Twilight: Truth or Dare: Episode 23
RATING: T for mild language and violence and whatnot
WARNING: I do not own Twilight… obviously
EMILY: *a bit scratchier than usual* Hey everyone! I'm back again. In case you didn't know, I planned to do a lot more on the weekend but then I got a cold and lost my voice, and even now it's coming in and out.
NICOLE: Maybe you should stop talking, then, so it can come back?
EMILY: I'm trying, but it's so hard! *coughs*
NICOLE: So you singing Sweeney Todd on the way in here was your way of 'trying'?
EMILY: *glares* It's catchy.
NICOLE: It's about killing people and making them into pies.
EMILY: It's catchy.
SETH: You know, why don't you have some tea or something and try to keep quiet? I know it's hard for you, but maybe there's a reason most people lose their voice for a day throughout long periods of time while you lose yours every so often for a week? I'm just saying.
EMILY: Okay, you're probably right. Who's my gofer right now? I don't even remember.
EDWARD: *slowly raises hand*
EMILY: Good. Go get me some tea.
EDWARD: *leaves to go do so*
NICOLE: Alright, our first review is from ChocolateLover115:
Ugh! I'm sooooo happy that I finally see my review, it made my day! Although I was saddened when I didn't see the cute kitten...and when Seth rejected me...how low can my self esteem go? Oh well, still looking forward to being your nerd wrangler! Dare: Caius actually go jump off a bridge, emily's pick! Truth: Leah, do you mind if your brother has the power to tase you? Love you Seth, Emily, Nicole, and nerd herd!
Superb as always! I miss Aro writing down the movies, so for inspiration I'm giving him a hundred dollar Disney giftcard and a fifty dollar giftcard to blockbusters! And if you like, I could send in some taser cozies for TOD and TOD 2...they'll pop up in five minutes! Dare: have Jacob change to his wolf form and be walked by Edward and Bella in their orange suited with matching bows on his hair! Truth: why don't you want to marry me Seth? Do you want me to end up an old maid? Do you want that guilt on you, especially after I gave you a cat and a room for your taser? Oh well, you're very ambitious Emily and Nicole! Hope you enjoy the cozies!
EMILY: Oh! I was just at Disneyland this weekend. I swear, I could practically live there!
NICOLE: What part of 'save your voice' don't you get?
EMILY: *whimpers and sinks back into chair*
NICOLE: Just ignore her. Actors can be such drama queens.
EMILY: You're one to talk…
CAIUS: You've got to be kidding me.
EMILY: Golden Gate Bridge.
CAIUS: Why that bridge?
EMILY: I don't know the names of very many bridges.
CAIUS: …Fine.
Caius leaves to do his dare as Edward comes back in with the director's tea.
EMILY: *begins chuckling to herself*
CARLISLE: What's her problem now?
SAM: Maybe there's something in her tea?
EDWARD: Don't worry; I picked out one without caffeine.
EMILY: No, it's not that. I just remembered something from Vampires Suck.
NICOLE: Oh yeah, we went to see that together. That movie was funny.
EMILY: Yeah… right up until the point where I finished my gigantic soda and had to use the bathroom for the last twenty minutes. But my writing didn't look half as funny after that. *snaps back into reality* Sorry, I'm having a hard time staying focused today. And I'm not supposed to be talking until my voice completely comes back.
LEAH: Well, I can't say I'm happy about it, but I suppose it's better than… some other people.
BELLA: Edward, our dare was to take Jacob on a walk.
EDWARD: Okay then, let's get this over with.
BELLA: I wonder where we can find a big enough collar? And matching bows.
JACOB: *rolls eyes* You've got to be kidding me…
The three of them leave to do their dare.
NICOLE: What about your truth, Seth?
SETH: *embarrassed* I-I don't know. I mean… I don't know you. And-and I'm just 15! I'm not old enough to get married yet!
NICOLE: Well, we'll get back to that when you're older, then.
EMILY: *trying really hard not to say anything*
NICOLE: Maybe we should get you a white board or something?
EMILY: No, that doesn't work too well. I brought one to school the last time this happened, but it took too long for me to write anything. And it was much worse then. *covers mouth* Sorry. *begins petting Seth's kitten to keep herself from talking*
SETH: Um… Okay, this next review is from GeorgiaCullen.x:
I know this gets said a lot but EMILY YOU RULE and so does Nicole :D Edward I love you.
Dare: Aro to throw away all his disney films :)
Truth: Edward did you go out with anyone before Bella?
I LOVE YOU ALL, Emily I made you queen of evil :D Team Edward forever! Goodbyeee!
ARO: Ha, I don't own any Disney films yet! *series of 'nyah nyah' noises ensues as he waves around the gift cards teasingly*
JANE: You're a disgrace to the Volturi. You know that, right?
NICOLE: I guess we'll have to ask Edward his when he and Bella get back. Anyway, I 3 Jasper says:
Hey. Emily and nicole, you guys totally rock. I love this! Can't wait to read more. Right so I realized that leah
hasn't done much so far so I'm going to dare leah to make out with her chosen vamp for 47 minutes(just to be random lol) oh and she has to do it or else jane can use her powers on her until she does answer. Hmm...For a truth: to alec who is your favourite Cullen and why? Again you must answer or you will suffer the wrath of either jane, emily or nicole!
LEAH: How about… Demetri? After all, I suppose he is Ominous Voiceover Vampire.
EMMETT: What's wrong with all of you favoring those of us with special positions, like Ominous Voiceover Vampire, or Exhibition Vampire, or Padawon? I'm important to this show too, you know!
JASPER: Jealous?
