桜森- Spring

sakura forest-spring (a KakashiXSakura fanfic)

Chapter 1

She was running, running behind him. Panting, screaming his name, reaching out towards him in an endless road and futile chase. She opened her mouth but no sound came. He stopped, she stopped. He began to turn his head and she trembled, afraid of what she might see, yet desperate to see his face again. Slowly his features came into view; his spiky black hair which had grown long in his absence from her view. His fair skin, his mouth, in an ever constant serious expression and his eyes, his eyes, the thing she had fallen in love with most. But no, those weren't his eyes, those weren't the eyes she loved….

"Sakura-san….."

Those weren't the eyes she held dear…..

"Sakura-san…"

They were angry, cold. The eyes of a traitor….

"Sakura-san!"

Sakura was brought back to reality by the prodding of Hinata. She was shaking her arm, trying to wake her up from what must be the 5th time she's dozed off during patrol.

"Huh? Wha-?" said Sakura, clearly unable to hide the fact she'd been dozing off in the tree she'd perched herself in hours ago.

"Its time to change shifts Sakura-san… Oni…I mean Neji-san is going to take your post now" said Hinata, still being the gentle girl she always was, but ever since dating Naruto, had gained a confidence that tended to show every now and then, especially when she was assigned to watch over a group of people.

"Neji-kun is…." started Sakura before her mind quickly put 2 and 2 together and clicked."Oh yes, my shift is over for now…" She gave Hinata a kind smile "Thank you Hinata" she said in a tired voice as she jumped off the tree, Hinata in tow.

Neji was not too far from where Sakura had landed. He had lost that cold look he had as a kid and now was smiling more, being much more aware of the feelings of others, especially of his fellow ninja.

"Sakura… Everyone is using the academy as a resting place now. The arena finally collapsed last night so we had to move" said Neji, giving Sakura a casual pat on the shoulder before jumping up the tree she'd been on to continue the watch.

"ahh…I see" said Sakura before moving to walk away from the perimeter of the village. Lately the buildings that had survived all the battles were finally giving way. It is as if the structures had gotten tired and decided they too deserved some rest. Sakura stopped by the small fountain near some of the newly build homes. She stared at her reflection in the cool, glasslike water. She made a face of dislike. She disliked what she saw. In times past she wouldn't have been caught dead looking so disheveled, but now she looked like death warmed over and it bothered her just enough for her to do something. She let her hands dip into the ice cold water, pool some into her cupped hands and splash her face with it. She did this several times, trying hard to wash away the images of her previous dream. It had been a few weeks since she had that dream and still she was quite bothered by it. Even after 2 years she couldn't shake the memories of Sasuke from her mind. She stared at her reflection again, the bangs near her face dripping water and distorting her image in the water. She'd grown out her hair a while back and it was now even longer than when she was a kid. She took off her ninja band to try and fix her hair a bit, using her wet fingers as combs to attack her rebellious locks. After a few minutes of fighting and wetting her fingers she got her hair back to an acceptable appearance and used the two bands she had in it before to re-tie her hair again. She debated whether or not to put back on her village headband. If she was going to sleep she didn't want it on as it bothered her head, but yet again it seemed that sleep was one of the few things she could catch. Her body had become quite rebellious of her will, doing things on its own terms.

"Sakura…."said a voice behind her, a voice she knew well.

"Ahh…Kakashi-sensei… ohayo" she said, though it was hardly morning since the sun had yet to come up over the mountains. She turned around, forcing her best, perky smile on her face and pushing away all thoughts of her dream to the recess of her mind.

Kakashi saw right through Sakura's fake smile. He'd always been able to tell when she was lying, but yet again he said nothing about it.

"You should go get some rest Sakura. You've been taking these double shifts for a while now and it's not healthy for you" he said, moving to step closer to Sakura and touch her forehead. It was cool to the touch, but he could easily see it was because she'd been splashing water on her face; her still damp hair a tell-tell sign.

"Oh relax Sensei…I'm not a child anymore…I think I'd know how to take care of myself by now" she said in a slightly defiant tone as she stood up, not wanting to feel her teacher's hand on her forehead. Kakashi had always treated her as such, treating her with smiles and fatherly affection. Sakura felt frustrated by that. She was an adult by all standards and yet Kakashi still treated her like she was still the naïve 12 year old he'd taught so many years ago.

