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Acceptance

Part Twenty-One

"Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it." — Kathleen Casey Theisen

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Jasper's POV – 9 September

After dropping off Bella from dinner and fearing she would disappear again, I reluctantly left her place, spending the rest of the night at my place.

Even though the family lived close to me and Carlisle and I worked at the same hospital, I didn't live with them.

I loved my family, and I enjoyed spending time with them, but I also enjoyed living on my own. I saw my family a few days a week, it's not as if Esme allowed more time in between. Some may have thought her overbearing, but she simply loved her family. She had lost her child in her human life, so she clung to us with all the more. Loving us unconditionally.

There was also the bonus of not having to live under the same roof as my horny, oversexed brother and sister (which made it sound too incestuous).

I loved Emmett and Rose, but they knew no bounds. Rose wasn't as bad as her husband, but still there was only so much a vampire could take.

I always felt bad for Edward and his gift. I would never want to see the thoughts Emmett had in his overeager, sex-induced mind; feeling the emotions were more than enough.

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The next day, after I was showered, changed and was ready to leave, I grabbed my keys and hopped into my favorite lady. She loved taking me from zero to eighty in seven seconds; Rose's tinkering didn't hurt either.

I was aware of the unhealthy love for my car, but what man didn't? It was encoded into our DNA, even a vampire's.

I stopped at the local Starbucks and picked up my other favorite girl something to eat. After what seemed like half a day waiting in line, I finally received my order and made my way to Bella's.

She wasn't expecting me, but I did coming baring gifts; she couldn't be too upset. I locked my lady, gave her one more lingering glance and made my way to Bella's door.

I could hear her puttering about in her kitchen; I hoped I wasn't too late. After making my presence known, Bella answered the door, leaving me in awe. It had only been three days since her unexpected return to my existence; I was still becoming accustomed to the change.

Stupidly, I stood there staring at her, making an apparent ass of myself. My mouth seemed unable to form simple words, as if my tongue was glued to the roof.

Bella greeted me in her pregnant glory, and I couldn't get over how much she had changed, and how lovely she looked in the morning. She gave me a shy smile, a blush on her cheeks. Finally, my mouth remembered how to work properly.

"Top of the morning, angel, I come bringing gifts." Bella just giggled at my old-world talk before allowing me to enter her apartment.

She followed me into the kitchen, taking a seat at her table with a lengthy sigh. I could only imagine what it was like carrying around another person inside you, especially in seeing how small Bella was.

"Are you feeling okay, Bella?" I walked over to her and placed my hand on her forehead, trying to feel her temperature. I could only feel the warmth I always did while touching her. She brought her hand up to mine, removing it from her forehead. She placed it on her lap while still holding on.

"I'm fine, Jasper. It was just a rather long night," she said softly, but I could tell there was more.

I could feel her tiredness and anxiety. There was also a layer of needing in her emotions. I crouched down to bring myself to eye-level. She looked at me. Dark smudges colored the skin under her beautiful eyes.

"I know just as well as you, what you said wasn't' the entire truth. So please, try not to insult me anymore. If there's something wrong, or something I can do, please just tell me. I'm your friend, angel. I'm here for as long as you need me."

She continued to stare, emitting guilt. I didn't want to add to her emotional state, but I wanted her to know there was never a reason to withhold from me. If she ever needed to say anything, I wanted her to be comfortable; never afraid.

"I never meant to lie or insult you," she mumbled while looking down, her cheeks becoming even redder due to her embarrassment. "I guess you can tell with your weird, extra sense. Something I'll have to get use to."Her embarrassment became stronger after her last statement.

It was true; Jasper was a bull-shitter machine: I could tell when someone was lying to me. There was always a spike in their emotions. There were few who could almost trick me.

"Anyway," she continued, pulling me from my monologue, "Yes, I did have a long night and I'm really tired. There was a break-in next door. It made me feel really vulnerable. I didn't get to sleep after that, and I just had some things I needed to do today. I can't linger in bed."

I couldn't believe someone had broken in next door. I knew this was an unsafe neighborhood, but I never imagined it would get so close to Bella and her unborn child. Why hadn't she called me? I gave her my phone number in case she ever felt the need to use it. Perhaps she felt it would be a burden for me.

My anxiety about leaving her alone increased. She was, after all, seven months pregnant with no one to depend on. With my fears for her safety increasing, the need arose to have a talk with her. However prematurely it would seem to others.

