A Fair Distance: Running on Empty. Chapter Twelve
Eavesdropping on his ex-lover was wrong, but Jim had decided he could live with himself for doing it. Still, while waiting in his truck this morning and listening to Blair take a shower and get dressed, Jim felt maybe he had skirted the edge of stalking. Strangely enough, he had never felt that way the times he had invaded Blair's personal space, when he and Blair had first lived together. At least Blair'd never realized Jim would casually check on what Blair had been doing in the shower or in his room. The transition from friends to lovers only meant that Jim felt free to join Blair in the shower, instead of just listening to his friend touching wet skin.
Jim grimaced, though, knowing Blair would have called him severely on the surveillance he had run on Blair's work place if the kid had had any idea Jim had parked a few streets over from that sleazy bar and watched him flirt with the customers.
And… now he was parked outside of the Sweetwater Justice Center, popping Tic-tacs in his mouth so he would have a strong mint taste to counterbalance the extension on his sense of hearing. Jim was being careful since his senses only came back on-line yesterday; he didn't want to chance a zone, since he couldn't touch Blair right now. He felt semi-compelled to locate his guide, so he gave his conscience a pretty decent rationalization; he needed to check on Blair and he didn't have a good reason to be in the police station. He dialed up his hearing again to find out what Blair was doing now.
Jim listened to Blair asking if he could use the phone. While Jim waited for Sandburg to make his call, his thoughts centered on what he was going to do about securing his only lead in the Edward's case. Sandburg's alibi had cleared him, but he was still tied to the case as the only witness to Bergman's probable involvement in Edwards's death.
Jim was sitting on the fence about protective custody. Since he had personal involvement with this witness, he needed to make sure his reasons for placing Blair in custody would pass as correct procedure. But if he was honest with himself - he also wanted to take advantage of being near Sandburg again. He felt a strong yearning to just be near him physically, so his senses could relax. They hadn't felt this good, this strong, and this natural since Blair had left Cascade.
It wasn't just the improvement in his senses; he had to acknowledge that he still had strong emotions about Blair. A year of ignoring his feelings hadn't made them go away. He'd loved Blair. He'd missed him, missed his cajoling, missed his cheerful good nature, and missed their lovemaking. And now he was worried about him. But he had to ask himself: was it worth it to think about starting over with Sandburg?
He had legitimate beefs with Blair. Blair had not told him of his employment problems; he had let Jim think he was quitting jobs when instead he'd been fired because of outside interference. That wasn't how partners who trusted each other behaved. And it stung that Blair accepted that Jim was vengeful enough to hound him with those god-damned letters.
Trust and commitment, those were the benchmarks that Jim wanted in relationships. He'd told Sandburg that a long time ago, back when the kid was in the process of losing that girl Christine. Trust and commitment were still what he wanted in a partner. What he would want from Sandburg. And no flirting with every Tom, Dick and Suzie. He'd told Blair he didn't like him working at the Meeting Place bar; why was it so important to Blair to play the role of beefcake there? Was sex with Jim not enough for the famed Sandburg libido? Was that why his lover had scoped out working as an attraction at the other bar? Was the combination of more money plus illicit sex more important than being Jim's monogamous partner? Obviously, Blair had hedged his bets, he'd managed to find somebody else to leave town with as soon as he'd dumped Jim. Which was Jim's own fault, he accepted that now about himself. Still, maybe they could put the fucked-up stuff behind them because a lot of what he'd had with Blair had been good. And Blair was his guide; just look at how his senses had broken out of dormancy just by being in physical contact with the kid again.
Jim hadn't wanted to come here initially and he still resented Simon's benevolent dictatorship, but maybe he and Blair could sort some of their problems out between them if he brought Blair back with him. It would work better if Blair were willing to be put into protective custody. It would be a long drive back to Cascade; it could prove to be the best thing to help them work out their differences. Or it could be sheer hell. And the more he thought about it the more the sheer hell option seemed likely, because why would Blair want to come back? Even if Jim could convince the kid he had nothing to do with those lying letters, what was there for Blair in Cascade besides maybe a second chance on their rocky relationship?
Oh, what the hell - since Findley was thinking of blocking his custody anyway - he and Blair might not be traveling or talking together. After reading the Findley family history he'd been given, he knew what the man wanted from him.
The truth. All of it.
Jim turned sideways on the bench seat and stretched his legs out, maneuvering until his head was leaning against the door window and he found himself staring at the top of his windshield.
