Sorry for the long wait my dears, I hope this makes up for it since there's quite a bit of progression between these two. Poor Sess doesn't know how to deal with Rin and Rin is finding that there's no reasoning away her attraction to Sesshy.
Thanks to:
mistery rose, mintandtea (You completely made my day. I am not the "OMG, yur hawt lets get married" type because I truly believe in building a relationship over time, verses jumping into one immediately. I'm the "let's be friends and have a good rapport with each other before we go further" type. Thanks for picking up on what I was going for and letting me know that I'm not going to slow.), rose, withering-blackrose, kip, Valerie (Two reviews? You're too sweet), vanilfrappe, AnimeFreak-TrunksPan-Lover4evr, JC-WV, anhimals(Inu's going to put in his appearance but not for a while yet. I'm going to ease him in slowly), Krazi3-AnimeLover, Frangiani (Genius? Moi? I'm glad I haven't scared you away with the less-than-usual plot), Che-chan (I absolutely refuse to let this story go on hiatus for so long again. Glad you liked the tail wagging ;P), HawkAngel XD, SpazzChicken, New Fan (Don't worry, Kagome will get her Inu-puppy before the end), whitehitsugaya, birdladay, SeEmYaWeSoMeNeSs (I know the last chapter was a bit odd, I hope this makes up for it a bit).
P.S. Thanks to everyone who commented on the bit about Sesshoumaru wagging his tail. I wasn't sure how my dear readers would react but I had such strong imagery about it that I couldn't resist putting it in. If you know me from reading any of my other fics, you know I like humor so expect more before the end. Who says a serious story can't also be funny ;P
Ties of Blood
Chapter 13
Monsters
Rin always knew that someday her mouth would get her killed. She was too outspoken, too opinionated, too bold…too much of everything that usually resulted in death or imprisonment.
She had been too bold when she thought she could touch Sesshoumaru with impunity. It hadn't been her intent, of course, but there he was - so beautiful that she could cry and with a hand that was gentle as it ran through her hair. As she stared at him, she couldn't help but notice that here vision seemed…clearer, somehow. It was like the in-between moment when she was about to cry, where everything was razor sharp for a split-second before the tears spilled over.
There was no indication of his youki now and she knew that it was because he had gathered it back into his body and was apparently keeping a tight lid on it. It was doubtful that she would soon forget the sight of thousands of tiny green specs dancing in the air around him like stars before whirling together and gathering onto his body - tiny, green burrs of light that disappeared within moments of contact.
It was beautiful to watch. He was beautiful. And she fought a blush as she remembered the odd feelings that had crept over her when they faced each other in the courtyard.
Those feelings were creeping back now and it occurred to her that she should be holding them back with the barrier of denial she had erected before. But...she couldn't.
No, instead her mind focused in on the fact that his arms were so strong and yet so gentle. She didn't think that anything in her life had ever made her feel as secure as being cradled in Sesshoumaru's arms had. It was true that he irritated her no end with his haughtiness, but she was hard-pressed to dwell on the negative aspects of his personality when he had just stepped way over the line he'd drawn between the two of them.
'And now he's trying to escape back to his side of the line,'' she thought to herself.
Rin could tell he was trying to put up a wall between the two of them again because of the first words that came out of his mouth after he brought his youki under his control. She could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to categorize their actions as nothing more than an insignificant event.
It irritated her for, some reason, which is why she refused to let him make his escape.
The taiyoukai called their interaction a "thing," she blocked his retreat by bluntly telling him the cold facts.
"You touched me," she told him and, shock of shocks, he actually had nothing to say to that.
She took a moment to stare at him before closing her eyes and gathering her thoughts.
Her temporary breakdown due to the events in the hallway felt like a distant memory as she opened her eyes and met those of the being across the room from her.
She deliberately kept her voice pitched low as she said gently, "Thank you for helping me, Sesshoumaru-Sama."
He blinked at her and she almost smiled, knowing that she had thrown him off again. Golden eyes surreptitiously shifted from the right then to the left before he said, just as softly, "I was merely ensuring that my newest servant did not get herself killed."
Rin smiled, unsurprised by his answer. She shifted so that she could prop her head up on her hand in order to get a better view of the stoic taiyoukai.
