Twilight: Truth or Dare: Episode 22
RATING: T for mild language and violence and whatnot
WARNING: I do not own Twilight… obviously
EMILY: I'll have to admit, I have a very short attention span and am actually rather surprised I've already cranked out over twenty of these things. For those of you who have stayed up-to-date on my work, I thank you, but you probably noticed I've stopping writing these all that often. With band camp starting for me in a week I probably won't have much time to write all the time anyway, so I think I'm going to make Twilight: Truth or Dare a 25-episode season, rather than just stopping abruptly somewhere in the middle.
ALL: *suddenly perk up at this*
NICOLE: Aw, then what are you planning on doing?
EMILY: I'm not sure yet. I've been slowly adding to my novel, and I just finished watching the entire Avatar series last week… And I completely forgot about my Kingdom Hearts and Star Wars script fan fictions. Trust me, I've got a lot of work to get done. Did I ever tell you about the web comics I was planning on making?
NICOLE: That's just great. Anyway, since it appears that there will only be three more episodes not including this one (assuming the director doesn't change her mind, because she's been known to do that), let's try and send in some really good truths and dares for these remaining few episodes.
EMILY: Gee, it's not like I'm going to disappear forever. Once school starts and things slow down a bit I might make a second season.
ALL: *excited looks suddenly fade*
EMILY: But you're right, people are probably already bored of listening to me blabbering on, so I'll just let Seth take it away with the first review for today.
SETH: Alrightie, then. This is one from xCuzImAwesomex:
OMG! This story is hi-to-the-la-ri-ous! Okay, before my truth and dare(s), I'd like to give a shout-out to all my faves: Emily *gives Emily a bed-sized Hershey bar*, Rose *YEAH ROSALIE, WOOOHH!* Alice, Emmett, Carlisle (ur hot!), Chelsea, Felix, Marcus, Demetri, Aro (ur so GAY!) Jane (Power to the pain!) Jacob (love u...and ur totally hot abs!) Seth (will you be my brother, you are soooo my favorite wolf!) Alec, Leah (u rock Leah!) Paul, Esme, Emmett U ALL F***ING ROCK! Except for Bella: who is whiny, clumsy, ah-nnoying, clingy, possesive, and thinks too much. Seriously. And Edward: you are a 104-yr-old virgin for gods sake! Go get some already! And you are seriously possesive, talk really boring, and stalk Bella. You show 3 out of 5 signs of being a sociopath! Check it out on Amazon you creep-o! *takes huge breath*
NOW FOR THE DARES!
P.S- I regret nothing:
These are for those IMGINARY characters out there who haven't had a chance to get thoroughly embarrassed yet:
Edward- Eddie, I dare you to say a curse word (in ENGLISH, and loud enough so everyone can hear you!) or a random word like "ta-tas" or "cooter" or something like that whenever someone says the 'jackpot word'. Which just happens to be 'a'. That's right, 'a'.
Bella- I dare you to French kiss Alec ON HIS LAP WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU for twenty minutes with Jasper sending powerful blasts of lust every 2 minutes and Eddie giving a VERY detailed play-by-play of it.
Rosalie- Rose, if you had to French one person in the room (who is a LEGAL female) who would it be? And why?
Rose again- I double-triple-banana-dare you to French that person you picked for 10 minutes. Mwahahahahahaahahahahha!
So that's all. BTW- Don't mistake love for hate!
And P.S- I hate you Bella! Hahahahaha!
JACOB: That was looong.
EDWARD: Okay, I think I get what they mean. So every time someone says the word 'a', I have to shout out… ta-tas?
BELLA: I guess so.
JASPER: Okay, Bella, now I have to help you do your dare.
EMILY: *shakes head* Don't they realize I'm bad at writing play-by-plays by now? *uses super-secret skipping ahead technique that doesn't technically count as cheating but kind of still is*
Twenty minutes pass as Jasper continues to fuel Bella and Alec's French kissing session. Meanwhile, Edwards attempts to give a rather awkward play-by-play of the event.
EDWARD: Ta-tas!
ALICE: No one said the word.
EDWARD: But the director used it in her fanfiction narration?
CARLISLE: That doesn't count, does it?
EDWARD: *shrugs*
NICOLE: Next up is XxEvilMasterMindxX:
Damn this is f-ing awesome. (WARNING: I luv to curse so don't be surprise) I want to say that EDWARD YOU SUK TENNIS BALLS. I just really don't like you Edward. If I was Bella I would dump your gay a$$ where no one will find you. But I do respect team Edward fans. But I am still TEAM JACOB AND SETH! I was team Jacob before Taylor Lautner was in the movie. My dare is for Edward. I dare you too run around town naked int he day and saying 'Bella I hate you'. Dare for Rose. I dare you to be in a gorilla suit and climb up a building pretending to be King Kong.
P.S Alice you are the best vamp ever! You wolves are hot. All you vamps are awesome except Edward. And Aro you should write down 'Hunch back of Notre Dame'. And also I am a weird person because I like the idea of Paul and Bella being together. I love being this crazy b!tch. Damn this is long.
EDWARD: *blinks* I'm not even going to ask how you guys come up with these.
Edward kindly strips down to nothing outside the building before running around shouting 'Bella I hate you' at the top of his lungs. By the time he gets back it's amazing that no one's tried to arrest him yet. While he was doing his dare Rosalie went out to buy a gorilla suit and reenacted a scene from King Kong using the Emily Barbie doll that another viewer sent in as Ann Darrow.
