Top Secret Chapter 10: They're Really That Stoopid?, an ouran high school host club fanfic

They're Really That Stoopid!

This is dedicated to one of my BFFLs who's on a trip for 10 WHOLE DAYS! I miss her so much :D Know that I love you (in a friendly way of course XD) and I can't wait till ya get back! Waaaa *cries* Wuv ya sista!

stuckinadream: Guess what guess what guess what!

Kay: What already!

stuckinadream: I know in the last chapter, the Host Club might have acted out of character, but I have my reasons.

Reason #1: The club is in love! But they are too dense to know yet…except maybe Kyoya.

Reason #2: They've known Ali, Kay, and Em for two weeks and Niki and Steph…well, let's just say they're easy to be with.

Reason #3: Niki could only talk to Kaoru that easily because the subject was SHOPPING!

Reason #4: If some thought Mori showed too much emotion, I never said he showed emotion

Reason #5: If some thought Tamaki acted smart, he didn't! He's as STUPID as ever! ^_^

Tamaki: Hey! *corner of woe*

Kay: Haha!

Reason #6: I own Ouran now! So I can do whatever I want and I shawty MORI! (heehee in The Girl Who Says WOOT x3's story: Nobody's Perfect, she calls Mori Mowi by accident at first but then she keeps it that way – on purpose! I love it! It's so cute and funny at the same time!)

Random persona: You don't own Ouran.

Stuckinadream: Yes, I do!

Random persona: No, you only bought the manga.

Stuckinadream: Yup! Each volume was only $8! Only $8 and I own Ouran!

Random persona: Lots of people buy it. It doesn't mean you own it, it just means-"

Stuckinadream: Same difference!

Random persona: Not really! (What's that even mean? It can't be the same if it's different!) *passes out from confusion*

Stuckinadream: Must be a person who passes out easily. I pay almost $10 for each volume and you tell me I don't even own it! Aaaannndd moving on…

Reason #7: I only have 6 reasons

Reason #8: But I want to have 10 so…

Reason #9: I know these excuses are lame…I'm just trying to cover up that I messed up haha and I kinda sound like TAMAK (worst nightmare)!

Reason #10: Ta-da! There's 10!

Steph: Those weren't exactly reasons….

Stuckinadream: Eh, shut up.

Ok, right before I close up this VERY long disclaimer, I want to same something I didn't make clear at all (a.k.a. I never mentioned it): Niki and Steph are sisters! They're also cousins with Em and pretending to be cousins with Kay and Ali. Sorry if there was confusion. And also, it seems like the pairings aren't so clear but I'm still not sure if I should tell…

I could feel a vibration in my pocket. I pulled out my awesome new cell phone – full keyboard, touch screen, and blue (inspired by me FINALLY getting a phone for my birthday! YAY!). I had gotten new cell phone because I was on a mission and the bad guy hung me on the edge of a cliff. That's when my old phone fell out of my pocket. I never saw it again. I only didn't have an orange phone because they were sold out. Waa…A txt message! – From Kyoya! Well, he's a bit naughty, breaking the rules and all by texting me! The message said:

Do you have study hall next hour? If you do, we're having a club meeting!

From, Tamaki (your loving father)

When I finished, I saw Kay, Ali, Hikaru, Steph, Kaoru, and Haruhi reading the same txt I had just gotten. I touched: "Reply" and said:

Yes, I have study hall

This was probably the first txt I'd gotten from Tamaki that wasn't all in caps lock! And why was he using Kyoya's phone…? I didn't want to know.

We arrived at Music Room 3 a half hour later. We sat down at this large, long table, almost like the one in the meeting room back at the agency. Kyoya calmly explained that Steph was in debt for shoving chicken in his mouth and trying to steal his notebook. Steph stood up. "What! That's crazy! You can't have a little fun once in a while! Plus, the chicken's good…You can't put me in debt!"

Kyoya smiled. His smile was creepy. We also couldn't see his eyes because of the stupid reflection of the light. "Yes, actually, I can."

"No! We weren't even in 'Host Club' property!" Steph stuck her fingers up when she said "'Host Club'" and bent them twice to show the quotation marks. "That's for the chairman to decide if I'm in debt or not. Plus, I'm an age-"

"Aggressive learner! Yeah! She's here on a scholarship to use her extra time for sports, not being in debt with this gay club!" Niki interrupted.

"I am close to the chairman and so is Tamaki. Either way, you're still in debt," Kyoya told us, standing up.

