Alright, a heads-up to everyone before you read this chapter. I do not plan to rush the romance in this fic so when you come to a certain part in this chapter - and you'll know it when you get to it - please remember that these two don't even like each other yet and they're still trying to reach an understanding. I'm not trying to do the whole "I hate you in one moment and love you in the next for no reason" thing. shudders::

Rest assured, these two are going to fall in love but it's going to take work before it happens. Also, in regards to Sesshy's personality, he's young but not stupid. These two don't really know each other yet so there's going to be quite a bit of guesswork going on as to "why is he like this?" or "why does she do that?" Rin's going to take our Sess on a wild ride before I'm through.

Also, before anyone asks - I've probably already said this before but just in case - Sesshoumaru's youki kind of has a mind of it's own. He doesn't have multiple personalities but I've always imagined that he can't exactly turn his senses off either. Since they are so much more highly developed than a human's I treat them as the part of him that will admit to and notice things that he would rather not. Call it comic relief mixed with a healthy dose of contrivance, if you will. ::grins::

Anyways, much love to my reviewers:

SpazzChicken(I did use to many she's in my description, sorry 'bout that, I guess I got caught up, thanks for noticing it)Alisorosessxrinbirdladaybirdlady(did you review twice ), withering-blackrose(I absolutely do not mind if you add it to your C2)Ciel(you have a good point but I don't want Rin to be too hard-hearted of a character. I honestly see her as the type who looks for the good in everyone while being cautious at the same time. Like I said, Sesshoumaru reminds her of herself before she had a family, so she can sympathize with him on that level, but she doesn't necessarily excuse him for the way he acts. She also isn't foolish enough to burn her bridges)whitehitsugayaUnknownBeautyloha, New Fan, fluffycrushJaydeRaineLitoxShortyHawkAngel XD, anhimalsTatteredCrimson(There's going to be a lot of "get to know the characters thoughts-ish" parts, so that you can see just how differently these two think…and just how wrong they are about each other in some areas, lol. Glad you liked it.)

Ties of Blood

Chapter 8

Boundaries

"So soft," his youki murmured.

"So delicate."

"So fragile."

Sesshoumaru clenched his teeth and attempted to ignore the constant stream of descriptions that his youki sent his way regarding the girl. If there was anything that he regretted about being a youkai, it was the inability to completely turn off his senses sometimes. It was even worse when he was here inside of his ancestral home, where generation after generation of inuyoukai had dwelled before him. His palace and a great deal of the surrounding forest was saturated with youki that, while not necessarily his own, was similar enough to magnify his senses many times over whenever he was in residence. Few things went on in his household that he was not aware of.

There was so much residual power threaded throughout his abode that if any human or youkai were ever able to harness it against him, there would be little he could do to fight against it – unless he had something like the Shikon no Tama. As it was, the leftover youki floating about in the air had a mind of its own and had a tendency to cling to anyone who entered its sphere of influence. The girl was certainly no exception and he had to wonder just how powerful she was if she could repel the vast amount of youki that had no doubt attempted to attach itself to her.

Only two humans had ever entered his family's abode - the first was the mother of his half-brother and the second was Souta. Both humans became violently ill upon entering and had been bed-ridden for a few days whereas Rin had forcibly expelled the youki out from her body and, aside from a temporary bout of weakness, was fine enough in a few minutes to face his hostile subjects and show him yet another glimpse of that curious boldness of hers. If he wasn't so annoyed, he would have found himself admiring her.

His annoyance stemmed from two different areas. The first was Kuroko. The watarigarasu – or raven –youkai sought to usurp him and it was growing tiresome to juggle her back and forth between his people and hers. She had been after his position for half-a-century, he had known it the moment he met her. Her first ploy had been to try and seduce him, but - since he had never been particularly interested in anyone besides himself - he had only a rudimentary idea of how to court a female and little desire to rectify his situation. In fact, the first time that he had ever really taken the time out to appraise a female's charms would be the previous night when he first met Souta's troublesome, adopted sister. Since then, his youki had yet to stop sending him comments about her and it was sorely trying his patience.

