Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer and affiliates owns all that is Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.
Author's Notes: Hello loves, and welcome to the second to last chapter. There are a lot of things going on in this chapter, but I hope you enjoy them all. I just wanted to thank those who have added me to their alerts and favorite. You've been a big confidence builder during the life of the story. Thanks to those who have reviewed the last chapter. I enjoyed all the thoughts and hoped you enjoyed the sneak peak. :)
I also wanted to send a special thanks to Karen E Teague for looking over the chapter. I know it was long but I still appreciate the time you took. Also thanks to LordXeenTheGreat for reviewing each chapter. Again, it's something I've never done that far into the story, so I appreciate the effort. Also all pictures for this chapter are on my profile. :)
I hope everyone is well, and I wanted to wish everything good to all the miners in Chile and their families. It was a tragic story that turned into something so hopeful and beautiful. Much love to everyone.
Chapter Thirty
16 October/Friday – 14 November/Saturday
Bella's POV
Time almost seemed a figment of my imagination. I opened my eyes every morning to see my vampire there greeting me with a smile. The day was spent in his company; laughing, talking, enjoying our lives together. The evening would either be Jasper cooking me an insanely healthy meal or me arguing with him about letting me cook myself a thick steak with all the trimmings. Suffice to say not many of my dinners were medium rare. One night I even tried switching the tables on him, but the darn vampire was a creature unto his own.
"Jasper," I said in exasperation. He simply smirked at me while I crossed my arms over my ever present bulging stomach in irritation.
"Bella," He answered in mock irritation, trying to keep the smile from his lips. I was getting angry, and I knew he could feel my emotions. "What do you want, angel?" He asked in a gentle voice. If he thought he could placate me with his nickname, then he was beyond crazy.
"For once I want to cook my dinner, and if I choose to have a hotdog with chili then you'll have to deal." I argued in a lofty voice, trying to keep my nose from going into the air.
"I know you want to cook your own dinner Bella, but why when you have me to do it for you? There are tons, no pun intended (he knew I was at that stage in my pregnancy where any mention of weight . . . meant a life or death situation . . . not that he had to worry of such things), of women who would kill to have a debonair, good looking, handsome, incredibility sexy man cook them dinner every night. So why make a fuss angel?" I rolled my eyes at his ludicrous statement, not that he wasn't any of those things, but he didn't need confirmation.
"If you would like one of those killing women, Jasper, check the local prison; in the mean time I would like to cook a meal every now and then, something that isn't bought at a health food store and sold for three times the market value simply because it says organic on the plastic covering." I grumbled. Jasper had no qualms speeding money on what he thought was best for BB and I, but I wasn't use to the prices he thought was pocket change. I had lived on a budget for so long that it just became second nature. I didn't want to feel like a burden to him. He had already spent so much time and money on me that I constantly felt bad and at a disadvantage. Jasper could feel my emotions, but he didn't understand the reasoning behind it. I never faulted Jasper for wanting to help, but sometimes I felt so undeserving. He wasn't the only one who felt that speeding money on me was a waste, his mother was even worse.
"You are the only woman I could ever want or need Bella." He said in a most sincere voice, while my cheeks turned red. I hated when my skin gave away my emotions. If he wanted to play then so could I. Jasper always used it on me, so now it was his turn to relent. "I only want to look out for you and the baby, angel. I'm sorry for being such a burden on you." He tried frowning. I wanted to queue his cello for some sad music.
I looked into Jasper's eyes and let my eyes get big. I knew he loved my boring eyes, for some reason. I poked out my lower lips, trying to get the pouty lip just right. Of course I got the opposite response than the one I was intending. After his laugh had resided and my hands had taken residence on my 'wide load' hips, trying to show him how upset I was, he came over to me and took me into his arms; not that I could really fit. I could never resist the shelter they provided me, and that vampire knew it. He buried his face in my hair then placed a gentle kiss in front of my ear before he whispered, "You could never perfect the puppy-dog look Bella. It just doesn't suit that beautiful face of yours." Flattery would get him everywhere, and he knew this perfectly well. I could never stand up to that side of his, which made me feel almost worth his time. He kissed my cheek, and I could feel the smile on his lips. He already knew he won.
"Fine, Jazz you win again. You always seem to get your way with me." I said in a matter of fact voice, nothing lacing my words except the truth.
"It's because you love me, angel" He whispered, I could feel his breath on my face.
"It's because I love you." I confirmed before reaching behind him, and pouring the glass of water I had in my hands over his overheated big head. He screeched like a woman, making me break out into a fit of my own giggles.
The rest of the evening was spent with me getting away with it because I was pregnant, and Jasper would never retaliate while I was carrying BB. Maybe I had something to be concerned about after BB was born. Oh, well it was something to think about later.
21 October/ Wednesday – Bella's POV
Time was also spent with Esme and Carlisle. Their love for me was something else and truthfully scared me a little. I really wasn't used to the whole family dynamic, and it took me some time to become more comfortable with. It never helped that I weighed a ton, and had the hormonal levels of five old women taking estrogen pills. One moment I felt happy and on top of the world while the next I felt that this child was never going to get out of me and my ankles would be sore forever.
There was a knock on the door and I allowed Jasper to get it. I could barely move, and he would yell if I did something unnecessary because everyone knew opening a door was bad for the health of the mother. I laughed at my own joke, and watched as Esme came in with Jasper behind her pushing a pram. I immediately sobered up from my laugh and could feel myself becoming angry.
