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Oh, yes, did I mention that this chapter consists of Prince William jokes? Sorry ~ just bein' naughty! It IS sad that he's getting married, thought... No wonder Emmett is sad.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT!
Chapter 20: When You Know Cabbages Ain't No Good Idea
Speacial Chapter: EDWARD'S POV
"No! No! NO! Prince William is getting married!" Emmett screamed from the living room.
I sighed. "Emmett, what does Prince William getting married have to do with you making pizza?"
"Because he's my inspiration, my muse, my life!" Emmett sighed, too.
I walked into the living room to find Emmett knelling in front of the TV, with a puppy-dog eye and wiping away fake tears. Jasper had walked out of the room in disgust and Carlisle was diving somewhere about 1000 feet deep in the sea, searching for oyster.
My family had gone mad. There's no oyster that deep in the sea.
Emmett suddenly got up and raised his fist. I rushed in front to stop his fist, saying, "No, Emmett! Don't break the TV!"
Emmett turned to me, his eyes were black, and for a moment the thought of throwing me to break the TV crossed his mind, but he sighed and relaxed his hand, defeated.
"Damn that girl that's marrying Prince William," Emmett mumbled and walked into the kitchen.
I followed him, trying to understand his sudden interest in Prince William. For all I know, Emmett doesn't give a "damn" about royals and humans in general. He thinks they are stupid.
"Emmett, what's with you?" I asked. Emmett was taking out pizza bases and settling to cook. He bang everything on the counter loudly, but not enough to break the marble table.
"Nothing. I hate that girl," he mumbled.
"Emmett, I never knew you're interested in Prince William before," I said, trying to understand. All his thought were pointed to the picture of him holding the prince's hands. "Aren't you in love with Rose? Have you gone mad too?"
Emmett growled and went to the refrigerator. "Every heterosexual man has this feeling for the prince. We looked up to him as a role model. Not that you would know, virgin boy,"
I snarled but otherwise ignored the comment. Emmett was looking through the refrigerator for ingredients, but we're running out of food. Esme comforted us by a call saying that new supply are already on the way. Dang Alice.
"Cabbage, jelly, one small butter... that's left! Why's there like so much cabbage, Eddie-boy?" said Emmett. In his head was just a whole lot of cabbage in the vegetable crisper, looking sad and brown. "Oh, well. Maybe Prince William likes cabbage pizza,"
"Maybe Prince William likes to get sick," said Jasper, returning into the room. "Emmett. Knock out of it, okay? Why have you suddenly got the goo-goo for some stupid prince?"
"Dude, goo-goo is so over," retorted Emmett. "We use perfect English, okay?"
"Hey, did you know Carlisle had once met the king of England?" I said, to distract Emmett. He is now peeling the cabbages sadly and placed them on the pizza base without washing the leaves first.
I think I'm going to skip dinner tonight.
"Really? Was it Prince William's ancestor? Oh, my god! Is he as handsome as William?" Emmett cried.
"They're not related," I sighed exasperatedly. "Forget it,"
Emmett returned sadly to his pathetic cabbage pizza.
"Hey, boys! I caught some oyster!" Carlisle came in, grinning, holding a bag of oysters. We looked at him in astonishment.
"Where on earth did you get it?" I asked in complete bewilderment.
Carlisle frowned a little. "Um. I swam and swam to about Mexico or something. I wasn't sure,"
"Who cares?" Emmett cried excitedly, and he grabbed the bag of oyster away from Carlisle's hands. "Oyster pizza! Prince William would love it!"
Emmett threw all his cabbages outside the window, and began to shell the oyster enthusiastically, thinking that Prince William walking into his pizza shop and declared himself in love with Emmett, and thus marrying Emmett.
Don't ask me why, but I think I'm going to crack too.
BELLA'S POV
Today is the first day of the second month of the boys' exile. God, I missed Edward! Out of boredom, I even taught Charlie how to cook, but he wasn't a good student. He still think you can just put the sauce into the microwave, cap and all.
"What happened? What happened?" I asked anxiously when I arrived to the Cullens' house and found Esme and Alice laughing on the floor, except for Rosalie, who was throwing darts at the face of a girl.
"Emmett had a secret crush on Prince William!" Alice cried between choke of laughter.
"What? Prince William on England? But Emmett is a heterosexual guy... isn't he?" I asked uncertainly.
"Well I guess not!" Rosalie threw another dart to the girl's picture, and hit bull's eye to the throat. I realised the girl was Prince William's fiancée.
"But Prince William is getting married in three days!" I said, still somewhat bewildered.
"Yes, and Emmett was hoping mad!" said Alice. "He wished, hem, well, you know Emmett,"
I didn't understand but I didn't want to know. God knows only what Emmett is thinking, and Emmett.
"Two has cracked," said Esme. She sounded weird. "Two still remains,"
Sorry about the Prince William thing. I meant no disrespect or anything but it's a shot of inspiration and I liked it. Who knew the hearts of men?
Review, if you liked it! Thanks!