"Sesshoumaru-Sama," she said, still maintaining her gentle tone, "I know that I am young, much more so than you who - according to my informative maidservant - are older than me by far more than a century. However, neither that nor the fact that I am human makes me stupid."
She lowered her lashes and brought her other hand up to spread against the black silk of his covers. A moment or two passed while she examined the contrast between her sun kissed hands and the fabric. Another tiny smile touched her lips when she reflected on her adopted father's reaction when he had realized that she had no intention of staying indoors just so she could remain fashionably pale. She had no desire to be a model of Japanese beauty just to be married off to some merchant or lesser noble who wouldn't care to look past her looks and really get to know her.
Extending a finger, she idly began to trace patterns on the black silk as she spoke again, "I knew about you, you know. I didn't know that you were travelling with a human and that that human was Souta-Nii, but I heard about you. Women would whisper in the marketplace about how the leader of the youkai was a monster who took no prisoners and showed no mercy. Grown men, warriors, would brag about how they would be the ones to take your head...only after they were drunk enough to even contemplate doing something so foolish."
Rin stilled her hand and sought out Sesshoumau's eyes once more.
"I know that sometimes people like to tell tales but I also know that many tales have some truth to them. I know that you can be cruel and I think, in fact, that you are also exceptionally selfish, which is why your response doesn't make sense. Why would you rescue me? Especially when we both know that I was close, very close, to doing a lot more than burning the flesh from the bones in that youkai's arm?"
Rin shuddered at the memory and covertly rubbed her hand against the covers. She was positive that she could still feel her assailant's skin on her hands as it blistered before peeling away and disintegrating into ash, which then disappeared as her power consumed it.
"You don't really need to keep me alive and you could have left me in the hallway instead of bringing me to your room." She refrained from adding that he didn't need to cradle her in his arms and comfort her with his touch either, though the words hung in the air between them.
"Tell me, Sesshoumaru-Sama, do you think I am a fool because I do not fear you? Do you wonder how I can be so bold?" Rin took a deep breath and forced her nerves to settle as she waited for his answer.
There was something in the way his eyes moved over her face as he pondered his answer to her question and turned her previous words over in his head. She actually had to remind herself to breath properly because, even now, her heart and body were telling her that she had the undivided attention of a devastatingly handsome male.
Though her mind told her that it was just her youth speaking, she could still feel the imprint of his hands on her and his scent clung to the strands of hair that caressed the sides of her cheeks. The impression he'd left on her told a story about a young woman called Rin and the first time a man had touched that woman-child in a way that was neither impersonal nor brotherly.
"You are an unusual human," she almost missed the quiet words and she blinked, mildly surprised that he had actually said anything since he had been so quiet.
"So, I've been told - though not quite in those words. That's why my adopted father hasn't managed to marry me off, though I came of age two years ago," Rin replied.
"There is bravery and there is stupidity," the taiyoukai said, almost to his self, "You are not stupid, I think, though I will call you more than a little foolish. Has it occurred to you - and I believe I have said this before - that I am not truly obligated to keep you alive?"
"Aren't I just a replacement for Souta?"
He arched a fine silver brow at her and replied coldly, "Your brother is my servant - less than that if I were to be honest. I spared his life and he pledged it to me. He is mine to use how I see fit and you were given into my care by him. I do not have to stay my hand every time you decide that you don't need to curb your tongue."
He kept his eyes trained on hers to ensure that she got his point and she nodded to show that she understood his warning and would keep it in mind in the future. After the not-so-small act of kindness he'd shown her earlier, she felt he'd earned at least a little of her respect.
"I am a monster by both human and youkai standards, never forget that, girl," he warned, "There is more than a little truth in what you have heard from your fellow humans."
There was something feral in the way he spoke that sent chills down her spine and she nodded a second time. Even if she didn't care for him she had the distinct feeling that it was in her best interests to stay on whatever constituted his good side.
Unfortunately, his words struck a chord and she licked her suddenly dry lips as she contemplated voicing a rather disturbing conclusion about herself that she had reaching while she figured out what to say.