If Jim admitted he was a sentinel and Blair was his guide, Findley was implying he would trust Jim to not hurt his guide. Denying he was a sentinel would result in that Order of Protection Findley had threatened him with earlier this morning at the café down the street.
Findley wanted Jim to clean out his closet: reveal the truth about his sentinel abilities and acknowledge that he had had a homosexual relationship with Blair. And it stuck in Jim's craw to discuss his personal affairs with an outsider. It really wasn't any of Findley's business to know those private things about him - things he hadn't even told his close friends or family. And if Jim admitted Blair was his guide and his lover then Jim would have to trust that Findley wouldn't abuse that knowledge by passing it to those who could hurt him or Blair. The same old reasons for hiding his sentinel status still applied.
Blair being his lover – well, he wasn't ashamed of Blair, but he hadn't wanted to deal with the rough teasing he knew he'd be receiving from the other guys in the bullpen when he broke the news that Blair and he were together. Sure, it would've been annoying for a while, but having to admit later to another serious failed relationship if they'd crashed and burned – well, to quote Sandburg – it would suck big-time. He had delayed announcing they were life partners until he knew for sure that this change in their relationship was going to work. Turned out to be a wise decision on his part, seeing that they hadn't lasted six months.
Telling his father and brother that he now had a boyfriend hadn't been something he had wanted to do either, although Steven probably wouldn't have cared that much. His father would have disapproved; he would have wanted to 'talk' to Jim, try and get him to renounce Blair, tell his son how disappointed he was in him, and generally would have tried to guilt him into leaving Blair. He had spent so many years estranged from his family… he had put off rocking the boat. If he and Blair had been able to make their relationship work, though, he would have introduced Blair to them as his lover and life partner. And if his family couldn't accept him being with Blair, then it was their loss.
It had all been a moot point, though, because he and Blair hadn't made it to 'meet the family' status.
Jim rubbed his hand on the leg of his jeans and refocused on Blair's voice. The kid was on the phone talking to a guy about a trucking job. Blair was apologizing for not having come yesterday and was telling the guy he had been unavoidably detained.
Jim winced when he heard the bellowed response from the trucking boss. "Unavoidably detained, my ass. We got a new-fangled contraption here, you might have heard about it. It's called caller ID and mine's telling me you're calling from the Sweetwater Police Station. I know when you left your friend's place to travel here, Sandburg. You should have been here days ago, so I'm betting you landed yourself in jail; didn't you, boy? I don't need troublemakers driving my trucks. I told my buddy I'd give you a try but that was conditional on you getting yourself here on time. You didn't. I don't want to hear any sob stories, either. And this is the last time I ever do a favor for a friend of a friend." Jim heard a click on the line… and realized Blair's potential employer had hung up on him.
Blair resumed talking on the phone, and Jim rolled his eyes when he grasped that Blair was pretending to accept the truck-driving job that would be waiting for him when he got to Charlotte, North Carolina. Chief, who the hell are you trying to fool?
Well, he now felt justified in his eavesdropping. Blair didn't have a job, which meant no address, and no way to track him, which tipped the scales right over towards Jim deciding to place Sandburg in protective custody. Maybe not with Jim as Blair's keeper, if Findley wouldn't sanction Jim as the officer in charge, but Jim would wait here till he was relieved. Maybe that would be best, another officer escorting Blair back ho- to Cascade.
Blair had hung up the phone and had blathered a bit to Findley while he was being returned to his cell. Bored, and not wanting to enter the Justice Center yet, Jim idly cast out his hearing, practicing a skill he had let get rusty over the last year. He focused on a random conversation or the sound of machinery and then tuned it out to scan for a new sound, just like Sandburg had guided him to do years ago.
On the ninth or tenth time of focusing on a new conversation, he heard a male voice asking a female clerk in the Justice Center to tell him who was on the docket today. She started to say the list of names, and Jim heard Sandburg's name before he tuned them out.
Several minutes later, he focused on that same male voice outside the building addressing someone else. Jim had only been paying half-hearted attention until the guy mentioned the name 'Sandburg.' He sat up straighter in the truck and intently followed the conversation. Grimly, after the next few words, Jim realized that what he was hearing meant serious trouble for Blair. He listened in growing anger to the man speak.
