The sky had begun to darken by the time the helicopter touched down in the lee of a stone outcropping. Gordon felt the shock of the cold air hitting his lungs as he emerged from the hold and stretched, along with Barney and the others. He'd always wanted to see the tundra; the midnight sun and the Northern Lights. But he was hardly a tourist, and these were not the circumstances he had imagined. Alyx and Angelique vanished off to one side, and the male rebels formed a line facing the rocks and began to pee. Gordon turned away and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed, but also slightly excluded from the male bonding. He suspected the HEV suit collected his own urine and used it as a raw material for the compounds it then injected back into him. Fascinating, but kind of gross if you thought about it too much.
Barney gave a sigh of relief and made his way back over.
"Jesus, it's cold!" he announced, and began breaking open the bale of winter camouflage clothing. The squad donned salopet-style pants and padded, hooded coats. Gordon's body felt comfortable, but his ears were starting to glow with the cold, so he pulled on a hat. The supplies were distributed, and they took five minutes to check their weapons, and to eat something. Gordon was carrying an AR2, which was secretly his favourite despite the way it burned through ammunition and was woefully inaccurate. An alien plasma rifle that used dark energy technology was just cool on so many levels; and he liked the noise it made as well. He realised, however, that he had no idea how to check his weapon, or any of the others, so instead he wandered over to where Alyx was perched on her rucksack. He thought she looked very cute with the ruff of fur on the edge of her hood surrounding her face. She was holding what looked like some sort of protein or energy bar, turning it over and over in her hands as though deciding whether or not to open it; but she was gazing blankly out into the dusk. She looked up as she saw him coming though, and the expression on her face was replaced with a smile.
"You know what?" she said, "I'll eat it later," and she pocketed the bar. He opened his mouth to suggest she should maybe eat it now, keep her strength up, but then he checked himself. She had been in this situation hundreds of times before, whereas he didn't even know how to check his rifle. He was still slightly in awe of her grace under pressure, her fearlessness and her general kick-ass-ness; the last thing he wanted to do was patronize her. She kissed him before he could say anything anyway, and tugged at his arm. "Come sit with me."
He sat next to her with his feet tucked under him, her arm around his waist, and cautiously put his arm around her shoulder. He felt a tinge of sadness as Alyx sighed and leaned into him. He hoped she was enjoying the embrace; because it was doing nothing for him, besides making him nervous that he might hurt her with the hard or sharp edges of his suit.
Still, it hardly mattered, as there wasn't going to be much time to sit around hugging. They covered the helicopter with a big white tarpaulin, tethered it to the ground, and set off. Either the helicopter would remain undetected, or it wouldn't; there was no sense in worrying, when they didn't even know if they would be coming back.
Gordon suddenly realised he hadn't thought like that for a while. Coming back. At Black Mesa he'd fought his way to the surface and then gone to Xen with the idea that if he succeeded, then he would be able to return to friends, family, a world he understood. But he had been swiftly disabused of that notion shortly after waking up in City 17, and throughout those days he had felt a mindless, exhausting, almost nihilistic sense of continuously moving forward with no end in sight. His only goals had been to find out what the hell had happened while he'd been away, and maybe to survive. In that order. Now, though, he once again had things to come back to; and even though it made the thought of fighting the Combine scarier, Gordon thought that he was better that way.
They moved out in a big V shape, with Barney at the point, and Gordon at the far end of one of the arms. When Gordon looked up, he saw that their formation was mirrored by a flock of large pale bird-like creatures, migrating across the sky like manta rays. With the sun just below the horizon, the landscape was bathed in a dim grey glow, almost as if the snow was lit from beneath. The sky was deep navy, and the first stars were visible. Gordon could see the white plumes of his breath rising into the sky, and he felt very alive, surrounded by a kind of harsh beauty. He turned to look back at the helicopter, and it was already barely visible. The only sound was the creak of snow under their feet as they walked.