Naturally, just thinking about how she was affecting him led him on to the second source of his aggravation: Rin. She had very nearly ruined his painstakingly executed plan with her accursed boldness.

The taiyoukaiknew that some of his subjects thought that he was merely young and foolish, easily manipulated and blind to most of the things they did. What they didn't know was that he was very much aware of their activities. For example, he knew that a certain number of his nobles had allied themselves with Kuroko and had been slowly trying to turn his own people against them. He had known about their plot from the moment they set it into motion, about five years previously. Sesshoumaru was incensed at first but the more he thought on it, the more he realized that an opportunity had opened up. The young lord had no intention of being like his father - a "fair" ruler who was led about by his foolish emotions and destroyed the empire he had worked so carefully to maintain for the sake of a worthless human woman.

If he had to manipulate others to hold onto his power, so be it. If he had to build a kingdom on the blood of others, so be it. He was far more patient than others gave him credit for and ha had merely been biding his time as he watched…and waited. The fools were so confident, certain that he didn't know but they too were pawns, a means to an end. Let them gather followers around themselves. Let them try and build an army against him. All of the people who sought to do him harm would come out of the woodworks and foolishly ally themselves with his betrayers. Soon, very soon, they would make their move and he would perform a bit of "spring cleaning," getting rid of the trash as it were.

However, Sesshoumaru would not be rushed - they couldn't know that he was on to them, hence his deliberate refusal to answer Kuroko. The raven youkai was conniving and intelligent – he could almost admire her for that – and he had already made the decision to use Rin's arrival as the perfect opportunity to fan the flames of his enemies just a little bit higher…until Rin stepped up.

He had thought that even Rin would learn fear when faced with a crowd of youkai who were weary of fighting her kind and would just as soon eat her as look at her. However, she had surprised him as well. She was far more intelligent than he gave her credit for and had felt the beginnings of admiration stir for her once more as she faced down Kuroko – who had been putting Rin down from the moment he landed on the back of Ah-Un. Rin was so very tiny – his youki had made sure to bring that fact to his attention – as she stood before the raven youkai and matched her glare for glare. And then, she took it a step further. When Kuroko threatened to kill Rin, he had almost moved to intervene but the young human girl had shocked every person in the crowd when she invoked his name.

The taiyoukai would not soon forget the sight of her, standing there so proud and straight, her chin lifted in defiance as she spoke.

"I am not yours to kill. My life belongs to Sesshoumaru-Sama, do you think you have the right to take it?"

Sesshoumaru had been debating whether she was brave or merely stupid and her actions decided him. How she knew what to say in order to save her neck from an angry female youkai, he didn't know, but she had apparently divined enough about his character and the situation to turn it to her advantage. Not only had she saved her own life with her words but she had more or less placed herself under his "protection" by saying that no one but him had the right to kill her. It was an unspoken rule among youkai that you simply didn't take someone else's kill – especially that of your ruler – unless permission had been granted. Call it a throwback to the animal instincts that each youkai possessed in varying degrees, but it worked. Rin, he decided, was a clever, clever girl.

Too clever, actually.

He decided then and there that he needed to nip her in the bud before all of his carefully laid plans went to ruin. Her calm explanation of her situation to the crowd had set his plans back as he saw some of his subjects calm down a bit, chew on her words, and nod to themselves that this made sense. It was the exact opposite of what he sought to achieve. He wanted them angry, not accepting of the situation.

That Rin might have the potential to accomplish something that no human had before – getting his people to accept her – was readily apparent. She was smart enough to figure out how youkai worked and stubborn enough to wear most of them down and he would have none of it.

Hence, it brought him back to this moment. Golden eyes pierced soft brown and silence had descended after she had answered all of his questions. She was afraid, he could smell it, but it didn't give him as much pleasure as he thought it would. Well, perhaps a better description would be that it he did and didn't enjoy her fear. He had yet to remove his claws from her neck and would have been easy enough to snap her neck but he couldn't.

"Tell me," he said softly, "if you despise me so, why come to my rescue? I would think that you would be glad to get rid of me."

