I set my hands on my slightly bulging tummy; I was now three months pregnant. I rested my head against the frozen window in the main room. It was wintertime, the weather outside was most definitely frightful, and fires were clearly cherished after missions.

Tobi pounded on the door, "Sage-chan! Tobi needs your help!"

I groaned, "Why?"

Tobi let out an evil laugh, "There is 2 weeks left until Christmas and we havnt set our traps for Santa yet!"

"And…?"

"That fat-ass stole my cookies!"

"Oh no he didn't." Kira exclaimed while snapping her fingers in a z formation.

"Oh yes he did." Tobi shouted, mimicking her snaps. I moved from my spot by the window and sat next to Sasori on the couch.

"Screw making traps, when he gets here, we can torture him, and then I-"

Tobi slapped Sasori upside the head, "Sasori! You're not allowed to make Santa into a puppet!"

"Dammit!"

"Oh my god! We should play house." I randomly suggested, getting excited for no reason.

"What's the point? Just wait six more months-"

Sasori and I shouted in unison, "Waiting!"

"Who the hell do you think your talking to, Kira?"

"Right, Sasori the impatie-"

Sasori gave me an evil grin; "Maybe we should just get that child out of you, now."

I shook my head, "No! I'll wait!"

"Whoa, Sage are you okay? Well besides being pregnant and all but, you just said you'd wait for something… usually you're like Sasori and can't wait for one freaking minute… your afraid aren't you?" Kira taunted.

"Lets have a tea party!" I looked around to see who had just saved me the humiliation of admitting to my childish fear.

Itachi cleared his throat, "I'm over here, baka."

I turned towards the kitchen to see Itachi leaning up against the wall. "Oh, okay."

"Tobi wants to have a tea party!"

"Oh! So does Kira!"

Sasori and I looked at each other, "Only if you get everyone else to agree."

Hidan glared at Itachi, "How the fuck did you get me to agree to this?" he asked.

I congratulated Him, "I'm surprised you didn't tip over the table and leave yet, Hidan. It's been about an hour."

"Uhm, Sasori no danna, you know all the sugars bad for you… I mean I'd expect that from Sage even if she wasn't pregnant, yeah." Deidara warned. But much to Deidara's dismay, Sasori wasn't listening. Pein glared in my direction, then at Kira. He was still pretty mad about that, but luckily for us Konan somehow convinced him that watching over children would benefit the Akatsuki. I sighed and dropped six sugar cubes into my teacup, which was actually filled with coffee.

"If you're having six sugar cubes, then I'll have seven!" Sasori dropped seven sugar cubes into his cup. I smirked; he wanted a competition.

"Then I'll have eight!" I said as I added two more cubes of sugar.

"I want nine!"

"Ten!"

"Eleven!"

"Twelve!"

"Shut up!" Pein shouted, rubbing his temples. Konan sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Sage lets screw this tea party over and go to a Mexican fiesta over at Hueco Mundo!" Kira suggested. I paused my sugar high for about a minute to think about the offer.

"They have burritos and tequila!"

"Why are we sitting here!" I asked her.

Sasori gave me a look, "No! You can't drink dumb ass! You're with child, remember?"

"Yes I can!"

"No! I wont let you mess that poor kid up!"

Kisame laughed, "You say that like the kid wont be messed up already…" I glared at him.

"Anyways… no you're not going!" Sasori argued.

I stuck my tongue out at him, "Sasori, I'm a big girl. I can decide things for myself."

"If you don't go I'll take you to the toys 'r' us…" he taunted. My eyes light up when I heard those three magical words that would make any kid under five, extremely happy.

"Hey, lets all go to Toys 'r' us!" Tobi shouted.

"I want to go to Petco!" Kisame whined.

"To the pimp mobile!" Sasori screamed as he ran out of the Akatsuki lair, to the formerly purple mini van, which Sasori, Deidara and I had spray painted midnight black. Unfortunately for the rest of us, Sasori was entrusted with the keys.

I stumbled out of the van into the mall parking lot to see that Sasori had parallel parked in two different parking spots, like an ass.

"That was the most dangerous ten minutes of my entire life, yeah."

Kisame bolted out of the van, "I think I'm going to be car sick…"

Kira leaned on Hidan, "I think I've got morning sickness…"

Hidan trying wiggling out of her grasp, "What the fuck? Don't puke on me!"

She stuck her tongue out at him, "Joking!"

Konan rolled her eyes, "How could you fall for that Hidan? Its not even morning." Sasori hopped out of the car and stood next to me. He took a sip of his coffee and pulled a sugar cube from mid-air then dropped it into his cup. Before anyone was able to say anything else, Kisame and Zetsu popped out of nowhere and began skipping like little kids to Petco, which lucky for us, was right next door to Toys 'r' us. Kira grabbed a handful of Hidan's hair and dragged him into Petco, with Pein and Konan following them.

Hidan screamed, "Da hell man?" I rolled my eyes and grabbed Sasori's hand.

"Come on boys, we're going to Toys 'r' us!"

As soon as we entered the store, Tobi pulled Itachi over to the play food section to look at the plastic stoves. Not caring that Kakuzu was the only one with money, I skipped over to the babies' section with Sasori. As soon as I stopped walking/skipping I realized that Sasori was randomly eating sugar cubes. I glared at him when he popped the next sugar cube into his mouth.

"Care for a cube, Malady?" he asked, trying to imitate a British accent.