An indistinct shape, dirty white against the brilliant white of the snow. He only saw it for a second, long enough to draw his attention. Then it vanished, but another one appeared, much closer, and it leapt on Angelique and bore her to the ground. He quickly pulled up the grav gun and sent it flying a few feet away into a snowdrift; then followed, raising his rifle, but she was faster than he was. He heard isolated gunshots as other members of the squad fought off their attackers, saw Alyx shoot one at point-blank range, Barney muttering curses under his breath as he kicked out and then stamped. Gordon fired at a couple, but he kept missing. They were so indistinct against the snow.
The rest of the pack regrouped and ran, seeming to conclude that their prey wasn't worth the pain. Gordon stopped to examine one of the creatures. It was built along typical Xenian lines, with two legs at the front and one at the back, but unlike most of the things he'd seen at Black Mesa, it was furry. The fur was thicker at the neck and shoulders, and along the back, and it was coloured like a husky dog. The face was flat and appeared to be all mouth, which contained a ring of viciously sharp teeth, the kind of thing you saw on a shark or a Moray eel. Alyx, Barney and the others hadn't seemed too surprised by the creatures. Apparently the Xen fauna had expanded to most types of terrain while he'd been away.
Turning back, Gordon thought he saw movement out to his left. A deep shadow resolved itself into the Grey Man standing in the distance, seemingly unaffected by the cold as he stood there, relaxed in his business attire, watching Gordon. Before Gordon could take more than a few steps towards him, he casually lifted his briefcase and strolled behind a stone pillar with the air of a man who had just completed an essential yet ultimately minor errand, such as mailing a letter. Gordon frowned. Had it just been a shadow after all? He didn't suppose it mattered either way. Many times he'd tried to follow the Grey Man, but he hadn't caught up with him once.
"Hey Gordon! You gotta hold your position." Barney's voice was surprisingly faint, and Gordon turned to see that the rest of the squad had already come close to reaching the top of the next ridge. He ran on a diagonal to make up the distance he'd lost. There was a crunching, cracking sound, and he just had time to realize that his foot had broken through ice as he tripped and fell forwards. He landed heavily on all fours and felt the ice give way, and he yelped with the shock of the cold as he sank into the dark water of the frozen pond beneath. His helmet sealed across automatically as soon as he hit water, and he tried to strike out for the surface, but the cold was numbing, and he couldn't tell if the movement of his arms and legs was in any way coordinated, or even if they were moving at all. One thing his suit didn't manufacture was oxygen, and he soon began to grey out. Red flashes appeared at the edges of his vision. His lungs were agony.
Gordon saw light ahead of him. He initially thought it was the fabled tunnel, but then he realised he was surfacing. The next moment he felt himself being lifted beneath the armpits and dragged back onto the ice. Opening his eyes, he blurrily saw Barney and Lars bending over him, staring back. He opened his mouth to take a breath, but his chest and throat were so tight with the cold that for a moment he thought he wouldn't be able to manage it, and his thoughts raced with panic. Eventually he inhaled, a big whooping breath, and he saw Barney's face relax and move away. On his other side, Lars knelt down and opened his pack. He could feel someone squeezing his hand through his thick gloves, and he heard a voice, murmuring Gordon, thank God, you're ok, Gordon. He realised that both of these must be Alyx.
Gordon lay on the ground, still gasping, his thoughts gradually clarifying. He turned his head slightly, and he could see Barney walking away from him, towards the others. From his vantage point on the ground he noticed that Barney was still wearing his heavy CP boots. Jarrod came up to Barney, the cheerful grin on his face at odds with the flat look in his eyes. Tim and Angelique were sitting a little off to one side, watching what was happening with the air of people expecting a confrontation.
"So that's the Opener of the Way, huh?" he said with a forced lightheartedness. Gordon couldn't tell if Jarrod thought he was still unconscious, or if he just didn't care.
"Jarrod, you weren't at Black Mesa and you weren't in City 17. Now let's leave it at that." Barney's voice was devoid of its usual expressiveness. Gordon knew that was a sign he was controlling his anger. He had only heard it a few times.
"No, I wasn't in City 17. I was busy fighting my way up through Italy, cause the railroad put the call out for a pilot. Then when I get here, all I find is everyone's losing their heads over… this guy."