She swallowed and he felt to small bones of her neck undulate gently against his pal with her movement.

"I never said I despised you," she said slowly, "but I am not stupid. I don't know why you let her talk to you like that but if your people betray you…what do you think will happen to me? Even if I must suffer you for the rest of my days, I'd rather do that than lose my life."

He turned her words over in his mind and realized that – though his pride didn't like the fact that she had presumptuously decided to "defend" him by lessening the offense of bringing in another human in the eyes of his people – what she said actually made some sort of sense. The young woman really didn't have much of a choice in her course of actions. Souta had already prepared himself to die before Sesshoumaru brought him home to his castle, so he had simply taken whatever came his way but Rin…she was a fighter. She had, amazingly enough, analyzed the situation and taken the steps necessary to keep herself alive. Even though she didn't like him, she wasn't foolish enough to believe that she would live to see the end of the day if he was out of the picture. So, she had stepped in where he would have allowed things to run their course and turned his plans upside down because she wanted to keep on breathing.

Of course, he had no intention of dying whenever his untrustworthy subjects revolted against him but she didn't know that. However, he had definitely been correct in his earlier assessment that she was a very intelligent girl and he knew that, sooner or later, he was going to have to form yet another plan in order to keep her under his thumb. Rin was afraid of him now, with his claws pressed into the tender flesh of her neck, but he highly doubted that she would maintain that fear for very long - she didn't seem the sort to bow to anyone. Besides, fearful she might be at the moment, but there was no disguising the defiant gleam in her eye.

"So pretty," his youki murmured out of the blue and he blinked, his hold loosening just a bit.

Talking to her had distracted him from the observations his youki fed him about her and he had foolishly let down his guard. Now that he had taken to ruminating over her actions in his mind, it seemed to have joined forces with the vast amount of residual youki embedded in every stone, tree, and particle of dust and air that made up his castle and lands. The effect of their combined influence was staggering and his senses were suddenly overloaded with feedback – all of it stemming from Rin.

Things like this were exactly why he avoided skin on skin contact with everyone, especially in his own home. What might have stirred up mild sensations outside of his realm was magnified many times over once he was back in his own demesne. Add to that his unusual fascination with Rin, and it was a recipe for trouble. He'd had enough trouble already when he entered the air above his courtyard on ah-Un's back and his body had suddenly felt hyper-sensitized to the feel of her slight form in his arms.

Now, as he held her and felt the fragile bones and soft skin that comprised her neck, something new - made up of one part youkai and one part male - stirred briefly inside of him and his body went rigid. A very subtle shift occurred and he got that odd feeling again – that sort of "liked-but-disliked" feeling. However, this time, it wasn't so much a feeling as it was the knowledge that a mini civil war was about to be waged inside of him.

Case in point, the longer he stared at the pale skin of the neck the more he felt torn between wanting to tear her throat out with his fangs and wanting to take his tongue and lap at the salt on her skin. He both wanted to tear her head off and slide his hand up and down her neck – maybe even a little further – to see if she was so soft everywhere. And the scent of blood emanating from the place where his claws had punctured her…his tongue felt thick in his mouth as he imagined both the sensation of it sliding over his claws as he killed her and the taste of it should he turn her around and soothe the slight wounds with his tongue.

Never in his life had he had such a strong reaction to any female and yet he could bring himself to let go of her until he realized that he had taken his thumb and was running it slowly up and down the column of her throat. His youki fed him the sensations while his mind provided the images of both taking that slender neck of hers and twisting it until it snapped or burying his nose against it and inhaling her scent until he passed out from sensory overload.

With some effort he released his grip on her throat and controlled his breathing, furious with her and his reaction to her nearness. Never, ever, EVER in his life had he felt this oddly around a woman and he did not like it – even less because he barely knew her. He couldn't control the glare he sent her way and he was satisfied to see her flinch. However, she evoked his admiration and irritation simultaneously when she seemed to give herself a little shake and returned his hard look with one of her own, her stance radiating wariness. She might not have been a youkai but she apparently knew that, right now, she was in the presence of a predator. He was halfway tempted to bare his fangs at her to make her submit to him but reason overrode the impulse - that urge was purely youki speaking and he refused to indulge the more animalistic side of his nature.