EMMETT: No! I just don't like being excluded, that's all. It's discrimination on those of us whom the director decided she doesn't like as much.
EMILY: That's not true.
ALEC: I'm not so sure. I mean, I know Carlisle best but… maybe Jasper? Being Exhibition Vampire has got to be pretty cool.
EMMETT: Damn you all!
Nicole sets the stopwatch and Leah and Demetri start making out, wondering how everyone manages to keep it up for that long. Fairly soon Caius comes back in looking a bit banged up, and Jacob, Bella, and Edward reenter as well.
JACOB: *phases back and pulls on a pair of pants quickly* That sucked. Can you believe how many other dogs tried to sniff my butt? It was humiliating enough even without the bows.
BELLA: And I don't think I've ever going to get used to this outfit, no matter how long I wear it.
ALICE: There was a dare for you while you were gone, Edward. You're supposed to say if you ever dated anyone before Bella.
EDWARD: Of course not.
MARCUS: That's pretty sad.
EDWARD: No it's not. I was just waiting for 'the one'.
EMBRY: The director's Harry Potter scripts say otherwise.
EDWARD: That's ridiculous. Obviously I was never Cedric Diggory in a past life.
EMILY: *sips her tea calmly* Whatever you say, Ced – I mean, Ed…
EDWARD: *rolls eyes and sits down*
NICOLE: Next up is Randomjeesse:
heeey guys! Im soo excited i hope u put this. Ur so good on this, that i send u a big box of chocolates and candies for u, nicole and seth from Mexico from i am, so for my truth: edward its really true that u watch bella sleep ALL the night or u do something else too? And for the dare: i dare u all Volturis to go to a sunny beach in Mexico in speedo and reveal to the humans, so ur breaking ur own rules and Edward tease u all for 10 minutes. So emily and company u know u ROCK! Ohh and Edward i love u please say hi to me and send me greetings to Mexico!
P.S.: Please stop messing with Edwards hair and clothes, if hes wearing something odd please let him change it to her usual style
EMILY: Define 'odd'.
EDWARD: About time! And, 'hi'.
BELLA: Traitor.
EDWARD: *several minutes later, back in his regular attire* Anyway, I usually only watch her sleep about four times a week. On the other nights I find something else to do, just so I'm not being too stalker-ish.
BELLA: You don't have to do that. I don't mind.
NICOLE: *shakes head* Some girls just have no clue, do they?
EMILY AND SETH: *nodding in agreement*
Just then Aro jumps up and throws off his robe to reveal a bright red Speedo. Most of the cast either covers their eyes in horror at this or tries not to laugh.
ARO: Come, Volturi! We're going to the beach today!
MARCUS: It's like he has a completely different personality on this show…
CAIUS: Ah, well. At least we get to have some fun before we go back to our regular lives.
The Volturi race down to a beach in Mexico, making the room seem strangely empty. The staff has sent Edward with them as well with a camera and TOD to do his dare there and get some good pictures of the Volturi in Speedos at the same time.
SETH: While they take their time to do this, this last review is by Little Angel of Love:
OH MY EMMETT! I haven't sent any dares or truths or showed my hate for Jacob *gets smacked in the head by my bff Jess* ow I was just stating the truth. I don't know what to say my fav- not- on- tv show is almost gone *burst into tears* okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk I'm better I want to know what do yall think about the new movie vampires suck I say the guy who plays Jacob is way to hot no offense to Jacob lovers sooooooooooooooooo for a dare hmmmmmmmmm Jacob is to be tasered by everyone inflicted pain on by Jane and shocked to the max by Kate if he is even there. You know just a little something to remebere by. I am really sorry for not sending in dare nd truths I've been workin on my story oh yea none of u get offended by what I wrote if you do you. Will get Beatin with a bat and it will hurt. Yes cower away in fear mwhahahahahahahababaab wow I sound retarded I've been hangin around Jess and mike to much. I love this show nd will miss it.
P.S.- my friends dsay excuse Rosie for way she is about to say
p.s.s.- jacob you are one stupid arrogant mother$&!#%. Yu don't know what no means nd u r a $&!ing perv if you have somethin to say pm me I'll be happyto rey
P.s.s.s- did I mention I cuss like a sailor I started at age 11 nd I'm pretty $&#ing proud of it. Excuse My language esme :)
EMILY: Well, Nicole and I loved the movie. I don't think anyone else here has seen it.
JACOB: We've seen previews, and we're a bit offended by it. *blinks* Why is everyone staring at me like that?
Without warning the entire staff begins tasing Jacob (Emily had to use the taser van because Edward currently has TOD). By the time they're satisfied, Jacob has passed out while they wait for Jane to get back to finish the dare.
NICOLE: Do you suppose they'll be back anytime soon?
EMILY: I doubt it. I'm sure those Volturi can throw some killer beach parties.
SETH: Oh well. Then Jane'll just have to finish after the show when she gets back.
There's a long pause.
EMILY: Maybe we should join them?
NICOLE: Yeah. But how are we supposed to get all the way to Mexico that fast?
BOTH: *slowly turn towards the Cullens*
ESME: What?
EMILY: *jumps on Carlisle's back* Run like the wind, vampire!
And thus, the entire cast and crew had one of the best vampire-werewolf beach parties in the history of everything that lasted well into the wee hours of the morning, complete with uncalled for violence, beach volleyball, Speedos, swimming, sand castles, dancing, drinking, bonfires, and so on and so forth.
OMINOUS VOICEOVER (DEMETRI): Will they all get over their hangovers? Why does nothing seem to make sense on this show? And finally, does Aro actually look good in a Speedo? The answers to these questions and more will be revealing in the next Twilight: Truth or Dare, coming to a computer near you!