Yo Yo Yo, It's mah Birthday, the day the world celebrates my birth!
Brick: Narcissist
Ignoring Brick's comment ; whoever can guess my age will have the next chapter dedicated to 'em. Also, PILLOW PETS ARE JACK! So I went and bought one, and the Velcro won't latch. It makes me feel like spandex {:`C} but, it does make a comfy carry-round pillow. So I guess it wasn't a totally loss.
DISCLAIMER: my skirt is black, with a slight red hue, I no own, so you no sue. I'm BEAST YO!
REVIEW REPLIES(I moved their usual spot, gotta keep you on your feet):
Candybaby-21 : AWW THANKS! You're welcome.
Mz. Briar: Of course you love it, I wrote it. YaY! Cuteness is what I was going for! And huggable too.
Yuki:2 months and five days? (I checked the review dates) yeah, he does seem that way. I bet he uses them too. Y'up, those are my favorite lines too. You know, I'm glad you didn't mind being hated by Barney AND Dora, cuz I'd thought you'd be offended or something. Aren't you proud of my memory, I remembered this! If only I remembered where my remote is. Well, I have a cookie monster shirt I spilled tie-die on. Now there's a purple-ish stain on his cheek.
PPGXRRB4EVA-GIRL: (1) umm you see…it got shot…by Dora. And was in pain so she couldn't appear. AWW! you would've recommended it to your bus driver, I feel so special. (2) yeah, I find it weird how he hugs everyone. Sorta like he's feeling them up. (3) no, from what I remember. They never said anything about her criminal side. (4) YEAH! RrB_X_PpG FTW(but there's not much competition)
Now Your probably thinking: "WTF WOMAN! DON'T YOU KNOW YOUR ALPHABET? IT GOES 'ABCDEFGHIJ' NOT 'ABCDJ'!" with lots of capital letters and computer anger. But to that I say: "HAZZA! I watcheth the Street of Sesame and see-th with my eye-ths that they do not spelleth the ABC's in order. So I saidth If they can do it, why can'teth I?"
For those who didn't notice this started with J and not E, GET YOUR EYES CHECKED!
I suggest listening to AllStar Weekend's song: Not Your Birthday . It has nothing to do with the story. But it's an awesome song and makes great work-out music.
The city of Townsville…...
"Pssst what are you waiting for."
Well, I was waiting for some current event to happen to narrorate about.
"make up something! I don''t have all day!"
The city of Townsville…is now on Boomerang? No, no, The City of Townsville...the place where everyone is healthy and fit. Except for one.
"Bri-i-ck, why won't you litter with us?" Boomer whined.
"yeah leader-boy, stop being such a spazzy queen and throw trash on the ground." Butch said.
"I told you guys, I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!" Brick yelled at an impossibly high pitch.
"Ya know what Boomer,"Butch loudly whispered to Boomer, " I think Brick is getting fat!" Butch pointed to Brick, who was wearing his fat pants, his gut was sticking out, and he had Twinkie and Cheese Fries wrappers all around him. All while in a comfortable E-Z Boy recliner.
"I am NOT fat!" Brick yells. To prove his point, he points at his "abs" AKA root beer gut (since he's under aged) and lifts his arms in the classic macho man muscle showoff position to reveal…Arm Sag. Basically, he's flabby.
Butch and Boomer just rolled the space where is eyebrow would be if they had one and pointed to themselves. Butch at his Taylor Laughtner abs and Boomer pointed to his Batman biceps. Then, they pointes an Brick's Santa belly. But before Brick could say :'I AM NOT FAT!', Boomer handed Brick a coupon to a local jazzercise class:
'This Coupon enables you to 1 free class.'
Then they kicked Brick's big ol' butt out the door and onto the spot right under the door. Brick was muttering about how stupid/dumb/ignorant/unnecessary this was. As soon as Brick got there, he gapes at what he saw.
It was a…MEGA CHUCK. .
Brick walked in slow motion toward the building, savoring the moment.
Did I ever tell you Slow-mo was a bad thing?
As soon as Brick was within a yard (meter) from Chuck E. Cheese, a 7 year old girl came down the sidewalk.
