Twilight: Truth or Dare: Episode 19
RATING: T for mild language and violence and whatnot
WARNING: I do not own Twilight… obviously
EMILY: I'm so sorry I haven't written as many of these as I'd like to, but I was busybusybusy, and it never fails to amaze me how much farther behind I can get with each episode I post, so I'll try what I did before again and write as many as I can and post them all at once… sorry if that makes any of you impatient people upset. Besides, I'm not in a great mood now I'm exhausted from performances all weekend, plans changed and now Nicole sleeping over got moved to next week
NICOLE: That wasn't my fault!
EMILY: And on top of it all I lost my cell phone!
NICOLE: Again?
EMILY: Again. But this time it wasn't in the car.
SETH: I guess you're just going to start with the reviews, then?
EMILY: You guess correctly. Okay, so all ranting aside, I now have a review from DoUHaveATwitterJustWondering! By the way, I'm thinking I'll have to start being more selective about the reviews I put on the show now, just because there is absolutely no way I'll ever get through them all anymore.
Emily do u have a twitter?
Dare: Jacob...hmm...Quil bring Jake 2 the pound and say I found this dog and act all puppish
Truth: Emmet whats ur best prank?
Oh and...uh...
TEAM EDWARD!
Team Jacobs r 4 losers
EMILY: Okay, that's actually a long story. I did have my own Twitter for a while, then I changed it to join a Twitter Twilight roleplaying thing as Athenodora, but eventually I got kicked out, tried to start up my own, and that didn't really work out because hardly anyone joined or cared, so I gave up and haven't been on since. I should make another one, though. I just haven't gotten around to it.
QUIL: Alright, Jake! Looks like you're spending the day in the pound!
JACOB: That's ridiculous. No one is going to buy that.
NICOLE: Too bad. Just do it.
So Quil and Jacob leave to do their dare.
EMMETT: Prank? Well, there was this one time Alice dragged Jasper and I to the mall with her. I went back and parked Jasper's car on the top level later, and while Alice saw I was going to do it, she joined in and drove back with me. Jasper spent at least an hour looking for his car and to this day had no idea how it got there.
JASPER: So it was you two who did it!
SETH: Okay, next! This is from My name does not matter:
I love this! and it's definately team Emily!(do you have coffee mugs?t-shirts? i don't know what to give my cousin for her b-day)truth: everyone has to say what they thought about the movies that another viewer kindly sent. and no one's paying attention to the rest of the volturi:( soooooooo dare: Chelsea and Afton what's the most disguting thought you ever had about each other?and Emily i need to know when you will be putting your merchandise for purchase, i need a new backpack!
BELLA: I think this 'Kristen' person makes me look bad. I don't like her.
EDWARD: And I look anemic or something. Are my lips really that purple?
JACOB: Personally, I thought I looked sexy as always.
SAM: Hey, when did you get back?
QUIL: We took him down the pound, scared the employee away, and then circled around and came back.
CARLISLE: Well, I didn't think they were that bad.
EMBRY: Sure they were. What was up with those tattoos our pack had? So weird!
ARO: I thought the Volturi looked delightfully evil.
CHELSEA: Are you kidding? There is no such thing as 'disgusting'.
AFTON: What about bugs?
CHELSEA: Ewe, those are disgusting!
AFTON: …Right. Well, I'm not sure what you mean by disgusting, but there have certainly been some dirty thoughts that were later turned into actions.
CHELSEA: Technically this is supposed to be rated T, so we'll just leave the rest of to interpretation. *winks*
EMILY: Alrightie, then. As for the Team Emily merchandise, I've got a while isle dedicated to it at Evil R Us! Anyway, 87angel78 posted:
Woohoo! Emily you rock your so LOL! Seth i love you! And PS I'm team EDWARD so Jacob, i dare you to wear a pink "team edward" shirt for the rest of the chapter! andi dare alice to go a week without shopping! Haha i love shopping :) for truth, has Jasper ever used emotions to get revenge on any of his siblings? Emily again your awesome! wish i could be on your staff I'd be better than Nicole and actualy listen to you! Anyway your awesome love you TEAM EMILY!
NICOLE: *tosses Jacob a pink Team Edward shirt*
JACOB: Are you kidding me? It's bad enough I even have to wear a shirt, but this is just ridiculous.
ALICE: No! Not my semi-weekly shopping trip!
JASPER: If I told you that, then it wouldn't be much of a secret anymore. But no, I haven't used it for quote-on-quote 'revenge'. Just, know, to stop anyone from being mad at me and get out of having to clean my room.
ESME: So that's why it never gets done.
JASPER: Hey, I like it the way it is! And I know exactly where to find anything in it. So there.
NICOLE: Emily, I'm offended.
EMILY: Aw, it's okay. It's rather difficult to get people here who I don't know personally, like Nicole. And maybe she doesn't worship me like a god when we all know she should, that's part of why I love her. Also because she's an amazing singer and we have the same tastes in just about everything.
NICOLE: Aww… I love you too, Emily!
EMILY: That's enough of that. Seth, you read the next one.
SETH: Aye aye! So, this was sent in by ChocolateLover115:
I want to be your gofer! I could have gotten that vanilla bean for you fastt than Seth! Anyways, love this, wish it was in cable. Truth: Carlisle, did you think that Esme throwing herself off a cliff was a tad extreme? Dare: Seth has to look over a kitten for the entire season while the other wolves are in wolf form(making it difficult for the cat to stay)! Hope you guys are well, Emily keep on rocking!
