick up a gift for your Aunt Maggie," she turned a questioning smile from one girl to the other, "would you ladies like to join me? Maybe get something for your little party tonight?"
The girl under her arm scoffed, "Have I ever turned down an offer for the mall?"
Eileen laughed, "What about you Ashley?" With the mother/daughter tag team of puppy dog eyes on her she found herself nodding before she even realized it. "Excellent!" the mom released her daughter and clapped. "What about you two over there? Feel up to a trip to the mall?"
Aiden glanced at the blonde who panicked just a tad at the prospect of shopping with Kyla and laughed, "If it's cool with you Ms. Woods, Spence was just telling me about a park down the street and I think there may have been a free-throw challenge in there somewhere."
"Not that the mall doesn't sound like an absolutely fantastic time, mind you," Spencer threw in hurriedly, "But the boy seems to think he can kick my ass, and we all know I can't let that go on for too long, it'd be a disgrace to my gender."
"Of course," Eileen smiled indulgently and brushed the back of her knuckles against the blonde's temple, "Take your key with you in case you get bored before us and remember not to incite any more gang wars."
Spencer threw her hands up, "I maintain I was perfectly within my rights, he was simply over-reacting."
Kyla rolled her eyes at Ashley's intrigued look, but Aiden just laughed, "Man you guys are hilarious." Eileen and Spencer offered him dead-pan looks and his grin faltered for a second, "You are kidding right?"
The blonde patted him on the shoulder, "Sure, buddy."
!
"Hey I got a question for you," Aiden announced randomly, sharply passing the ball to the blonde and watching her make the easy lay-up. They had played one-on-one to twenty by two and Aiden had won at 36-34 and probably only because of his height advantage. He was used to playing on a team and being able to use his feet skills to pass and weave in and out of the other team, but one-on-one had him at the disadvantage as he was by himself and had to rely more on ball handling, which was apparently Spencer's strength.
"Shoot," she replied, retrieving the ball and serving it out. He took a couple steps back before grabbing up the ball and jumping into a shot, smirking at the swish.
He motioned for it back and she passed it solidly. "Those tats of your," he gestured vaguely with the ball, "What do they mean?" He made another shot.
That brought her up short, stunned for a moment. She cast back her memory to figure out if anyone other than Eileen had asked her that, but couldn't recall. Most everyone, Kyla and Juliet included, just assumed they were a form of teenage rebellion, never wanting to scratch to far past the surface to see what may be found. They ball rolled past her ankle and Aiden took the necessary steps to pick it up from the grass. "Who says they mean anything?" she counter-asked.
The boy shrugged and spun the ball in his hands, "Shouldn't they mean something?"
She watched him warily and he got the feeling she was seeing more than just the surface. Finally she sighed and hooked her thumb into the waistband of her long shorts revealing the hollow of her right hip where 11-19-00 was inked in formal script with diagonal ovals encircling the two dashes. Aiden smirked to himself because gay or not, the girl was still smokin' hot.
"That's the night my parents died," his face immediately went stark, "the halos are for the lives lost." The corner of her lips lifted in a sad smile at the quickly changing expression on his face. She pulled up her shorts to cover the ink only to reveal the other side where, almost in the exact same spot, was the outline of simply decorated wings of the traditional angel. "And this is for my gaurdian angel."
"Like a legit angel? With the halo and the wings and the harp? Or is it like 'pulled you from the wreckage' in the metaphorical sense gaurdian angel?" he rubbed at the back of his head and frowned.
"Both, I guess," she let the side of her thumb brush against the smooth ink-stained skin before hiding it once more. "I mean she is real, she exists, and she saved my life or maybe convinced me that life was still worth it," her eyes developed a far away look for a moment before she bodily shook herself, looked back at Aiden and forced a smirk, "Any more incredibly personal and invasive questions?"
He was still frowning at her but forced some joviality into his expression before hard-checking the ball to her, "You and Ash should totally hook up. It would be wicked hot."
Her blonde eyebrows scrunched in confusion as she rested the ball against her popped hip, "Is that supposed to be a question?"
His grin takes on a for real amused sheen, "Please?"
Spencer doesn't think she's laughed so hard in months.
!
Finally back at the house, the musician lets out a long sigh. Now she understands why Spencer was so quick to pass up the mall. She knows she can be pretty into shopping, when a certain mood strikes her, but the Wood ladies are on a whole other level of hardcore. Ashley reaches back to rub at a kink that had developed in her neck and happens to glance out the living room window where she could see Aiden and Spencer walking back from the park. The blonde was walking backwards dribbling a basketball, but the boy was clearly visible, as were his wide grin and overt hand gestures. "What do you think they're talking about?" she asked Kyla as she was joined in the room.
The smaller girl shrugged. "Spencer's never really hangs out with guys, so I'm now sure. Sports? Girls?" she guessed, glancing over Ashley's shoulder. But then she was back to her bags, "What do you think about that yellow top for tonight?"
Ashley rolled her eyes at Kyla's short attention span, "It looked good in the store, but what would you wear it with?"
