I think, from now on, I'll be responding to reviews in reviews of my own.
zzzzz
The train ride home was quiet. Going out on their training trip, Ranma had felt a disquieting sense of foreboding, easily chalked up to worrying about Akane's cooking. But now... There was a sense of loss.
The old ghoul had been right about one thing. If he did marry Akane, there were a few people who would be miserable about it without her raising a finger. Two, in fact.
Ultimately, his Tendo fiancée's cooking skills weren't that important. Akane would either improve, or she would make herself really sick one day, and just give up.
But someone who made their fiancé sleep outside the tent for two weeks because she feared he would molest her... What did that say about their chances together?
Gah! This was too confusing. Sometimes, just sometimes, he thought they shared those beautiful moments that made him think it could work. But then, this training trip had showed him something. He could not go on long training trips with Akane. And that opened up a pit in his stomach that made him feel slightly nauseus. Because he needed these trips. And what kind of marriage would they have if he went away for years - or even just months, with her staying behind? Would they end up like Genma and Nodoka? He didn't like that thought one bit.
The train started slowing down as it neared their station. There was a giant panda waiting on the platform. It was holding up a sign that read "The lovebirds!".
He sighed.
zzzzz
They came back late on a sunday, so next day was a school day. He had been behind in schoolwork to begin with, and the two weeks' trip to the countryside hadn't helped.
Beyond that he had come back to find that a rumour was floating around school that he and Akane had eloped. He could only guess which moneygrubbing mercenary had set that one in motion.
And then Gosunkugi had rebuilt his altar, and had spent most of the day holed up in a toilet giving out headaches to people he didn't like.
When Ranma finally realised the little sorcerer wannabe was the reason 50% of the school suffered from headaches once again he had tracked the boy down and taken away all of his equipment. but like last time, it looked like the headache he already had would stay for a day or two.
He had meant to visit Cologne today, but with Gosunogi's headache to top off all the other things to happen that day he just didn't have the energy, and he went straight home.
The idea that he might visit Kodachi never entered his mind. Which, in retrospect, he might consider somewhat unfortunate.
zzzzz
Tuesday morning started off really, really well.
"Sorceress! My pigtailed sorceress!"
Ranma froze. But then he very quickly remembered that just maybe this was going to be the first time he was truly glad to see Kuno.
He turned around, eyelashes fluttering.
"I- You have returned! Oh pigtailed girl, I have been looking, I thought... I thought the vile spirit within you had driven you away from this place, now that I hold the cure!"
Ranma moved through the throng, and threw himself on Kuno in the girliest hug he could stomach. "You, you have it? Them, I mean? You have the cursed water?"
Kuno took a deep breath, and returned the hug. Ranma shivered.
"I do," he said. They are in my house as we speak. Oh pigtailed-"
Ranma cut him off, and wriggled loose of the hug. There was only so much girly he could do, even if the prize was the restoration of his manhood. "Kuno my hero!" he squealed. Will you- will you bring them tonight? For me?"
"My pigtailed- But of course! Yes, yes, I shall appear at your doorstep. I shall ride in and I shall save you from your hideous doom! I shall-!"
"Good, good," Ranma said. "Now remember, I need the Nannichuan as well, okay?" The Nyannichuan on its own is not enough."
Kuno nodded, moving in for another hug, which Ranma dodged. "Yes, yes, I know. I understand. Oh you poor thing. But together we shall-!"
"That's great!" Ranma interjected. "And remember, don't under any circumstances let any pandas or people know about this, okay?"
Kuno nodded solemnly, as though keeping secrets from wild animals didn't register as anything too out of the ordinary. "I understand. The only people who know are my sister and Nabiki."
"Nabiki?" Ranma screeched, causing people to turn and look.
"But pigtailed one, she is the one who ordered the water for me!"
Ranma's heart slowly settled down. Well, there was perhaps no way around that.
He allowed himself to relax a little. This just might work... "Remember to keep it secret, ok? Especially from pandas and little piglets."
Kuno nodded solemnly again.
Ranma looked his prospective saviour up and down. Perhaps, just maybe, there would come a day when he didn't dislike him anymore.
zzzzz
But there were other things on his mind as well. He had to talk to Cologne. If Shampoo had stopped loving him, hurt male pride aside, she might be in trouble. And if Cologne was wrong that he might fall in love with her, she was right in thinking that he would care.
When school let up, he made his way to the cat café.
The new waitress, a local woman, was busy serving customers.
"Yo, the old mummy in?" he asked.
The waitress turned to him and nodded, before going back to work.
He entered the kitchen.
"Oy!" he directed at the room in general.
