DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN SOUL

Currently Soul was squeezing himself in random spots inside the bathtub as his miester laid beneath him. His sexual frustrations had finally gotten to him. Besides with that prancing freak residing in their home what else was there to do? But like everything else something had to go wrong for the poor demon scythe. As he was placing kisses amongst his loves neck said lover pushed him away.

"Maka it's not cool to reject my sexual needs after I begin them." Soul barked as he attempted to continue his task while annoying the song floating to their ears from the back bedroom.

"He's in my room Soul. What are we going to do?" Maka asked as her partner groped her chest.

"Not cool Maka. I am trying to be affectionate but it sort of ruins the mood if "it" is on your mind and not me. And so help me if I place my hands any lower and you're ready because of him I will leave you right now." Soul snarled as he tried to confirm his fear. Such a pessimist.

"Don't worry I know what you're doing and so does my body but I can't just sit here while it raids my room. I mean my books are in there going through hell." Maka whimpered. Soul sighed knowing that as long as her books were in danger he wasn't getting laid.

"Maka I need sex, I need sex or I will explode. Seriously I've done it before." Soul rambled as he tried to regain his miesters lost attention.

"There's a toilet right there and you're hands are working fine." Maka rebottled as she attempted to sit up. Soul would have none of that as he pushed her back done. His eyes had gone manic as he stared at his love.

"Maka I am a very sexually frustrated teen and no cane wielding weapon is going to stop me from having sex with my girlfriend. It can take my house-" soul started.

"Our house." Maka kindly interrupted.

"It can eat my food."

"Or food."

"But no way in hell is it going to-" but before he could finish the bathroom door jerked open to reveal Excalibur.

"FOOL'S!" it shouted as he pointed his cane at them. Soul groaned as Maka sat up and climbed over to the weapon.

"What's wrong Excalibur?" she asked tiredly as Soul walked towards the door.

"I require a large king crab from the middle of the Atlantic ocean." He instructed. Both miester and weapon stared dumbstruck at the news.

"Can you even get that in a store?" Soul finally asked.

"FOOL'S!" he yelled waving his cane again as both Maka and Soul dodged for cover.

"FOOL'S I DEMAND YOU- " He said pointing his cane at Soul. "TO GO AND RETRIEVE MY CRAB." Soul glanced at Maka before calmly walking to his room. Maka tilted her head in confusion at Soul's sudden blank wavelength. Suddenly maniacal laughter was heard as Soul reappeared grinning sadistically. He had either snapped or fallen victim to black blood finally.

"Um Soul are you ok?" Maka asked worried for her boyfriend's sanity.

"Let's see Maka by the time we reach Excalibur's home it will be midnight. So We will have full filled our mission and returned the sword back to its rightful place with the pretty fairies." He laughed clearly having gone insane. It took all of five minuet's before the young blonde had Soul driving his bike towards the sunset and the holy sword trapped in her satchel.

"I am so getting laid after this." Soul told his miester after they exited the city limits.

"Fine but you have to write your part of the essay on the crappy sword." She informed him.

"Fair enough." Soul replied as Excalibur's theme song played in his head. Damn song.