Disclaimer: You know what goes here already.

Grey's is back and what an episode, finally! Thank you Shonda! I'm on Grey's high at the moment, sorry...

Apart from that, this time the title is from Elevator Love Letter by Star and it's easy to guess where I found this song. Not a brilliant title by my side, I know.

I almost forgot, this is Meredith speaking/thinking and I some fictional time passed from the last chapter, I needed to speed up things a little.

Enjoy and review!

Part 5 – Take Me Home

The beginning is simple to mark.

We were in sunlight

Ian McEwan

The morning of the flight to New York was very chilly, but impossibly sunny for a December in Seattle. We were expecting to find snow and we had it as soon as we landed.

"Oh, I missed snow" Derek joked, as soon as our feet were back on the ground.

We shared a good laugh, until we spotted Nancy waiting for us and we walked to her.

"Hey little brother" she immediately greeted Derek. I didn't expected her to come pick us. I immediately stiffened, reminding how our first meeting went. As soon as she took her arms off him, Nancy came closer to hug me as well and I let her be, surprising even myself. I wanted to start with the right foot this time, not as the slutty intern.

"Meredith, I'm so glad you are both here this Christmas"

"So are we, Nancy" I smiled

"How was the weather in Seattle?" she asked. Weather was always welcomed to break the ice, even with her brother.

"A little foggier, but sunny. I've almost regretted leaving town" he answered

"Mom would have killed you if you wouldn't bring Meredith here sometime soon!"

"I had to come. How's Martha?"

"She's fine, considering that Dylan is just a month old"

"And Kate?"

"Her teenagers are driving her crazy, but she's hanging on. She's more excited than Mom to see Meredith"

"I bet she is, she has always wanted the first opinion on every girlfriend she could meet and I got married without her!" he laughed

"What's all this post-it thing about anyway?"

"Just wait and we'll tell you. We have a whole week..."

"It will be only you two and Mom at home after Christmas, we have to go back to work, we're not that lucky! Maybe some kids will stay, but I'm pretty sure Kathleen's kids will go with their friends at the Hampton"

"They are this big?" he frowned. He was away from home for too many years for his likes.

"I'm afraid so"

"Damn, I miss them a lot..."

"Don't worry, they still remember Uncle Derek!" she teased, slapping him on the back.

We drove carefully out of town. All those suburban houses reminded me a little of Boston and my tension grew as soon as we were getting closer. As I saw Nancy slowing down, I could recognize a nicely decorated porch and a lots of big cars piled outside.

It was such a nice house and coming in, it felt so warmly home. Voices and squeals, chats and laughs were coming from the family room, where everybody was already settled. A dark haired little girl ran down the stairs and stopped right at the bottom, then squealed "Uncle Derek!" before running to hug him.

"Morgan? You got so big, how old are you now?" he seemed really surprised at the sight

"Three!" she showed her chubby fingers with a proud smile

"So you're a big girl already"

"See?" she giggled "This is Aunt Meredith?" she pointed at me

"Yes"

The girl hug me before I could even realize she moved from Derek

"You wanna come upstairs and play with us?" asked me nonchalantly

"Morgan, Nana wants to meet her so badly, she'll come later" answered Derek

"Ok, bye!" then she ran away in the kitchen.

"So, that was Morgan"

"Martha's second. God, she'd grown so much..."

"Meredith!" a dark-haired, tall woman approached the doorframe, a huge smile on her face. Stunningly beautiful. One of Derek's sister for sure.

"Kathleen?" I guessed. From the expression on her face I guessed right.

"Oh my God you're here. I can't believe I get to meet you, I was thinking that my little brother would keep you locked some time more" I laughed when she came closer to surprisingly hug me. The Shepherds were keen on hugging, apparently.

"It's so nice to finally meet the big sister. Thanks for keeping him in line" I tried to warm up the mood, she seemed nice enough to do so.

It was her turn to laugh, then she took our bags and jackets and led us to the room where the rest of the family was enjoying their afternoon. The two couches were already full, so chairs and armchairs were brought to make an imperfect circle around the coffee table. Just like I've always pictured a normal Christmas. There were two toddlers in a corner of the room, while all the other kids were missing, playing somewhere upstairs probably.

"Look who finally knocked" Carolyn's smile was to die for.

"Mom" Derek looked at her almost tear-eyed, and bear-hugged her. "I missed you so much Mom" he kissed her cheek.

"Meredith" she turned to me after setting free her son, then hugged me as expected. Warm, familiar, like I already belonged. That hug felt good.

"It's so nice to see you again Mrs. Shepherd"

"I thought I had to fly to Seattle to see you once more"

"That's why I convinced Derek to come over" we giggled.

"So, take a seat, how was your flight?"

We sat together with the rest of the family and slowly I caught every familiar bond, meeting husbands and kids - who came and went quickly back to their games - even the teenagers weren't so bad as I expected.

Later in the conversation came the tricky questions: "How long have you been married then, Meredith?" asked Katherine. She was so eager to know everything about us, asking dozens of questions. Derek needed to talk to her a little more often than once in a blue moon...

"Almost a year. I can't believe it myself..." I squeezed his hand gently resting on my thigh.

"And you got married on a post-it?" she seemed a little disappointed by the fact that we didn't hosted a huge, church-y wedding.