My face became red as I felt my ire rise. It was unbelievable the way these people went through money. These gifts were completely unnecessary and would only be used for such a short time. I also felt bad that they thought they needed to spend money on me. I just wanted for them to like me and the baby, which was no problem after looking at the three thousand dollar pram she had wheeled in. I knew the price of it because I had been on the internet looking at things for the baby. Jasper and Esme were admiring the beauty of the old world stroller, and I was a steaming little pregnant woman. It was time for me to finally and once and for all lay down the law. The child wasn't even born yet and I knew it would have champagne taste.
"Esme," I said and was ignored. She probably already knew what I was going to rant about and just chose to ignore me. "Esme," I finally whined and stomped my foot on the ground. I felt childish by acting in that manner, but I really wanted her attention.
She had the good graces to finally acknowledge me. "What is it that you need darling?" She placated me.
"Esme, how many times have I asked you not to spend obscene amounts of money. It's like when I talk you have some kind of filter that completely blocks out my voice, and you're not the only one with that problem." I said and cast my angry glare on the vampire that was hiding behind his mother. And one would have me believe he was some bad killer in wars. "I'm not comfortable with these gifts, and I cannot accept them. You have just wasted your money because you are just going to have to take it back. I'm sorry for your inconvenience, but I have warned you. Maybe next time you will realize I'm being serious and not just sprouting off. This child," I grunted while pointing to my huge stomach that no one could miss, "Isn't even born yet and already is treated like royalty." I huffed out as I studied Esme to see if she had finally gotten my point. She was just smiling a benign smile.
"What could possibly be so funny Esme?" I asked in a rather rude voice. I knew she had ignored every word I said, so when she bought me something else she claimed not to hear. But when I spoke about a sharp pain in my back she was all concern and love. I knew that woman or rather vampire had selective hearing, along with the rest of the Cullen's.
"Bella, darling, it wasn't I who bought you this pram." I was shocked and a little embarrassed by my outburst. I turned my accusatory stare on her son who had a short time to live. I had told him a million times not to spend absurd amounts of money on something so frivolous.
"Jasper, we have talked about this numerous times. Why can't you seem to understand the words I tell you?" I said in anger. Jasper looked at me with a smirk lingering on his lips. I wondered if he could feel and see the steam coming from my ears. "What?" I yelled finally losing my composure.
"Patience, angel. The stress isn't good for BB." He said in his ever calm tone. The nerve of that patronizing vampire, I wondered how high I could get the flames before he got the message. "As I was saying before you went off into another way-to-kill-Jasper-because-he-is-undeniably-sexy-and-not-listening-to-a-word-I-say stupor," I wondered if he was an actual Empath or if he truly had a death wish. "I wasn't the one to buy you the pram, angel." He finished with his holier-than-thou smile. I could feel my cheeks bypass red and go straight to flaming. I wondered if the flames cold burn my nonexistent brain. Jasper brought his hand to my cheek and rubbed the pad of his thumb over my cheekbone.
"I'm sorry Jasper," I said which couldn't describe my embarrassment, "if not you then who?"
"Who else angel? The one who has spent the most money out of all of us, the one who has been crazy with joy ever since he heard he was going to be in BB's life, the one who is even more excited than Esme and Rose, the one who is constantly taking up my talking time with BB because he thinks I've had enough time and he hasn't, the one who is driving me up the wall." He rebutted, and I should have guessed. He was the biggest spender of them all, combined, times ten; Carlisle. Ever since he found out about BB, and knew he was going to be a part of BB life, Carlisle had gone off the very, very deep end, according to his family. They had never seen him spend outrageous amounts of money, and they claimed he was usually fiscally responsible. BB was already bringing out the crazy side of people and he or she hadn't even been born yet. Carlisle even started to refer to himself as 'papa Carlisle'. I smiled at his antics, and the obvious love he had for my child.
Before I could answer Jasper's question, the guilty party came into the apartment with a smile that could have lit up the city for weeks. I looked over at the man who had become like a father to me, and felt the tears come to my eyes. Carlisle came over to me, because moving had become impossible when one weighed the size of a baby elephant, and crouched before me. "Thanks papa Carlisle for the pram. It was so unnecessary, but beyond beautiful. I'm sure BB will love it." I gushed trying to stop the tears that never left me alone and insisted on making an appearance every day.
"It wasn't a problem, anything for you and the baby, Isabella. I know it's a little overboard, but I just couldn't resist. It takes me back to a time that reminds me of home." I leaned forward and gave the man whom I thought of as a father a hug. He reciprocated while drying the tears from my face with his cold hands.
"How is that fair?" I heard Jasper complaining somewhere from the room. "We get our heads taken off, and Carlisle gets a few tears and a hug for his troubles."
"I know son, one would think that we robbed a bank while holding people at gun point for getting Bella a present." I wanted to laugh at their petulance, but also knew they had a point. I just had a special place for Carlisle, and his gifts. I knew if my own father could afford such elegance he would have given BB and me the world. Carlisle reminded me of my father in his loving, and inconspicuous demeanor. He gave me my father back, and I latched onto him and that presence in my life. I looked over Carlisle's shoulder and found Esme and Jasper. I gave them a watery smile, trying to show my love and thankfulness to them. Esme immediately melted and returned my smile. After another good sulk, Jasper finally relented and gave me the smile I loved the most, the one reserved just for me.
31 October/Saturday – Halloween – Bella's POV
Halloween was never a favorite holiday of mine. I guess since I had never really dressed up and was taken trick-or-treating, I found it to be just another ordinary day. I was excited, however; because this year I was going to be a mother soon and the thought of little children dressing in cute little costumes made me smile a silly smile. Rose and the others were going to some club that was supposed to be hot, and it was giving a three thousand reward for the best costume, so it was just going to be Jasper and me at home, which was always a welcome. We had gone to the store earlier in the week and gotten lots of candy to pass out. Jasper made a fuss about the unhealthy treats, but I scoffed at him. What did a vampire that never ate know about the goodness of chocolate?
