*I do not own Fruits Baskets, Naruto, Harry Potter, or Bleach.
Chapter Two
Lady Tsunade woke on the way to the Hospital, and was informed by a somewhat miffed clone of Nanami that, " I thought you said you were a healer. What kind of med-nin faints when they have patients?"
Tsunade paid no attention to the fact that she was being carried. She threw back her fist and punched. The cloned disappeared with a puff, leaving Lady Tsunade covered in neon pink, and sprawled on the ground.
Nanami feeling how her clone was dispelled turned and went back to stop by Lady Tsunade. Her lips forming a smirk as she saw the neon pink Hokage.
"Why the HELL am I pink?" thundered the former blond and pink-less sannin.
"Well you see, all my clones, well harmless inside the village, will still release a color bomb, if dispersed by violence. It's a safety measure you see. Yes Konoha is a safe village, but spies can and have infiltrated before. So my clones when, killed or met with a violent end will mark said person with a color bomb so they may be found and interrogated for later. Oh it will wash off your skin, but hair and clothes are another matter...I'd have to 'coat' you in my chakra."
"Do it."
"I can't...I don't have enough chakra. Well I do, but its only half of the ¾ chakra that Iruka split between me and Hanataro. I'm only to use it if I'm dieing. I don't want to use it because once I do, its gone and Ru-chan will never get it back."
"I see, well I don't understand how Iruka-san could give you a part of his chakra: But we can all chat about it later. After the pink is gone."
"Hai Hokage-sama."
Nanami, her clone and Tsunade-sama made the rest of the way in silence to the hospital. Once there a rush of barked orders from Tsunade had the med-nins and nurses scurrying left, right and center to fulfill her every demand. As she waited for the med-nin and Hokage to return with news on why her teammates had both collapsed, she drifted back in time, viewing her memories of her beloved older siblings. Kushina she knew was dead, but the others...if they are still alive she should inform them about her death. As well as the death of her son, their nephew. They most likely think I am dead as well. I haven't contacted them in ages, I should go and see them in person. News like I bare should be told in person and not a letter. Sigh. I hope they wrote me, so I at least have addresses and places to look for them, it would be a pain to search the whole outside. I most likely wouldn't see Koncha for another 16 years. But if I did find them it would be worth it.
Tsunade's POV
My goodness, what the hell has happened to you Iruka? Your nothing but skin and bones. Why haven't you been eating? How long has it been since you last ate? Umino Iruka you so had better wake up and tell your Hokage. Erg. How is it that a desk ninja and teacher such as yourself came across all these scars? Damn Damn Damn. You'll need a lot of blood fusions as well. I hope you get better soon, you are one of the most entertaining chuunin I have ever met. Plus the most organized. And your teammates, they'll want you better too. Hmm an Uzumaki for a teammate uh? And that other one with the gloomy kicked puppy face...I want to know more! Why did she think Naruto was dead? Sigh. Should I tell her, or let you? Gah! Its been four hours. I only had to spend about half and hour on your teammate Hanataro, all he needs is lots of rest and food, but you Iruka...Damn Damn Damn. How the hell did I not notice? I'm the best med-nin the elemental continents have ever seen and yet you manage to fool me. I'll need to update that Uzumaki teammate of yours.
Regular
"Well Miss Nanami, care to fallow me to the Hokage tower and we'll talk there?" asked a drained Tsunade.
"Are you sure you want to talk to her? Or are you after your saki stash?" Shizune questioned.
"Brat! Get the hell out! This is important! Wait! I want you to go snoop around the mission room. Find out what is being said about Iruka collapsing, specifically if he has ever fainted before. Dismissed! And for heavens sake be sneaky about it!"
The door whoosh shut because of the draft Shizune made in her hurry to leave the office. Nanami's lips twitched slightly into a smile. Then abruptly turning she faced Tsunade and asked the question that had been bothering her, "Why did you faint before?"
"Hmm, a moment please." Tsunade then quickly performed a rapid set of seals, effectively locking the room down and preventing anyone from entering or listening in. Then rummaging around in her desk produced a saki bottle and two cups, "Drink?"
"No thank-you. Alcohol of any kind does not make me drunk. Distilled water however does."
"Your joking!"