EMILY: Now that we got that over with… Rosalie, hand over the Emily Barbie doll. It's a collector's edition, so you'd better not have damaged it or its battery-powered plastic TOD Mini-Me! Oh, and here's one from :
Hi EMILY! I joined your FAN CLUb! I just lub ur story! I'm in the audiance wearing a shirt that says 'i x3 boys tht sparkle' &' tht means u Edward! Anyways dare*grins at Jacob* I dare Jacob to pretand to be a baby and Bella and Edward have to be his parents for the rest of the whole show and no one can take tht away! If you don't do it I know where u live Jacob! I know it sucks but hey it's the best I can do! Bella said we are all worthless humans let get her*angry mob agrees* I love you Edward and how did you guys like the movies? Don't wrry I will send breaking dawn! How did Edward get a tatoo if his skin is marble? I love Seth and Emmett You rock cullens and werewolfs suck! Except Seth
EDWARD: About the tattoo, I actually tried to get a – ta-tas – real one. That didn't work out so well, so instead I went with air brush.
NICOLE: You cheated!
EDWARD: I improvised.
JACOB: *cuddles up next to Bella* Mommy!
RENESMEE: This is so weird.
BELLA: Agreed.
SETH: I am awesome's says:
hi it's me again. Emily ur awesome. so's nicole. I AM TEAM JACOB. becuz he's awesome. Sam u suck. leah rocks.
Dares: Bella must full on make out with jacob (u owe me jacob)
Seth must taser sam for an hour then jane must give him pain for 2 hours.
Truth: Don't have a truth
BELLA: But I thought Jacob was supposed to be my 'baby'?
NICOLE: I looked over the reviews for today and in a little bit you're going to have to tase him. Some mom you're gonna make.
JACOB: *so confused*
BELLA: …Fine.
Jacob and Bella start making out as Seth uses his fully-charged, semi-new taser to tase Sam, to his horror. Jane eagerly awaits her turn.
NICOLE: Okay, here's what I was I was talking about. It's from Morganna:
Emily, this is hilarious! It's so awesome, All my friends read it and laughed. Okay, so for My dare, I dare Bella to Tase Jacob for an hour, (I just hate him so much! Team Edward 3) and for my truth is for Jane, Why do you hate everyone so much, We all think your awesome, why do you hate us D:
NICOLE: Told you.
EMILY: *reluctantly hands TOD over to Bella*
JACOB: Now wait a minute! First I was your baby, then you start making out with me, and now you're going to—
BELLA: *starts tasing Jacob* Sorry, son.
JANE: I never said I hated everyone… I just enjoy seeing people suffer. It's nothing personal. Speaking of which, why do I have to wait a whole hour to get to inflict pain upon the Sam wolf? I could easily have done that at the same time as the other kid.
EDWARD: Ta-tas!
EMILY: Yeah, yeah. I didn't write the dare. Anywho, now we've got a review from tEaM cArLiSle:
Hey. Thanks for using my review for your last chapter. Hmmm. That was the first chapter in a whole where you used the taser. I hope your not getting soft...nag just screwing with ya. Lol. Hmm let's see for a truth: emmett what is the best April fools day prank you have done? And for dare: I dare jasper to make two characters of emily and nicoles choice think they are in love with each other for the rest of this episodes. Lol. Also just want to say emily, nicole, you guys are the best. I mean I've read other truth and dares before but this is the best one ever. Nothing could possibly beat it. Oh also to everybody if you had to choose between the harry potter or the lord of the rings which would you pick? Just wondering. Lol.
EMILY: Not soft, just lazy. It's amazing I was even able to write at all over the summer, since that's usually when my brain goes into hibernation. And how can you even ask that? I mean, on one hand you've got Aragorn and Legolas, two of the hottest fictional characters in the history of everything, and then there's Ron and Snape, who are just plain awesome in their own kind of hot way… not in a yaoi way, because that's not really my thing, but you know what I mean.
NICOLE: As you can see, Emily and I are fully-devoted fan girls. I agree; there's no way you could possibly pick between the two.
ALL: *simultaneous nods of agreement, aside from the few losers who don't care for that sort of thing*
EMMETT: Well, last year I wrote 'April Fools' on a roll of toilet paper and left it out of Bella's reach for when she came over that day. I was going to do the whole plastic sheet thing I'd heard about, but I figured then Edward would've killed me.
BELLA: You did that? I didn't even notice.
EMMETT: Alas, all my evil schemes have amounted to nothing!
NICOLE: Jasper, why don't you do… Jane and Demetri? They've both been single for some time now.
JANE AND DEMETRI: What?
EMILY: *shrugs* Well, I've got nothing better.
JASPER: Um, okay.
Jasper somehow makes Jane and Demetri develop a crush for each other, but instead of skipping right to physical contact, they continue stare and each other and blush from across the room. The rest of the Volturi can be seen rolling their eyes and hanging their heads in shame until it's Jane's turn to continue traumatizing Sam where Seth left off.
NICOLE: Look at them. They're like one big, happy family.
EMILY: *sighs dreamily* Yeah… Doesn't it feel so great to know we've made a difference in these fictional character's lives?
SETH: *a bit skeptical* It sure does.
SAM: *glares daggers as he rolls around the floor in pain*
EMILY: Well, this has been fun, but I'm afraid it time to close up shop. Alright everything, thanks for everything! And in case anyone would like to know, again, my Twitter is Autumnstar_ and you can find me on deviantART as Autumnstar17.
NICOLE: *elbows Emily* Quit advertising.
EMILY: Meh. Okiedokie, see you all next time!