We were going to have a scary movie marathon and I was going to pig out on pizza and candy. Carlisle had already talked to Jasper and told him that one night of a little indulgence wasn't going to hurt me. I loved having Carlisle on my side; it evened the playing field since I couldn't say no to Jasper. Carlisle had threatened him that if he took my fun night away there would be consequences. I didn't know what they were, but the name Emmett was mentioned. So there I sat happily eating my pizza with everything on it and trying to block out the death glares from my angry vampire. It was naughty of me to go around his back, but a pregnant girl did what a pregnant girl had to do.
"Don't sulk baby, it makes you look unattractive." I joked before I took a huge bit of my pizza and moaned just to rub it in.
"That is a bold face lie and you know I'm handsome in anyway." Darn him and that extra sense. I just shrugged my shoulders and finished off my pizza with sounds of delight. He continued to huff in the corner of the couch and I laughed when the bad guy in the movie tried to kill the girl that ran up the stairs instead of out the door. Some people really had no sense. When I finished my pizza, I got a candy bar out of the candy bowl and slowly unwrapped it. If I was going to sin tonight, I was going to do it well. Jasper shoved his arms over his chest, and I let out a giggle because of his petulant behavior.
I turned toward him on the couch, took a bit, and chewed slowly. His eyes became dark, and I found myself becoming lost in them as the candy bar hung from my fingers forgotten. A smirk blossomed on his face. I gulped and thought I had gone too far. Jasper started to scoot closer to me on the couch while I just stared. I was lost in his presence. "Was that good angel?" He asked and all I could do was nod. "Was it worth it?" Again I gave the same response. "Would you like me to help you finish that, your hands seem incapable of moving at the moment." His accent was coming out and I knew I was in trouble. I felt myself move back against the couch and inwardly cursed because there was nowhere else to move. "Are you stuck angel?" He all but purred. I felt my heart speed up and my cheeks reddened. He could hear my heart beat and knew I was nervous. Jasper finally leaned into me, avoiding my stomach, and whispered silkily into my ear, "Watching you eat that candy bar was amazing, angel. I must confess I am in envy of something that looks revolting, but made beautiful by your lips."
I wondered how he was so talented with his words. They caused reactions in me that I didn't think I should have been feeling. My mouth became dry and I found myself longing for something to quench the thirst and it had nothing to do with my chosen beverage. I brought my hands up and placed them on Jasper's secure chest. He removed his lips from my ear after he placed a kiss on my temple. He looked at me again, and I felt like something was happening, that we were both in a situation that was exhilarating and dangerous. I wanted to push him away, but also pull him in at the same time.
"Jasper, what's happening?" I asked like a confused child while hearing the evident fear in my voice.
"I don't know, angel." He whispered and gave me no comfort. He slightly leaned forward and I fisted my hands into his shirt even more. His lips all but touched mine before I heard the doorbell ring. I turned red and Jasper cleared his throat before quickly apologizing and helping me up from the couch. We both made our way to the door and opened it. There were several kids standing there looking adorable, and some older ones.
There was a little girl dressed up as a lion and she almost broke my heart with her sweet beauty. I gave her several pieces of candy and she gently thanked me in her angel's voice. I felt myself start to tear up again, but was able to hold it in. Next was a little boy dressed up as the scarecrow. His costume was fantastic and I knew he was the little girl's brother. He recited his favorite line from the Wizard of Oz and received extra candy for being a doll. We passed out the rest of the candy, and went back into the living room. My feet were already hurting, but I didn't care. It was worth it seeing those little dolls looking so cute. I knew a serene smile played on my lips, but I couldn't help the feeling of euphoria. I would soon be that mother taking her child trick-or-treating.
Jasper sat next to me and placed his arm around my shoulder. I could feel the smile on his lips as he rested his face on my head. His lips brushed my temple again before he spoke, "You're happiness is wonderful to feel Bella. It's so full of joy and excitement." I pushed more of my euphoria at him, and felt him chuckle. "Thanks angel." He whispered.
The rest of the night was spent in companionable silence. Nothing was said about the intimate moment, but that was fine. I was scared to lose Jasper and didn't want to make any sudden decisions. I was going to have a child and for now that was more than enough. Besides, Jasper was going to be there right beside me.
6 November/ Friday – Jasper's POV
Edward hadn't met Bella yet and I knew that wouldn't happen until later. When I questioned him on his reluctance in meeting her he said that Alice had cautioned him. He was vague on the details, but he said so was Alice. When Edward tried to read her mind, she would think about the times that Emmett tried to embarrass him, which would toss him out of her head quicker than Emmett could make love to a pastry. Thinking of Emmett made me think of the other day when he come over uninvited. I planned on asking him over sometimes, but he was like a rolling boulder (he couldn't be compared to a stone), he never let moss grow under him. One thing about Emmett was he took the initiative, when he wanted.
So being around Emmett of course gave Bella the experience she would need in becoming a mother. I knew he had his purposes every now and then.
"Hey Jazz," Emmett said while barging in. "where's the little round one?" He said as if he didn't have a care in the world like and was invited over. He was also lucky Bella did hear that comment.
"Hey Emmett, please come in and make yourself at home." I deadpanned.
"Don't mind if I do." He said ignoring my sarcasm. "So where is she?"
"Well brother of mine, answer me this, where is your wife?"