Whatever the case, he needed to take control of the situation now before he made a fool of himself. Taking in a deep breath, he lowered his eyelids and forced himself to calm down so that he could extricate his power from that of the surrounding area. The taiyoukai's heartbeat slowed and his acute awareness of the human girl diminished until he felt no more than a tiny pang of recognition. His sensitive ears picked up on her harsh pants as her lungs tried to re-adjust to an unconstructed airway. Her hard breaths gradually slowed then settled down to the near imperceptible inhales and exhales of normal breathing.

"She's staring at you," his youki whispered and he stifled a sound of annoyance at yet another unwanted observation about the girl - he seemed to be permanently upset by Rin these days. Sesshoumaru ignored her for the moment, knowing that she really didn't have anywhere else to go until he gave her directions. His breathing came out just a bit easier and his heartbeat finally resumed its normal rhythm as his body finished expelling the bulk of additional youki.

And, of course, as if it had been allowing him time to deal with his treacherous powers before coming out, his curiosity hit him with a barrage of questions.

Why was she still standing there even if she didn't know where to go? Was she not afraid of him even though he had crossed yet another line in his threats against her? Why had his own youki betrayed him like that? Why had he been torn between killing her and lavishing her with his affections like one of the lower youkai who thrived on human contact and produced enough half-breed offspring to fill a small village

He felt the beginnings of a potential headache stirring and sighed very gently so as not to alert Rin to his current mood. The young lord didn't think he'd ever had to fight against himself like this before and he would not care for a repeat. There were so many questions bouncing around in his head and few answers to go with them. His only certainty was that the answers to most of his questions lay with Rin and he wasn't about to ask her for them either.

Later, in the privacy of his own room, he would figure out why he'd reacted to strongly to her nearness and why his youki sought her out so much but now was not the time. 'I need to figure out where to put her,' he thought, still ignoring the girl in front of him.

'Perhaps I can put her in her brother's room? No, there are too many males in wing,' he refused to contemplate why he felt the need to keep her separate from other males, 'maybe with the servants…' His musings were cut short by the sound of Rin's voice.

"Oh my," she said and he opened his eyes fully once more to look at her, deliberately putting a tight lid on the remnants of his inner turmoil.

He took the time to shoot a small glance at her neck, relieved when all he could think of was that it was indeed very fragile. No visions of tearing it open or licking it clean assaulted him and some of the tension when out of his body. Golden eyes slid upwards to stared into soft, earthy brown ones and he searched their depths to see if she had reciprocated his feelings in any way – not that he was the best at reading the emotions of others – and more tension flowed out when he detected no signs of attraction. Her eyes were curious, a little wary, but open nonetheless and he nodded to himself mentally. She was definitely no youkai who was cursed with hyper-acute senses that took on a mind of their own sometimes.

"What is it now?" he asked at last, once he was satisfied with his perusal.

"It's just, I never noticed that over your eyes – and I hesitate to say face paint because I only ever see that on women – are…are…I don't know what you call them," she said, biting the corner of her lip in embarrassment or, more likely, amusement.

It took him a moment to understand that she was asking him about the small, crimson stripes that adorned his eyelids, but when he did, he was taken aback. Of all the things he thought she might say or take note of. Of all the questions that were sure to be flying through her mind about his aggressive behavior just a few minutes ago. Of all the random things that seemed to pop out from between those pouty lips of hers, he would never have thought that she would choose now, of all times, to ask him that. Just when he thought that he might be pegging down her unruly personality, that odd quirk of hers struck again.

Granted, her question did take his mind off of the disturbing thoughts that followed in the wake of his…unusual reaction to her, but it was uncanny how much alike she and her brother were sometimes. Of course there were huge personality differences such as Souta's yielding nature and Rin's pushy one, but both were inordinately curious. And both had reacted to the markings adorning his eyelids the same way.