"I know that Sakura, but lately you don't seem to be yourself. The long nights and hard work are even affecting the amount of times you yell at Naruto..." he said, clearly aware of her defiant tone. He kept smiling at her, his ever present face mask making it hard to see his true smile, but not diminishing the kind tone he always spoke to her with. Sakura smirked a bit. She took pride in one fact, she still remained the only woman in the village who could punch the hokage in the face and not get into trouble for it.

"Naruto has been doing a good job of rebuilding. He's annoyed me less and less since he has Hinata to devote his time and perversions to" she said before noticing something. It was about an hour before dawn. Most of the villagers were still asleep and the anbu were not due to begin reconstruction of the Kage temple until Naruto returned from the Sand village later that morning.

"AHH-! Sensei you're actually early to something!" she said, moving to look at her teacher with a genuine look of surprise. Kakashi made a face and looked down to the ground.

"You don't need to sound THAT surprised Sakura…" he said before looking at her. "I couldn't continue sleeping thanks to Gai's monstrous snoring" he said calmly, having to scratch his head at the thought of his own colleague filling up the entire basement of the academy with the sounds of sawing rough wood. Sakura could relate to Kakashi's discomfort. Having to cram all jounin and anbu into the basement of the academy meant no one was exempt from the heavy snorers of the village.

"Ahh I see…" she said calmly as she pocketed her village headband which until now had been in her hand. "I suppose I'll refrain from going to sleep until Gai-sensei leaves the academy then…" she added. If she was going to have any chance at catching semi-decent sleep, she was going to give herself the best chance possible.

"Then would you like to grab some breakfast? Chouji has yet to wake up so there's plenty to grab" he said gently, having the feeling that Sakura had once again, gone some unknown time without a decent meal. Sakura debated in her mind quickly. It had been a while since she'd sat down for a meal, having been living the past 4 days on a diet of strong coffee and onigiri.

"Sure, I think breakfast sounds good right about now" she said, now showing a real kind smile. Kakashi smiled, putting his hands inside his pockets and bowing his head ever so slightly.

"Good, then let's go now" he said, again with that usual smile as he began to walk along side Sakura. As they walked together, Sakura began to think. Lately she'd become more aware of Kakashi's presence, how she seemed to run into him at the times she really needed a distraction from her depressing thoughts. He always seemed to know how to calm her down, whether it be by doing something she'd find amusing, or simply inviting her to a much needed meal. Also, now that she got to thinking more about him, she'd yet to see how he really looked like. In the many meals he'd invited her too there had always been some poorly timed event that distracted her just enough for her to miss the ever elusive face of her teacher. No…not this time…this time I WILL see it…she thought to herself, finding this task something she could busy her mind with, at least until the end of their meal. She soon found herself following Kakashi into "Ichiraku ramen", one of the few places to have remained pristine and intact from the war. She sat down next to him as the cook asked them for their orders.

"A spicy pork omurice for me… and some tea please" said Kakashi, diverting from his usual morning sake in lieu of Sakura being here.

"eto…. I think I'll have… some fried eggs with sausage, and tea as well" said Sakura, now diverting her attention to looking at Kakashi, not wanting to miss any moment of him removing his mask. Kakashi blinked, noticing Sakura's polite, but obvious staring of him.

"is there…. Something wrong Sakura?" he asked as the waitress brought their tea to them. Sakura shook her head, but said nothing, again, not wanting to distract herself from what seemed to be inevitable now. Kakashi blinked again, but shrugged as he began to remove his mask to sip some tea and properly wake himself up.

Sakura blinked, any random thoughts she had floating in her mind were blasted away by the image she was now engraving into her mind. She saw Kakashi's face and there were no words on this earth that did justice to his looks. He was godlike gorgeous, with a nose, lips and chin any woman could lose themselves in. Add that to his eye and sharingan eye and he was perfect, the epitome of a perfect male specimen if there ever was one. Sakura found herself blushing, something she hadn't done in quite some time as a part of her now held this image close to her heart, to treasure and gawk at on her own leisure.

"Sensei….." Sakura found herself saying in an awestruck voice "Is…this why you always hide your face?" she asked.

Kakashi blinked, but smiled, easily figuring out what she meant by that question.

"Yes, I find I can do any job much more easily when I don't worry about women gawking at me constantly… I never liked the attention…" he said calmly, setting his tea cup down.