"I don't know. She said some shit about a girly day out or something. I wasn't really paying attention because she was wearing clothes." And then it was already time for the acid. Would he ever learn the meaning of too much information?
"Emmett, that's my sister you are degrading. Could you possibly talk about her like she is your wife?" I said in annoyance. Emmett scoffed, after rolling his eyes.
"Dude, stop with the ass kissing, Esme's not even here and your just jealous you haven't used your member's only in a while." I had to laugh at his saying. Leave it to my brother to find a creative phrase for the word penis. I was also annoyed he threw my sex life or very lack thereof in my face. He did have a point, and from his smug emotions, he knew he was correct.
"So you and Bella aren't shacking," He said using finger quotes, "up together?"
"Once again your amazing mind dexterity astounds me. Your ability to articulate such a sensitive and clandestine issue is top notch. Your manner in asking about my intimate relations shows your proclivity for communicating things, which are not your concern." I knew it pissed Emmett off when I talked like Edward. He was too easy to rile up.
"Damn it Jazz, just answer the question." He said in aggravation.
"Well to put into your terms, that is none of your business, and I would thank you to fuck off." I explained with a smile.
"There's the brother that I know and love. Both you and Edward are too easy to mess with, but you know I love my sisters, although Edward is prettier than you."
"There's no reason to be jealous Emmett. You're just upset Edward could get more women then you with a smile, than you could get with your little fishing pole."
"My fishing pole is far from little. I could reel in a great white shark with mine, versus a minnow that you and Edward would catch." He said. Again it was so easy to rile him, so I went in for the kill.
"Not from what a little birdie told me. According to the starling, you lost your bate not more than ten seconds into the action. Sounds like someone could use a few lesson on cast a long line." I said putting emphasizes on the word long. Emmett sputtered and if his heart were able to pump blood his face would have been red.
"How did you . . . who told . . . how?" He finally stuttered while I continued to laugh. I really did feel for him opening the can of worms.
"Would it make it any less true, brother of mine?" Emmett looked around the room, and I could feel his apprehension. Too bad there wasn't an available hole to swallow him.
"You have to understand Jasper, sometimes when Rosie moves her hips that quickly it takes me by surprise." He tried to explain and I wondered how I could get a bullet through my head.
I heard the front door open, and thanked whoever it was for their appearance in my life. I wanted to buy them the world. My walking miracle came into view wearing a white shirt, brown cardigan and her black wide ruffled collar trim coat. Esme and Rose had such a nice and classic taste in clothes. They seemed to know what would make my angel comfortable. Bella sat down, leaned over, and pressed her cool lips to my cheek. I guess the weather was colder than I thought. I never felt extremes, but when Bella touched me, she gave me that ability.
"Hi angel," I whispered in her face. I had missed her during her 'girly time'. Before she could answer, my brother's better half made her appearance.
"Are you telling Jasper about your ten second sprint to the finish line, Emmett?" They were too much alike. Bella looked confused at the question. Rose must have heard us when they were making their way to the door.
"Rosie, you know what happened." He whined while trying to defend himself. A guy could only try.
"Yes, yes Husband. And watch your language in front of the baby." She chastised while giving Bella a soft smile. It still amazed me to see that incredibly soft side of Rose. She was a totally different person with Bella, not caring she was human. I knew Rose also had an immense capacity to love. She just needed to open her heart a little more.
Emmett and Rose decided to stay for the evening. While I cooked Bella dinner, I rejoiced at having vampire gifts. I would never understand how something that smelt like shit, was supposed to be healthy. But anything was better than liver. I shivered when I thought about that slimy bile sliding down my throat. Some things were better forgotten; unfortunately I didn't have that ability.
Bella and Rose put away the things they had purchased for the baby. BB wasn't even born yet, and the child was spoiled beyond belief. It would never matter what I said, I would never be able to rain in my family.
After Bella finished her apricot chicken with steamed broccoli and new potatoes, and we were all sitting around talking, Emmett took it on himself to teach Bella what is was like having a child around.
"Do you want to play a game Bella?" Emmett asked her in an excited voice. I looked over at Bella and could see apprehension written on her face.
"What kind of game?" She asked hesitantly.
"What kind of game?" Emmett asked her. Bella seemed more confused than ever.
"I'm not sure Emmett. It was you're idea."
"I'm not sure Emmett. It was you're idea." He said. My angel looked over to me, silently asking for help, but I knew there was nothing to be done. Rose rolled her eyes at her husband's antic, already use to his behavior.
"Aren't you a little old to be repeating what I say?" I could feel her irritation start to rise. Bella was almost nine months pregnant, and Emmett had the audacity to patronize her.
"Aren't you a little old to be repeating what I say?" Bella narrowed her eyes, and I knew no good could come of this. It was a shame I couldn't warn Emmett, my mouth didn't want to cooperate.
"I'm warning you, Emmett." My angel said in fairness.
"I'm warning you, Emmett." My dead brother repeated in an annoying child's voice that reminded me of the kid from the movie 'Problem Child'. Damn I remember why I hated that movie so much.
"I hate you."
"I hate you."
"Grow up already."
"Grow up already." I was getting fed up just listening to their banter.
"I can't hold my liquids." Bella said, and I could feel her mischief reach out and almost choke me.
"I can't hold my liquids." Emmett intoned, not really paying attention to what he was saying.
"I swallow." My little kitten said while trying to hold her blush back.
"I swallow." He repeated once more. I reached out to Bella, and knew she was about to strike. I could feel her killer instinct.
"Ten seconds, Emmett." Bella said in a singsong voice. Damn my angel had a dirty mouth with a sharp tongue.