'Maybe I should make a sign…' he thought to himself before opening his mouth to answer her unexpected question and closing it immediately. 'Am I losing my mind?' he asked himself sourly. He had no obligation to answer such an asinine question and he would not indulge the woman-child in front of him by giving her a reply. The look he sent her way told her as much.

He was rewarded with a bright smile that immediately put him on guard. Rin should have been afraid of him for at least a few hours or something but there she stood, looking as if the stressful ordeal of being insulted and scrutinized by his people and nearly choked to death by himself had happened years ago instead of a mere half-hour or so ago. There was an unreadable look in those soft brown eyes of hers and he wondered, not for the first time, just what was going through her head.

"Where will I be staying, Sesshoumaru-Sama?" she asked after a while.

Sesshoumaru had a feeling that she wanted to ask him something else entirely but opted not to inquire about it lest she think he had more than a passing interest in her – he did, but there was no need for her to know that. He could only imagine the look on her face if he told her that his interest in her was partially that of a youkai who wished to use her as a tool for furthering his own ends. She would be useful in flushing out more of his enemies and he hadn't forgotten about her raw powers. If he could have a miko on his side…the possibilities were endless.

He had to force down a predatory grin in order to maintain his usual apathetic expression as he turned towards his castle and said, "Follow me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rin stuck by her earlier assessment: Sesshoumaru was a living, breathing, walking, talking contradiction.

She might have been young but stupid, she was not. Yes, he had scared her when he was all but choking the life out of her, but the look that came into his eyes after she told him her reason for interceding on his behalf was even more frightening. If she had to describe the way he looked at her, she would have said he wanted to either dismember her or throw her down and do unspeakable male things to her. She was well aware of the fact that, while she wasn't exactly beautiful, she had been pretty enough to turn heads since she was thirteen. If she didn't know that Sesshoumaru didn't care for humans, she would have categorized the look he gave her as somewhat desirous. However, since that didn't compute with what she knew about him she swiftly discarded the notion and decided that he was sifting through the various ways he wanted to end her life.

It was better to think that way after all because, even though she was a practical soul, she was still female. No woman in her right mind could possibly remain unaffected if a creature as gorgeous as Sesshoumaru had his sights set on her. Therefore, for Rin's peace of mind, the safe thing to do would be to categorize Sesshoumaru's relationship to her as that of a cat and the mouse he wanted to play with…right before he bit off her head and left in a doorway somewhere. It would not do to dwell on the way her stomach had performed a tiny flip-flop when the notion of Sesshoumaru paying the slightest bit of romantic attention to her had flitted through her confused mind.

Besides, she hadn't forgotten that she disliked him and, until he started to remove some of the walls he kept around himself, she would continue to dislike him. However, after he released her and seemed to be composing himself, she hadn't been able to resist the temptation to look at him - really look at him - in the full light of day, without being perched on the back of a dragon flying miles above good old terra firma and scared out of her mind.

Rin had to wonder at the wisdom of her decision as it hit her once more that Sesshoumaru was absolutely stunning. Sesshoumaru by torchlight was good-looking. Sesshoumaru by the light of a hundred burning buildings was mesmerizing. Sesshoumaru looking down at her and growling by the light of the morning sun was dangerous and beautiful. And Sesshoumaru, who was half ignoring her with his eyes nearly closed. Sesshoumaru, who stood there while the sun reached down and caressed its fingers across his face to bring his strong jaw and high cheekbones into stark relief before plucking pure white highlights out of his shimmering, silver hair. This Sesshoumaru before her made her wish in a very secret place – half-hidden even from herself - that his personality was beautiful enough to match his looks.

Very rarely did any man turn her head but this person, this youkai, reminded her that she was a young woman who was old enough to wed and that she was going to be around him for an, as yet, unknown period of time. For a brief second, the Rin from the past six years returned. That Rin had played such a shy, lady-like role for so long that she half believed that that was who she truly was. That Rin didn't run and play around like she used to but walked in tiny, mincing steps, performed the tea ceremony perfectly, and believed that her duty was to marry into a good family and provide excellent connections for the Higurashi family – more specifically, for its strict master. That Rin wouldn't have snuck out to free her brother and put herself in the hands of a dangerously beautiful but inhuman master.

