This is made as a parody of names like Mello and Near, ha. And basically based on something my friend and I talked about. Plus boredom. :D
Roger and Wammy were sick of all the strange things the kids were calling themselves. Some were as young as five then they arrived, but it was expected that the smartest kids in the world would have better judgment, even on things such as this.
At first, the kids gave themselves rather tame names; Linda and Jake arrived, deciding to go by normal-sounding names. But then, after a few more years, Mello and Near arrived, calling themselves nonsensical names, seemingly—at least in Mello's case—just to disrupt. It was nearly as bad as the way they constantly argued with each other.
And now, there were kids going as Sparkles, Ninja, and Narwhal. And after a boy decided to call himself "Sex," Roger was forced to explain, rather awkwardly, what sex was to the younger kids—who seemed to already know, anyway, and took delight in the way he stumbled over words, refusing to be mature about it.
No, now there would be a new rule; he couldn't imagine the horrible names some other kids would come up with. Starting with the next kid, he would name them all himself. He didn't need more trouble, and certainly didn't want to go around calling them by the…imaginative things the children thought of.
There was a knock at his door, and he wearily answered, "Come in."
A young girl with blonde hair and a multicolored dress walked In, clutching a large stuffed animal.
Roger sighed upon seeing the girl, knowing exactly what to expect by now. "What is it this time?"
The girl took a deep breath before speaking, giving Roger some time to brace himself. "It there going to be a new boy? Uni said there would be, can I see him? It's been so long since we got a new kid, especially a boy—"
Roger had to cut her off; he simply couldn't take any more of this mindless, high-pitched noise she called words. "He'll be coming tomorrow. Go play with Unicorn, Rainbow Princess…" The names almost made him wince, and he finally watched the girl leave, waiting for the day she would finally move out and be somewhat-productive in the world.
Only seven more years, he thought with a sigh.
Later, a redheaded boy arrived in his office, frantically pressing buttons on a handheld gaming device (he never could keep track of the various models) before slipping it into his pocket, the noises quieting, much to Roger's gratitude. As soon as the noises stopped, Roger said, without a change in expression—he always had the same bored look, as if the years of dealing with children had crushed his soul—"Your name is now Matt."
The boy made a sour face, shaking his head. "I want to be Zelda," he said, rather forcefully.
Roger shook his head, glad he finally had the chance to reject yet another (in his opinion, which of course, he thought was correct, compared to these children) horrible name. "You'll be known as Matt."
The boy thought for another moment before saying, "Only if you get me all the games and systems I ask for." He seemed to think he was quite clever for thinking this up.
Roger groaned at this, however, but agreed; it was better than referring to him as "Zelda." After he directed the smirking redhead to his room, he watched to boy leave, starting up his game again, not knowing he would still be in debt ten years later.