"Ten seconds, Emmett." Rose and I couldn't hold in our mirth and rolled over laughing. Emmett looked at us in confusion before he finally understood what he had said.
"Hey," He cried in indignation.
"What, brother?" Bella asked in her most innocent voice. "Was it something you repeated?" She brought her finger up to her lip while giving Emmett her full attention and batting her eyelashes.
"You know damn well what you said, Bella. And I don't appreciate . . ." He never got to finish
SLAP!
"Don't use curse words in front of the baby." Rose said after pelting my poor brother in the head. I knew he shouldn't have messed with Bella. She looked over at me and winked. I knew she was trying to fight the laugh that wanted to take over her body.
"But Rosie, the thing can't even understand me. How can it understand the difference between the word 'puck' versus 'fuc . . .?"
SLAP!
"It's not a 'thing', Emmett or an 'it'. BB is a child that will be here sooner than you would expect. It's not about BB understanding certain words. It's about setting an example for the little one." She finished in a dreamy voice; I could only imagine what she was thinking. I did know that she was excited to see the baby, but more excited to be a part of BB life. As Rose went off into the dream land of baby, Emmett looked over towards Bella and saw the smirk which was plastered on her lips.
"You will pay for this."
"You will pay for this." Bella repeated. Damn my angel was good. It was also a good thing Rose couldn't read minds, or else I would probably get slapped for even thinking a curse word in front of the baby.
"Don't threaten me." Emmett said not really realizing that Bella was copying him.
"Don't threaten me." Once he cottoned on I could feel his annoyance.
"Stop copying me."
"Stop copying me."
"I love having sex with Jasper." He said in stupidity trying to get Bella to copy him, not quite knowing what he said.
"You love having sex with your brother?" Bella asked around her unladylike laugh. Rose, if she were human, would be in tears from her laughter.
"What," I yelled. There was no way I was being pulled into this shit.
"What," Emmett yelled the same time as me. His wonderful wife just laughed along with my little demon. "No you were supposed to repeat what I said and admit you are having sex with Jasper. He said earlier that is wasn't my business alluding to a sex life. He also said you fuck off." He tattled like a little boy to Bella. I knew Emmett was thinking if I'm going down, then so are you, regardless if he lied. His superior smirk said it all.
SLAP!
"Man Jazz." He yelled, finally not cursing after tattling about my 'fuck off' statement.
"Stop lying and saying inappropriate things about me. And don't use words like 'allude'." I added as an afterthought. How did a simple game of copycat . . . go to my brother loving to have sex with me? One never knew what was going to happen with Emmett around.
"Perhaps we should just watch a movie, and be quiet." Bella murmured, finally catching her breath from laughing. I looked at my angel and thought again how very smart she was.
"That's the best suggestion I've heard all evening Bella." Rose said, also finally recovering from her laughing fit.
The rest of the night was spent in relative silence with Emmett shooting glares in Bella and my direction, but the best part of the night was being able to hold Bella in the safety of my arms. When she was there I knew harm couldn't come to her, and if someone tried, even heaven couldn't save them.
14 November/Saturday – Bella's POV
Being pregnant was the pits. I wanted to shoot whoever felt the need not to warn me about what being pregnant was like. No sane jury of my peers, meaning anyone who had ever been pregnant, would convict me. My weight was enough to challenge a sumo wrestler, and then all I had to do was sit on him to claim victory. Jasper had been a saint, doing everything and anything he thought would take the pressure off of me. I may have been a raging hippo at times, but he always took it with a grain of salt. He allowed me my space when I needed, and comforted me when I cried over how long it took me to go to the bathroom. My feet hurt, my back hurt, my ankles hurt, my ass hurt. I never said ass, but it really did hurt.
I could feel the tears that came to my eyes as I thought about the curse word I had just uttered. I knew I was going to be a bad mother. I couldn't even stop dirty words from entering my head, so how would I even be able to care for a child. I furiously wiped the tears from my eyes and rubbed the pain in my back. Jasper was gone for the day taking care of his eating habits. He only wanted to stay away for a few hours, but I knew he deserved a longer break from me than that. I would have been gone for days at a time if I had to deal with someone like me, but that showed the difference between Jasper and I. He was amazing, and I was fat. The dreaded tears came to my eyes again, and I couldn't help but think how pathetic I felt. As I reached for my face again to wipe the tears, I heard a knock on the door. I knew there was no way I could walk over there in time for the person to be fed up and leave so I called out to whomever was there to just come in. Jasper would have skinned me alive if he knew I hadn't locked the door, and just let whomever in without looking, but fortunately he wasn't present. By the time I looked up to see who it was, Rose was standing in front of me. I wondered if I would ever get use to their bursts of speed and eerily quiet movements.
"Hey Rose." I said in my sad, pathetic voice. She gave me a sympathetic smile, and it took me a while to get beyond her beauty. Someone broke hundreds of molds when she was created. "You're so pretty." I blurted out. I missed the filter I used to have in my mind. She just gave me an indulgent smile.
"Hello, Bella and thank you." She said humbly. I was told from Jasper about her and Edward's fight. He thought she was beyond vain, and she thought he was a stiff, but for some reason Rose never showed me that part of her. All I had was her loving, caring, and humbled sides, the only time she ever became angry around me was when Emmett decided to do something not approving. I wondered if she felt sorry for me, having to carry around a whole other person. I knew she read all of my magazines and maternity books, so maybe she just empathized with me. I also knew she had wanted a child. I could tell from out first meeting and the way she had longingly looked at my stomach. My heart ached for her infertility, and her most scared wish never coming true. Regardless of her actions, I was lucky to have such a marvelous friend, and surrogate sister. I still hadn't met Alice yet, and I was beyond scared to meet her. She had been Jasper wife and lover. She had been his savior in his depression, and his entire world when he fell in love with her. I knew her to be beautiful, because all of Jasper's family was, and her selfless love for him seemed almost unmatched. Esme and Carlisle love Jasper with everything they were, but it was a different type of love, not borne of romance.
