Lesbianism
Sincerely (Louis) Vuitton

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, period.

Author's Notes: I'm back, with a new chapter! And I really, really enjoyed writing this chapter all because... I was bored. I really finished this on Monday, but I promised you I'd upload on Friday. So all I had to do was wait. Oh and after you read the story, make sure to watch out for my new drabble stories. Just wait, it's not uploaded yet. It's called: a memento of sasusaku classics.

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Chapter 7: Insanity in the Haruno Household

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The man looked up from the (interesting) ground and looked at the woman in front of him. Pink hair! Green eyes! Annoying smirk!

It could only mean one thing...

Sakura has a long lost twin!

...

Oh wait... That is Sakura...

...

Awkward.

"Sasu-Chan, I heard you and Saku-Chan are schoolmates, is it true?" His mother's voice struck throughout of his (awkward.) thoughts. She was clearly trying to do matchmaker.

"Yes, mother and please," this time he spoke as quiet as a mouse, "don't call me that in public."

His mother's eyes saddened, as if she was trying to deceive him, "Oh Sasu-Chan, why couldn't I? You're my youngest child, aren't you? Besides, Ita-Chan is way to old already, so you're the only one I could adore!"

The three (wait, what? three! that yamanaka's here too! no doubt she'll be telling that dobe his... uh... torture...) woman giggled at his mother's antics and guess what? He was beyond embarrassed and couldn't help but blush, not in microscopic form, but maybe the size of his cheeks. It's pink too. Sigh.

"Aww Sasuke-kun! You look cute when you blush," the rosette (who he clearly thought was sakura's long lost twin sister... itachi is right, he is foolish) was clearly enjoying herself and smirking to no end. He finally gave up his blush and went back to his dark, brooding self, much to his mother's disappointment.

Her mother gently (but with full force) nudged his ribs causing him to grunt in pain. He eyed his mother, while she gave him the look that said, "Be nice to them or I'll embarrass you more".

"Anyways, not to break up the mother-and-son moment, but why don't you sit down and have some snacks. Saku-Chan, Ino-Chan, come and join us," the rosette and the blonde didn't have any trouble disagreeing to that. They clearly wanted to see Sasuke suffer more. Plus, they ran out of cookies.

"Oh yes, of course Hana-Chan," the dark-haired lady pulled Sasuke's grip and let him sit on one of the black leather couches. The woman with red hair instantly sat next to Mikoto and began chatting with her non-stop.

Sakura and Ino sat next to Sasuke, which means being him in the middle, being interrogated by annoying girls.

"So Sasu-Chan..." Sakura started, still plastered with that annoying smirk of hers.

"Don't call me that! It's bad enough my mother—"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Sasu-Chan. You shouldn't shout, especially to ladies." He heard his mother dearest call from the end of the couch. The two teenage girls laughed.

"Aww, letting your mommy rule over you, Sasu-Chan?" This time, it was Ino who spoke in a teasing voice.

"Shut it, Yamanaka." His voice was dripping with venom and as soon as he said Yamanaka, it looked like he was spitting acid.

"Sasu-Chan..." He heard his mother's voice again, this time it wasn't as sweet as sugar. It was now as sour as a lemon. "Apologize to Ino-Chan and Saku-Chan!"

"Sorry." He grumbled, but his glare still present. This was still not good enough for Mikoto, and so, she sent him a menacing glare.

"No, no, no Sasu-Chan, remember what I taught you?"

"Yes, mother." His head was bowed down. Really, was the ground that interesting?

"Good, now go tell them the apology that I taught you."

He hated this.

"'I'm really, really sorry for being an egotistical jerk. I promise to be nicer.'"

He really hated this.

Before he knew it, the girls were laughing their asses off.

"Oh don't worry, Sasu-Chan, after what you did to me today, I totally forgave you."

Suddenly, the two mothers' eyes glanced at the pink-haired girl. She smirked, Sasuke blushed (microscopically).

"Oooh tell me, Saku-Chan! What happened, what happened?" It was Mikoto who decided to break the certain glances at the... couple.

"Mother! That is definitely a none-of-your-business type of thing." Sasuke probably said the most words for that day.

"Oh, but Sasu-Chan, you and Saku-Chan look so cute together!"

"I definitely agree, Mikoto-Chan!"

Sasuke grumbled, wasn't Sakura embarrassed? She should be. But noo, she was giggling along with that dumb blond! Was he the only sane one this room?

"So... Sasu-Chan, would you still like for me to tell them? It's only fair that they know."

Sasuke thought for a moment. Unfortunately, he did a very wrong move.

"Ye—"

"Great! Mikoto-Chan, you wouldn't believe what he did to me at school! It was absolutely... Shocking."

The two eager mothers leaned forward to hear Sakura's words.

"He..."

"Yes?"

"He..."

"Tell us, Saku-Chan!" The two women asked her simultaneously.

"Well, he—"

"I asked her to be my girlfriend." He inwardly flinched. What was he thinking? HE DID NOT SAY THAT. All he did to Sakura all day was call her pinky, annoy her and kiss her for no reason. He basically ruined her day.

Wrong move Uchiha, wrong move! Abort! Abort!

"WHAT!" The two teenagers (preferably blond and pink hair) shouted in unison. Sakura, who was trying to strangle Sasuke, was held back by Ino, using all of her force.

The two mothers however squealed in excitement. Dating leads to engagement, engagement leads to marriage, and marriage leads to babies! Cute green-eyed, black-haired boys and adorable, daddy's girl, onyx-eyed, pink-haired daughters! It was dreams come true... For them anyways.

