Three days between updates are a fair deal, right?

This Meredith-centered chapter is named after Glass of Water, by Coldplay, a personal revelation in their album 'Prospekt's March'. I almost liked it better than Viva la Vida (no, not really, but it's a good album anyway). Sorry for another crippled menu title, I should choose my songs better!

We keep hopping around and skipping weeks, I hope you won't mind...Enjoy and review, as always!

Part 13 – Nothing Could Be Better And Nothing Ever Was

What a frightening thing is the human,

a mass of gages, and dials, and registers,

but we can read only a few

and those perhaps not accurately.

John Steinbeck

Morning sickness had been kicking around for a while, but I already knew that the torching sensation I had in my stomach was anything but that. I've never wanted to be that giggling mommy who seems excited at about everything her kid does, even poop, but there I was, waiting – pacing at the door, actually – to have my first ultrasound. I blamed the hormones for just being too eager to hear the heartbeat. We'll be able to see our Peanut for the first time. I liked how Derek nicknamed the fetus.

I sat on a chair in the waiting room, still wearing my scrub, glad that the unnoticeable bump was still completely hidden behind it. Lifting up my shirt, I could see my belly curling already, a little bit plumper, just a hint of what would be in a few months. It seemed impossible that there was another heartbeat hidden there. Our child.

Where the hell was Derek anyway? He was supposed to be there at his kid's first appearance. I asked a nurse outside to page him or at least if she knew where he was, but she told me he was pulled in an emergency craniotomy. I mentally cursed. He was supposed to be there! I wasn't freaking out, yet, but I was getting quickly to that point. I tried to calm down, knowing that it wasn't going to bring any good neither for me nor the baby.

"Dr. Grey?"

A nurse called me into the room and a middle-aged woman greeted me with a smile. She looked so comforting and steady, while I almost stumbled, sitting on the bed. Amanda Riley, said her ID.

"You work here" It was a statement, not just a question, coming with a polite smile. Everybody knows who am I at Seattle Grace-Mercy West, especially after the shooting. I simply nodded, disguising my uneasiness with a tiny smile.

"I love first ultrasounds!" she said, reading through my chart, maybe more to herself than to me. "Let's get started!"

"Wait" I stammered

"Right, sorry. You want to wait for the father?" her eyes immediately looked for Derek, she obviously expected him to be there. He should have been here already, dammit!

"Never mind. Emergency surgery, he works here too" I tried to push aside my fury and focus on what was going to happen next.

"Shepherd, the Neuro guy, right?" she was just trying to chat and put me at ease, but I couldn't let the conversation go there: it wasn't common for patients to have people in the hospital drooling over their loved ones.

"Yeah, he's my husband" It still felt weird to say it out loud after all we've been through, but it seemed necessary to be told. She simply grinned, as to remind me she already knew, then she put that cold gel on my skin.

My lips flashed a smile as soon as I heard a stable heartbeat and, despite all my efforts and Cristina's voice in the back of my head, I felt all mushy inside. Completely and utterly melting, just like when Derek gazed at me.

Realizing he wasn't there resettled my face, which turned back to shape a huge grin as soon as the monitor was turned toward me and I saw a small, peanut-like shape, curled in a ball and I knew it was the most overwhelming sensation of my life. I felt tears piling up at the corner of my eyes, the doctor's voice just fading and distant as she said everything was all right, or perfect? I didn't heard quite much. All I knew was that it was perfect for me and now I couldn't lose all of it again. I shivered just at the thought, but maybe my body processed it too, because Dr. Riley suddenly asked me "Is it too cold in here?"

"No, it's fine. It's just..." I waited a second to sum up my thoughts, unable to utter a vaguely coherent sentence "How likely am I to miscarry at this point?"

"What do you mean?" she was puzzled. Not the kind of question she heard at every first ultrasound for sure.

"I've...It already happened a few months ago" I can even tell you the exact day, if you want to "and I wanna be sure it doesn't happen again" I tried to keep my voice clear, but it was practically a whisper

"Chances are pretty low, but you have to be careful not to push yourself too much. You're a doctor and I know you think you can go without sleep for endless hours, but your baby disagrees. Strongly."

"I know. And foods, and fluids...I'm a surgeon. I know that."

"Good. There won't be many chances of miscarriage, then"

I think I sighed too loudly in relief, because she smiled at me, going back to scribble some notes on my chart.

"Could you put the imagine up again?" I asked, sounding stupid even to myself

"It's a pretty good picture, uh?"