"Fraid not. You see for some reason Uzumaki's are immune to alcohol. And distilled water is the only thing that gets us drunk. Well for whatever reason, I can make a lot of money off of ninja's who think they can out drink me."
"I thought that was a myth...Well never mind take a seat. And I suppose there is no easy what to say this but, Uzumaki Naruto is very much alive."
"..."
"..."
"Jiji you are so lucky you are dead. So where is my nephew now?"
"He is training with Jiraiya. And has been for almost two years."
"My precious little nephew is training all alone with that lame pervert who wrote Icha Icha? What the bloody hell? His own perverted techniques will be severely stunted! True perverted and once feared Uzumaki's will have to hide their heads in shame! They will start to roll in their graves! If my beloved nephew wanted to train as a pervert he should have asked Iruka-san for pointers until I came back! True perverts do not peak into the women's (or men's) baths, they infiltrate, or design uncanny ways and positions from which to observe! They take perversion to a whole new level! They create art! And most importantly if they fall in love with someone, when that someone dines to take a bath in the public bathes, they let no one near! And they themselves do not peak!"
Tsunade sweat dropped, "Naruto does not want to be a pervert. He wants to become the Hokage."
"Oh. Well that explains why he would be traveling with Jiraiya. Thank god, the Uzumaki clan does not need any more perverts. What a relief."
" Um didn't you just get done saying how the Uzumaki were true perverts?"
"Yes I did. But that is because whatever an Uzumaki decides to do we do to the extreme. Plus we are unpredictable. That is important. All in all team 13 is the only group of perverts you need. And we are not true perverts. We were enablers, you ever wonder where Jiji got his crystal ball? We gave it to him, and in exchange we never had to go after Tora the cat ever again. We were short of genin teams that year, and Tora...well escaped a lot. Usagi sensei was so proud of us."
"...damn wish I had thought of that. Well now to get to your teammates' condition. Both are showing signs of having not ate anything, or having slept as much as their bodies need. However it is Iruka I am concerned with, he has bruises and cuts all over his body. In short it looks as f he was being beaten bloody everyday since before I became Hokage. That's a long time. I don't know why he looks like that, or why he would be being beaten like that. If you could find out and report back to me, we can probably do something to change that. Naruto would be heart broken to find out how his favorite teacher is being treated."
"I will look into it. When he tells me, I would like to propose a bet, and hopefully get even with the perpetrators of the crime."
Tsunade inclines her head. Nanami closes her eyes wondering how her guys could have both been so neglected. "Tsunade-sama?"
"Yes?"
"Do you know what the condition of the Usagi clan holdings are in?"
"Hmm? Well I believe it is to be blown up this afternoon."
"Why prey tell is that?"
"No one lives there or owns it, or wants to own it, plus the council considers it an eyesore."
"Hmm...interesting. Well to bad the council is wrong. It does belong to somebody. Three somebody's actually. Team 13 to be exact. I pity the persons who tries do blow up the place."
"Why? And what do you mean team 13 owns it?"
"Simple really. All three of us were orphans, and Usagi was our sensei and he bequeathed the clan house and holdings to us. Iruka most likely moved out because Hanataro and I were not there with him. A house like that with memories of us all living together would have made him extremely lonely. As for blowing the place up, well we built a security system. Any one who places explosive tags on the property and then detonates them will cause it to back fire on themselves effectively coating themselves with itching powder. Personally I wanted blaze balm but Iruka didn't want to hurt anyone. And as for tearing the house down by hand...well it can't be done."
"...You know if it wasn't for the fact that its the council members themselves detonating the explosive tags, I would go put a stop to it right now. Well lets go take a walk shall we and inform them that the house owners are alive and kicking." Tsunade snickered.
An hour later:
Shizune walked into the Hokage office and spotting the saki bottle sighed, "Typical. I leave and you just start drinking saki and wonder off." She move over to grab and throw the bottle when she noticed something, it was completely full. Lady Tsunade hadn't drank a drop. Shizune's eye rolled back up into her head and she fainted.
When she woke up, it was to a frowning nurse who sternly informed her that there was a room full of itching council members needing treatment.
*Thank you that's it for Chapter two. Please tell me what you think. Also I need to know who Nanami should go after first. Tohru Honda, or Harry Potter, or Naruto?
** Special thanks to ArrancarMaiden and loretta537 for being some of my first reviewers! 3