"So, this feller's short and thin - with blue eyes; 'The Man' said he's 'round thirty or so but looks younger, and gots long curly brown hair. He's some kind of hippie, and he's going up in front of the judge this morning. If he gets jail time we'll have to let 'The Man' know he'll be up in the Davitt county jailhouse. That'd be alright. I got contacts there, and he'll have him an accident inside or if he's out on a work detail.
"'The Man' said Sandburg here don't have a car and was arrested when he was hitchhiking. He's got no friends round these parts, no reason to stay. If his case comes up dismissed, let's pick him up hitchhiking his way out of town. Ya' know… There's no reason we can't have some fun with him before we off him. 'The Man' won't know if we corn-hole this feller; the hippie's gonna end up dead, anyway. I haven't nailed a punk since prison and I could go for some of that. Mandy broke up with me and the well's been dry, if you take my meaning."
In a deeper voice than the first shit-head, the second guy growled, "Listen up, you old road dog. You want to bone the punk then you can't be lame about it. You got to use condoms and gloves; 'cause you're not gonna leave any DNA in this guy like those assholes who get themselves caught by the cops. Maybe I'll do him too; I'll see if I'm in the mood later. And we need to do a good job when we bury him. I know a place that's so back-hills that nobody ever goes there. This guy's just a drifter. Nobody will miss him or try and find him, probably, but we're 'professionals' now and we got to do this right. Lordy… I'm looking forward to spending the money we get on some good times. I'm gonna start by buying a thousand lottery tickets."
"Oh, your luck just ran out, you scumbag," Jim muttered softly to himself before he tried piggybacking his sight onto his hearing. He followed the first shit-head's voice as he spoke again to his murderous buddy.
"C'mon, let's go already. Court ain't for another hour and a half, and it makes me jittery to be hanging around the local cop shop. We can flip later for who has to sit in the courtroom."
Jim's vision ended up on a green Jeep Cherokee with a dent in the driver's door. Shit-head and Scumbag were pulling away from the curb to make a left hand turn, but Jim got a quick look at their faces and caught the last two letters of the license plate before his view was blocked by the Justice Center. There was no point in following them. They'd be back in time for court.
All Jim's hesitations about revealing his sentinel abilities to Findley went sailing right out the proverbial window. He needed help to protect Blair and the Sweetwater cop would be his best pick as an ally. Findley already was in Blair's camp as a protector. Now if he would quit trying to make Jim out as the bad guy here and focus on a couple of genuine bad guys and whoever the fucking 'Man' was who'd hired Shit-head and Scumbag to kill Blair…
He listened in to the police station chatter, trying to locate Findley. He pinpointed him in the kitchen, comparing his coffee to burnt motor oil to another cop in the room.
Jim reached for his cell phone, dialed the Sweetwater P.D.'s number, and asked for Findley. When Findley got on the line, Jim handed him his secret on a big silver platter.
"Findley, I need to talk to you right now, out here in the back of the parking lot. So dump that 'burnt motor oil' you're trying to pass off as coffee and meet me at my truck." Findley made a surprised sound at Jim's demand and hung up the phone.
When Findley got out here – at this point Jim refused to take a chance with talking in the police station – Jim was going to tell the man what he wanted to know in exchange for a promise of help. Blair was being targeted and Jim wasn't going to risk his partner getting killed because the kid wanted to show how independent he could be. Blair was going into custody, and whether he liked it or not didn't matter. He needed protection and Jim was going to provide it.
Jim watched Findley leave the Justice Center and look towards the back of the parking lot. He walked over to the truck, opened the passenger door, and pushed his way into Jim's territory. Findley raised his eyebrows and waited for Jim to explain himself.
Jim looked grimly at his potential ally. "Look, Findley, I'm going to cut to the chase here because there isn't much time and we have a major problem. All my senses are enhanced. I'm a sentinel, just like old what's-his-name, your great-great-Cherokee-hero-guy that I read about in the family history you gave me. And while he used his senses to help his tribe avoid the soldiers trying to catch them, I used mine this morning and listened to a couple of murdering bastards making plans to rape and kill Blair."
Findley had been nodding while Jim admitted to being a sentinel, but his eyes widened when the threat to Blair was revealed.
"Blair's my guide, my soul-partner, just like the companion who helped your ancestor keep control of his senses. We've had problems; we've been angry with each other, and I can't tell you what's going to happen with us in the future, but I would never hurt my guide.