How to go about it, though . . .

We had only been newly reacquainted for three days, and I had no say over her life or decisions. I could only talk and try to persuade her.

"Angel," I started, pulling her face up to look at me. "Remember when I gave you the phone number to my house, cell, and work." She didn't respond.

"Why didn't you just call me?" I could feel that needy feeling again and something akin to shame.

"Jasper, how could I?"

I was confused by her question. I had given her my numbers for a reason, so what was with the question?

"I have only been back in your life for three days, and have already taken so much of your time." The dreaded tears came to her eyes. I wanted to do nothing but protect her.

"You had already come over, spent the night in an unfamiliar place and listened to my sob story – not to mention taking me out to eat to a restaurant you didn't even like. You probably had to go home and make yourself something to eat," she added as an afterthought.

"I've already been a burden, and I didn't want to make myself a bigger pest. Of course . . . Of course, I wanted to call, but I just didn't have the heart to bother you anymore. Please try and understand where I'm coming from."

Her pleading made me feel terrible, as if I caused her to feel like a burden; when it fact it was the opposite, I was the one dependant on her. And after only three days.

The only difference was she couldn't feel my emotions as I could hers. I also felt bad for lying to her about last night's dinner: when I asked honesty from her; talk about my being a hypocrite.

"No need for more explanations, I tried to reassure. "You did what you thought was best. But, angel, you are never a burden to me."

I exhaled loudly, needing to release everything that was building up.

"Three day ago, when we were reunited, my life was changed. It was rocked to the very core when I saw you lying in that hospital bed. Here was this fallen angel from my past, and the answer to my unconscious question from long ago."

She tilted her head, studying me intently, as if questioning.

"When I met you, my life lacked purpose. You gave to me an answer I didn't even know I was seeking. You then became such a major part. And then three days ago, I saw you again in the person, and my life was altered."

I sounded quite creepy, but she had to know the truth, the depths of my feelings.

"It makes no sense, and I sound like a crazy person, but there you are: the truth. I promise I'm not a stalker. I never kept track of you, not that I could have; I didn't know your last name."

Bella gave me a look like she was calling out my bullshit.

"Okay, maybe if I knew your last name I would have kept track of your life. But I would never have stalked you. I would have made my presence known to you, angel."

And isn't that the fucking truth.

"I would never want to scare you or for you to think I'm some lunatic. I just have never understood this need I have for you and your approval, but it lives within me, Bella. I only want for you to be happy. You are my best friend, and I love you. What more can be said?"

My shoulders fell with the last of my words. I must have sounded crazy.

But she answered my question with a kiss to my palm, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around my neck. Tentatively, I pulled her a little closer and locked my arms around her lower back.

"I should have called, Jasper, but I was scared," she confessed. "I felt that if I became a nuisance in your life you'd probably run away from the pregnant lady. And I wouldn't blame you."

I smiled into her hair before kissing her forehead. Our connection came to life, and I could feel myself becoming even warmer.

I shivered from the change in my body, thinking how bizarre it felt. I never experienced temperature change within, so it was a shock and so different.

Pulling away, I looked into her eyes, trying to find the answer to this bond. Her jade flecks offered no immediate answers.

Bella looked over my shoulder and gasped. She pushed me away with more force than expected, causing me to tumble to the ground. I sat there in shock, staring at her. I hadn't fallen down in some time, and was stunned. Bella turned red while trying to get up.

"I'm terribly sorry, Jasper," she was quick to apologize. "I didn't mean to knock you over. It's just I'm going to be late for work. This is my last week and I just wanted to make sure I gave my all." Her having a job didn't even cross my mind, embarrassingly enough.

"You see, my employer has been so good to me. They kept me on; even when they knew I was expecting and going through all of my medical issues. I wanted to make sure they know how grateful I am."

She was so very compelling to me. Her benevolence touching.

"I probably missed my bus, and now I'm going to have to call them and . . ." Bella said to herself, while still trying to help me up from the floor.

I wonder if she even realized what she as doing. I laughed to myself at her predicament and thought again for the millionth time how amazing she was.

On the flip side, I wasn't too happy to learn she was taking the bus to work. But I knew she had no other means of transportation.

"Bella," I said loudly, getting her wandering attention. She jumped a little from the volume of my voice but finally realized what she was trying to accomplish.

She blew her bangs from her face, giving me a silly smile.

"I'm not really helping you up from the floor, am I?" I smirked at her.

