Twilight: Truth or Dare: Episode 16
RATING: T for mild language and violence and whatnot
WARNING: I do not own Twilight… obviously
EMILY: *panting* I can't believe… I finally caught up…
20-ish reviews later…
EMILY: D'oh!
NICOLE: You know, you don't have to do all the reviews.
EMILY: I don't?
NICOLE: Sure. You skipped your sister's.
EMILY: Shh! You're not supposed to know that. Besides, I don't have the heart to skip any, so why don't I just set up a few some rules instead?
NICOLE: But you said rules were for losers?
EMILY: …Too bad. Okay, new rules! Rule #1: Enough with the shaving heads already. Yes, I look at the reviews beforehand-
NICOLE: She has a mini spazz attack and goes dancing around the house every time she gets one.
EMILY: *elbows Nicole* -and for some reason a few people out there think having a cast of bald people is funny. And I'll admit, maybe at first, but it gets old really fast. Rule #2: No killing anyone. I've been over this before and don't think it's really a problem, but I'm just being sure. Also, I've spent almost all my time doing these lately, so I think I'll try to get one out a day and now more. If the reviews get stuck in a huge waiting line, that's not my problem. I think that's all we need to worry about as of yet, am I right?
NICOLE: I think so.
EMILY: Okay, now we can begin.
SETH: *pulls out a stack of reviews printed out on Team Emily index cards*
NICOLE: You really went all out, didn't you?
EMILY: Well, I've got to admit, when it comes to originality, I'm pretty good at that. You should see my line of Team Emily footwear and plush toys.
NICOLE: I hope you're paying those nerds double time.
EMILY: Yeah, of course!
SETH: *eh-hem* Our first review is from JacobI'mFrenchSoIWannaLaPushU:
Emily! I was ur fan from day 1!
Dare: Emily...u play the game just 4 2 epsoides! PLEASE?
Oh and Edward I 3 u. U make up a truth and Jake u make up a dare 4 each other!
Oh and its EdwardILoveYou.
LOVE ME EDWARD!
Truth: Emily...r u really THE Emily from the books? LOL
Oh and like the username Jake?
Oh and Emily dear tell Sam hes a sicko cuz he dumps Leah. Shes not the greatest person in the world but come on? HER FREAKING COUSIN?
I would of threw him under a bus. After he would have a lil private lesson with EMily about how Tasers hurt.
EMILY: Ah, I wondered when someone would ask that. No, I'm slightly more…
SAM: Deranged.
EMILY: No, not quite what I was going for… Anyway, obviously I've very different from the Other Emily and much prettier, if I do say so myself. Also, I don't think she'd have the heart to do any of this. As for your other question, I'll suppose I'll play the game if you give me something I'd want to do or answer, other I'll just ignore it.
EDWARD: Hm… I can't think of anything.
JACOB: Me neither. How about we just do the basic, elementary school ones?
EDWARD: What do you mean?
JACOB: I dare you to lick the floor.
EDWARD: Who do you like?
JACOB: Bella. Duh.
EDWARD: *licks the floor*
NICOLE: *shakes her head* Stupid elementary school version… Alright, so here's one from Joanne:
i love this emily ur so funni i hope you do more shows i love the cullens!
i dare carlisle to go streaking at the hosptal (datz so mean but i like it lol)
my truth is did bella ever dream or anyone other dan edward
hi everyone! bye everyone!
-joanne
BELLA: I have dreamt of other guys before, but not in a romantic way, if that's what you mean.
EMILY: Okay Carlisle, go for it!
CARLISLE: B-But then I'll probably get fired!
EMILY: Too bad. Now start streaking. But why don't you do us all a favor and start stripping after you get to the hospital?
CARLISLE: Ugh. Fine.
Carlisle leaves to go do so as Seth reads the next review from LaughterIsLife.
SETH:
haha this is like my fifth truth and dare review...Emily should I fear for my life after this show is over? Anyways my dare is for Sam. Sam has to dye Bella's hair lime green and do her make up to make her look like a circus clown. Bella then has to ride around the studio on a unicycle. For truth, Nessie, how does it feel to be a half-human, half-vampire hybrid? Oh hey, look at that I was actually nice to Sam for once! oh wait...Leah, I dare you to slap Sam in the face
EMILY: I'd count on it.
SAM: Okay, I'll go get the green dye…
BELLA: *dejectedly follows him into the bathroom*
When Bella comes out she somewhat resembles a circus clown. It is soon discovered that she has absolutely no talent for riding a unicycle.
RENESMEE: I'm not sure. I mean, it's not like I would know what being anything else feels like. It's just normal to me, like how being whatever you are feels to you.
LEAH: *slaps Sam* I agree. Much better.
EMILY: Next we have one from Darcy K:
First of all, thanks for accepting my dares :), i was hoping i could submit two more...
also, WHY DO YOU ALL HATE JACOB! Hes just a nice, funny guy who loves a girl, who happens to be taken by a creeper! i say go for it! besides, Jake is Awesome!
So my truth is for Seth- Cheese or Pudding? (Its a long, humiliating story...)
and My darte is For Edward- I dare him to not only shave his head, but ALSO, not to buy a wig for a year, and Tatoo a big pink, heart, with I LOVE THE WEREWOLFS in red.
Oh, and no dares to turn it back! :)
Love the story, and the wolfs ;)
SETH: Pudding!
EMBRY: *cuddles up with his cheese* Good. You stay the hell away from my fiancée.
EMILY: Because of my new rule from before, we'll leave Edward's hair alone, but I think the tattoo seems appropriate.
EDWARD: Appropriate?
CARLISLE: *runs back in half-dressed* I'm back! And the police were after me, but I managed to shake them off with my fast driving skills. And let me tell you, there is absolutely no way they're ever going to let me back into that office again.