A thought - well, it was more like an idea - had begun to form in her head after the disaster in the hall. She had avoided thinking about it too much - the distraction provided by Sesshoumaru's presence and his subsequent treatment of her had kept it firmly in the back of her mind.
However, all this talk of monsters brought her disquieting thoughts rushing to the forefront and she felt her confidence waning. If she squinted hard enough, she could just make out the beginnings of the new lines the taiyoukai was drawing up between them. And while she could see that they had reached an understanding, of sorts, she wondered if she could push his boundaries just a little more - make him willing to listen to her.
Because she hadn't been crying just because she had hurt another living thing - thought that was still a large part of it. No, she had cried because she realized exactly what it meant to have powers like hers.
What she needed, more than anything at the moment, was a friend - someone to talk to. Before the events in the hallway, Rin would never have even considered taking Sesshoumaru into her confidence but if she thought about logically, she was his problem.
She had a feeling that she already had far more access to him than anyone else in his territory. And he had demonstrated two things to her: 1) that he could be kind when he was so inclined and 2) that he seemed to have a vested interest in her well-being.
Her foray into his domain had shown her that she wasn't welcomed by most, so the likelihood of developing a new friendship among his subjects was slim. Besides, whether he liked it or not, he was the only person she could turn to since he had clearly stated that she was under his dominion.
"Do you have nothing else to say?" he asked in his aggravatingly monotone voice, cutting into her thoughts.
Raising her eyes, she took in the sight his beautifully composed face - silently committing his features to memory - and realized that sometime during their interlude on the bed she had already decided that she would take the first step and give him just a bit of her trust.
"Do you know what I was thinking, Sesshoumaru-Sama, after I almost killed that youkai in the hall?" she whispered, her throat constricting with sudden nervousness.
Sesshoumaru shook his head slowly and she took another deep breath. "I," she swallowed, "I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the rush of power I felt when I began purifying him. It felt good, just for second, right before I understood what I was doing. Tell me, Sesshoumaru-Sama, if you are a monster because you kill your enemies without mercy, what am I? That's what I was thinking. I almost took someone's life and enjoyed the act - however temporary that joy was. Doesn't that make me a monster too?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sesshoumaru was taken aback by her words. It had never occurred to him that she might put the use of her powers in such a light. He really had no idea how he could answer her, so he set aside any potential replies - all of which wouldn't answer her question - and took his time to examine Rin.
'What is it about her that is so intriguing,' he asked his self and he allowed his feet to bring the rest of him over to the bed so that he could look down at her directly.
Rin twisted her body until her back met the black sheets of his bed and she lay there with her hair fanning out around her head like a halo, the dark tresses blending in slightly with the dark silk. Her chocolate-colored eyes were partially veiled by her long lashes and they were trained on him…and him alone.
Another woman might have looked provocative in such a position and, truthfully, the picture she painted did rouse his male instincts but what stood out to him the most was how frail she looked.
'Would I call her a monster?'' the taiyoukai asked himself as he guided his eyes away from her face and moved them down to peruse the rest of her.
'Such a tiny little thing,' he mused, recalling how he towered over her when she stood next to him. She still looked lost amidst his bedding.
Golden eyes drifted down to examine her neck. Her throat was pretty, long and slender...crushable. It would take nothing to end her life. Her body was slight but well formed and he didn't doubt that her curves would only become more pronounced the older she got.
Of course, he knew that a person's beauty did not necessarily mean that they were incapable of monstrous behavior. He himself was living proof that death could come wrapped-up in a pretty package and among youkai it was often the most beautiful ones that were the deadliest.
However, no youkai would have reacted the way Rin had once she realized that she was about to kill Hiten. She was soft in a way that few individuals, be they human or youkai, could ever be. For certain she was nothing like the miko he'd come across who would sooner purify him as look at him. All in all, she was thoroughly non-threatening and he would hardly describe her as being a monster, no matter how powerful she was.
Sesshoumaru slowly brought his eyes back to hers, knowing that she was still waiting for him to give her a reply. Leaning down, he deliberately placed a clawed hand on the bed next to her head and waited until she turned her head to look at it.
He felt his hair sliding over his shoulder to mingle with the black strand spread out across his bed as he asked her softly, "Tell me, girl, have you ever eviscerated a man with your bare hands?"