After he stood up, the meeting was closed. Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru were sitting on a couch and Ali, Kay, Niki, Steph, Haruhi and I were sitting on the couch across from them. Mori and Hunny were sitting at a nearby table. Kyoya was at another table on his laptop, as usual. "Hey, Kyoya!" Kay turned around to look at him. "I thought you said there were too many Hosts!"

"There are, but since you five commoners are in debt, there's no other choice."

"Hmph," Kay sighed.

Niki stood up, carrying her coffee in her right hand. She walked over to Kyoya. "Whatcha doin'?" she asked with a gentle smile.

Kyoya showed her how he was changing the club's website a little. She bent over, pretending to look interested, and Kaoru gasped right before Niki spilled her whole cup of coffee all over Kyoya. He stood up, glaring and dripping wet. "Oh, I didn't mean to! It was an accident," it was obvious Niki was faking.

"You. Are. Now. In. Debt." Kyoya said angrily.

"Why? It was an accident!"

"It doesn't matter. You got my laptop soaked with coffee. You're in debt with your sister. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to change."

And with that, he stormed off. As soon as he left, the twins burst out laughing. "High five!"

Niki high fived them both. "I'm still in debt though. I didn't do it for you, Steph," she added as she saw Steph looking pleased. "I did it to help Em."

"Huh?" the twins said in sync.

"Never mind," Niki told them.

Suddenly, Kaoru seemed out of it. One second he was laughing and the next, he was staring into space. "Hey guess what! Mimi Matsuki will win the lottery this week! Wow, remember her! She went to elementary school with us," Kaoru burst out.

"How did you know?" Hikaru asked, and then he blanked out. Then he came back. "Hey," he gave a sly smile in our direction. ""Why are you here anyway? Oh, wait; let me guess. You finished a secret agent mission in...I dunno… Africa and you decided to see your favorite cousin. That right?"
We all stiffened up. I'd almost forgotten Hikaru could see into the past. "Um…."

"What are you talking about? We were just visiting in the area, when we saw our very lucky Aunty Mal at the supermarket and we started talking. She told Niki and me our lovely cousins were attending here, so we applied! That's when we decided to visit our favorite Ali, Kay, and Emy!" Steph faked big time with a smile on top.

"Wait, you're all related?" Haruhi asked doubtfully.

"Uhuh! Yup!" I lied.

"oh…" now Hikaru looked confused.

Good. We thought that wouldn't work. We were going to have to be much more careful from now on.

"Oh well, close enough," Hikaru and Kaoru said in sync.

I sighed quietly. That was close! Good Stephy. "No, Ali, that's not true. Deep down inside, Kyoya has a heart," Haruhi said.

"Haruhi, Ali didn't say anything," Tamaki pointed out.

"Damn these rich, stuck up bastards!" she mumbled, which automatically brought Tamaki to the corner of woe. "Wait, where's Ali?"

Everyone freaked out except for Kay, my cousins and I. "Where is she?"

"Al-chan? Al-chan? Where are you?"

"Ali?"

"…"

"Ok, that's strange…oh well!"

"Lovely daughter, where are you?"

"Hey, I've been here this whole time you idiots!" Ali appeared suddenly in the same spot she was in before.

Tamaki got offended when gentle Ali called him an idiot and went back to his personalized corner (he had come out to help find his missing "daughter")

When Kyoya came back, Tamaki yelled, "Mommy! My daughters insulted me!"

Kyoya took off his glasses and started shooting laser beams at him. This was very rare, but I guess today he felt powerful or something and wanted to fight someone. Hunny ran over. "Please stop fighting, you guys! Let's eat some cake! I'm sure that will help!" he smiled.

Kyoya glared down at him and Tamaki looked thankfully with tears streaming down his face. As soon as they looked in Hunny's eyes, they stopped. Well, actually, Kyoya stopped. Tamaki never really did anything besides running away from him, crying. "Now, Kyoya," Hunny smiled. "How bout we buy some more cake!"

"I know Ali said something! Tamaki must just be deaf," she said like nothing ever happened, and what she said brought Tamaki to…well, I think you know where :D She sighed.

"Haruhi, she never said anything," Kay pointed out.

Ali was too tired to say anything. Kay sighed. "You can read people's minds, ok!"

"What!"

"It's obvious that you can!"

"Since when?"

Kyoya looked at her. "Since the day we met Ali, Kay, and Em. Since the blue circle."

Oh…Now that you mention it, I guess hearing people's thoughts do sound a little different, but I never noticed before. It sounds…echo-y and quieter than a normal voice. But Em," Haruhi turned to me. "I've never read your mind before. I just can't."