"You know why Eli wanted him. The Vorts…"
"Oh my God, not the mystical bloody Vortigaunts"
"My dad believed in what they had to say." Alyx's voice was ominously quiet.
Jarrod ignored her. "Look, Calhoun, I respect you, and I know he's your friend, but this guy… I mean he's probably ok, but he doesn't belong in the field. He can't even hold position. He's a lab nerd. He just got lucky with the suit, is all. Anyone could do what he does, if they had one."
"Look, Matthews." Barney stepped forwards, so that they were directly face to face. Gordon could feel Alyx squeezing his hand tighter and tighter. But then all the fight seemed to go out of Barney, and he looked tired. "I agree with you. And I think Gordon would too. He should be in the lab. But, somehow, he kicks ass in spite of himself. Now go get your damn compass and find us the Borealis, ok?"
Gordon felt embarrassed and strangely touched. He tried to sit up, but he found that the water had frozen into sheets of ice, preventing movement between the plates of his armour. He began snapping it off. Alyx joined in, and they made it into a little game. Barney came over, saw what they were doing and chuckled.
"Like trying to start an old car on a frosty morning." Jarrod overheard him, snorted disdainfully. "Oh come on, man, it's pretty funny!"
"Yes, yes it is kind of funny. It's not a quality I look for in a leader though."
Gordon brushed off the last of the ice and got to his feet.
"I'm not the leader," he said quietly, pointing at Barney and Alyx. "They are." He moved very pointedly into position, and waited for the rest of the V-shape to reform ahead of him. He could feel his cheeks burning. In a way it was refreshing to meet someone who didn't see him as some sort of new messiah, and he certainly shared the pilot's assessment of his combat abilities; but the idea that it might seem to some people that he wanted adulation, or even power, made him cringe inside.
They set off again. Gordon felt more subdued this time. He could hear Tim and Angelique up ahead, talking under their breath as they moved up the slope.
"I was in City 17; I thought he was awesome." Tim sounded nervous but determined to make his point.
"Aye, so was I, but I was with the lot that burned down the CP barracks; we didn't get too near the Citadel. I've heard he was a right wee rocket though."
"Do you believe the whole, you know… thing?" Gordon frowned. He knew he wasn't the best when it came to verbal fluency, but still, way to be nonspecific, Tim.
Before she could reply, a crackling sound filled the air above them, and the Northern lights appeared, green and orange and pink, rippling through the sky. They all stared upwards for a moment, transfixed. Alyx smiled at the look of awe he knew had appeared on his face, and he grinned back, thrilled by the experience. He had found physics beautiful from a young age, but he'd soon learned that only a few people, people who shared both his high degree of theoretical training and his very visual imagination, were capable of appreciating the things that he would try to describe. It was one of the reasons he'd grown so close to Dr Kleiner. But this was a beautiful phenomenon of particles and forces that didn't need imagining, because it was all around him. He couldn't keep the grin off his face as he wandered through the monochrome landscape suddenly rendered vivid with colour. The Aurora above him was reflected in the snow below, delicate pink and vivid green and red.
Red? He just had time to think that the colour was wrong, it was dull and baleful, when suddenly Tim vanished. The snow where he had been standing was smeared with blood, streaked with charred material; and Gordon's ears were ringing. As the sound died away he heard the crackle of voices distorted by masks and transceivers, and the clink as another grenade hit the ground. Then they were running, and as they crested the hill he saw a plain spread below him, with a ship sitting incongruously on its side in the snow, surrounded by floodlights and tracked vehicles. Off slightly to one side were a series of containers and prefab buildings, linked together to form a small compound protected by the familiar blue forcefields. And swarming out of the buildings and up the hill towards them came the Combine.
The rest of the squad spread out as they ran towards their objective, but Gordon cut across the group and headed for Alyx as quickly as possible. Screw the formation; the only position he was going to hold was in between her and any Combine bullets that were coming her way. As he ran he raised the grav gun and punted a grenade that had landed in front of him. It flew back into the air, accompanied by a spray of snow that the energy blast had dislodged from around it, and exploded in midair between two approaching soldiers. He heard their digitized death rattles as they fell to the ground, the blue lights that persisted in their eye sockets reflecting eerily from the snow.