CARISLE: A tad? More like very extreme.
ESME: I had my reasons.
CARLISLE: *eh-hem* Not very good ones.
ESME: *death glare*
SETH: You mean I get to have a kitty cat?
EMILY: Oh, that should be fun. I have two cats myself, Matisse and Squeak. Except Squeak lives outdoors and he's old, not that soft, and drools, while Matisse is evil and hates me for some odd reason that I can never understand.
NICOLE: Edward, you're the gofer right now. Go pick up a kitten.
EDWARD: But then won't it be scared of me?
NICOLE: Probably. But I don't see how the pack can be phased the entire time, if they're needed for other dares.
EMILY: No problem. Then they'll just be phased when they have nothing to do or say.
NICOLE: This is from I love mike chang 28:
='[ why does everyone enjoy hurting Jacob? He may not be as good as Seth but that's no reason to taze somebody! Poor little Jacob. er, I mean, Poor big Jacob. grr! I mean...poor Jacob. I'm kinda angry now. AND I wanna help Felix get over his whole traumaized thingy, so... I dare Felix to taze Jane. Sorry Jane. And as for truth... hmm. I'm never good with coming up with truths. Hm. Okay. I don't know. Anways...
Feel better Jacob! I love you! (not as much as Seth, or Embry, or Paul...or...you get the point. You are still loved!)
and sorry again Jane, but he only has to taze you for ten seconds! =]
EMILY: This could be difficult.
Everyone attempts to get Felix to hold up the taser without much success. Eventually Nicole has to help him hold it up to tase Jane.
ARO: Perhaps we should get him a therapist?
MARCUS: Maybe.
CAIUS: I had forgotten about him. He was so quiet in that corner all by himself.
MARCUS: Aw, well! What's the next review?
SETH: Well, I have one from MickeyMouse16:
Hey Emily And Nicole!..Love The Fanfic, Its Soooo Funny !
Team Emily ! :)
Dare: I Dare Rosalie and Jacob to Kiss ( i Know How Much They Hate Each Other!)and then let emmett beat up jacob for kissing his girl!( i just want jacob in pain!)
Truth:Rosalie, Do You Really love emmett because it really doesnt sseem like it,please be nice to him! and tell him how much you love him!
Team Emmett! Superhero's are Awesome! and so Is Disney!
JACOB: Honestly, I'm more afraid of Rosalie's wrath than Emmett's. He's not half as scary.
EMMETT: Hey! I am too scary!
JACOB: *kisses Rosalie* Okay. Do your worst.
EMMETT: Why you little—
Cue the giant cartoon fighting cloud!
ROSALIE: Emmett, you jerk! How do you expect me to confess my love when you're too busy fighting a werewolf?
NICOLE: Well… we'll get back to that. Anyway, here's a review posted by Pnkrkriotgirl:
Emily you are the greatest host alive. For Truth I would like Bella to tell Alice how she really feels about all the shopping trips and dressing up. Since Paul is not getting any love I dare him to come to my house and enjoy a wonderful dinner of Pot Roast with homemade bread. Can't wait to see what will happen next. Team Paul all the way!
BELLA: Look, Alice… as you're probably well aware, I'm obviously not a huge fan of shopping trips or dressing up. But I'm willing to do whatever makes you happy.
ALICE: Aww. I love you too, Bella!
NICOLE: *rolls eyes*
PAUL: You mean it? Whoohoo! I'll stop by tonight, as soon as this episode is over. Assuming the director lets me.
EMILY: Meh. I guess it was a dare… Speaking of which, I now have one from ChocolateLover115:
I made a Nicole fan club! I dare Emily to caste me as tge nerd wrangler. I also dare every fictional character to dance the miss America dance from miss congeniality. For a truth...aro admit that you're gay, be proud! Ps-I 3 Disney. And Seth, will you marry me? There can even be a special room for your new taser!
Ooohhhhh! Aro, meet the robinsons, robin hood, and the hunchback of notre dame are good Disney movies not already listed. You should go to Disney world after this and have a marathon in Cinderella's castle! Heck, you should move there...on second thought, maybe you shouldn't...don't want kids drained of blood. Might ruin the resort's reputation. I dare you also to watch the non Disney- yes they're Fox movies unlike how some peope think that they are Disney- Anastasia and Thumbelina! Then for truth you have to say how good it is! 3 you aro! Ps- caius can go jump off a bridge!
CAIUS: A bridge? I don't see what good that would do…
SETH: *blushes* B-But I'm too young to get married!
ARO: For the last time, I'm not gay! …I'm bi.
SULPICIA: What?
EDWARD: But you weren't before?
ARO: I know. I just decided earlier today, idiot.
DEMETRI: *le gasp* Oh, I wanna stay in Cinderella's castle! Can we, oh pleeease?
MARCUS: Isn't our own castle good enough for you?
EMILY: Okay, so that's it for today! Everyone now has to break into Miss America dance and then we're going to my place to watch Anastasia and Thumbelina! I think I have them both on tape.
CARLISLE: But what if you don't know the dance?
NICOLE: Figure it out.
PAUL: But what about my dinner plans with a complete stranger?
NICOLE: Afterwards.
PAUL: But-
SETH: No buts!
EMILY: *hugs Seth* Look at 'im, Nicole! He's following in our footsteps!
JACOB: You both will make awful parents.
NICOLE: What do you know? You're just a fictional character.
ESME: Ouch.
EMILY: Uh… Anyway, that's about it for today! We'll see you all next time on Twilight: Truth or Dare!