"Exactly. It's quite a long and sad story who led us to a post-it, but we've made it official not so long ago"

"We have just signed the vows on it" added Derek "It was an hectic period and we actually gifted our wedding to one of Meredith's best friends"

"Let me tell the whole story then, Derek, or they will think we like to give away weddings!" I playfully hit his forearm. He grinned and gave me time to explain them about Izzie, George and even back to his dark place and the proposal, but I carefully avoided the part when he hit my ring in the woods with a baseball bat before the engagement. He squeezed my hand in relief, it was his mother's ring after all.

"I know you have a busy life, residency is not a Sunday walk in the park, but have you been thinking about kids?" I froze the smile and Derek tightened his hold, inching closer. It would came up sometime and Kathleen was such a nice person not to answer this question. I just didn't know how.

"We're planning things, don't worry sis. We're building a house at the moment" quickly avoided Derek. Denial.

"I had a miscarriage after Derek had been shot" I blurted out, looking at Derek. He let go of my hand, glaring into my eyes. I felt tears welling up. The room became suddenly silent, every stare locked on us.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry" Carolyn's hand brushed motherly my forearm, trying to comfort a well hidden grief, easing a little the situation. I stood up and went out of the room, excusing myself. I couldn't keep up with the staring anymore.

I ended up in the kitchen, gazing outside the window the recent snowfall. Rushed steps entered in. Derek.

"What's wrong with you?" he yelled "Why you had to tell all of them?"

He was so angry that his reaction scared me.

"They're your family, they have to know"

"You could have asked!" he was upset

"My family knows, Derek!" I rose my voice too

"Are you kidding me!"

"I don't wanna live into denial. That was before. It happened, let's face it and move on, for God's sakes!"

"Whatever, Meredith!" he yelled again, then he walked out.

Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks then, the whole landscape outside blurred, an undistinguished mix of whites and greens. I gripped the sink to avoid sobbing too loudly, even if everybody had heard the screaming match, no doubt about it. I felt something pulling my pants and I looked down to find a serious Morgan.

"Why are you crying Aunt Meredith?" she asked, concerned.

"I yelled to Uncle Derek and I'm sorry"

"Oh. You should tell him. Mommy says that if you say sorry everything is better."

"Your Mommy is right" I said, wiping away my tears, trying to hide my gesture

"A kiss makes all better, right?" she smiled innocently

"Yeah, it does" I said, lifting her up under her armpits and she leaned in to happily kiss my cheek before I put her down and she ran away. I spotted Kathleen at the door and I tried to smile to her.

"Morgan likes you" she said, smiling back.

"Apparently she does" I leaned to the counter, sadness still stuck on my face

"You ok, Meredith? My brother can be such an ass..."

"He's right, we should have talked about it. We're not great communicators, believe me"

"You did the right thing, we appreciated. Is there something I can do?"

"You have any idea where's your brother now? I'd like to apologize..."

"Probably he's hiding in the basement, just like when he was five and Mark stole his toys. He'll come around."

"Yeah" I wasn't so sure about it, maybe I had to drag him back upstairs

"Meredith, I'm so sorry I've asked..."

"It's fine. I'd like you all to know that I'm not the same person I was before. Especially Nancy"

"Oh, she likes you, believe me. She has a strange way to show that, but she does. I've seen how you two look in the eyes, is not something you find everyday, I'm glad that despite everything you're still together"

"We have so many big things we don't talk about, this is just the tip of the iceberg. But we're trying. Yelling. It's progress."

"Shrink opinion or sister opinion?" she smirked

"Sister. The shrink is already proud"

She giggled, then answered "You have a lifetime to talk, but it better be soon"

"I know. I'm trying, you know...It looks like I'm never enough"

"He can be so brainless sometimes. Go fix this, I'll show you the way"

I followed Kathleen down the stairs, then I stood at the doorframe with her. He was showing us his back only, but I could hear him sighing deeply. It broke my heart seeing him in such pain, so I walked closer and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, kissing the top of his head. He leaned into my touch, as I've done countless times with him.

"I'm sorry" I tried to say firmly but softly

"I'm sorry too" he stammered, tightly squeezing my hand over his chest

"You're right, I should have told you"

"You did the right thing. I'm sorry I yelled"

"It's our loss, Derek, it's ok" I rested my chin on the crown of his head, before he caressed my cheek and made eye contact gently shifting my face at his level. In his eyes a carousel of emotions was riding.

"I'm so sorry"

I lightly brushed my lips to his, but he was the one who deepened our kiss.

"Wanna go back upstairs?" I asked.

"Wait a little more. It's been years that I hid here and everything's the same"

"Kathleen told me I could find you here"

"Yeah, I used to hide here as a kid. I spent whole afternoons on this boxes after Dad died. It's almost as peaceful as the trailer, right?"

"Yeah"

We enjoyed the quiet basement a little more, before coming back to the Christmas mood upstairs, smiling again and holding hands.

AN: Meredith and Derek in my dreams already signed official papers, even if the post-it still hangs on, they just decided that it would be easier as long as they are building a house and they want to start a family, that's all.

Meredith had been accepted by the Shepherds, apparently. She had to tell them about the miscarriage, because it's her own way of healing. When she's able to tell things, she heals. It's proof that she trusts the Shepherds telling them this dark moment of life.

If my story started right after the shooting, they wouldn't need holidays to meet, because the whole family would have hopped on a plane and flew across the country to see Derek, but I didn't felt like writing such angst-y scenes.

I hope you liked it and thanks for reading my notes, they're boring, I know...