A duck quacked profanely from a cage under one of the tables.
Cologne came in on her staff from a side room. "Good afternoon," she said.
"What's up with him?" Ranma asked, gesturing toward Mousse.
Cologne snapped her eyes over to glare at the blind creature. "He's being kept from stirring up trouble."
"What'd he do?" Ranma asked.
"Nothing yet," answered the old woman, glare intensifying. Her eyes moved back to Ranma. "Now what do you want?"
That was a bit unfriendlier than he had expected.
"Err... Talk?" he asked, taken aback.
She turned her head slowly to one side. "Yes?"
Ranma's eyes darted back to Mousse. Should we really talk with him here?"
Cologne snorted. "He'll be locked up for a while regardless of what you have to say."
Ranma frowned. "Right..."
He looked at her silently.
She returned his look in way that made it very clear he would have to be the one who got the conversation rolling.
"So..." he said. Well, this was it. He'd just have to ask it straight out.
"Has Shampoo given up?"
Cologne smiled faintly.
There was a howl from the cage. Cologne smacked it with her staff, her smile disappearing.
"Yes, Ranma," she said.
Ranma's heart beat faster. "Why?" he asked. "Doesn't she love me anymore?"
Cologne's smile returned, but it was a tired smile. "Of course she does," she said gently.
Ranma stretched her arms out. "Then why?" he demanded.
Cologne looked him in the eye. "She gave up because she loves you."
Silence stretched, interrupted only by the howling and head against steel bashing of one miserable duck.
"How'd you figure that?" Ranma asked.
Cologne sighed. "Shampoo gave up, because she thought she could see that: A, you didn't love her, after all this time, and B, her presence here only made things more difficult for you, with Akane's jealousy and all the other chaos in Nerima."
"But..." Ranma tried to find words. "But why didn't she tell me?"
The duck's howls were cut short in an anguished gurgling sound as Cologne hit some sort of pressure point with her staff.
"Because she couldn't see you again and still bring herself to leave."
Ranma flinched.
"But she... she has been gone for two months," he said, quietly.
Cologne looked at him, a lot gentler than when he first had come in.
He looked her in the eye. "What about the laws?"
Cologne shrugged tiredly. "I don't think she thought about them when she made her decision."
"But what do they say? What happened to Shampoo when she went back to China?"
"There was a trial set, of course."
"Well?" he demanded. What did they do to her?"
"It's against Amazon law to speak of such matters with outsiders," the old woman said, slowly.
Ranma was about to protest, when Cologne held up a finger.
She gestured to the duck. "So you know nothing other than that she is in trouble, are we clear?"
She gave him a penetrating stare. His eyes focused on Mousse, who lay unconcious in his cage. Had she taken him out so that he wouldn't be able to hear this particular part?
"Ok," he said.
Cologne smiled. "Good. Now, you know we take honour very seriously in Nyuchiehzu, Ranma.
"Yes?"
"Like yourself, some of us feel the occasional bending of a rule isn't a violation, but... In Shampoo's case, that was not possible this time."
"Well?"
"As is usual, in serious cases, it was left to the one standing trial to decide her own future."
Ranma stared at the insane woman. "You let people decide their own sentences?"
The Matriarch shrugged. "In matters of honour. If she were to pass no judgement on herself, she would be allowed to do so..."
"...But that would take away from her honour," Ranma finished, understanding dawning. "And from yours, since you are her family."
"That is so," Cologne agreed.
Ranma thought through this new information. "So what did she do?"
Cologne's smile showed teeth. "She challanged the wisdom of the law."
Ranma's jaw fell. "What?"
"She said that while the laws had bound her to you in the first place, her love for you had shown her the unjustice of the law."
"How'd she figure that?"
"Ultimately, she said that you had shown yourself so great a warrior that it would be wrong to impose her will over yours. And as it was both love that bound her to you and love that kept you from her, the evil done to you by taking you back against your will would outweigh the good of the Joketsuzoku."
Ranma stood silent for a moment. "But... that it's unfair to me is what I've been saying all this time!"
Cologne glared up at him. "Yes, but you are an idiot."
"But you just said Shampoo-"
"My great granddaughter is apparently an idiot as well," she cut him off. "Tell me, Ranma, except for having to leave Akane behind, what bad do you think would come of becoming Shampoo's husband?"
"I- I'd get dragged back to Nyuchiehzu and be her slave, for one!"
"Ranma, if that was the case, do you think Shampoo would have considered it such a romantic thing whenever you saved her from danger?"
He raised his finger and opened his mouth... and couldn't find any clearcut answer to that.