"Way to go, Doc!" Barney yelled, and Gordon frowned. He didn't like it when Barney called him that; as he'd once tried to explain, it wasn't as if he went around calling Barney "Officer Calhoun."
Still, now was hardly the time to complain. He made it to Alyx's side and took his stand, firing at any soldiers who got too close, trying to keep an eye on Barney as well as Alyx. The landscape was lit by muzzle flash and explosions and the alien glow of the Aurora. He heard screams, but before he could turn to see who it was, he noticed a small detachment of Combine making their way towards a black metal device, planted upwards in the snow. Gordon had no idea what it was, but if it was important to the Combine then it was probably bad news for them, so he took aim, but his shots went wide.
"Try using both hands, you might actually hit something." Jarrod had apparently also spotted the black object, but before either of them could prevent it, the soldiers reached their destination, and a flare was sent arcing into the night sky. He heard Barney spitting curses as his friend came running over.
"Gordon! Go with Alyx to the ship and do what you gotta do. We're gonna try and take their base; we should be able to hold off the reinforcements a lot easier from there." Then he was off again, charging for the nearest container with Jarrod following behind. Barney was whirling his forearm above his head, in the gesture that meant "to me." Gordon had seen it many times before during combat, and he wondered if the Combine appreciated the fact that so much of the training they had given Barney was now being used against them.
Gordon and Alyx hurled themselves across the plain towards the Borealis. The ship itself looked relatively structurally intact, but the dry dock had evidently been part of a much larger building, and it was open at both ends where it had literally been torn away. The room at the nearest end had once been an office, and while the exposure to the elements had not treated it well, it still looked like shelter. They made for it, but some Combine soldiers, aware of their intentions, moved to block their path. Alyx was slightly in the lead, and she took care of two of them, but the third stayed out of her line of fire and raised his rifle. Gordon felt a bolt of terror as he saw the soldier take aim. He was normally as quiet in combat as he was in other areas of his life, but the sight of the soldier about to fire on Alyx galvanized him, and he took a deep breath as he ran forwards, his voice high and hoarse with the cold.
"HEY! Hey you dumb fucker! You've got the One Free Man here and you're not even shooting at me! I mean what is wrong with you, you, you…" Gordon wished he had Barney's extensively abusive vocabulary. His voice had begun to tail off gradually as he ran out of insults, and fell silent altogether when he noticed that he'd also run out of ammo. As the soldier turned to him he flailed for a moment, but then his fingers gripped the crowbar and he swung it, letting his momentum carry him forwards, and he felled him with a single blow. "… You foolish individual," he finished quietly, suddenly embarrassed. More blood on the snow, mixed with thicker, slightly gooey looking stuff, as well as the occasional electronic component. All at once, he felt sick. He had killed so many of the Combine, but sometimes his reaction still took him by surprise. He took the machine gun from the dead soldier, then tore his gaze away and turned to Alyx. She just looked impressed, and he was glad.
They entered the dry dock, and it was surreal to be suddenly walking on carpet after the snow. There was a door on the other side of the office that was unlocked when Gordon tried it, so they moved quickly through and closed it behind them, muffling the sound of the battle that was still going on. He looked around for some means of sealing the door behind them, and adopted the high-tech solution of wedging the back of a chair under the handle. It wouldn't keep their pursuers out for long, but it might at least give them some warning. They took a moment to catch their breath. Alyx soon looked calm once more, but he sensed that she was steeling herself for something, or else holding intense emotion in check. When he looked up, he thought he saw why. They were in a long pale corridor, with windows on either side and dull fluorescent lights above. It was the place where Judith had been taken, and he knew that the prospect of facing Hunters again terrified her. He caught her eye, his expression questioning, but she nodded.
"I'm fine," she said quietly, and made to set off, but then she turned her gaze back to him, with one eyebrow raised and a slight grin on her face. "You foolish individual?"
A/N - a rocket is a Glaswegian word for a petty criminal or vandal who's always being followed by the police. Inspired by my friend who described the Freeman as a rocket for smashing a crate while being pursued by the cops at the start of HL2 for the first time - it cracked me up ;D