Twilight: Truth or Dare: Episode 24
RATING: T for mild language and violence and whatnot
WARNING: I do not own Twilight… obviously
EMILY: Good morning/afternoon/whatever, and welcome back to another episode of Twilight: Truth or Dare!
NICOLE: I see you got your voice back.
EMILY: Yup, I'm back and annoying as ever! But you wouldn't believe the surprisingly large number of not-so-friendly reviews I got back from last time.
NICOLE: Don't worry about it. You just try too hard to make people happy… and you're a bit of a narcissist, but that's just as well.
EMILY: Was it something I said? I mean, it's not my fault I've been exhausted from band camp for nine hours every day…
NICOLE: I said drop it.
SETH: Anyway, uh, in other news the rest of the cast has begun a countdown until the end of the season.
EVERYONE ELSE: Two episodes! Whoo!
SETH: …And with that, I'll start by reading off the first review. It's by TheBlackNotebookWriting:
Hey there awesome Emily!
I really love your story, so congratulations :)
I feel so bad for Esme, I love her. And Seth, of course. But I am Team Jasper, thank you. I don't want to steal Edward. Though, dear Alice, I love you, please take me shopping! I will be your Barbie doll for forever. Make me a vampire please :)
Dare: I dare the werewolves to be the lapdogs/guard dogs for the Volturi for a entire month in Volterra after this show is over (haha, Breaking Dawn spoilery suprises!)
Truth: Jasper, how exactly were you 'rewarded' and 'punished' during your years in the 'South'?
Keep up the good work! :)
LP
JASPER: Well, I'm not quite sure what you mean by that. That is to say, I wasn't exactly ever rewarded or punished…
MARIA: Oh, so I wasn't enough of a reward?
JASPER: You can shut up now.
MARCUS: Do they really have to come home with us?
ARO: Why of course, Marcus. Do you even have to ask? Besides, then the wolves can join us for our Disney marathon! Speaking of which, I've already completed the list of every classic Disney movie I could possible think of, when I stumbled upon the issue of food. Now, do you suppose we'll be supplying the wolves with snacks like popcorn and whatnot, or do they have to bring it themselves? Because it might get a little uncomfortable if—
JANE: *shoots enough pain into Aro to get him to shut up*
NICOLE: Okay, this next review was sent in by ILOVEJACOB BLACK:
wow this is amazing . your an evil genius Emily.
i dare Edward to find Jessica and suck her blood, hehehehe , and i dare Jacob and Bella to fall madly in love with each other(with the help of jasper of course) and i finally i dare Alice to burn all her clothes and wear a trash bag instead.
TEAM JACOB
Edwards okay
Bella doesn't deserve either of them
Jacob is hot with sick abs
Seth is sweet and such a cutie pie
why isn't Bella's dad there ( CHARLIE)
EMILY YOU ROCK!
NICOLE: Charlie's not here because A) it would be a bit much for him to have to take in all at once and B) nobody really needs him here for anything right now.
EDWARD: B-But, that goes against everything I've worked for pretty much my entire existence!
EMILY: Yeah… I'm not sure what it's going to do to the story line, but what the hell! Just go do it.
EDWARD: I won't kill her.
EMILY: Then make her a vampire.
BELLA: Edward can't do that. He hasn't even turned me yet.
EDWARD: Aro would never allow it.
ARO: *dancing around the room in his happy place*
NICOLE: You know, I'm not so sure. This show really has done a number on him.
EDWARD: …Or, you know, someone sane in the Volturi won't allow it.
EMILY: Quit stalling. I know your hesitation is partly because you know that Jasper is going to make Bella and Jacob falling madly in love with each other the second you leave the room.
EDWARD: Okay, yeah. But still-
EMILY: Go, now!
Edward drops his head in shame as he leaves the set to go and turn Jessica. As he does so Jasper makes Jacob and Bella fall in love with each other, as they will be for the rest of the episode. This particularly messed with Renesmee's mind.
SETH: This next review is from… um…
SAM: What's the matter?
SETH: I can't say their username.
JACOB: *while with Bella doing… something else. Interpret as you will* Why not?
SETH: Because, they used a naughty word in it. And in their review. And I'm not supposed to say things like that… And what exactly are you two doing, or do I even want to know?
BELLA: *guilty smile*
SETH: That's… okay, never mind, I'll just say it. This next review is from CrazyEmoWhore:
-Cough- Hello. I need help...I totally forgot how to make Fanfictions because i forgot my other account and i'm a total dumpass D: So could yew help me? My names Leah. And i just gotta say yewr f***ing amazing. I luf this story XD! Anyhoo. I could seriously use some help o: If yew can anyways. And for a truth or dare..Dare:Leah has to make-out with Rosalie and then Alice and Truth:Leah has to say if she liked making-out with them. :D
EMILY: I don't see why not. PM me and I'll see what I can do.