"Bella are you feeling alright? I've been trying to get your attention for several minutes, and your face is a little flushed." I was pulled from my inner soliloquy and felt my face become even more flushed. I hoped my child didn't get this dreaded trait.
"I'm fine, Rosie, I just have a lot on my mind. I'm sorry if I'm being rude, you've come all this way to see me, and I'm in my own wonderland." I tried to apologize, but it sounded like whining to my ears.
"Would you like to talk about anything?" She asked in her sweet voice as she placed her cold hand on mine. It again amazed me that Jasper didn't feel that way to me.
"It isn't anything you haven't heard already, Rose, and I don't want to bore you any further." She gave me a smile saying that I could never do such a thing, but I begged to differ. "Not that I'm not thankful for you coming over and distracting me from myself pity, but is there a specific reason?"
"Well for one, I wanted the pleasure of your company," I couldn't help the tears that came to my eyes at her confession. She was a doll, "two, I was wondering if you wanted to be my lunch date. Seeing as no one else in my family eats human food that left me with you. Three, I know you must be feeling just awful and guilty for feeling awful about BB, so I wanted to try and distract you. How about it Bella, would you like to get lunch with me? Although, I must warn you there will be only be one person eating, and the other claiming not to be hungry." She said in jest trying to make me smile, which she did. How could she not? I would have loved to go out to eat, but I knew it would take me forever to get ready and then out the door, by the time I was finished it would be dinner. Rose, in seeing my dilemma, gave me the solution to my problem. "There is no reason to worry Bella. I'll get what you need and bring it to you. Would that be better? And I promise you can order anything off the menu, I just won't look when you order something unhealthy." I had to laugh at my friend.
"That would be wonderful. You don't know how much I needed you right now Rose. Here I am sitting on the couch with an oversized shirt and baggy pant feeling sorry for myself when I have so much to be thankful for, you being one of those." Before I had a chance to cry for the hundredth time that day, Rose bent down, gave me a kiss on my cheek, and left the room to get what I needed.
After I was dressed in my Convertible Button Front Maternity Dress (another one of Esme's buys), leggings, and Ballet flats, I was pronounced ready to go (on profile). Rose grabbed my Hooded Wool Maternity Coat and helped me into it. The weather was getting colder and colder. I was lucky though that I wasn't hot and fat. I walked over to the passenger side of Rose's BMW X6, and shut the door. I was still a little fearful of cars, but was thankful she had brought this one instead of her sportier one, a Z something. I could never keep all their cars straight. Their love affairs with them were legendary, and I thought Rose may have been worse than Jasper, which was saying something.
Lunch had been such a blessing in disguise. Even though I thought I was too dressed up, and she took me to an unnecessarily expensive restaurant, the food had been unbelievable, and her unfailing company even better. She talked to me of her past, and her desire in wanting to have a child. She told me of Emmett and how he had saved her from an eternity of madness and lonesome, her love for him, and his easy acceptance of what he had become. He helped to release her guilt and learn to accept the person she had become. Their story was beautiful, and I was prodigiously proud of myself for only shedding a few tears.
"Emmett may be brash and completely unable to handle at times, but he truly does love his family. Emmett has an uncommon skill in seeing the good side of so many things. He goes through life with a smile on his face and love in his heart for his family. He may try to always come off as macho and unfeeling, but underneath his façade is someone who also wants to be loved. He may try to tell you how much he loves sex and all the different positions he loves to try, but his favorite thing about being intimate is the afterglow." I was glad when she ended it there. I wasn't sure how much more information I could take on their sex life, I could just feel the hotness in my cheeks. "He puts his arms around my waist and buries his face in my hair. He murmurs his love for me while kissing my neck." Her eyes glasses over, and her words became longingly soft. It was a side of Emmett I could picture, despite his boisterous side. In their solo time he loved Rose, and gave her the closeness she needed. I grabbed her hand that clutched the end of the table and gently squeezed. She looked into my eyes and her watery tears matched my own.
"I promise not to tell." I said, and she gave a small laugh. I would never tease Emmett about such a beautiful thing between them. I was grateful to Rose for letting me hear such a soft side to Emmett. "That sounds jut heavenly Rose." I said in an almost dreamy voice I didn't quite recognize. When I cleared my voice, I looked at Rose again and saw a peculiar look on her face. "What's the problem, Rose? You look a little funny." She just laughed at my assessment and I wondered what she had been thinking, but I didn't have to wait long.
"Have you and Jasper talked about your feelings for him?" She asked in the most blunt, no nonsense way. My skin became red, and I cursed myself for opening my big mouth to her about our little kiss after the accident.
"Rose," I whined in an exasperated voice, trying to keep my face from going magenta.
"It's a perfectly appropriate question, sister." She sweet talked me. I, however; begged to differ. I thought I wasn't so transparent with what I may have been feeling for Jasper. My emotions were so washy lately that I wasn't sure which way to go. I knew I loved Jasper more than anything, and his friendship had meant everything to me. I also knew that whenever he had entered the room lately, or just gave me a simple smile, my heart would instantly react making me turn away in embarrassment. He could feel what I felt, and hear my erratic heartbeat, and I cursed vampires in that instance. It was truly unfair, to have been so blessed with looks, personality, skills, and his extra senses that I could never really hide anything. We never talked about our kiss after the accident. It never felt like the right time, we were trying to learn to forgive each other, and learn to live with our different personalities. Jasper had only been back in my life for three months, but sometimes it felt longer than that. Add on my constant mood changes, and his family, we never took the time to discuss what may have been there. I also knew that I was scared to enter into something with him, and not have it work out. It was a legitimate fear, and I could never imagine what I would do without him if things went bad.
