Twilight: Truth or Dare: Episode 25
RATING: T for mild language and violence and whatnot
WARNING: I do not own Twilight… obviously
EMILY: I apologize for not being able to get here sooner… my computer broke, which kind of sucks for me. In any case, I see you guys didn't hesitate to throw a party. You could've at least waited until after the season finale.
NICOLE: Well, they were excited.
EMILY: Still. And even after I waited to give people time to send in any last-minute reviews and took the time to go through all of them and pick some of the best ones for this last episode…
NICOLE: You mean you just chose the ones with the best bribes?
EMILY: No. No, not necessarily true. I mean, a contributing factor to my decision, sure, but otherwise no.
NICOLE: Whatever you say. But I suppose you're right; we should enjoy this final episode before we go off-air, because god knows when you'll ever feel like writing a second season.
EMILY: Hey, you never know. As long as there are minions – erm, fans – to carry on our legacy, the show will never truly die. Plus, apparently someone's writing a spinoff about us as we speak.
SETH: Guys, are we going to start the Truth or Dare before everyone gets too carried away or what?
EMILY: Alright, alright, we're coming. *sits down and hands Seth a stack of index cards*
SETH: *reading off the cards* Okay, so it looks like our last first review of the day is from XxEvilMasterMindxX:
Awesome chapter! You are the freakin bet Emily! Ok so these are my truths and dares.
Truth:(all vamps) which Wolf would you want to be stuck in for 5 hours?
Truth:(all wolves) which Vamp would you want to be attached to by glue for two days?
You must all answer this 'cause I know where you all f-ckin live! I can kill all vamps and wolves with my special knife!
Dare: can't really think of one so no dare.
P.S Team Jacob! Jane I so damn wish I can have your freakin power. I would use it on my damn stalkers! Leah you rule! Seth you are my fave wolf ever *waves at you franticly* Jake your after him then after you it's do so many people hate the Volturi? They are awesome!
EMILY: Woah. Violence.
NICOLE: You're one to talk…
EMMETT: Stuck in? Like, get eaten by?
JASPER: I think they mean 'stuck to'.
EMMETT: Still, why would I want to do that?
ALICE: Oh, just shut up and answer the question. I guess if I had to pick one of them, maybe Seth? I mean, he did kind of go to the dark side with the staff of this show, but I suppose he's the least annoying.
VAMPIRES: *nods of agreement*
SAM: *offending* Least annoying? What's that supposed to mean?
JACOB: Two days is a long time. *trying to picture being attached to a vampire by glue* So… I'm guessing it would have to be really sticky glue, right?
LEAH: Obviously.
JACOB: But how would we use the bathroom?
EMBRY: *shrugs*
JACOB: Okay. Well, I hate Edward, so that's out, and Felix is a complete spazz.
ARO: Hey, he's gotten better since we started ignoring him.
COLLIN: What about Carlisle or Esme? They don't see that bad.
JACOB: Alright, fine, I'll pick Carlisle.
SAM: Weirdo. I'm going with Esme.
WOLVES: *pick either one or the other*
NICOLE: Next we have one from Myfuzzywolf:
EMILY! NICOLE! U guys are UBERTASTIC! Seth u r totally adorable! Now I'm going 2 shamelessly bribe u guys 2 put up my review by wiring $1million 2 all 3 of ur accounts, Emily, Nicole & Seth. I hope u do me proud by spending the money completely irresponsibly & shamelessly flaunting ur purchases. Oh … & could u let us know how u spend it? Before getting 2 the Truth or Dare, I want 2 correct a mistake that was made in the last episode; no worries Jacob, Stephenie Meyer didn't kill u in Forever Dawn, she 3 u. If u go 2 her website & read the FAQs 4 Breaking Dawn, she outlines Forever Dawn & states "The wolves kill Victoria. She is the only casualty… " Now onto the business of the day, the Truth or Dare.
Dare: Jacob I'm going 2 give u some evil pleasure, I dare u 2 taser Edward 4 2hrs straight.
Truth: All the wolves (except Seth of course because that would be gross!) have 2 tell Leah if they have sneaked a peek while she is phasing & how often. U have to tell the truth wolves because Emily has superpowers & will know if u are lying. Leah gets 2 retaliate by attacking the offender(s) with a taser. Leah gets to taser the offender(s) for an hour, each.
*sighs with complete satisfaction* My job here is done.
EMILY: *salutes* Consider it done!
JACOB: I'm sorry, was that a 'for two hours straight' or '42 hours straight?'
EDWARD: Very funny.