"Sasu-Chan! I never knew you had it in you!"

"But Mikoto-Chan, he never—"

Sasuke quickly covered her mouth using his lips, after a short moment, they broke apart. He smirked, "She means, I never thought I would fall for a beautiful girl like you, Sakura-Chan."

Instead of blushing, she was furious, beyond pissed. How dare he call her his when she clearly had someone else!

Get over that lesbo, you got a hunk of man right there in front of you saying he fell for your beautiful looks!

"But alas, Sakura said she still couldn't get over the fact that I, Uchiha Sasuke, fell for her. Hard."

"WHAT! No—"

"Shh, Sakura-Chan, don't interrupt please. As much as I love to hear your beautiful voice, I clearly would love to explain to our mothers how we got together. As in a couple."

"We would love to, Sasu-Chan! Now Saku-Chan, stop interrupting!" Oh, so now her mother believed the guy next door and not her own daughter? Thanks a lot mother dearest. She is now humiliated.

Sasuke smirked. Think of this as revenge, Haruno.

"Well anyways, today at lunch I kissed her and she kissed (lie!). I asked her to be my girlfriend, and said yes right away."

Nice story Uchiha, as if my mother will believe—

"That is so adorable Sasu-Chan! Oh it's so romantic as well, don't you think so Hana-Chan?"

"Oh yes, definitely a yes!"

I stand corrected, her inner responded to her thoughts, by an egotistical bastard.

"So, when's the first date?" Sakura's mother asks, Mikoto nodded and they both leaned in to hear the answer from the raven-haired teen.

When Sasuke was about to answer, Ino (that backstabbing bitch!) responded in.

"Tonight!" Sasuke gave her a look of surprise, while Sakura glare at her and gave a her a look that said, "I thought you were on my side you blond idiot".

"That's why I came here to give her a makeover; she said she needed my help." Ino explained smugly, a little too smugly.

That's it... THIS IS GOING TOO FAR.

"Uh, excuse us for a sec mom," After that, Sakura grabbed the blond's arm and dashed upstairs to her room. As soon as they arrived, she locked the door.

"WHAT THE HELL INO!"

"Sorry, I just thought this would be fun, you know,"

"FUN? HE BASICALLY HARASSED ME ALL DAY AND YOU CALL THIS FUN!"

"Sakura, Sakura, Sakura... He did not harass you, maybe he was flirting with you."

"FLIR—"

"Let me finish,"

"Mmmph, fine."

"Okay good enough. Aren't a least bit curious why he told his mom you're his girlfriend?"

Sakura looked at the blond as if she had grown three heads. Why would she be curious? He did that so he can annoy her!

"Nope."

"You mean not at all?"

"Nope."

"Pretty stupid of you, tomboy."

"HEY!"

"Just go to the date, Sakura," she complied, "you might actually discover something new about him."

Before Sakura could answer, her inner thoughts blocked her mouth from opening. Ino could be right; maybe she needed to know at least a pound of information from Sasuke. He can't always be a jerk... Okay that's a bit of an understatement, he always is a jerk. But maybe there's some kind of soft side to him.

"Okay Ino, fine."

"YES!" Ino excitedly yelped and ran to her mahogany closet. She opened the door and rummaged through her clothes. Throwing shirts, pants or whatever it is that she could find in there.

Finally, in the very back of her closet, a green, halter dress appeared in the very hands of Ino. She doesn't remember having that dress. Her mother must've bought a few days ago.

"Oh Sakura—this is perfect! The color definitely pops out your eyes and it slims you perfectly." Ino handed the dress to Sakura and she catches it with ease. Sakura looked at the dress whole. It was beautiful indeed. It was green (as mentioned above) and it had a halter top. Behind it were backless, revealing lots of skin as soon as she wore it.

"Wait here, I'll tell Sasuke to get ready!" Ino dashed out of the door and down to the steps.

After a few minutes, Ino arrived, probably with exciting news.

"He said he'll pick you up in an hour, and he even told you that it doesn't matter what you wear, you'll be beautiful anyways! Isn't that romantic?"

Sakura scoffed. Stupid corny line, it wasn't romantic, it was plain lovesick. Ugh.

"No Ino, remember he's faking it."

Ino sighs, it was actually good for Sasuke to finally like someone, but alas he was faking it. So sad.

"Yeah, yeah, anyways! Take a shower! You smell like shit," Ino swatted her hand side to side, showing she was not a bit pleased to Sakura's smell.

Sakura smelled her armpits, and caused great shock to Ino.

"Forehead! That wasn't very ladylike!" Sakura just snorted. Yeah, so? I don't smell anyways!

"Don't do that too!"

"Do what?"

"SNORT! DUH!"

Sakura scoffed this time, Sasuke wouldn't care anyways. It's only a fake date. It's not like he had feelings for her anyways.

"Come on, take a fucking shower already, forehead! It's not going to kill you anyways."

"Alright, alright. Sheesh." And with that, Sakura trotted to the bathroom.

Finished!

A/N: Do you like it? I enjoyed making it myself. Review please, the button gets very lonely.

I know you're very anxious for the fake date. So am I, but I absolutely have no idea what the hell to put in it.

By the way, I really love reviews. And if there are reviews more than ten, I'd upload the next day, I swear. I really hate it when some people are actually nice enough to tell me to update and compliment me, but please, I want more.

I'm not forcing you to review but if you had the time, I would've really liked it if you did.

Bye for now!