She quickly turned her head to stare at him with wide eyes before breathing out a faint, "no."
"Oh? Then have you taken a sword and dismembered a man? Have you burned villages to the ground? Have you hunted men fleeing from a losing battle and cut them down?"
If possible, her eyes widened even more and she shook her head. He could see her struggling not to ask one simple question: "Have you done those things?"
"I do not have conscience, girl, no, Rin. If our positions had been reversed in that hallway, I would not have stopped myself from killing Hiten. In fact, I was more than ready to kill him myself anyways for overstepping his bounds."
He removed the hand that he'd placed next to her head and held it before his face, flexing his claws to insure that she paid close attention to the fact that he wasn't human.
"I am not the one to speak to about your human insecurities and fears. I cannot relate to you and I would not trust me with your life if I were you. But I can tell you this, I do not lie. You are no more a monster than I am kind. A person must choose his or her own path and I have chosen one soaked in blood."
Rin stared at him for a long time after he'd finished speaking and he figured that perhaps now she could see the futility of viewing him as anything more than her master, and a cold one at that.
He watched through narrow eyes as she brought herself upright and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She visibly swallowed and he suppressed a smirk, thinking that she was, at last, going to show him the proper amount of fear - thus putting a stop to his unnatural bouts of confusion.
However, instead of getting up to leave, as he thought she would, she cautiously reached up to catch the hand he was still holding up before her between her own.
He controlled the reflex that urged him to pull away because she was human and, therefore, not allowed to touch him. Instead - after reminding himself that she needed to understand the insurmountable differences between them - he held himself very still and watched her.
He could feel the calluses on her tiny hands as they explored his own - and they told him that she was the type to work for herself if possible. The taiyoukai didn't blink as she measured the circumference of his wrist with the thumb and forefinger of her right hand - she couldn't quite get them all the way around. He absently wondered how much space would be left over if he measured her dainty wrist with his much longer fingers.
Abandoning his wrist, she brushed both of thumbs over his palm, locating and exploring the calluses left behind by his swordsmanship. She let a small 'hmm' as she rubbed the toughened skin before running a finger up to glide ever so gently over the very tip of his claw.
The enticing scent of her blood reached him just as she winced and pulled her hands away. Apparently, she hadn't been prepared for just how sharp his nails were. She cradled her left hand for a moment before bringing her other hand up once more to cup his.
This garnered an eyebrow raise from him and she responded with a gently disarming smile...right before she brought his hand down and laid her cheek against his palm.
His entire body froze and he couldn't take his eyes away from hers as she asked with unfeigned innocence, "How many people have you killed with this hand?"
Since things had just taken a turn towards the incredibly weird - well, perhaps surreal would be a better word - he found himself answering her without thinking.
"More than I can count."
She made that little 'hmm' sound in the back of her throat again and said, "That's a little scary...but I can't seem to get out of my head the fact that you've used these hands - which are built for killing - so gently on me."
He nearly choked. They'd just spent almost two hours figuring out what to do with each other and their positions - hers in relation to his - and here she was ignoring all of that. He wanted to jerk away but his youki chose that time rear its ugly head and comment on the fact that her cheek was the most astonishingly soft thing he'd ever felt.
He settled for narrowing his eyes at her and saying in a hard voice, "I am not human."
"So you keep reminding me." she replied mildly, her smile still in place.
"Most humans cannot abide youkai," he reminded her, wondering if she had forgotten what the norm was for their two cultures.
"I'm not most humans," she returned.
"You are also a miko," he said.
"No, I'm a girl with the same type of powers as a miko. I am untrained and, therefore, not obligated to fight you nor was I raised to hate you."
"I assumed that we had reached an understanding about your position here," he said, not so subtly reminding her that she had nodded along when he was explaining to her what a monster he was.
Her smile brightened and she said in a pleasant tone, "I agreed, since I figured that you, undoubtedly, know yourself better than anyone else. However, that doesn't mean I'll completely change my personality just for you. I resolved to show you more respect, not pretend to be a coward."
Sesshoumaru stared at Rin, and felt the beginnings of something he had never felt towards another individual: respect.
