Ed woke up early the next morning; earlier then usual. He rolled over and looked at the clock. A big 2:45 showed on the screen. He tossed and turned, trying to get back to sleep. He finally just got up and decided to get some fresh air. Carefully as the not wake Roy, who was sleeping peacefully next to him, he got up and went out to the patio outside.

When he walked out to the patio the night sky was pitch black and speckled with stars. 'Funny they're the same stars I see all the time yet they look so different right now.' Ed thought. His eyes drifted closed and the breeze blew, cooling him down. A single tear trailed down his face and onto the wood of the patio.

There was a creak behind him and he whirled around to look at the source of the sound. There stood his now human brother Alphonse. He had a worried expression on his face. Ed put a smile on his face. It hurt so much to smile now because they were fake, they always had been but now he had to lie to his brother more then anyone. 'Pathetic, I'm sure he can tell that it is fake. Everyone can but he could always tell whether my smiles were fake or real.' Ed scolded himself mentally.

Al could tell something was troubling his brother but past it off as lack of sleep and the recovery of the auto mail surgery. He shrugged and told Ed that he was getting water and saw him out here.

"I just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong with you brother." Al told his brother.

Ed had to smile at that. Al reminded him so much of their dead mother. He looked a lot like her which only made it harder sometimes. Every time Ed looked at Al now, he saw both of his failures; His mother and his brother. Sure he had gotten Al's body back but that doesn't change what he did. In the instance that he did that he had failed both of them. When he looked at Al now he could really see Al for the first time.

His brown eyes were so much like their mothers; both of them were wide and kind. They looked innocent and naïve but in the safe instant they were caring and you could feel safe when you looked in those eyes. Ed had his father's eyes but he had acquired his gleam a different way yet the same as his father. Both his and his father's eyes were gold and they both had a wise and cautious look in them. If you looked in their eyes you could tell that they were smart and were very cautious and distrusting; always scanning for danger and error. Ed inwardly cringed at these thoughts. 'Are we all part of the same family? How can someone this kind and innocent be related to someone like me?

Ed, wearing the fake smile, walked over the Alphonse and ruffled his hair lovingly. Al laughed and there was once again a pang of guilt and doubt in Ed's heart. Al's laugh sounded so child-like and innocent. Now that Ed thought about it when; was the last time that Ed himself had laughed or smiled for real. He couldn't remember the last time since there family had fallen apart all those years ago.

"Yeah I'm fine Al just a little restless is all nothing to worry about. Go back to bed you look tired." Ed told him.

As if on cue Al yawned. He blushed embarrassingly and Ed just chuckled. 'Yep, he's still just a kid after all.' Al told his brother that he was going to head back up to bed and Ed just smiled and nodded at him. Once Al was gone another tear slid down Ed's face, burning a trail down his face. 'Why? Why does everyone who has to meet me have to suffer so much? Why is it always because of me that they are all hurt? They will just be hurt once again when I leave but at least then they won't have to suffer anymore because of me.' Ed thought to himself; but then another thought struck him. 'What about Roy? He will only be hurt worse when I leave and even more for the rest of his life. And what about Al? When am I going to tell him about any of this?'

All of these thoughts ran through Ed's head and started to pile on to others. Ed grabbed his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to throw out the thoughts. He knew he couldn't be weak, especially not now; not when he needed to be strong the most not just for the others but for himself as well. A spasm of pain ran through Ed's body and he collapsed on the ground. It was painful to breathe and his whole body was shaking. Ed willed his body to move but it wouldn't listen. He cursed his body's betrayal. His eyes had slipped shut and they wouldn't open. His breaths were coming out in short and painful gasps. Everything was black and numb. All of his senses had faded for a second and he felt a dramatic sense of déjà vu. 'Just like going into and out of the gate.' He thought bitterly as he identified the feeling.

The feeling faded and he could breathe regularly once again his sense returned. He was still shaking a he was sweating. A breeze blew and he shivered intensely. His body still ached but it didn't hurt nearly as much. His head was pounding and his eyes were heavy. He decided to go and try to sleep and walked into the house. When he arrived at Roy and his shared room he opened the door once again not wanting to awaken his lover. But once he opened the door fully he just stared. Roy was there, awake and waiting for him.

Roy looked up at the sound of the door being opened and looked to see Ed. He didn't look well at all but he would wait before he said anything. He smiled lovingly at Ed.

" I didn't know if you wanted to be alone or not so I decided to stay here. Come on it's late and you look like you need sleep. I know you didn't sleep any but still try." He said lovingly.

All Ed could do was stare at Roy. 'Wait does that mean he waited for me to return? He was awake and waiting for me all this time?' Ed thought to himself incredulously. Roy, as if reading Ed's mine, nodded. Ed smiled at Roy and walked towards the bed. Roy welcomed him in open arms and covered them both. Once Ed's head hit the pillow he feel into a deep slumber.

Roy stared down at his sleeping lover and frowned. Ed's body was clammy and shaking. Roy tightened his grip on Ed's waist and pulled the covers up higher over him. He knew that Ed had wanted to set out his thoughts is the only reason Roy hadn't followed him; but there was a nagging feeling in the back of his head that was telling him that something had happened; something important that he had missed. He laid his head down and slept. After all in a few hours they were going to tell everyone the truth; about everything. Maybe then Roy would find out what he had missed.