There was a 'hmm' in response, which meant that she wasn't really paying attention or asking for advice. A month ago that would have pissed her off, but now she just let it roll off her back, accepting if not particularly fond of Kyla's odd quirks.
Outside Spencer hard-checked the ball into a laughing Aiden chest before her own bright laughter cold be heard. "Hey I think I'm going to lay down for a bit," the musician sighed again, dragging her fingers through her hair.
Kyla's eyes darted up to her sister, "You okay?"
"Just a bit of a headache," she answered, pinching the bridge of her nose.
The other girl bit the corner of her lip and glanced back at the front door where her mother was poking out her head and asking the two athletes outside a question. "You might want to take my room upstairs then, it may be quieter than your room here on the first floor. And you can take the bags up with you."
She opened her mouth as if to argue, but changed her mind when she considered the offer, "Sure. Thanks, Kyla." The smaller girl waved her gratitude off with a hand and wondered into the kitchen.
!
Ashley set all the bags down next to the closet door and climbed onto the bed, settling back against the headboard and absently picked up an old edition of Cosmo that laid on the bedside table. The corner of the magazine knocked against a picture frame emblazoned with the title of 'Friends' and showing the smiling faces of her sister, Spencer, Marissa, and Val sitting side-by-side on a low wall with arms slung over shoulders.
She smiled at the captured faces for a moment before turning back to the Cosmo. There was only so much she could take of the shades of perfection that Kyla's life seemed to be made of: perfect home, perfect mother, perfect friends. So what if the girl had an enemy at school that seemed determined to hate her. People don't hate you for no reason, that is there has to be something about you that makes you stand out, something you had that made others jealous. At least that was how Ashley rationalized the way people back at Kings High felt about her, any way.
Truth is, Ashley admits to herself only in the comfort of her isolation, she thinks she may be just a bit jealous of the younger girl, and maybe even a little incredulous at how Kyla doesn't seem to appreciate exactly what she has. She thinks that if she had a life like Kyla's, a mom like Eileen and a friend like Spencer, she wouldn't move to the other side of the fucking country and leave it all behind. For all the money and the clothes and the clubs and the freedom she does have, Ashley knows exactly what her life lacks, and that's just something or someone that's just good. Something that makes her better, someone that makes her want to be better. Hell, the only good thing in her life is Aiden, and he's the one that knocked her up, left her for her best friend, came back after she'd already been saved by some kind of guardian angel on the back of a cruise liner and is now drooling over her illegitimate sister.
Her fingers brush under the hem of her top, against the curve of her abdomen where she can still sometimes feel the push of the railing and ache with that sucking, gaping despair. She frowned at herself and sat upright, suddenly wishing for the soft, blue hoodie that had been her second real comfort in life, and a stark reminder of the first.
Then there was a knock at the door and just as she answered with "Come in" the door was being pushed open and Spencer was barreling into the room, back to the bed and arms trapped in the sleeves of her tee-shirt that was being pulled over the top of her head.
"Sorry to cut and run, baby girl, but Jules just called and said she was on her way to pick me up, and you know she doesn't like to be kept waiting."
Ashley didn't know that, but it wasn't a real stretch to believe, but what Ashley did know, somewhere in the back of her mind, was that she should say something, say anything, except that Spencer frickin' Carlin was suddenly standing in front of her in just long shorts and a lacy, black bra and she was pretty sure her brain had just short-circuited.
"No snarky comment? I'm shocked, Ky, seriously," the lilt in her voice indicated teasing and the nick-name, cleared her head a bit, at least enough to understand the situation for what it was so she was sufficiently cognizant to intelligently utter, "Uhh-hmm."
The blonde twisted her neck followed by the rest of her body as she released the snap of her shorts. She raised her eyebrows in mild alarm (and then lowered them in mild amusement/embarrassment at the way Ashley's eyes had honed in on her thumbs tucked away at the waistband of her shorts) and stated the first thing that came to mind. "Well, you're not Kyla."
Spencer had never been particularly shy about her body, but she was raised to be more modest than stripping in front of virtual strangers would allow. Yet the way Ashley was staring, with such dazed appreciation, that she was quickly loosing the tension that generally accompanied changing in the locker room with girls that were not Kyla and their constantly judging eyes. The other girl's gaze was intense and like every other time she'd been alone with her, the world seemed to melt away leaving just the two of them and Spencer decided this was as good a time to figue out the brunette as any.
She left one thumb hooked in her waistband but used the other to snap her fingers and gesture in the 'my eyes are up here' variety.
The brunette flushed hotly at her own blatant ogling. Jerking her eyes up and expecting some negative emotion at her perving, she was more than a little relieved at the smirk on the blonde's lips. Yet, it was probably the playfully challenging set of the athlete's (rather nicely toned and tanned) shoulders as she stood confidently and hot in her state of semi-undress that made Ashley aware of what had been said and gave her control of her vocal cords once more. Well, if we're going to be stating the obvious, "And you're not wearing a shirt, so I guess we'll call it a draw."
She wanted to smirk, but felt it come across as more of a shy smile because this, well, this could certainly be good.