"You seem to think if you know the truth about us then you'll trust us when we tell you Blair isn't in danger of me trying to harm him. He is in danger, though." Jim clenched his fists and then slowly, deliberately relaxed them and spread his fingers apart.
"And because I heard what those two assholes said about being paid to kill him from too far away, it's not going to stick if we arrest them. I've been down that road in court, before we wised up and made sure anything I learned with my senses could be backed up by regular evidence.
"These assholes talked about being hired by 'The Man' to kill Blair. I'm betting they don't know his name; I'm betting this was set up through an intermediary. They sounded like they'd both been in prison, but they haven't done contract killing before. They plan to either kill Blair in jail if he gets convicted – so they don't have very good intel on the local situation or they'd know the charges will be dropped – or pick him up hitchhiking when he leaves town. The ghouls were already cackling about spending the money they'll make by burying him in some god-forsaken backwoods."
Findley's eyes had narrowed and his body had stiffened, but he hadn't interrupted Jim so far. He made a get-on-with-it motion with his hand when Jim paused for a moment.
"So I'm showing you my hand, Findley, and I hope to God you think enough of Blair to help me protect him. I am a sentinel. Blair is my guide. We were just friends for years - he didn't lie about that - but he didn't come clean about when we became lovers. You said he sleep talked about us being together. It didn't work out so well, and he left me. I'm a stubborn son-of-a-bitch and I let him run." Jim frowned as he admitted his past behavior.
"Meeting up with him again, well, I'm thinking I'd like to see if he'd try again with me. I won't hurt him physically – I'll try not to hurt him emotionally. But whether or not we patch things up, he needs protection. He's the only lead in a murder case, he's indigent and homeless – there is no job waiting for him in North Carolina - and you know as well as I do that you'd put him in protective custody too, if this were your case."
Findley put up his hand to stop Jim from spilling any more of his guts. "So Blair didn't lie about you in his dissertation? And Blair told me, after he got off the phone, that there would be a job for him in North Carolina."
Jim tightened his hands back into fists. "Oh, he lied all right about his work. But it was to protect me that he named himself a fraud and told the whole god-damned country. That's the lie, that his work was fraudulent. Findley was nodding while Jim explained himself, and the big man softly said, "thought so."
"What he told you about a job carefully left out that any job he finds won't be with that trucking firm he called. The man he talked to this morning reamed him out and fired him, if you can fire someone before they're even hired. What Blair really said is that he's going to try and find work there, but right now he's got no job offers at all. Blair's a master at letting other people make assumptions based on what they think they heard him say. He's the most ethical guy I've ever known, but he can be a devious little shit at times. You can call that man back and ask him what he told Sandburg, if you want to confirm what I'm telling you."
Findley looked thoughtful at Jim's assessment of Blair's tactics, but then leveled his gaze at Jim. "What about the attack you made on him yesterday?"
Jim sighed and restrained himself from shrugging his shoulders. Having an attitude wasn't going to help his case here.
"You know, I really don't remember what I did, and I'm sorry as hell for pushing Sandburg around, but I'm thinking it was a kind of zone – sentinels get them when they concentrate too much on one sense – and I think it was set off from being close to Blair for the first time in a year, plus I'd just figured out from the way he smelled that he was sick." Jim shrugged anyway. And… I could have been initiating sex. I also could have been re-imprinting him on my senses. It's something sentinels do with their guides, according to my guide. It allows my senses to range safely.
"But if I had wanted sex with Blair, I think it would have been consensual. Blair was probably telling me to stop because of where we were, not because he was scared of me. I'm pretty sure it won't happen again, though – my senses have flipped back to being strong again and I've seen him since then and didn't zone.
Findley looked contemplatively at Jim, probably weighing every thing he'd just been told, while Jim waited, trying to disguise his anxiety under a stoic expression.
"Would you be wantin' to keep him here or run for it?" Findley asked matter-of-factly.
"I want to set a trap for Scumbag and Shit-head, then head for Cascade before they can follow or Bergman, if he's 'The Man,' hires new hit-men to track Blair. And the leak has to be coming from the Cascade P.D. Blair being here was an accident, wasn't it? My information was that he fell asleep while catching a ride and was let out here. He didn't intend to come to Sweetwater; he didn't call anyone and say he was here, did he? Other than calling about a job this morning?"
"Your information was right, Ellison. And he didn't call anybody till this morning. Are you thinkin' your suspect in the murder case found out where Blair was from the Cascade police somehow and arranged for hit-men to come here?"
