Disclaimer: All characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi.
Chapter 9: Yearning for Sunlight
Makoto had no way of knowing how long she stayed on the floor in the dark. The only thing she understood was that Ami was gone. And really, who could blame her after the way I acted? she thought bitterly. She let her frustration and temper get the better of her, instead of approaching Ami calmly. A laugh worked its way loose, a discordant, bitter sound devoid of any mirth. First she threatened Ami and then forced herself on the other woman. No wonder she ran, after such charming behavior who'd want to be next to you? The scorn and derision ran deep but could not erase the tingling of her lips.
Picking herself up off the floor she went to the open door, flashes of lightning showing her the way. A small hope within her burned, perhaps Ami had not left after all. She stared at each shadow but could not make out a thing.
"Ami?" she called out softly, and thunder rolled right over her voice. Sighing, she closed the door and felt her way back to the kitchen, with the hope of finding either candles or a flashlight. There was no way for her to know when the electricity would be back on. She allowed herself the fleeting thought of searching for Ami but squelched it, the woman could have been anywhere. Besides, from the way Ami reacted it was best not to chase her.
She found a few candles and matches by pure luck in the first drawer she opened. She guessed her old self had planned for times like this. Guess you're not always an idiot, a small voice within her snickered meanly. The self loathing had found and wrapped its arms around her securely and Makoto did not hold it at bay. Making her way to the couch she sat and pulled her legs up into the circle of her arms, chin resting over her knees. Eventually her posture relaxed and her breathing found the rhythm of sleep.
-x-x-x-
She wanders in the impossible darkness. She remembers this place, had been here once before but she cannot recall what happens next. The loneliness overwhelms her, inside and out, mimicking the inky blackness that surrounds her. Silence eats away at her, it's almost a tangible substance that creeps into her ears, nostrils, and between her lips. The sick feeling in her lower belly gives her pause and she waits a moment in order to stop the feeling, to regain herself. A hundred or thousand, no, an infinite number of years accompany her in this nebulous universe of nonexistence.
A far-off noise, a sudden rustle of things in the dark. A voice is calling for her. "Mako-chan!" It bounces and echoes before being eaten by the pitch-black in which she resides. She hears it once more before the sound of rushing water takes over. Rumbling, roaring, imposing and she is swept along like a piece of flotsam in the waves. A vague memory of floating in this manner returns and she holds onto it,trying to make it stick in that great empty space where she remembers nothing. She floats effortlessly before she realizes she's heading down into the cool depths. The depths of the ocean? She has no clue. She lands gently on her back laid out on a humongous lawn of sand and seaweed the color of turquoise. She blinks, it's the only color that stands out in the dark, it practically glows.
The slow pulsing glow of the shifting seaweed reminds her of something she has seen before. Closing her eyes she tries to think and her eyes pop open when a sensation of a million soft fingers brush against her. Bubbles encompass her on a race to the surface and the sensation reminds her that it has happened before. She remembers deep blue eyes and a mysterious smile; both accompanied by turquoise strands of hair dancing underneath the waves.
She contemplates laying in the sand, lolling between the undulating seaweed forever. Pushing away the thought, blue eyes, cool fingers and sunlight beckon her and she moves on her own, finally. The water around her seems to vibrate and the distance to the surface seems farther than ever but she keeps going. She's determined now to regain whatever she has lost and the blue eyes have the answer, she just knows it. Tiny rays of light finally appear around her and a surge of happiness gives her the energy to keep going up, up, up.
Her chest hurts, her legs and arms ache with exertion but she perseveres. Almost there, she thinks to herself, just a little bit more. The light is bright all around her and she squints to prevent it from hurting her, she's so close! Just before she breaks the surface a wall cracks, breaks within her. Like a flood, her memories wash over her, reaching into the dark blank places and filling her up. Every glorious, horrid, terrifying, lovely, and beautiful thing she has ever experienced is back. Her tears flow freely as she treads water, blinking in the sunlight that now covers her face, shoulders and upper chest. Everything is so bright!
Ami-Oh Ami!
"Mako-chan." The whisper of her name is carried on a breeze and she smiles.
Makoto's eyes open slowly. Someone is leaning over her, finally able to focus she sees it's Ami, blue hair matted and wet, eyes filled with worry and some other emotion she can't quite name.
"Ami!" The brunette sat up quickly, pulling the surprised woman into her arms. "Ami, I'm sorry!" She tightens her hold around the woman and is relieved when Ami does the same, letting out a shaky breath before burying her face in crook of Makoto's neck.
A/N: Apologies are in order:1 - No omake for this chapter either...most likely I will return with one at a later date. 2- This was a shorter chapter than the others(as if the others aren't short to begin with).
I do hope that many of you, or all of you don't find this chapter a lame cop-out. When I originally planned this story Makoto regains her memory after a kiss with Ami but things sort of deviated as I kept writing. I thought it was fitting this way because Makoto uses her own power to help herself. I'd love to hear your feedback about this. Anyway, even though Makoto is back it doesn't mean the story is quite over yet, there will be plenty of fluff and explanations.
Thanks for reading!