"Tell me what you are thinking, Bella."
"It's very complicated Rosie." I started with a shaky voice, "On the one hand Jasper is my best friend and the love of my life, and when I say 'life' I mean 'life'. He was there for me when I was a little girl and on the brink of death. I'm positive they wouldn't have found me in time, and it was Jasper that saved me. He was there with me through everything I went through in my life . . . in my thoughts and in my heart, and he is always with me no matter what life may throw me. He loves me unconditionally, as I him. I've hurt him with my actions, despite what he may say, and I'm sure there will be other times in the future where he may get hurt, life is never certain.
Then there is the other side, the potential for something extraordinary for us, some place for our feelings to be explored, some place where our feelings for each other can be something inexplicably undeniable. But with that potential comes the bad. I don't know what I would do without him Rose. It is a possibility I cannot fathom. I need him and it's just that simple. I don't have the strength or courage to gamble our friendship on possibilities." I said with conviction.
"But darling, by staying still you are never moving. You are in the same place, doing the same thing, and never allowing yourself the possibility of seeing what else there can be. You limit yourself and never get to witness and live the 'what-ifs'. The best things in life, Bella come from the unknown. Yes we suffer, and we live through our difficult times, but when it finally passes and we open up our eyes we get to see that beauty that is left behind. It's one of the reasons I love rain storms so much. They are ugly at times, and can be violent, but when they pass, there is calm and a newness that exists. It brings new life, and the potential for more things to grow." Water came to my eyes at her words, and I knew she was right. I was letting myself stunt what could have been. She grabbed my hand and wiped the tears that fell from my face. "Putting all the flowery words aside, Bella don't let your fear rule your actions. You are a strong, intelligent, and gorgeous woman. You are about to have a child that you have carried for nine months, showing how strong and resilient you truly are. Tomorrows is always an unknown, but think about what you would like for your tomorrow, and if you are granted with it, fill it with something that your heart desires and that would bring you happiness. I'm not trying to make you do something. I just don't want you to waste your effort on fear and anger like I did, Bella. Trust me when I say it accomplishes nothing. So when you feel ready and more secure, think about telling my brother, and then do something about it, yeah?" She finished and gave me a wink. I laughed at her action, and felt lighter than I actually was. It was amazing what a little talk could do for a person.
"We'll see." Came my simple answer, but my smile gave it away.
"So we shall." She answered in her knowing, but comforting smile. "I'll be here for you Bella, and for BB, no matter what the outcome may be. You are now stuck with me." I picked up her hand that was still in mine and brought it to me lips. It was cold, but still a comfort to me.
"As are you with us, Rosie." She turned her hand to my cheek and rubbed under my right eye. A throat clearing took our moment away from each other and onto our stunned waiter. His eyes were glazed over, and it was obvious he was thinking some naughty things. My face took on its customary blush, and Rose became what everyone claimed she could be.
"Is there a problem with your mobility, or are you trying to keep yourself from showing others why you can never please a girl. Five seconds must be a record for you, but the wet stain is such a turn off. I suggest you get someone else to give us our bill, take the time to clean off your sticky mess, and leave us in peace. If not I'm sure your manager could recommend a doctor to help when you are fired from your job. Have I made myself more than clear?" I was shocked at her words, but proud of her. Our waiter was beyond disgusting, and my embarrassment was becoming harder to control. I rubbed my back, trying to get the knot out that continued to pester me, and blamed him for my continued irritation.
"GO!" I finally yelled losing the battle over my pain. Didn't he get the message? He jumped at my scream, and decided to leave, lucky him. I felt bad for yelling at him, but he didn't understand English. Rose let out an unladylike laugh, while she hit the table.
"You are too precious, Bella. I think I may be a bad influence. Don't tell Jasper or else he won't allow me to see you any longer. I don't think he could cope if I turned his little angel into a bad girl." She said with a wicked smile lingering on her beautiful face.
"That's enough out of you, missy." I tried to hide my face at her words, for obvious reasons.
When we finally got our unsoiled check and paid the bill, Rose came around to help the fat lady up from her chair. I couldn't wait for this child to be out of me. I winced a little and Rose looked at me with concern.
"It's nothing Rosie, just the pregnant woman making noise." She scoffed and put her hand on my stomach. I got tired of her asking all the time if she could feel my stomach that I finally snapped at her one day and told her she could touch my stomach whenever, it wasn't one of my good days or finest hours. Jasper did so why not her. She was still hesitant at times, but becoming more comfortable. She could feel the baby kick, because BB thought I was a football, and a grin came to her face.
"It never becomes old, always phenomenal." She said with wonder filling her voice, and a light in her eyes. I was glad I could give her something she had never had or experienced. I tried to hold in my pain but, I had overdone it today. "Let's get you home, Bella. Sorry if I kept you out too long." She apologized.
"It's no worry Rose, just need to sit down to take the pressure off my legs and back. I had an incredible time today, and it was something I needed, so no apologies, only smiles."
We made our way back to the car in silence, and I had to sigh when I finally sat down in the plush leather. I turned on the seat heater, and let it work its magic with my sore muscles. I closed my eyes and let Rose's sweet hums fill my ears and take away the stress. She actually drove the speed limit because she knew of my lingering fear and also because of the weather. It rained a lot. At the thought my back suddenly tightened, and I grabbed my lower back as a whimper escaped my lips.