"I won't tell you how much of a comfort you've been to me these past few hours, since I don't think you're ready to hear that. Well, that and you probably wouldn't believe me if I explained how I came to a number of conclusions about you. But," and she pulled her cheek away before very lightly running the fingers of her right hand over the stripes adorning his wrists, "I am definitely starting to see more and more why my Brother followed you."
"He feared me...as should you," the taiyoukai replied coolly.
She withdrew her hand from his and waved her other one in a dismissive gesture. It effectively reminded him that she was still bleeding and he forced himself not to react to the spicy scent of her blood lest he do something humiliating - like catch her hand and lick it clean.
Thankfully, she stopped waving her hand about almost as soon as she'd begun and blushed instead.
"Ah, I'm sorry, I was being disrespectful just now," she said.
He tilted his head to the side in inquiry and it was a testament to how observant she was because she correctly interpreted his gesture and replied by way of explanation, "Well, I did say that going to try to be more respectful."
"Is it not a bit abrupt to decide that?" he queried.
"Call it an even trade for your promise to be honest with me," she said with a grin.
"I've no need to lie to you," he stated matter-of-factly.
"Of course, but I'm still grateful to you for being honest," her grin slipped and a shadow crept into her vibrant eyes as she continued in a quieter tone, "you have no idea just how often human lie to one another and how much it means to me for at least one person to tell me the truth."
There it was again, that faint hint of darkness in her demeanor that spoke of sadness and far more frustration than someone her age should have harbored.
Sesshoumaru felt that faint fluttering deep in the pit of his stomach that told him that she was having an effect on him again. He was in danger of doing something foolish for the umpteenth time that day, so he did the only thing he could.
Slowly, he extricated himself from her hand and looked away from her soulful eyes.
"This has gone on for too long," he said, "It is time you left."
"Oh," she said, and he felt rather than saw her turn to look at the windows in his chamber. The sun has set a while ago and he could make out the sound of crickets chirping far below his window.
"I didn't realize it was so late. Forgive me, Sesshoumaru-Sama," Rin said hastily, giving him a quick bow before turning and heading for the door.
"This conversing between us..." his monotone voice stopped her right at the door and she turned back towards him to indicate that he had her undivided attention.
"...this...interlude will not happen again," he needed more than anything to make it clear that he was not the sort to sit down and talk with her over mundane matters.
He didn't think he'd said anything funny but the smile she bestowed upon him was equal parts amused and soft - almost fond - in nature.
"I realize that, Sesshoumaru-Sama, which is why I got in as much as I could. I said it before and I'll say it again, you aren't ready to hear everything I have to say."
With that, she bowed again and made her exit, gently closing the door behind her.
He stared at it a long moment before it was slid back once again and Rin poked her head through to give him a semi-stern look.
"There's more thing I have to say before I watch you put up a new wall between the two of us. I'm glad you're going be honest with me but sometimes it's even more important to be honest with yourself." And with that cryptic remark, which was unbefitting someone so young, she retracted her head and closed the door once more.
As he listened to her footsteps moving away from his door, he sat down on the edge of his bed and reached up to rub the bridge of his nose. It had been a long confusing day and he was ready for it to over.
'I need to find someone to train her, first thing tomorrow,' he thought wearily. He didn't think he could take another day spent almost entirely in the company of one troublesome, infuriating...and utterly fascinating human girl, named Rin.
She made him act like a completely different person and, more than ever, he knew he needed to keep his distance. Letting out a sigh, he rubbed his finger over his lips in consternation.
The gesture brought the scent of her blood to him and he stared at the tiny speck of crimson on the very tip on his claw where Rin had cut herself.
His youki perked right up and urged him to have a little taste but he resisted, telling himself that it would just as base for him to give into his instinct to lick it off as it had been for him to wag his tail.
Still, it taunted him, that tiny fleck of red and he stared out of his window at the myriad of stars winking back at him as if they could give him an answer to his dilemma.
'False, hope,' he thought to himself before letting out his deepest sigh yet and bringing his finger to his mouth.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hope ya'll liked. Not too much romance just yet but Sessy-darling is going to fall and fall hard before I'm through with him. Mwahahaha. Anyway, please let me know what you think and how I can improve.