NICOLE: Slasher, eh?
ROSALIE, ALICE, AND LEAH: No way.
ARO: Hey, you never know until you try it.
And so, Leah does end up eventually making out with Alice and Rosalie after a long stream of protests. Edward just happened to have come back feeling rather guilty for making Jessica a vampire and walked in at a very awkward moment between both Jacob and Bella and Leah and Rosalie. Afterwards…
LEAH: It was certainly different, but no, and I can't say I enjoyed it.
EMILY: Now for EdwardILoveYou:
EMILY! NICOLE! I missed u guys soooooo much! Hows the cast? Every1 good? R u sure? Esme did u like my hair grower? The Presents?
Okay good! *Hugs* Okay so I got u a present!
A NEW SET!
Check it out! Its pretty big! It has everyones bedroom style. Emily's room. Nicoles room. More nerds. Pretty cool eh? My favorite part is the Truth or Dare room! On 1 side of the room is exactly 193,451 buttons! Push them 2 c what happens! New weapons, candy and...people!
Okay for truth: Jacob(I hate u 4 torturing Bella!) what is the most erm well ya know...Bella thought? Besides sex with unicorn there has 2 b some kind of something!
Sam I hate ur guts so bad I want to throw u under a bus! Leah...I dont partically like u. Sorry. Ur a bitter cold person.
Okay Sam GET OF EDWARDS LAP(JUSTICE LAST!) THATS MY JOB! And go sit on Alecs lap!
THis is long yes!
Oh and check out the other sides! Alice! I got u a whole new line of clothes in ur room! GO PARTY!
Emily Im in the audinence! I promise I wont talk but can I b a special guest?
BYE! Edward heres a button! Only push it when u dont wanna do a dare! Good 4 3 dares! Love u!
SAM: Curses. *migrates over to Alec's lap*
EDWARD: Freedom! *staring in awe at the magic button*
NICOLE: A new set? Isn't it a little late in the season for that?
EMILY: Well, we can always use it next season. Can't wait to test out all the buttons… You know how I am around buttons.
NICOLE: Alright, calm down. You can wait until after this episode to explore.
EMILY: Aw…
JACOB: Nope, not really. Not even I would have gone much farther than the unicorn thing.
NICOLE: All right, here's the last review for the day… possibly, which was sent in by an I3Demetri:
OMC Emily you are as evil as me and my best friend on chocolate! Anyway really awesome story! Demetri I LOVE you!
So, I dare Edward, Jacob, and Emmett to sing "Single Ladies( Put a Ring on It)by Beyonce wearing the costumes from the video.
For my Truth Jacob how does it make you feel that Stephenie Meyer killed you in Forever Dawn?
P. is a huge box of candy!
P.P.S. Why does Everyone hate Bella? It is unfair! Bella you and everyone else are AWESOME!
NICOLE: And lucky you, we just happen to have a set of costumes from the Single Ladies music video stashed in Alice's closet on the new set!
EMILY: I knew there was something we've always been missing on this show.
BELLA: Hey, at least you're not wearing the orange bodysuit anymore.
JACOB: That's okay, Bells, I think the Spandex makes you look hot.
BELLA: Oh, Jakie!
EDWARD: Okay, will you two stop doing that?
JASPER: …Sorry.
EMILY: *off in her own little world again* Omc? What does that mean, oh my cat? Oh my… cactus? Citrus fruit? Carnie?
NICOLE: *pats her on the back* Slow down there, Em, you don't want to hurt yourself.
Edward, Jacob, and Emmett change into their Beyonce attire and reenter the room. Turns out not only do they sing the song, but they also have learned the dance from the video as well… Strange, yes, but we won't get into how they learned that for now.
BEYONCE BRIGADE:
Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh
woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh
ESME: Well that was certainly… interesting.
JASPER: I feel rather enlightened, having seen that.
JACOB: And for the record, I don't care what anyone says about me anymore. I've seen some of the yaoi fan art the director forced upon me and heard her read multiple reviews with mixed opinions about me. And don't think I haven't peeked at other fan fictions.
EMBRY: You know, I don't know if you heard her right. She said Meyers kills you off.
JACOB: *eyes well up* B-But I thought she liked me!
EMILY: Well, that's all I've got for now. Remember, only one more episode after this, so let's make it count!
ALL: Whoo!
EMILY: Hey! Don't pretend that this hasn't been fun. But alas, I must eventually move on with my life… Plus, I have an unbelievably very short attention span and can't believe I stuck with this that long in the first place. In any case, until I see y'all next time! Buh-byeee!