Shades of Gray
(the THIRD AND FINAL companion to "No Better Mistake" and "Finding Home")
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, or any other related characters from the world of Harry Potter. I also don't own the setting, plot lines, relationships, etc. ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH HARRY POTTER BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING, not me.
NOTES:
I'll put 'em at the bottom.
Also, I'm not saying this chapter is MATURE, but it's not... G.
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2
"Fuck—are you kidding me?" Sirius growled angrily, an hour later, at the sound of their doorbell chime. Reluctantly, he disentangled himself from Remus and their position on the living room chair, snatching up his t-shirt and flannel from the floor and pulling them on.
"You're the one who wanted to have this party, Sirius!" Remus reminded him, laughing, quickly puling his own cardigan back over his shirt and raising a hand to flatten his hair. Sirius shot him a dirty look, crossing the room to the front door and re-adjusting his belt.
"I'm sure it's only Lily and James, anyway, they've got to be first—"
"Hello!" Lily said happily as Sirius flung the door open, but stopped at the disgruntled look on his face. In her green dress, precisely the same shade as her eyes, she looked significantly better off than the man at the door, whose flannel shirt hung crookedly on his shoulders. "Are we interrupting something?"
"Oh, nothing that can't wait until after we're all gone, love," James scoffed, nudging in her in with a gentle hand. He, too, looked much less shabby – rich parents, and the prospect of a soon-to-be marriage had smartened up him quite a bit. "Hurry up and shut the door, Padfoot, it's bloody cold out there."
"Hello," said Sirius grumpily, quickly closing the door behind their two best friends, "half a fucking hour early, James, honestly…"
"Oh, hush," Lily scolded him, making her way over to Remus, who stood to give her a hug. "Remus looks happy to see us at least…"
"He should look happy," muttered Sirius, "He was the one who—" but James held up a hand to stop him. Lily made a face, but seemed to be suppressing a giggle.
"We've brought Christmas treats, look…"
Sirius was cheered considerably by the appearance of Lily's cookies, and as he took a handful, he sat down on their couch beside James, who quickly resumed his tormenting.
It was only a matter of minutes before the rest of their guests began arriving – a few of their old friends from Hogwarts, all of James' Quidditch pals, Sirius' friend Kevin, and his girlfriend Nicole, from the Ministry… even Remus' friend, Matt, had come around to visit, though Remus had seen significantly less of him ever since he and Sirius had nearly split up. However, he greeted both the boys warmly (it was only slightly awkward), shaking Sirius' hand and joining the already arrived guests.
It was amazing how, with only a few dozen people, the home seemed to fill up so quickly. It was, of course, a very small, and quite old place, but the cheery decorations, laughter, and potluck of food present from every person made the shabby furniture and chipped china seem non-existent. The room was filled with the jovial sounds from Sirius' record player, laughter, and comfortable chatter. Remus had been quite right about the "groceries" Sirius had procured – soon, there was a fair amount of alcohol changing from hand to hand, but it was all in good fun and Christmas cheer (and only a little bit of drunkenness). Sirius was delighted as every new caller complimented his rainbow of Christmas lights, and James entertained them all with his ever-popular trick of transfiguring their coffee table into a goat, and back again. With him, along with Lily, who had thankfully had the good sense to charm all of the dishes into refilling themselves, it all made out to be a lovely party. It seemed all too soon that everyone was pulling themselves off of chairs and gathering their coats up again, bidding everyone a very nice, though, rather tipsy, holiday. Nearly everyone had left when Matt made his way back over to Remus, pressing into his hand a thick, uncovered bundle of papers, bound loosely together.
"My book," he said simply. He was laughing slightly; pushing back the springy, chestnut curls falling slightly over his eyes with a hand. "I finally finished it. Or… the rough copy, at least."
"I can't wait to read it," Remus responded with a smile, and with a final handshake and a nod toward Sirius, Matt, along with the very last stragglers, left out the front door to Apparate homeward. Sirius shut the front door with a sigh, though he, too, was smiling.
"Did you have fun?" Remus asked him from his seat on one of the bottom steps, and Sirius nodded, still beaming. Edging his way through a few discarded decorations, he stopped in front of his friend, extending a hand downward to pull him to his feet.