"He's the only one I know of who would benefit from Sandburg's death, but I'm not shutting the door on any other possibilities. What seems clear to me is that his location was leaked from my P.D. Maybe through bribes, maybe unintentionally, but I'm going to plug that leak up. I'm going to call Simon…" And Jim looked at his watch, and then reached for his cell phone.
Findley asked, "Is that Captain Banks? We've talked before about this case."
"Yeah. Simon Banks, he's the Captain of Major Crimes; he's a good friend and I trust him with my life, and more importantly, with Blair's life. He should be at home; it's still early on the West Coast. And I'm going to have him confirm to you about me being a sentinel. He's known all along about it and he knows Blair as well as anyone does, except me."
Jim held his cell phone in his hand and started turning it over and over. He looked past Findley and cleared his throat.
"Findley, Banks doesn't know that Blair and I were lovers. We weren't out in Cascade. If it means you won't roadblock my custody, I'll tell him now, over the phone, about Blair and me.
"Waiting here for another Cascade officer to take custody will make it more difficult to know if Shit-head and Scumbag or their contact has called in reinforcements. In my opinion, it would be safer to leave after springing the trap on these two yahoos. If we can leave right after court then I think I can get Blair to a safe house in Cascade without being tailed or ambushed. I have some ideas that will make it harder to trace our route and I could use your help to get set up."
Jim looked directly into Findley's eyes. "What do you want me to do?"
Findley was quiet and spent a moment or two rubbing the back of his neck. Looking at Jim, he nodded, and then said, "Call your captain, explain about the threats, and tell him you'll be leavin' with Blair after court. Tell him I know you're a sentinel and Blair's your guide, to clear the way if Captain Banks and I need to talk after you leave here. Make sure he knows you are officially puttin' Blair in protective custody - I suspect it won't be with the boy's initial cooperation – in case Blair tries to protest to somebody along the way that you've run off with him. I'll give you something official-looking backin' your custody up and it would be a good idea if Banks did too, and he should fax it here to me for you."
Findley blew out his breath in a long sigh. "You can keep your love life private. And you'll probably think I'm stickin' my nose in where it doesn't belong, but if I was you, I'd think long and hard about what kind of message you've sent to Blair by keepin' him your hidden lover. I'm bettin' he thought he was your dirty little secret, if you didn't even tell your friends about him. Are you thinking Banks wouldn't have accepted the two of you as a couple? That he would harass you, make things difficult on the job?"
Jim shook his head no. "He'd have said something like, 'I don't need the details, and Ellison, make sure you check with Personnel about adding him to your insurance policy.' He'd have taken me aside for a beer and told me Blair was good for me, and if I hurt the kid - I'd have to answer to him. He'd never admit it to Blair, but he's very protective of him. Blair has a knack for getting people to like him."
Findley gave Jim a somber look. "I've come to like Blair, too. I'm trustin' you that you're not goin' to hurt him, since I believe I've finally heard the truth from you. And I know it wasn't easy, talkin' to me like this; you've put Blair's safety over your need for privacy. I won't contact Adult Protective Services about stopping you from traveling with him. Whatever you think I can do to help you get him home safely and to set this trap you want, just let me know."
Jim gave a nod, and as he dialed Simon's home phone number, he began organizing in his head all the steps he would need to take before returning for court later this morning.
The phone rang and rang in Simon's house, leaving Jim time to think about his partner's probable reaction to being placed in protective custody.
Blair, kiddo, I know you're going to fight me on this; I know you're going to say you can elude these killers on your own and you need to find work. I know you're going to say you'll return to Cascade, if necessary, to testify in Bergman's trial when we arrest him. I know you're not going to want to come back with me; you've decided we don't have a future together. You're going to be pissed at me.
Tough shit, Little Shaman. I'm going to take care of you, and protect you, and maybe - if we can figure out where it went wrong between us - we can agree to try again as lovers. I fucked up, but you did too, Chief. Guess it took hearing your death planned, for me to realize that I've never stopped loving you, Blair Sandburg.
Finally the phone was picked up and Jim heard a yawn from the other end.
"Banks. And there had better be a damn good reason for calling me this early."
"Simon, it's Jim…"
~oo~oo~oo~oo~
xxx
Continued in A Fair Distance. Running on Empty. Chapter Twelve.