NICOLE: You heard her, Edward. Now go get that tattoo! And make sure it's spelled wrong. After all, the viewer did say it had to say 'werewolfs'.
Edward leaves to get his tattoo.
SETH: This is another one from Wolfpack princess:
You all will be hearing from me alot. Peoplez stop picking on Jacob because his super sexy and your just jealous.
Dare-Jacob shaves off blondie's(rosalie)
Truth-Edward please explain why Bella hanging around the wolves is more dangerous than a coven of vampires where one coughJaspercough almost killed her because of a PAPERCUT!
PS still love Seth and think he's super Hot and Sexy:)
NICOLE: Thank god you put that new rule in. I mean, I had no idea…
EMILY: I know, right?
ESME: Then why did I have to do it?
NICOLE: Because it was funny at first, but we don't want everyone looking like they have cancer, do we?
SETH: Edward's not back yet. Shall we continue?
EMILY: Sure. We'll give him his when he comes back with his tattoo.
NICOLE: Okay, Tell it to my heart's says:
Heyyyyyyyy Emily and Nicole. Is it possible this show got more amazing. I think so. Hmmmmm Dare: Jacob I dare you to be the gofer. No Ifs,ands,or buts. GOT IT!Truth: Bella I want to know why do u HATE shopping? It's the best thing in the world. Hey Emily,Nicole I got candy for you both. I'm the one wearing the shirt that says 'I want to La Push Jacob off a cliff' *waves at everyone*
NICOLE: Whoohoo! Someone finally mentioned me!
EMILY: Pfft. But it's not like you have fans or anything.
NICOLE: Excuse me?
BOTH: *distracted by the box of candy* Yipee!
EMILY: *waves back excitedly*
JACOB: Okay, okay, enough with the La Push jokes already! And fine, I'll be your stupid gofer or whatever. Geez.
BELLA: Well, it's just never been fun for me. I'm mostly happy with what I have and don't see the excitement behind spending money to get more things you don't need.
NICOLE: Aw, what do you know? I agree with the viewer. Shopping's amazing.
Just then Edward comes back in.
EMILY: Did you get it?
EDWARD: I had them do it on my butt so no one would have to see. Would you like to check?
EMILY: …Not really.
NICOLE: I'll ask Bella later.
EMILY: Oh yeah, and you had a truth to explain to Bella how hanging around werewolves is more dangerous than vampires.
EDWARD: Because… uh… Because they're evil. Enough said.
JACOB: Evil?
EDWARD: They're all hairy, and sharp-fanged, and… erm…
JACOB: That's completely unjustified! You're not any less scary than we are.
EDWARD: Nuh-uh!
EMILY: *rolls eyes* The both of them are so immature.
SETH: *nodding* Uh-huh.
NICOLE: Anywho, I've got a review from Pottergoose:
Hello cullens!
*makes out with edward since bella is sitting next to jake now*
Anyway! What up vamps?
Dare: emmett, I dare you to dress up in alices lace black bra and a mini skirt, have alice do your makeup, and go to a local bar, get piss drunk and profess your unrequited love for barney
Truth: rose, what did you do with the wedding dress after you killed that sick bastard? Be honest, and give details
EMMETT: Yay! More dress-up time!
ALICE: You poor, disturbed child.
Emmett runs off to find Alice's bra and mini skirt. When he gets back, Alice does his makeup in the bathroom and sends him on his way to the Irish pub down the block. Despite from the fact that vampires can't get drunk, he attempts to anyway and goes on a rant to all willing to listen about how much he loves Barney.
Back at the sudio…
ROSALIE: It's hung up in the back of my closet to this day. Emmett insisted I get rid up it so I won't have to be reminded of him, but it was an expensive dress, and I wore it for me and Emmett's wedding.
EMMETT: *walks back in* I think I deserve the right to read the next review.
EMILY: Nope! That right remains with the staff.
EMMETT: But Alice did that one time?
JASPER: That was before the director had formed a staff of herself, Nicole, and Seth.
EMMETT: Oh, shut up, know-it-all!
NICOLE: Here's one last one from Kyranicle:
Hey Everyone! Well, I hope your all having a GREAT TIME! hehe.
Well, I dare Alec to kiss Bella for 5 minutes WHILE Edward has to describe everything they do. Hehe. Btw: I love you Alec! Marry me? Jk. Wait jk that I was jk! Lol. So,
I want the truth from CARLISLE if he's EVER had dirty thought about one of his children.
Aro, I dare you to kiss Sam! *grins evily*
Emily, you rock. Put that taser to good use!
P.S. Bella, get a backbone! Your stupid, weak, and ugly! No offense.
P.P.S. Also from my last truth & dare:
"I know where you ALL live!"
I 3 u Alec ;)
(don't be ashamed, I know you love me too!)
Edward, I want the truth here: r u gay? U do have gay qualities... Okay! Have fun! Good luck! I'll be writing back soon!
ALEC: Um… whatever you say. *begins kissing Bella*
EDWARD: *winces* There's not much to describe. I mean, they're just kissing… nothing… too bad. Except that Alec just winked at me!
The five minutes pass as Edward fails to think of anything more original to say.
CARLISLE AND EDWARD: Of course not.
EMILY: *tases them both*
CARLISLE: What the hell was that for? I was being honest!
EMILY: Just checking.
NICOLE: Gotta be sure, you know.
EMILY AND NICOLE: *high five*
NICOLE: Okay, so I think that's it for now, right?
EMILY: Yup. Looks like. Well, off to more important things now! I think I'll try to do one of this a day, as I said, so to not overwhelm myself.
SETH: Thanks for all your reviews about how much you love me!
NICOLE: See you all tomorrow!