"Not as much fun as we're about to have…" he said rather wickedly, and Remus, in spite of his better sense, laughed.
"Oh, yes… Where were we again?" he asked in mock puzzlement, tilting his head slightly, and Sirius pulled him even closer, looping his fingers through belt loops on either side so that their hips were barely an inch apart.
"About…" Sirius lowered his face, so that their foreheads touched, his lips already beginning to brush against Remus'. Remus could feel his breath on his face… he smelled, just slightly, of liquor. "Here…" and with that, he kissed him, taking, between his full lips, one of Remus'; his mouth already beginning to open slightly as he bit down gently. Remus chuckled into the liplock, but already, Sirius was holding him up, so that he was half-carried, half-walked all the way up the old, wooden steps. There were no doors at the top of the flight, which was quite fortunate, as Remus only had a few more steps to stumble backwards until he felt his knees meet the mattress. He, and Sirius, fell onto their rumpled bed in a pile of quickly disappearing clothing – Remus felt himself lift up his hips slightly so Sirius could pull off his jeans, his own hands attempting, blindly, to unbutton Sirius' shirt, as his eyes were shut in the heat of it all. Sirius pressing his own pelvis against Remus', both clad now in only cotton boxers, which did nothing to decrease the sensation; their chests slipping against one another's.
The difference between the current, and last year's encounter was stunning – Remus didn't think he could ever forget the gentle way in which Sirius had ensured that he was comfortable, and ready, but he was not sorry that he wasn't acting that way at the present moment. The passion Sirius exuded prevented Remus from ever wanting anything different; he was, in typical fashion, not at all shy, and very much vocal about his feelings. He groaned in ways that would have made Remus red with embarrassment if he had not felt quite the same way himself; his mouth and tongue flicked in ways and places that, without the intensity of their relationship, Remus would have scarcely dared to imagine. It was nearing freezing temperatures in the lofty space of their bedroom, and both boys were simultaneously sweating, and shivering, but neither felt the chill of outside. They were too absorbed in one another, their hands, roaming across the heat of skin, to bother about anything else…
And so, it was with much moaning and heat that Sirius and Remus made their way into the wee hours of Christmas morning, blissfully alone in the quiet of their rickety house. They both agreed, later, that while it couldn't compare to the year before, it had certainly come close – just like then, Sirius had pulled himself out of bed as they both edged closer to sleep, shaking slightly in the cold of the night as he opened one of their bedroom windows and pulled, from his dresser top, a crumpled pack of cigarettes.
Picking himself up from their bed, Remus joined him to where he sat on the floor, wrapping both his legs and their blankets around the naked form of Sirius, his chin pressed against the still clammy shoulder of the older boy. They sat in silence as Sirius lit and inhaled, both wordlessly admiring the view before them. It had begun to snow, again, and the flurries settled delicately and soundlessly down on the field below them; their trees holding snow in their branches like so many delicate flowers. The full moon would occur in a few days, and for right then, it was clear and bright on the still night; shining across the smooth, white ground like it was made of diamonds. The sight of Sirius' dark face and hair was, to Remus, the perfect contrast – the lit end of his cigarette dangling slightly out the window as he flicked the ashes downward with one thin finger. As much as Remus protested against Sirius' smoking during the day, the night changed it somewhat for him – even the smell was different, and mixed with their own sweat and sex it seemed almost delicious, better than any cologne. Sirius, with one hand grasping Remus', was smiling sleepily; and soon enough, he shut the window on the white night, guiding his extremely drowsy boyfriend back into their bed.
They curled into bed, facing one another. Remus couldn't keep his eyes open – every time he tried, Sirius' face, so close to his own, swam before him so much he had to shut them again; his body sore and exhausted from the efforts he'd exerted. He did, however, muster a smile as he felt Sirius kiss him once more, wriggling himself in close to him to hear his heartbeat already beginning to slow with sleep.
"Merry Christmas," Sirius whispered to him; the last thing he heard and thought of just before succumbing to dreams.
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I don't know why, but I love that end scene... happy with how it turned out. It's nice to write happy things for once!
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