"Yeah"

The room filled again with the thumping heartbeat, while the Peanut floated quietly in its liquid universe. Someone opened – almost slammed – the door and rushed in, before freezing after a few steps, still holding the door open.

"Derek" I whispered, the grin on my face doubling, as I saw he made it almost on time. He still had his scrub cap on, but when I said his name he closed the door and took it off, walking closer after the few seconds of amazement, still short of breath. He passed a hand through hiss messy locks, trying to process the scene in front of him. His eyes were already filled with sparkles and emotion when he sat next to me, holding my hand and squeezing it gently.

"Is that our Peanut?" he asked, sounding dazzled. I just nodded, unable to say anything more and break that perfect rhythm that was our kid's heartbeat, a wide smile plastered on my tearing face. He kissed my forehead, before sitting again to stare again at the monitor. I did back and forth from his face to our child, unable to fix on one of them and when Dr. Riley just froze the image and turned off the heartbeat, I still could hear it in my hear, in my head, in my whole body. Derek cleaned up the gel, then leaned forward to kiss gently my belly, then his gaze met mine, joy spilling out of his eyes as pooling tears.

"I'm sorry I was late"

"It's fine" I saw a blurred figure walk out, and I guessed it was Dr. Riley, because the room felt so filled with us that it was almost painful.

"Derek..." I whispered, or babbled, I think we both didn't recognized the difference. He widened his smile more than possible, brushing urgently his lips to mine. "It's gonna be ok" I added, when our lips had just parted and he was only a few inches away.

"I know"

"We can tell people Peanut's here" I grinned, almost hysterically happy. I was really becoming all mushy and over-sentimental, Cristina was right. But it felt all but wrong in that moment.

"Can we?"

I nodded and he kissed me again, deeper this time

"Cristina knows already" I thought it was fair to point that out

"I know. Hunt greeted me, he said he overheard you two talking"

"Oh..."

"I know you would have told her, I don't mind, really"

"She was there when I found out"

"Good, at least you weren't freaking out all alone" he teased, smirking.

"You freaked out too"

"We'll freak out even more when I'll tell my mother. The least she would do is to fly here to curl us in the tightest hug we could imagine and then fly away"

"Now I'm freaking out!" I teased him too, maybe a little thrilled about Mrs. Shepherd's visit though. Then I remembered some awkward moments back in New York and I realized that maybe she wouldn't be so happy to fly to Seattle.

"She still doesn't completely like me. Mothers end up hating Meredith Grey at some point" maybe it was shot at my own mother too. I stroked my belly gently and Derek noticed the gesture immediately.

"My mom loves you and our kid will do the same. That ring" said, showing me my left hand, where his ring shone brightly in its simplicity "was hers. She told me it was 'for the right girl' after she met you.".

I felt even worse after that, because I refused to wear the ring until after the shooting, when I needed to remind somehow that he was still around. He put our intertwined hands over my unnoticeable bump, then smiled and my face lightened up again. "You're gonna be an awesome mother, Meredith" he said, as I rubbed my skin with my thumb.

"You said that a thousand times"

"You need reminding" he smirked again, grabbing my lips with his again.

"You wanna know if our Peanut is a boy or a girl?" I asked. I knew it was early, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts I processed in the waiting room.

"I really don't mind, do you?"

"I already know" I smirked and he cocked his head, frowning.

"It's too early to catch that on the ultrasound we've been staring for the past hour, right? Or all my medical skills just got fucked up..." he chuckled

"It's too early, breathe"

"And how do you know? DNA?" teased

"Does it floats in my belly or what?"

"That's a good point" he grinned "You wanna let me know or should I start the betting? Nurses will love it!" he faked his leave with a smirk

"You wanna know?"

"I think I like betting better. Maybe next time I'll look more carefully to find out myself" we both laughed, then I gave him a quick kiss.

I caressed his cheek with my thumb and he leaned to my hand, just as he does when he's about to doze off in bed.

"Are you tired? You were on-call last night"

"So were you" he would never admit he's weak

"I've napped in the waiting room, you were fishing in someone's brain in that moment" I smirked, closing the distance between us with another kiss.

"Wanna go home?"

"Definitely"

He kissed my forehead, before we walked out, holding each other's hands and grinning happier than none of us had ever had. It felt so weird all that smiling, but still, Peanut's heartbeat filled the silence every single time now. Peanut's really coming.

AN: I hope you enjoyed it and I also hope to update almost twice a week, from now on, but I can't guarantee anything. Busy times, I'm sorry.

That was a fluffy, short chapter, I know, I'm not really keeping track of things lately. Stay tuned!