"Why, yes! In fact, I'd love one!" I replied, holding out my hands; knowing me, Sasori gave me five. I smiled at him and shoved one into my mouth and continued looking at the tiny baby socks.

"Daddy, I went we-we in me trousers!" I burst out in a fit of laughter when I realized that Sasori had said that with a straight face, earning us both weird looks from all the other soon-to-be parents. Courtesy of his sugar high, Sasori didn't get pissed off and instead, he laughed with me.

Some random lady glared at the two of us, "Their kid is going to be so messed up…" as soon as I heard that I stopped laughing.

"What's wrong?" Sasori asked. I got on my tippie-toes so that I could whisper into his ear.

"That lady said that our kid was going to messed up! Can you get Itachi-nii over here for me?"

"Fine… I'll find Itachi, you follow her and I'll call you when I find him."

I lightly kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you Sasori!" I watched him walk away in search of Itachi as I began following the mean lady in a James Bond-like way.

I hummed, "Dun-nuh-nuh-nuuhhhhh!" as I began twirling in circles while following her.

After about twenty minutes of doing that I began to panic because, one, she was about to leave the store, and two, because I was getting dizzy. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, about to call Sasori. Just as I began to dial his number my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Turn around." He commanded. I hung up my cell phone and turned around to see Sasori and Itachi.

"You couldn't have just tapped my shoulder?"

"Nope."

"What am I here for?" Itachi asked.

"Oh, yeah. Tachi-nii can you use your mangekyou on that mean lady?"

"Why?"

"She said that Sasori and I were going to have a messed up baby!"

"So? Its completely true."

"Hey!"

"Why don't you use one of your jutsu?"

"Sasori and everyone else said that I shouldn't!" I pouted, "Plus, with tsukyomi you could put her through 24 hours of hell until she apologizes!"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Do you want me to be even more blind than I am now?"

"Hey, where's Tobi?" Sasori asked.

I panicked, "Where's Deidara?"

Itachi laughed, "I love how none of us care that Kakuzu's gone."

"Well if it was the other way around, he wouldn't care if we were gone."

Sasori sighed, "True. But Tobi and Deidara being gone, that's could be a very bad thing."

"I don't even think Deidara came into the store with us… I know he didn't go into Petco though…"

"How 'bout it, Tachi? Twenty bucks says he stole the car keys from Sasori."

"Twenty says he didn't." Sasori checked his pockets.

"Sage wins."

"God damn it!"

Itachi counted out twenty dollars, "Yes! Hand me the money, onii-sama!"

Itachi handed me his money and got back on topic, "Okay, now about finding them-"

"I call finding Tobi!" I shouted.

"I'm gonna find Kakuzu." Said Sasori.

"You guys are assholes."

"Fine, Tachi take my cell, Deidara is speed dial number three."

"What number am I?" Sasori asked.

"Number two."

"Then who the hell is number one?"

"Voice mail, dumb ass!"

Itachi shook his head, "And I repeat, you guys are assholes."

I wandered around the mall for hours in pursuit of Tobi. I tried thinking of all the places I hadn't looked, but I was sure i checked every store. I ran over to a random wall and banged my head against it. I was so stupid to give Itachi my cell phone. After about five minutes of cursing myself and banging my head against that wall, I decided to go back to Toys 'r' us. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw Sasori fighting with Kakuzu. When Sasori saw me, he grabbed my hand and began pulling me threw the mall. "Where the hell have you been? We've been looking for you for a whole fucking hour!"

I cursed as Sasori's grip tightened and as his voice rose. "We've been trying to leave for a whole fucking hour! But no, we had to wait for you and Tobi! If I would've known that it would've taken you this long to find him, I would've found him myself! Everyone else is waiting for us back in the car!" Sasori paused and sighed. "Well at least we're all leaving now."

"I didn't find Tobi…" I mumbled. Sasori stopped.

"What? After all this and you didn't even find him?"

I rolled my eyes, "Somebody needs more sugar in his system… then maybe he'd be a bit nicer-"

"Does the name Mr. impatient mean anything to you?" he asked as he whipped the van door open. Deidara chuckled as I sat next to him.

"So how'd Itachi find you?" I asked

"Well he called me and told me to come back with the car intact, so for once, I listened to him, yeah. But then, when I got back, he chased me around the parking lot, hm."

"How about you, Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu pointed at Sasori, "Ask that dickhead."

"I found him by the check-out in Sears. He was trying to kill some random guy who, Kakuzu swears, has a large bounty on his head."

I giggled. "Nice!"

"So, Sage, I see you failed to find Tobi. Good job!" Kisame gave me a thumbs up, which I returned with a grin.

I moaned as the car finally stopped. For some odd reason, Sasori thought it would be a good idea to waste $200 on olive garden just so that he could drive the car for a longer period of time.

"We've finally stopped… We're back!" Kira rolled out of the car and began to try to hug the ground.

Kisame turned to Pein, "Never give him the keys ever, again."

"Come on, Sage, get out of the car."

"No, Sasori. I don't want to get up."

"How in the hell were you able to sleep through that god damned car ride?" Hidan asked.

"Practice. Lots of practice."

"Okay are you getting out of the car or not?" Sasori shouted.

"No! Leave me here!" ignoring my request, Sasori picked me up and gave me a piggyback ride inside.

"You're fat." He complained.

"Your fault." I snapped.

"Finally! You guys are back! Look at our pretty Christmas decorations!" Tobi exclaimed. I glared at him.

"You came back here without telling us? I looked for you for two whole hours. Two fucking hours Tobi."

"And…?"

"I'm going to kill you."