Pfft….I can see why… thought Sakura, before she had to shake her head slightly and busy herself with sipping her tea less she become one of those gawkers Kakashi seemed to dislike. Sakura now found her mind diverting to the subject of relationships. Had Kakashi never shown his face…would he have a girlfriend? Would he be married now? Would he have kids? Would his kids be blessed with the gorgeous looks of their father? Sakura blushed more, for a brief second of insanity picturing herself the mother of such gorgeous kids and she shook her head even more violently.

"Sakura are you alright?" asked Kakashi, noticing how she seemed uncomfortable by something. "Do my looks bother you…?" he added to his first question.

Sakura blinked, looking up at Kakashi and then deciding that had been a bad idea. Bother me? Gods I could stare at your face FOREVER Kakashi… you're gorgeous! And its unfair you've hid this from me until now! thought the angry, bold inner Sakura. She shook her head, setting her tea down and having to look at something other than Kakashi less her food deprived mind start wondering towards other things.

"No…no it's not you Sensei… I was…" she had to come up with something quick, quick and plausible. "I was remembering a bad dream I had last night…" she spat out quickly then regretted it. She now feared Kakashi would question her about said dream and make her remember painful things. Kakashi looked at her, calmly resting his cheek on his hand, elbow on the table for now.

"Well then I hope a good meal will help you forget the bad dream…"he said kindly. Long before this Kakashi had suspected Sakura of having nightmares about Sasuke. He didn't blame her, her psyche having been severely damaged by his actions and his death. He's also learned not to prod her in this subject; Sakura having always been touchy about anyone speaking of Sasuke, whether be in a positive or negative way. Sakura blinked, surprised that Kakashi wasn't going to ask her anything about her dream, but also relieved that he didn't.

Soon enough their food was brought and they were silent for a bit as each of them ate. After a while of silence, Sakura spoke.

"Sensei… why are you always looking after me?" she said softly, this being a question she'd been stealing herself to ask for a while now. Kakashi finished the bite of food he'd just taken and sipped some tea before answering her question.

"Sakura, you'll always be my student… it would be quite irresponsible of me not to look after you… " he said gently.

"B-but…you treat me differently... different than you treat Naruto and… different than you treated…Sasuke…" she said, the last name holding a sour and sad note in her tongue. Kakashi nodded. "You're right… but I feel it is because compared to them both, you held the biggest burden…" he said softly.

"Biggest…burden? How?"she asked, now honestly curious.

Kakashi sighed then spoke, putting both hands on the table and locking his fingers. "Sakura… you always walked behind Naruto and Sasuke. Watching them use eachother to grow stronger. I always watched you fight hard to be recognized, not only by them, but by everyone. Each victory of theirs was a victory for you, and each of their failures was a failure for you as well. Even now, that you've become quite strong, you continue trying hard to seek the approval of everyone. You bear the burden of Sasuke's treason as if it were your own" he listened and blinked. Sure she had worked hard to be at where she was now but was she really like that? Was she still seeking the approval of someone? And if yes, of who?

"Sensei… but I don't seek the approval of anyone. I feel like I can stand on my own two feet now"she said calmly. Kakashi nodded.

"I know Sakura, and in terms of skill you do stand on your own, no one will debate that, however, I believe you feel personally responsible for what Sasuke did and even now you're trying to atone for his sins"

Sakura blinked. Was she really doing that? Did that explain why she seemed to go out of her way, working beyond her physical limits for the better of her village? Yeah she felt guilt for not having been able to deal with Sasuke on her own, but how did Kakashi know all of this?

"Sensei… why-…how do you know this? How do you know I feel even more responsible for Sasuke than anyone else?" she asked with a slight tone of urgency, feeling as if all barriers she had put around her personal thoughts had been breached somehow and she felt defenseless. Kakashi smiled, with his mask off, the smile was kind, gentle and sweet.

"How I know this you ask... Sakura…. It's because I've watched you from afar since I met you…" he said in a kind soft voice, as if he revealed a fact she should have noticed by now, but that it was alright she hadn't.

"W-watched me?" she asked, feeling a bit confused. She wondered if Kakashi went out of his way to watch her…

"Sakura, as your teacher it is my duty to observe my students, to know their weaknesses, to know their strengths, to know what bothers then and what makes them happy. I noticed from early on as I taught you, how you, aside from falling for Sasuke, tried beyond your limits to prove yourself to everyone. You were crashing headlong into all challenges, tired of walking behind everyone…." Said the copy nin before he noticed someone walking in and quickly put on his face mask. Sakura blinked, noticing how Kakashi hid (and deprived her of the view) his face back into his normal mask.