She felt a strong surge of both insecurity and inferiority as her mind raced around the fact that Sesshoumaru was far out of her league, dwelling on that fact like a dog that barked and ran circles around the tree up which it had chased its prey. Oh, she was strong when she had to be, but there were still times when she felt she wasn't good enough, when nothing she did ever seemed to please the master of the Higurashi household. It was how she had felt as a bedraggled orphan, who acted more like a wild animal than a human because she had been repeatedly told that a child without parents was better off dead. She had been angry, so angry…and so lonely.

When the head of the Higurashi house hold had looked at her after his children brought her home for the first time, she had been acutely aware of just how much greater he was than her. She knew he was powerful and he didn't let her forget it. After Souta left for the war, he expected the best and only the best from her when it came to her studies in the art of being a woman from a family which produced some of the strongest priests and miko in all Nippon. The real Rin, the courageous Rin, had gradually submerged beneath the deceptively calm waters of a lake termed "A Lady".

Her first act of defiance in six years had been her attempt to rescue her adopted brother. How could she - after tasting freedom following such a long wait – possibly go back to the way she was? How could she return to being a painted doll that did things only because it was expected of her and endured because she herself felt as if she would never be good enough to satisfy someone else's standards?

Once, she had looked up at the imposing master of the Higurashi household and been acutely aware that he was much stronger and greater than she and it had shaped her behavior for years. She would not allow it to happen again with Sesshoumaru. He was ten times more imposing than her adopted father and his hypnotic beauty presented a threat to her emotional well being that she hadn't encountered before. But she would not give him the sort of power over her that she had given her "father", allowing her misconceived notions about herself to make her do what he wanted her to just because she didn't think she was good for anything else. What slave, after breaking free, would willingly return to his or her chains?

Her resolve not to give in to his whims hardened and she decided to take control of the situation while she could. She had already realized that the best way to deal with him was to keep him on his toes by doing and saying the unexpected, which was why she decided to pick out one of his features that she hadn't paid much attention to before and ask him about it. What she really wanted to know was the meaning behind that curious look he'd given her when he was threatening her life just a few minutes ago, but he was smart enough to expect that type of question and counter it with something rude.

He really was a lot like her as child, when she was simply a wanderer with nothing but a raggedy kimono and two hands that were only good for stealing food. They weren't so similar in the fact that she'd had an inferiority complex, per se, but they were so much alike in their desire to shut everyone out. Naturally, that didn't excuse his rudeness but it had been, and still was, the main reason why she was inclined to take his words and actions with a grain of salt. His arrogance and standoffishness were aggravating but, then, he hadn't had Souta like she had growing up. It made for an interesting challenge to see if she could open him up.

With that in mind, she opened her mouth and got his attention with an "oh my" that gave the impression that she had just had a revelation of some sort.

Silver-tipped eyelashes, that put most women to shame, rose and revealed a penetrating pair of golden irises that met her own plain, brown orbs. For one long minute he appeared to search her eyes for something and it was by sheer will alone that she kept her stomach from performing flip-flops again just because he took his time to peruse her. Some small part of her wondered what it was that he saw and an even smaller part hoped that he was just a little bit pleased at what he saw.

Rin swiftly choked that asinine thought to death before she said something stupid.

"What is it now?" he asked after a while and she mentally took a deep breath before asking him about those strange marks over his eyes.

The results were amusing to say the least. If she closed one eye and squinted, she could just make out the flicker of surprise that went through his normally impassive eyes before he opened his mouth and shut it, biting back whatever it was he planned to say.

'Bet you really weren't expecting that,' Rin thought smugly as he seemed to be at a loss for words. Despite her rather dour thoughts earlier, she had never been the type to dwell on things that made her unhappy for too long since she was well aware of the fact that sad thoughts made her bad company. She had never quite managed to quell her mischievous streak and it served her well when dealing with others - the taiyoukai was no exception.