"What the Fu-"
Brick didn't get to finish that phrase. Partially because this is rated K+, but mostly becasue she had a plastic bag above her head and was screaming a war cry. Then she slammed his head into the bag, and grabbed his legs. Sorta like a football, a 5 year old sized football, but a football nonetheless. Then she did the most horrible thing anyone could do to Brick that wouldn't kill him.
Guess?
No, I'm not telling you. It's too terrible.
Horrible.
No good.
Very Bad.
Day. Wait, that doesn't make sense.
I guess I'll tell you since you keep asking.
She…chucked him into the jazzercise room. Isn't that awful?
This Mystery girl, stepped in told Brick something awful: "Boomer and Butch hired me to make sure you don't try to run. Oh, by the way, my name is Briar…Don't forget or I will find you."
"Find me how?"
"I know where you live." Briar replied, holding up a knife.
"Elmo much." Brick said. (A/N: you know that picture, Elmo knows where you live?)
"Exactly." She replied, just as coolly.
"YOU! Red-head with the ugly trucker hat! Shush yo mouth, I am trying to teach a class here. EXTRA LUNGES!" Said the teacher. Who had an eerily familiar look about her.
Suddenly, it clicked for Brick. "You're Yuki!"
"The one and only. And your…" Yuki pondered, "Your Brick! That sexist jerk, why I oughta. You must go to the room for those who are extra fat…I mean, physically challenged." Yuki said with an evil smirk. And pulled out a plastic bag from…somewhere. Anyways, she pulled a plastic bag from plastic-bag holding-verse and kidnapped Brick with it.
Man was it a sucky day for him; Captured by bag not once, but twice.
Yuki dragged him away into a dark, small room. There were only to things in it: a TV set to play Zumba Dance*, Mr. T pitying the fool who can't jazzercise, and Dora wants you to…JAZZERCISE.(Doraquierecontrolarsuvidacomo elhijo de putaqueesla manipulacióncon elpoder decontrol mentalque nos gustallamar...Jazzercise) (A/N I dare you to go translate that.)
But worst of all, there was a small radio in the corner playing the most terrible, horrible, no good, very bad station ever…COUNTRY MUSIC! ỊQue Asco! (A/N: No offense, if you like country. If you do, I'll let you change it in your mind to the Yo Gabba Gabba theme.)
"Waaaahhh! Why do you hate me so?" Brick cried. Yes….The awesome Brick, cried. Must be the Apocalypse.
"Hmm…I guess it's your voice. It's sooo…nasal. It annoys me." Yuki said.
"I'm offended."
"Exactly. Now, GET TOO BUSINESS!" Yuki commanded. And with that,she put silver anklets arounf Brick's…ankles (guessing he has some.) and put in Mr. T pitying the fool who can't jazzercise.
For about an hour, the only sounds heard from the room were:
"Twist yo' hip…fool"
*crack*
"Bend yo' knees, fool"
*snap*
"Stop acting foolish, foo'"
*grunt*
Until, Breck tried to escape….
FlAsHiNg BaCkWaRds\\\/\\\\/\\\/\\\/
"I am so CHUCKIN tired of this! I go. Escape. Sneak through door. Get out Building. Run like hell."
Brick then walked to the door.
"I'm sorry," a computerized voice said, "I can not let you through at this moment. Please turn around and get yo' $$ back in there."
"No, I'm Sorry." Brick said, before Zapping the screen in the…screen. But, that didn't do, anything. Instead, Brick's legs were being tazed by those anklets. "I know I shouldn't have let that, that, she-demon put anklets on me, I'm not the fashion one around here." Brick Muttered under his breathe.
FlAsHiNg FoRwArD/\/\/\/\
Aftering waking up from is tazertude, Brick had no choice but to exercise the Jazzy-way. But this time,it was worse. He COULD take Mr.T's taunts. He could Not however, take being thought of as demented. Which is what How to Jazzercise for DUMMIES! He, Brick…whatever his last name is, was not a dummy like Boomer.
"Now, take your right leg - If you don't know right from left, point of your hand and make a right angle with your pointer finger and thumb- And bring it behind your left."
" I don't got fingas, fool."
"Now, put your hands in the air. The air, is what you breathe from. And your hands are what your use to eat chicken nuggets."
"What if I don't eat Chicken Nuggets?...fool."