"Is there something wrong-?"

"KAKASHI! Why are you having breakfast without me?" screamed Gai as he walked into the small eatery and planted himself between Sakura and Kakashi. Kakashi sighed, running his hand through his masked face, clearly frustrated in his moment of peace.

"Gai…. It is TOO EARLY for you to be shouting…" said Kakashi as he moved to pull some money from his jacket pocket. Sakura blinked, having totally forgotten about her half eaten meal. She honestly wasn't that hungry, but she did finish her now cold tea and moved to take out some money before Kakashi's hand stopped hers.

"I'm treating you today…." He said with a smile as he set down enough money for both meals and a tip. Sakura smiled again, even more so now knowing what kind of smile was behind that mask.

"Very well then…..sensei…" she said, feeling odd still calling Kakashi sensei even now that he seemed so open with her. Sakura stood up but Gai stopped her.

"Sakura-chan, don't go… you need to stay and help me force Kakashi to eat" protested the green clad nin as he put his hands on Kakashi's shoulder and kept him seated.

"Gai-sensei… Kakashi has already eaten breakfast, and I think he's old enough to know when to eat…" said the kunoichi as she stood up again, bowed her head and left. Kakashi sighed, making a mental note to murder Gai later on for interrupting an otherwise nice morning with his student. My student…. No I want her to be more than that…said his inner thoughts before Kakashi mentally slapped himself back into sanity. Stop that… you're 14 years her senior and she is STILL a student…he thought to himself. He stood up, managed to distract Gai with something and left. He looked around, but Sakura wasn't nearby. He sighed, resigned to leaving their conversation interrupted as he went to Tsunade's place where all of the other older jounin were being sent on small missions to raise money for the still hoards of building supplies the village needed.

Sakura headed back to the academy's second floor. That was where most of all female ninjas whose homes were still destroyed were living together; the men were in the basement. She looked at her corner with the things of hers. She had a sleeping bag, a small box of makeup and a duffle bag of clothes. She was living here not because her home was no more; actually her home had been one of the few to survive, but because her home was depressing. Both her parents had died in the combat and the home was untouched, as if they had just stepped out and never returned. Sakura sat on her sleeping bag, looking around, the other kunoichi were already leaving for their shifts and missions, not many women working the overnight jobs. She sighed, that now very normal sense of loneliness crept up to her again. As she watched the other women leave she let her mind wonder. Most, if not ALL of them were now paired off. After the war the urging sense of love had blossomed in the village. People and ninjas alike were tired of being alone, tired of having their significant others be gone. Even people Sakura had never expected to find love had and she felt slightly left out. She shook her head, slapping her cheeks mildly stop it Sakura… stop thinking of such things…she told herself as she began to pack up her things. Her mind drifted between thoughts of Kakashi's face and the fact her house was in disarray. Once all her things were packed she began walking home from the academy. She still had the dusty old key to her front door. She opened it, hearing the wood creak and a small puff of dust greet her. The house was a MESS, dusty and unlived for in over 2 years. She closed the door, took off her shoes at the front and set her things down. She treaded softly through the dusty wooden floor, leaving footprints in her wake. She found herself going up the stairs to her parent's room which was untouched. She closed and locked the door, not wanting to deal with that particular room for now. For the next 3 hours Sakura busied herself deep cleaning her house. She fixed things, rearranged some furniture and even got rid of her pink themed room, settling for a more mature and less eye sore inducing pale lilac theme. Soon enough her home was sparkling clean and decent. She had put her things back into her room and went down to the kitchen. She remembered everything, the cupboards, the fridge, the pantry, everything was devoid of food so she'd soon have to do some major shopping and fill her kitchen with food if she was going to live here. I'm tired….she thought to herself. She went up the stairs to her room. She was dirty and sticky from cleaning so she did grace herself with a much needed and earned shower. She looked at her face in the bathroom mirror afterwards, knowing she'd once again neglected her looks, but for now that didn't matter and it could wait. She put on some comfy pj pants and a tank top and flopped face down on her bed. Images of the copy-nin's face floated in her weary mind but soon she was gone, too tired to dwell on the loneliness she still felt, too exhausted to think about her gorgeous teacher or the empty, dusty room across the hall that bore the spirits of the dead.