Twilight: Truth or Dare: Episode 9
RATING: T for mild language and violence and whatnot
WARNING: I do not own Twilight… obviously
EMILY: *smiles* Good morning Cullens, Quileutes, Volturi!
BELLA: I see you're in an unusually pleasant mood today. Who'd you abduct this time?
EMILY: Very funny. If you must now, I've recent found out I'll be getting my braces off in about a week! And as soon as that happens I'm going to send Alec on a shopping errand in order to celebrate with more gum and soda than I've ever had in my entire life. Oh, and an apple, like Barbossa! Except mine will probably have caramel on it, and possibly look like Mickey's pants if I manage to get a hold of one like the ones I saw at Disneyland.
JACOB: *just as grumpy as the director is happy* That's great for you.
EMILY: What do you know? You can at least pretend to be happy for me. And hey, I see Alec found you a wig! Nice look.
ESME: I went with him to help pick it out. And I'll never forgive you for this.
EMILY: Hey, don't look at me! Bella did it.
ESME: You made her.
EMILY: *holds hands up innocently* But the review made me! You know I don't call the shots; the viewers make the rules.
EMMETT: Yeah right.
SAM: That's never stopped you before.
EMILY: Okay, you got me. But I still deny having any responsibility for anything that happens. Of course, in the case of a compliment, I'll take credit.
CARLISLE: Credit, but not responsibility. Typical fan fiction writer.
EMILY: …Right. In any case, I refuse to let your melodramatic blabbering ruin my good mood. First one's from Eeddwwaarrddiloveya:
I dare Jacob to walk to mikes N.'s place and french kiss Mike Newton And then yell "I love ya Mike its ok to be gay!"
For truth I want to know whos your fav. jersy shore characeter!
JACOB: You've got to be kidding me. I am not gay!
EDWARD: Sure you aren't.
JACOB: Piss off, Frenchy.
EDWARD: Hey, watch it!
JACOB: But if I must… I suppose it would be nice to mess with little Mike's mind.
EDWARD: Suuure…
JACOB: Say that one more time and the Grease insults will keep coming. *leaves to do his dare*
BELLA: But how does he even know where Mike lives?
ARO: And how do you know he'll do it?
SAM: If he's smart he'll run away.
EMILY: Remember my Bag of Doom? One of the many things in it is a Magic Mirror of Doom, which is hooked up to hidden cameras all over the world.
ALICE: Why is everything 'of doom' with you?
EMILY: Oh, don't even get me started on that list! There's my Miracle Brush of Doom, my Bora Bora Chapstick of Doom, my Jarjar Binks Band Aid of Doom, my Kingdom Hearts Video Game of Doom, my…
ROSALIE: Okay, we get the idea.
EMILY: I rest my case.
DEMETRI: Although I don't think any of us actually know what point you were trying to prove.
EMILY: Shut up. Paul, I think the truth was directed at you.
PAUL: How should I know? As I said before, I don't watch that show, so I have no way of knowing who the characters are. But now that you mention, there is this one Sammi girl who's kinda cute… who I wouldn't even know was on the show except that I heard about it from, uh, a friend and just happened to look up a picture. Just, you know, out of curiosity. But! I'm imprinted on Rachel, so it's not like that means anything, even if I did watch the show. Which I don't.
COLLIN: Aren't we glad that's cleared up.
EMILY: I guess I'll read the next one while we wait for Jacob to get back. This is by LaughterIsLife:
Hola Emily, bloodsuckers, and wolves.
Right Paul no secret obsession...I'm pretty sure you want to get with Sammi Sweetheart...anyway this time I dare Emmett , Sam, and Paul to dress up as Alice and Rosalie see fit to dance around the studio singing I Can't Be Tamed by Miley Cyrus. For truth, I was wondering, Embry, do you have a sick obsession with Ke$ha?
This keeps getting better!
PAUL: *whistling idly*
ALICE AND ROSALIE: But—
EMILY: Emmett, Sam, Paul: you have the next half an hour to race to the Cullen's house, change into Alice and Rosalie's clothes, and be back to model for us preferably before Jacob gets-
JACOB: *walks back in*
EMMETT: Good timing. Did you do it?
EMILY: Let's find out!
The director pulls out her Magic Mirror of Doom and somehow gets it to play back what happened at Mike's.
Instant Replay
MIKE: *opens the door* Hello?
JACOB: *starts French kissing Mike seemingly out of nowhere*
MIKE: *passes out*
JACOB: *while leaving* "I love ya Mike, it's okay to be gay!"
Instant Replay Fin
EMBRY: I guess he did it.
BELLA: Wow, Jake. It's like I don't even know you anymore.
JACOB: But it was just a dare!
EMILY: Alright, boys, your half an hour starts now. Then I start looking for my bazooka, because I know it has to be around here somewhere, and I've already searched the entire set twice…
DARE VICTIMS: Roger, roger!
A little less than a half hour later…
EMBRY: …and I don't see why you should even accuse me of that. I mean, who doesn't like her music? It's catchy.
QUIL: You have a TiK ToK loop set as your alarm clock.
EMBRY: Like that's supposed to prove anything!
Suddenly the doors burst open and in run the Miley Cyrus Brigade, dressed in clothing right out of Rosalie and Alice's wardrobe.
EMMETT: I can't be tamed, I can't be saved
SAM: I can't be blamed, I can't, can't
PAUL: I can't be tamed, I can't be changed
EMMETT: I can't be saved, I can't be
SAM AND PAUL: Can't be
ALL: I can't be tamed!
There's a long pause after the three pose, waiting for an applause that doesn't come.
ALICE: I'm oddly turned on by that.
JASPER: *gets an idea*
ROSALIE: I can't believe a werewolf wore my clothes.
BELLA: That was… disturbing.
EMILY: Now, here's an Autumnxvolturi one:
Oohhmmmmgggg I am so team Felix! Hehe best vamp ever! And Emily you scare me but you still rock!
Truth: bella, Do you prefer edward or Jacob shirtless?
Dare: Edward I dare you to paint your shiny Volvo pink! And then make the interior purple. Ooh! And put flowers all over the car!
Anyways I love this story! And Tell Jake he is sexy for me! Please update soon!
DEMETRI: It's like she's making this up as she goes along.
JANE: Who, the director or the reviewer?
DEMETRI: Both.
EMILY: It says you're sexy, Jacob.
JACOB: *arms crossed and very pissy* Yes. I heard.
EMILY: I feel very special. I'm in a room with vampires and werewolves, but the majority of people seem to agree I'm the scariest one here.
BELLA: Um… I guess Edward, because it takes more effort to get his shirt off. After Jacob phased I think he donated all of his shirts or something.
EDWARD: Not the shiny Volvo! That thing's an icon!
ARO: Look on the bright side. It'll match your hair.
So Edward goes to pick up some paint cans and flowers. Since it's the last dare for the day, several volunteer cast members decided to help out with the car's new look, all having much more fun than Edward.
EMILY: And there you have it. Keep those truths and dares coming, and if you can't think of anything, please feel free to write just to say hi to everyone!