"Furthermore," Cologne continued, "What do you think would be th point of the Kiss of Marriage? Find strong men, carry them back home and have them do the dishes?"
Ranma frowned. Well, that wasn't a question he had considered. Ok, so how about-
"Hey ghoul," he said, "If you're so good to the men you catch, how come you treat Mousse the way you do?"
Cologne poked at the unconscious duck in his cage. "Mousse is a nuisance and is treated as such. We treat him badly because he gives us no reason to respect him. He has been free to leave the whole year since we came here. I'm holding him now because I don't want him running home to make trouble for Shampoo."
That was a bit hard to argue with. Okay, well, how about...
Ranma tried to tell himself he wasn't grabbing at straws. "Then why did she want to drag me back all that time?"
"She wanted to introduce you to her parents. She wanted them to be proud that she had a man they could respect."
"And then... what?" he asked. "I could have just left?"
"If that was your wish, but I can only assume she would want to go with you."
"On training trips?"
"On training trips, or to move away permanently. If you actually stayed there a few months, though, I doubt you would ever want to leave without the prospect of coming back."
Ranma sat down. There were too many things swirling around in his head. And he still had some of that headache Gosunkugi had given him the day before.
Then he looked up. "If I was wrong about all those things, how come Shampoo herself told the elders it would be wrong to force me to go back?"
"Because," Cologne said, and her voice was gentle, "She loves you. And she thought that if would make you happier if she gave up."
"What?" he whispered.
"If you thought that the person you loved, Ranma, was in love with someone else, wouldn't you eventually just slink back into the shadows and disappear?"
And then a memory surfaced. He remembered what he himself had felt when he thought Akane was in love with the Shinnosuke boy from Ryugenzawa...
He could understand something of what Shampoo must have felt when she decided to leave. It made him feel sick.
And she had stayed away for two months.
He looked up at Cologne, and found his voice a little hoarse. "I... didn't know she thought of me that way."
Cologne hopped up on one of the tables, and put a hand on his shoulder. "I dare say there there are a few males every generation who are bigger fools than you."
She sounded like she was joking, but he didn't laugh.
He sat still a little while.
Then he asked "What happens with Shampoo, then?"
"Well," Cologne said, "I don't know."
"You don't know?" he asked.
"It's up to her. But as she has challanged the wisdom of a law, she must prove herself worthy of speaking against against laws set down by by her elders' elders."
That was a worryingly authoritarian way to put it.
"And how could she do that?" he asked.
"Trial by quest," Cologne said, smugly.
"Trial by- What kind of ridiculous quest was she sent on?"
The Matriarch of the Amazons shrugged again. "I don't know. Shampoo hadn't decided yet when I returned to Japan."
"But haven't you had any letters or anything?"
"Sure I have. But it was decided that Shampoo would travel around China, and return once she had found a quest she thought worthy of such a trial."
"So Shampoo's travelling China right now?"
"Yes."
"When's she coming back to Nyuchiehzu?"
"When she has found a quest she thinks worthy of the trial."
"So she isn't coming back until the quest is complete?"
"Of course she is. She must present it before the council in open session before she may go to fulfill it."
"In open session?"
"That means the whole village may see and hear."
"Right?"
"While on her quest, Shampoo will not be considered part of the tribe. Stating the quest in open session allows her to depart without shame, until the outcome has been decided."
"But..." Ranma gestured to Mousse. "Won't people like him interfere if they know?"
"They may," Cologne said. "That is part of the trial. Normally, strong warriors wishing to court her would offer their assistance, but as it is the Kiss of Mariage the trial concerns... I doubt that any but the most thick headed," she poked at Mousse with the staff, "members of the tribe will try anything."
Ranma was a little overwhelmed by the sheer mass of new information.
Finally he gathered himself. "How dangerous a quest do you think she will pick?"
Cologne smiled again. "Put yourself in her shoes, Ranma. What kind of quest would you choose if you wanted to overturn 4000 years of tradition and clear your name at the same time?
zzzzz
Two points: While Shampoo isn't a brooding kind of person, I don't feel it out of character for her to eventually try to step back for the sake of Ranma's (perceived) happiness. If Cologne had just left him be, no doubt he wouldn't have had to think about the consequences of her choice. As it is, Shampoo saw a way out that didn't hurt Ranma, and after the end of the manga, is it so strange that she would think he might never warm up to her?
I mean, he will, obviously, but thinking that he wouldn't allowed her to make a sacrifice for his sake she thought he would never find out about. So that's, like, major girlfriend points right there.
Point two: There will be cursed water at the Tendos', next chapter.