I blushed. "That's strange," I said.

The thought of someone reading my mind was scary. "Yeah, Hunny has persuasion power with his eyes and his cuteness, Mori has the ability to be super strong, Kyoya has x-ray vision glasses and laser beam eyes, Tamaki can persuade people with his voice, Haruhi can read minds, Hikaru can see into the past, Kaoru can see into the future, Ali can become invisible and is super fast, Em can glare at people and have them throb with pain, and I can control your emotions," Kay explained to everyone with an evil smile at the end. "It really took you guys that long! You're really that stupid!"

"Hey!" they got offended. "Well, we kinda knew but we weren't really sure…"

"What about Niki and Steph?" Haruhi asked.

"They weren't here when the blue circle formed," Ali explained.

"I knew!" Hunny said happily, digging in to some more cake.

"Now he acts 18…"

"Excuse us for a sec," I smiled, dragging Kay outside the music room.

"With those powers, you know they can figure out we're agents, right?"

"Yeah, but I've got an idea…We just need Niki, Steph, and Ali."

"I'll get them! She can't read my mind!"

"She could just be saying that," Kay warned.

"Don't worry, I'll be careful," I told her.

Right when I said that, I walked into a wall. "Yeah, right," Kay mumbled. "K, I'll meet you right here then."

I walked forward again, careful to only be humming a song in my mind. Kay whispered, "You don't have to sing the song out loud! Only in your mind!"

"Ok, ok!"

I continued:

Black dress with the tights underneath
I got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth
And she's an actress (actress),
But she ain't got no need
She's got money from her parents in a trust fund back east
T-t-t-tongues always pressed to your cheeks
While my tongue is on the inside of some other girl's teeth,
T-t-t-tell your boyfriend (boyfriend) if he says he's got beef
That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't freaking scared of him

"Ali, get up!"

"Huh?" she was half asleep on the couch.

"Get up! And only think about a song."

Ali got up and started singing Don't Trust Me along with me quietly:

She wants to touch me (Whoa)
She wants to love me (Whoa)
She'll never leave me (Whoa, whoa, oh, oh)
Don't trust a hoe
Never trust a hoe
Won't trust a hoe
Cause a hoe won't trust me
She wants to touch me (Whoa)
She wants to love me (Whoa)
She'll never leave me (Whoa, whoa, oh, oh)
Don't trust a hoe
Never trust a hoe
Won't trust a hoe
Cause a hoe won't trust me

"Niki, Steph!"

They had moved over to a corner of the room and were talking to Hikaru and Kaoru about shopping…again. "Come with us!" I whispered.

"Why are you guys singing Don't Trust Me?" Niki asked.

"And why are you whispering?" Steph asked.

"Why must all noisy people ask that?" I thought.

"Come on!"

Niki and Steph joined in on the song, and now it wasn't so quiet.

X's on the back of your hands
Wash them in the bathroom to drink like the bands
And the set list (set list)
You stole off the stage
Had red and purple lipstick all over the page
B-b-b-bruises cover your arms
Shaking in the fingers with the bottle in your palm
And the best is (best is)

No one knows who you are
And you're just another girl alone at the bar

Shush girl shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips
I said Shush girl shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips
I said, Shush girl shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, oh...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, oh...

She wants to touch me (Whoa)
She wants to love me (Whoa),
She'll never leave me (Whoa, whoa, oh, oh)
Don't trust a hoe
Never trust a hoe
Won't trust a hoe
Cause a hoe won't trust me
She wants to touch me (Whoa)
She wants to love me (Whoa),
She'll never leave me (Whoa, whoa, oh, oh)
Don't trust a hoe
Never trust a hoe
Won't trust a hoe
Cause a hoe won't trust me

We met Kay outside the room. She sighed when she heard I was still singing out loud. "Ok, we all go to our last class and meet up at Mal's. I'm going to art, you guys are going to band, Niki's goin' to little teacher training, and Steph's goin' to chorus, right?"

"Yup!" we all replied to Kay.

"Meet as soon as possible at Mallory's, alright!"

"Sure!"

"Yup!"

"Duh! Where else would I go?"

"I can't," Steph told us. "After school, I'm starting my sports: track, soccer, basketball, swimming, you know the deal."

"Oh, ok, well, meet us later! I think Em might have another power!"

Thanks for reading! Please review! I wrote this for my other BFFL because I know she loves this song! Hope you enjoyed!