"Not for about another three months, angel. But it was quite entertaining watching you in your frazzled state."

She rolled her eyes and smirked back at me.

I pulled myself from the floor and helped to get her organized. "This is what we're going to do: First, you should calm way down."

Bella gave me a skeptical look as I took control, but I displaced. I simply raised my eyebrow back at her. After backing down with a sheepish grin, she started to listen again.

"Now since that is settled, I shall finish." I waggled my brows. She giggled.

"You are going to calm down, eat the wonderful breakfast I brought you, take a shower and get ready for work. After you give me the number, I'm going to call your work place and let them you're going to be a little late. Once you are ready, you drop me off at the hospital . . ."

I could feel Bella's curiosity taking over, but I didn't allow her to interrupt. ". . . and then you will take my car and drive yourself to work."

"But, Jasper, you can't be serious." I knew the arguments would soon follow.

"Of course I am, angel. Do you honestly think that after learning about the break-in next door I would want you to go anywhere alone?"

Again, she went to argue, but I knew what needed to be done. I pulled out the puppy-dog eye and the wobbly smile.

This always worked on Esme (when she didn't see through it, I amend), and well, basically most women. I was most definitely a rouge, but damn sexy.

"Please, angel, this will put my mind at ease. I couldn't concentrate at work if I knew you were in trouble. Do it for me and my patients. Take my car, drive to work and I'll call you when I'm ready for you to pick me up. I'm not asking too much, am I?"

Cue the violins and the harps. Bella rolled her eyes, but I could feel her surrender. I really am a beast.

"Fine! But that is really unfair, Jasper. You knew exactly what you were doing to wear me down. And I just wanted it stated for the record, it is completely unfair, not to mention underhanded."

I couldn't hold in the victory smirk.

"I concede, angel; but you should also realize, I'd do anything for your safety and your child's. Nothing is too grand or too much!"

The girl gave me another faux-dirty look before giving me her work number. Bless her heart, she really did try to stomp out of the kitchen in a huff. The illusion was ruined, however, when she turned red and came back for her food.

She grabbed her unforgotten breakfast and orange juice from the table. I was smart enough to hold in my laughter.

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After we were all ready to go and in the car, I looked over at her to, making sure she was actually real. She turned to smile at me. I was out of my doghouse.

The car was quiet as we pulled into the hospital. I parked and then helped her into the driver seat. I kept her hand in mine, not wanting to remove it from my grasp.

Bell looked at me in confusion, and I just knelt down again.

"There are some things I would like to discuss with you tonight. I'd have brought it up this morning, but there wasn't time."

I could feel her anxiety rise at my statement, but I put her at ease immediately.

"It is nothing bad, angel, just some things I want to ask you. Not tonight, but some time later in the week, I would like to tell you a little of my past. Would that be alright with you?"

Her eyes held nothing but compassion as my face must have shown my worry.

"Sure, Jasper, how could I refuse after all you've done for me? And not just this week. But maybe we could hold off on the life story until next week? I need a little break from all the constant emotions."

I could understand and abide her request.

"From finding you again, to leaving the hospital, to telling you about my past and the break-in, my nerves are a little shot. Is that fine . . . I mean, if you want to tell me this week, that's fine and . . ."

I stopped her rambling with a kiss to her check.

"No problem whatsoever, little one," I reassured, while getting up.

I made to shut the door, but was sure to tell her one last thing. "And, Bella, please be careful with my girl; she means a lot to me. Please," I begged again, after seeing that wild look in her eye.

"Oh Jasper, you hurt my feelings. I thought I was your favorite girl." Bella cajoled, giving me a wink. She could sure be a saucy little angel.

Bella shut the door a little too hard, making me wince. She just laughed. And as she put the car into gear, I could hear her grumble under her breath, "Men and their damn cars . . . Sorry, baby."

She patted her stomach; I guess she thought her language too uncouth for her unborn child.

I finally laughed as I made my way inside. But it didn't preclude me from uttering a little plea for car (my girl) . . . well, both of them.

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Author's Notes: Hope it was alright. I know it may have been more of a filler chapter, but it does move the plot along and sets up the next chapter beautifully. Please if you have the time, let me know your thoughts. All reviews are welcomed.

I hope all is well with everyone, and for all of those returning to school after summer holidays, good luck!

Much love to all!

Posted: Monday, 16 August 2010

Edited: Saturday, 20 July 2013