Instead of saying anything, Sesshoumaru glared at her, his mouth set in a line that told her he wasn't going to answer her. And since she had asked him such a random question for the express purpose of throwing off his equilibrium, she also made the choice to mess with him even more by returning his scowl with the prettiest smile she could muster. If anything his scowl deepened.

So perhaps she was a bit suicidal to bait him like this, but she couldn't help it, he needed some serious shaking up. She'd been afraid that she had pushed him too far when he had his hand around her throat. In fact, she had truly believed he meant to kill her, for sure this time, but the fact that he hadn't when it would have solved a potential problem between his subjects and him told her a lot about him. Whether his reasons were noble or not, something inside of her told her that he had a lot to offer her and the rest of the world if only she could get a hold of the real Sesshoumaru.

With that in mind, she asked him where she was going to be living in that ridiculously large castle of his.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was hard, sometimes, to be both a miko and the "weapon" that the people making use of her powers had formed her into. If Kikyou used too much of her power, she could hear their voices shrieking at her, trying to tear her to pieces from the inside out because her body sped up the purification process and hurt them. On the other hand, if she didn't keep enough spiritual energy circulating throughout her body, the darkness embedded inside of her tried to take over and suck her down and swallow her consciousness whole. It was a lose-lose situation with both her life and her sanity on the line.

Sometimes she would do something that she knew she shouldn't and it was then that she would have to fight herself - feeling torn between disappointment and deliriously wicked glee at making the people around herself suffer. The hand that she had used to slap Souta throbbed and she hated herself for hurting her little brother. And yet, at the same time a corner of her mouth twitched upwards and a wicked voice, originating from the thing inside of her –which she referred to as "the Darkness" - told her in dulcet tones that he deserved everything she did to him and more.

It was just…she had been so angry that he was hiding things from her. She was his big sister. Hadn't she always watched over and protected him? How could he repay her by trying to protect the traitorous miko who had set Sesshoumaru free?

"Because you aren't yourself," a tiny voice whispered and she felt like crying all of a sudden.

She always got like this in one of her rare lucid moments. It mostly happened here in the privacy of her room. Here, where there were no enemies to fight and the clean power of purification housed in her body was able to push back the dark cloud of twisted hatred that enveloped her most of the time…it was then that she felt her human emotions rushing back. It made her feel maudlin and weak while reassuring her, at the same time, that she was still a human being who could love others.

To love and be loved.

It was also in these moments that she thought about the people she called family. She missed them, really she did, and no matter how much the Darkness swallowed her up she could never bring herself to forget them. Kagome was still there and she only wanted to protect her…

"…as long as she doesn't get in your way," the Darkness finished for her.

Kikyo shivered and drew her cover up closer around her. Yes, she loved them all so very much - Kagome and Souta, her parents, and Rin…sweet Rin. She never had apologized to her for the time she pushed her down and hurt her but Rin had always been the forgiving sort, so she was sure that the girl would still be happy to see her.

"If she's still alive," the Darkness whispered, sounding as if it would be mightily pleased if Rin was dead and buried beneath the rubble that used to be a town outside of the Daimyo's gates. Kikyo frowned and burrowed even further under the covers. She fully intended to investigate the place where her family's home used to be the following day to see if there were still traces of the unknown miko's power. Her day had been spent sifting through the few surviving townspeople, seeing if anyone had seen or heard from her parents and trying to locate the errant miko who had aided in Sesshoumaru's escape as well.

It was an intriguing name that her brother had called the youkai – this Sesshoumaru - and she sometimes found herself whispering it under her breath and visualizing the magnificent beast. Even she had to admit that he was a pretty thing but her admiration was more for the challenge he presented than his physical looks. The miko had felt the vast amount of power housed in his body and anticipated the chance to use her full range of abilities on a youkai for once. The Darkness, on the other hand had felt Sesshoumaru's power and wanted it for itself.

And if there so happened to be a miko hanging around and aiding Sesshoumaru, well, the Darkness had no qualms about consuming her as well.

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As usual, please read and review. I'm still tweaking this fic and working out the character's personalities. Hopefully this wasn't too repetitive and boring for you all. Much love to my dear readers.