As Edward is being tasered…
SETH: Yes, that would be rather gross.
EMBRY: It was an accident, I swear!
SAM: *begins counting fingers*
LEAH: *takes TOD II out for a little joy ride*
NICOLE: Well, I don't suspect we'll be getting out tasers back anytime soon.
EMILY: That's okay. I've been sketching out some designs for our season two weapons of mass destruction.
NICOLE: How are we going to afford that? We're still trying to figure out how to do a decent cosplay on a low-income freshman budget.
EMILY: If there's a will, there's a way. Then there's also my piggy bank donation box that's currently propping the door open.
NICOLE: *raises an eyebrow*
EMILY: Work with me here.
SETH: *skimming through reviews* Wow. Who knew we had so many relatives living in the future?
EMILY: I know, it surprised me two.
NICOLE: I wonder how they keep contacting us?
EMILY: Spooky.
NICOLE: Yeah, maybe you should just skip over those for now to avoid any confusion.
SETH: Good idea. In that case, then here's a review from Max ride vs. Sparkly vamps:
TEAM E-M-I-L-Y!
Ok, I want Seth to taser a character OF HIS CHOICE for 15 minutes, while the victims girlfriend describes whats happening. I want Quil to taser Claire OR Jared to taser Kim OR Sam to taser Emily!
I want Edward to tell us- has he ever had a girlfriend before Bella? If he has, he has to describe her in detail. Then I want Emily to conjure her up and Bella is allowed to taser her for 30 mins!
Rosalie makes out w/ Edward, Bella makes out w/ Jasper and Alice makes out with Emmett. They then say whether they preferred their girlfriend/boyfriend, or the person they just made out with.
I am an evil person sometimes! And since I am sooooooooooooooooo hyper, I want Alice, Edward, Jasper and Emmett to get high somehow!
SETH: *nervous* Who should I taser?
EMILY: Honestly, Seth. I thought you were over that innocent guilt phase. What kind of Padawan are you?
SAM: C'mon, Seth. We used to be friends before you went and joined the dark side. If anyone should be tasered it should be the vampires, not us! Especially not me. Again.
EMMETT: Wait a minute… Aren't Jedis supposed to be the good guys? And isn't the dark side, you know, evil?
JASPER: I suppose, but it's more complex than that. You see, the dark side is actually-
EMMETT: No one asked you, Exhibition Vampire!
SETH: Maybe I should taser… *still debating*
JANE: Just taser Felix and be done with it.
CARLISLE: He can't do that. After everything that Felix has been through…
ESME: And he just started to recover too.
SETH: Well, I suppose it is the season finale.
Seth eventually decided to taser Felix, hoping that he had somehow become immune to it since earlier events. He hadn't, and thus remains both emotionally scarred and traumatized for the rest of his existence.
EMILY: I will now do the honors of reading out very last review. Ever. …Maybe. Anyway, this one's from ColorfulFREAKx3:
Hello everyone! First of all, I'd like to say its sad that this story is coming to an end, but I guess the Cullens, Voltori, and Werewolves are pretty glad to get out of this prison! Anyway, for my truth.. Carlilse, who do you regret most changing into a vampire. He has to answer or will get tazered! For dare.. Emmet, I dare you to put two balloons under your shirt in your chest area and walk around a busy street singing 'California Girls'. Love you Edward, Jacob, Jasper, Carilise and Emmet, and everyone else :D
CARLISLE: You guys love the tough ones, don't you?
ALICE: That is kind of the point of a truth.
CARLISLE: Then… first off I'd like to say that I don't regret what I've done, since everything seemed to have turned out all right up until this show started, but aside from that, if I had to pick one I'd probably have to say Rosalie.
ROSALIE: Gee, thanks.
CARLISLE: I'm just saying if I had to pick one. You did pull that little bride stunt, remember?
ROSALIE: I suppose… But still.
EMMETT: Don't worry; strutting about with balloons under my shirt is what I do best.
ROSALIE: I wish you wouldn't intentionally try to embarrass me.
EMILY: Hey, we learned a fun dance to that song in color guard, if you'd like me to show you.
EMMETT: Um. No thanks.
Emmett leaves to do the last dare of the season. Afterwards, once everyone has run their ass out of the truth or dare room and as far away from the staff as possible…
EMILY: Well. I guess that's it, then. And I thought they wouldn't stuck around a little longer to shake hands, say it was nice working with us or something like that.
NICOLE: We apologize for the lack of imaginative, bittersweet and/or cheesy, otherwise happy ending.
EMILY: What are we, miracle workers? At least I can finally sign off with this message: The End!