But WORSE, was Dora. She freakin taught us how to freakin Jazzercise in Spanish. How are you going to teach us how to Jazzercise in a different language when we don't know how in English? And how does freakin Jazzercising help you find your way back to The magically kingdom of Laziness. If your Lazy, you don't NEED to freakin jazzercise.
Anyways, All hope was lost for Brick, No food. No water. No family. Not even a freakin Video Game! Until, a Red conversed Angel Appeared through…the window?
"No way, Mz.B?" Brick gaped, "How'd you get in here?"
"Umm, didn't you see me? The window. D'uh. I thought you were the smart one." Briar replied.
"I am the smart one. Now just help me get out of here!" Brick shouted.
The curly headed Brunette had brought her lucky plastic bag with her and used it to blind/kidnap the computer. Then, Brick flew out the window, as Briar jumped.
"That was easy." Brick pressed his conveniently located easy-button. However, that was rewarded with a smack in the head.
"ARE YOU STUPID! Every time a character says 'That was Easy' the author comes from this magical land they call 'reality' and make our life chaos. D'UH!" Briar reprimanded.
"You know what? Screw reality, I have the right to say Th-" But, Brick couldn't finish that thought as he was kicked in the…neck by an angry raven-heades female.
"YOU! You…raped my computer!* That was the only way I could get onto Fanfiction and read My favorite Story ABC's RowdyRuff Style! You, you monsta. I KEEL YOU!" Yuki screamed/shouted.
Before Brick could make a plan, Mz. Briar patted Brick on the back and said: "So long sucka!" Before tuck-and-rolling away.
Now, if you're a fan of Fanfiction, You know that you sort of…go berserk when you have been deprived of it. That is exactly what Yuki did,
Somehow, Yuki went all avatar on Brick and Earthbended him to the ground. The she waterbended some water into his mouth. After that, she firebent his hair. She did nothing with Air as it is a stupid, useless element.
Then, she picked up a traffic light. How, the world will never know…And proceeded to smack him back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and…you get the idea. Then, kicked him out of his little trap and into his house.
But the sight that awaited him was worse then being Yuki's paintastic beating.
Boomer, Butch, and Briar were all watching his beating on…CNN!
"B-B-But how?" Brick wimpered, still in pain.
"Well, when I first caught you, I put a camera chip in your hat," Mz.B explained, " Then, I put a recording device on your shoulder when I rescued you from dancing in the cell—I never wanted to, the show was getting lame-ish – and at the end when I said so long sucka, I put one then cuz your other fell off."
"So…basically, you sent me to fat camp because…You wanted to see me beat up?"
"YES!" the all happily shouted. But then Boomer continued speaking, "And boy was it HILARIOUS! You…got beat (laugh) by a (chuckle) GIRL!" Boomer hysterically.
"What…did you say about girls?" Mz. B threatened, while cracking her knuckles and punching him all the way to where Yuki was.
Yuki, was still mad and Boomer just made it worse.
We cannot however, tell you what happened as that would be rated NC-17 and I am keeping this clean for the kiddies.
Meh, not my best. But I hope you liked it. You don't have to review if you didn't like it. I had to redo everything but the first 1/4th of this cuz it deleted on my manager AND on the document so it's a little rushed.
My birthday was like 9 days ago and I was gona update this a LONG time before that but my uploader was on crack...
This is dedicated to Who Wants A Bowl Full Of YUKI and Mz. Briar for adding me to their favorite authors.
I'm really sorry if you favorited me and I didn't add you in. Let me know and I'll fix that.
Oh, check out my story What The Hell: Blossom Edition if you didn't already.
I mean know offence by computer rapist. My friend Nick likes to shut my lid when I use my laptop, and that's not good for it, so I just called him computer rapist one day and the name stuck. If you're offended, I'll change it.
Oh, and Zumba is an actual dance thing, but I don't think they Jazzercise.
IMPORTANT! I NEED JOKES AND SUGGESTIONS AND…STUFF! I AM LOSING MY FUNNY! (I know, terrible ain't it) So, if you have any chapter title suggestion, or jokes you want me to do, LET ME KNOW!
This may be my last update for a while, cuz i'm really busy in summer. And My school gives us laptops but takes them away in the summer (which is reasonable) and with my family of computer hogs i(me included) i don't think i'll be able to write that much so i'm going on a writing spree and am getting at least the bases done so i can make ya'll happy before i hibernate for the summer.