Chapter 5- Living With Your Mistakes

"What? No, I explained to you before that it couldn't be mine," Tom shouted, trying to be heard over Cecilia's wild sobs.

Her sobs were cut off immediately, and she took a deep breath and sat up straighter, trying to regain her composure. "Right after you cast the spell," she said, rubbing her bloodshot eyes, "It was like I was reliving the conception over again. No, not reliving, more like watching it happen," she corrected herself, seeming to be deep in thought. "I was standing in a dimly lit room, and it was cold. Very cold. The smell of alcohol was strong, and every now and then I would hear bursts of laughter. One time, I heard myself laugh, and I turned around to see you and I sitting together on a couch. We both had some kind of alcoholic drink in our hands, and we both were laughing hysterically. And then I leaned forward and…" She put her hands over her face, "I can't say it. Anyway, I just couldn't watch that, so I turned around to get a better look of the room, and that's when I realized where I was standing. It was the Slytherin common room. Right then, somebody shouted drunkenly that they were going to tell Professor Snape what was going on. That's when your friend, what's his name? Oh yes, Zion, he stood up and told the other person to sit down if they knew what was good for them. The person didn't listen, and continued walking toward the door. Then Zion pulled out his wand and hexed the person. Then he proceeded to say something, which I assume was a Memory Erasing Charm, and well, everything seemed to get blurry after that. The last clear image I had was of you and I…" She cringed. "No, there is no question, you were definitely the father." Cecilia began to weep again.

Tom sat rigid and completely speechless. The child was his. He just killed his child. If he had only known…

"So Zion must've cast a Memory Erasing Charm on the whole room. The only thing I can't understand though, Tom, is why you would even go to one of those parties."

Tom shook his head and waved his hand at the question. "That's not really the point, is it? The point is that I just killed my child. It wasn't some damn Ravenclaw's, it was mine." For some reason, he couldn't stop putting emphasis on the "my".

"But you said it'd be better off if I didn't carry it," Cecilia said, obviously confused. She didn't think Tom would be that upset by the news.

"I also told myself that if I ever had a child, I'd raise it better than my parents could've ever raised me," he muttered.

"So is that what this all comes down to?" Cecilia asked. "You holding a grudge about the fact that you grew up in an orphanage?"

"It has to do with the fact that I just killed an unborn baby!"

"Well you didn't seem so bothered by that a few moments ago, when you still thought the child was Laurence's!" Cecilia shouted, her eyes growing wide.

"Well a few minutes ago I wasn't a father!"

"And you still aren't now!"

Silence.

Tom put his head in his hands and leaned down. He should be happy about this, shouldn't he? Now he won't have to worry about having to provide for a child, about all the Slytherins torturing him... Still, Tom was secretly looking forward to the chance to become a father. He always dreamed about how well he'd be able to parent his child, how much better a father he'd be than his good-for-nothing father was to him. Now that chance was gone, and it was completely his fault. Of course, Cecilia was better off, now nobody would tease her or embarrass her. Yet, as Tom sat there, he could just imagine what good parents they both would make. Tom would go out and get a job in the Ministry, and Cecilia would stay home and care for the child. They'd make the perfect family.

Tom still had his head down as he heard Cecilia stand up and sigh. "There's nothing we can do about it now, Tom," she sighed. "What's done is done. We can still stay friends, right?" she asked, a twinge of hope in her voice.

Tom couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed at her words. Only friends. That's all she wanted to be. She was probably laughing inside at the absurdity at ever raising a child at Tom. She's a Mudblood, Tom reminded himself. You wouldn't want to be seen with her anyway. You can definitely do better than her.

"I guess," Tom said, sounding annoyed.

"Well then," Cecilia said, wiping away the final tears falling down her face, "I'm quite tired after all this, er, excitement, so I'm just going to go to bed." She smiled weakly at Tom. "See you at breakfast?"

"Sure," he said quietly, standing up. Cecilia walked out of the room, with him following behind her.

Even though it was very late, there were still a few stranglers left in the Slytherin common room, including Zion. Tom scowled at him as soon as he entered the room.

"What's the problem, Tom?" Zion asked, obviously oblivious.

"Oh I don't know," Tom said sarcastically, "I was just wondering how many times you've erased my memory before."

Zion's eyes widened slightly, but he kept his composure. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"And when was the last time you threw a drinking party? Was it yesterday? Or the day before that? Or-"

"Zion would never do something like that!" shouted another fifth year Tom only recognized by face.

"Oh no? I bet you were at every single drinking party he's ever thrown. Do you know why you don't remember? Because the bloody git erased all of our memories!"

"Shut up!" Zion shouted, jumping to his feet.

"Maybe he even has drinking parties every night," Tom continued. "Not that we would know, because like I said, he's erasing our memories! What else have you done before erasing our memories? Have you ever stolen anything from us? Perhaps I should go tell Professor Snape..." Tom gave Zion a death glare.

The fifth year that had just defended Zion was sitting wide-eyed, staring at Zion in shock. "Is that true, Zi?" he asked.

"I'm done with you," Zion muttered to Tom, and pulled out his wand. Tom immeidiately pulled out his own wand, and before Zion even had the chance to mutter a silly, little hex, Tom had him in a full body-bind.

Tom stood over Zion, smiling. "Never think you can get away with something like that. And try it again, and I will find out, and you will be punished." With that, Tom walked tiredly off to bed.

The next morning, Tom arrived at the Hufflepuff table to find Cecilia already sitting there, nibbling nervously on a piece of toast.

"What's the matter?" Tom asked, yawning, as he sat down across from her.

"I had a nightmare last night," she murmured, frowning.

"What was it about?" Tom began to gulp down orange juice.

"The baby."

Tom nearly spit out the orange juice, and proceeded to have a coughing fit. "What (cough) about the (cough) baby?" he asked.

"It just appeared to me and was telling me that I shouldn't have killed it. That it would've made a great child, and that it's upset that I did away with it."

"What did it look like?" Tom asked eagerly, curious to find out what his child would've looked like.

"I don't remember," Cecilia said, her eyebrows forming a V.

"Well," Tom began, "You were very upset last night, so it's logical that you would have a dream like that."

"But what if it keeps coming back to haunt me?" Cecilia whispered. "What if it keeps haunting me for the rest of my life?" She dropped her head. "I'm already regretting this."

"That makes two of us," Tom muttered to himself.

"Just tell me everything is going to turn out okay," Cecilia plead weakly with him. Her face was again covered in fresh tears, and her eyes were puffier than ever. Tom noticed for the first time that morning that her hair wasn't even brushed.

"I can't tell you that," Tom said, looking sadly at her.

That seemed to be more than Cecilia could take, for she stood up, and with a quick "I have to go", ran out of the Great Hall.

Tom leaned his head against the table and closed his eyes, trying to imagine a life where he and Cecilia were the parents of a beautiful child.

He sat up suddenly, shaking away the thought. It's no use to think like that, he thought to himself. Blinking a couple of times, he pushed back the tears that were on the verge of falling down his face. Tom Riddle never cries, he reminded himself.

It was then that Tom realized that this might be one problem that neither of them would be able to overcome.

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I must say, I really enjoy writing this story, and I hope you like reading it. As I always say, (and this is probably becoming old fast so I'll only say it only once) REVIEW! Cause it makes me happy. =D