"Bella, what wrong?" Rose asked and I could hear the real fear in her voice.
"It hurts Rosie." Was the only response I could give her. The pain was becoming almost unbearable to manage.
"Take my hand darling." I heard her say over my pain, and felt something could grab onto mine. It was again a comfort to feel the unnatural coldness. "You squeeze all you like. It's nearly indestructible." I laughed at her joke, and then regretted it as another pain shot through my back and then my stomach. I was now starting to worry. It didn't feel natural anymore. I squeezed her hand as another pain hit me and bit my lip in trying not to scream.
"Scream if you need to honey. Don't worry about me." I could hear the fear so clearly in her voice, and it added to my own. I didn't want to make her sad. A sharp pain swept into my side, and I couldn't suppress the yelp that came. Rose took her eyes off the road, and focused on me. My fear grew at her action.
"Please, Rosie, don't take your eyes off the road. I'm scared of that." And the tears finally fell from my eyes. Rose pulled over when there was finally a break in the road. I could hear each individual drop of rain that hit the window where my head was resting. The coolness of the glass helped to lower the temperature in my skin. Each drop seemed to be in sync with my pain, and accompanied me with each whimper that escaped my lips.
"What do you want me to do Bella?" Rose asked in uncertainty, tears clouding her own eyes. She had never dealt with a pregnant woman, and her indecision was understandable. I brought our joined hands up to my face, and let her coldness chase away my heat. Before I could answer, her phone rang and she hastily took it out of her purse with her other hand and brought it to her ear.
"What," She yelled in fear and also aggravation, but I knew she didn't really mean it. She was frightened for me and BB. She just wasn't prepared and neither was I. I could hear the fast whirl from the other end of the phone, but couldn't make out the words. I wondered how anyone could understand such speeds, and such a high pitched volume. I grabbed my stomach with our joined hands as the most incredible pain hit me again.
"Rosie," I cried out in a mumble, biting my lips. I could taste the coppery blood in my mouth and felt my gag reflexes take over. My vision was blurred from my tears, and my nose was filled with the scent of blood. I bent over as far as my painful stomach would allow, and rid myself of the hamburger I had for lunch. My tears fell from my eyes, and joined my sick by my feet.
"I'm here Bella, I'm here honey." She rubbed my back as I wiped my mouth with my coat, and cried in my anguish. I could hear the other person on the phone again, and it sounded like they were in a near panic.
"What Alice? I'm trying to help Bella and all I can hear from you is high pitched noise. What the hell am I to do?" She shrieked, finally breaking from her fright. I wanted to laugh at her old world English, but all I could do was cry. And then before Rose inhaled sharply in alarm, and I screamed, wetness flooded my leg and fell to my feet. It was more than unpleasant and a little gross.
I turned to Rose, and tried to clear the water from my eyes. "I'm sorry Rosie. I didn't mean to ruin your car." I said in honesty. I loved Rose and didn't want her to be angry at me.
"I could care less about the fucking car, Bella. All that matters to me are you and BB." She screeched at me, and an unexpected smile came to my lips.
"I love you tender Rose." I whimpered as another pain hit in the middle of my stomach. I wasn't sure how much longer I could take of this.
"I love you true, Bella." She cried. It was a joke we had and started when she told me about Emmett and his Elvis Era. "I'm going to take you to the hospital, Bella." And I knew it was finally time for the baby to come. I was not nearly nine months yet, but I guess the baby was anxious to come. I was scared by the early arrival and prayed that all would be fine. I needed my child to be fine.
"Yes, Alice I'm taking her as we speak. I just pulled back onto the road." She barked into the phone. The name brought me out of my despair and I thought about what she had seen. I knew from both Jasper and Rose she had the ability to see the possibilities of the future. I was a little intimidated with her being this close to me, and then I thought of Jasper and her love and concern for him. My pain had clouded my mind and took him from my thoughts. I cried at my forgetfulness and my sin in disregarding the most important person in my world. "Carlisle is going to meet us there, and you've called Jasper and he's on his way." She sounded like she was repeating. "Yes, I got it already Alice. Is there anything else?" When she was finally done talking, she briskly thanked her sister and threw the phone onto her lap before she grabbed my hand again.
"It's going to be fine Bella." She said in a high voice. I felt like she was keeping something from me, but just couldn't focus on anything beside my apparent pain. I felt bad for not being able to listen to her, but there was nothing I could do. "I'm here sister, and Carlisle will meet us at the hospital." I relaxed a little at papa's name, and knew he would take care of me. "Jasper's on his way, Bella. He said he loves you, and he knows you are the strong kitten he loves." I let out a shaky laugh at his words, and felt comfort from my love. I knew that Jasper would be there, he always was. I felt no fear or disappointment because I knew that Jasper would take my pain from me and give me nothing but his love.
"Thanks, Rosie. I love both you and Jasper."
And with those final words, I screamed again at the immense pain I felt before everything went blissfully dark.
Author's Notes Continued: And then there was one. I cannot believe the story will be done shortly, but there will be more. I'm in the process of now coming up with ideas and trying to outline each chapter. If anyone has any ideas please let me know. I would love it if I could involve them into the next part of the story.
If anyone was confused with anything please, let me know. I'll try and clarify. Also to all those who review, they get a sneak peak at the last chapter.
Again thanks to all who have stuck with the story. I hope everyone have a lovely week (or what is left of it) and an even better weekend. Much love as always . . . darlings. :)