Okay, this chapter is set six months after the previous one. I just needed to go on a little bit from there, this time is from Meredith's PoV.

I hope it will be nice enough because I just edited it quickly and I usually ponder a little bit more on every chapter, anyway, I hope you'll like it. If not, just say it.

No need to explain the title this time, uh?

Part 22 – Saturday Night Fever

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They came through you but not from you

and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

Kahlil Gibran

Being back to work now was an habit. Leaving Alice for the first time to the hospital daycare was hard and heartbreaking, more for me than for her, because she didn't flinched or cried, she just pouted as she left my arms, still dazzled by the fact that I was wearing my scrub and she was still trying to get an hold to the fabric and discover how it tasted like. I took three more weeks off than my maternity leave, beginning to work on and off when Alice was almost three months old. More than I've ever thought. Now I was trailing back, but I had an happy daughter.

Derek was happy to know that Alice was still with me most of the time and not in some sort of daycare all day, until I couldn't bear our beautiful house in the woods anymore and I had to get back full time, so I decided to go ahead and leave her to daycare. One month had gone by and I had never been paged for her, I've always been the one to ride upstairs and cuddle her in my arms between one surgery and the other. It was good, balanced. Breastfeeding wasn't necessary anymore and we were trying solids, but I still went there anyway, somehow missing a little her small presence in my arms. If it wouldn't have been for the surgery high I might as well dumped everything and stayed home with her all the time. She was such a fascinating little girl.

She was strangely grumpy this morning, but she didn't put up crying tantrums, just frowned at her breakfast and latched avidly to my breast instead. I ran my hands through her dark, curly locks, trying to soothe her, rubbing her back in circles while she was still whimpering, upset by the teething. She was getting bigger everyday more. Her creamy skin apparently clashed with her black, all Derek's wild curls and the perfect copy of my green eyes. Hers were bluer, or grayer, it depended on the weather, rosy full lips and chubby cheeks completed her perfection. Almost too beautiful to be real.

She giggled at me as she lifted up from my breast, finally back to her happy self. I ruffled her hair, then I kissed her forehead her nice smell of lavender, woods and baby powder immediately filling my nostrils at our closeness. She grabbed my face as much as she could with her tiny, chubby hands, holding tight. It was going to be tough to let her go to daycare.

"Let's go Peanut" I smiled, but she pouted instead. I balanced her on my hip, then she started crying again, while I closed the door behind my back quickly as it was already late. I buckled her in the car seat and she was still crying desperately, every passing moment just screaming at me to stop and keep her close to my chest a little while longer. Except I was already late.

"I know it's early and I know I'm on call, but Daddy is so happy to stay with you tonight" as she head Daddy, sobs slowed down.

The adoration for each other grew bigger every day. The way they laughed together or how they snuggled on the couch before bath made me almost jealous sometimes, at least until Derek invited me to join their games. He had been perfect. Every single day. Not a fight in the six months since her birth, yet.

Tears started sliding down Alice's cheek again, then she closed her eyes and she fell back to sleep, lulled by the car as soon as I placed her favorite stuffed frog next to her, her thumb firmly in her mouth.

I balanced my bag and her weight perfectly through the parking lot when we arrived at the hospital, but she woke up as we walked in. Her eyes were still full of tears and sleepy, but she was quiet now, her head leaning on my shoulder limply. I unwillingly left her into Samantha Turner's arms, her beloved daycare teacher, before rushing to the locker room.

"Hey Mer!" Cristina was already in scrubs.

"Late, I'm late. So late!" I groaned grabbing my scrubs and trying to dress up as fast as I could

"You have ten minutes, you're plenty on time"

"Yeah? I lost track of time" I sighed. Grumpy Alice didn't make a good start of the day, ever.

"Take a breath. Are you okay?" frowned Cristina, scrutinizing my figure that was hopping in the resident's lounge to get into those damn scrub pants.

"Yeah. Alice was a little grumpy this morning and it breaks my heart lo leave her there all alone, you know." I was finally dressed, picking up the stethoscope and the pager and hanging them in their places

"The Mommy's creeping in again, do I have to be scared?" she teased, putting a pen into the pocket in her coat.

"Have you had coffee already?" I asked, a sliver of hope still there

"Yeah" she frowned

"Crap. I thought I could drink some of yours" I sighed, no coffee for Mommy!

"You hadn't coffee Mer?" her eyes widened

"Nope. As I stop I'm gonna switch off, believe me. And it's only seven!" I just wanted to sit down and sleep, already.

"Stalk Shepherd. I've seen him wandering with a cup before rounds. I think he just came in."

"Yeah, he left earlier. I told you, Alice was being difficult..." I trailed off, feeling the last bit of hope for coffee slipping away from my grasp. That was going to be a long day.

"She has the right to. I'd be difficult too if you wake me up at six without even coffee" Cristina joked

"She's still much more keen on milk" I giggled

"Weren't you trying solids?"

"Trying. Not going from boob to hamburger. Where the hell did you studied medicine?" I mocked

"I didn't gave a crap about those babies stuff, I'm sorry." she scowled

We laughed together to rounds, then Cristina got caught in the ER and I had to scrub in with Bailey for a bowel resection. It was far more complicated than expected and I scrubbed out at lunch, still without any caffeine in my system.

In the cafeteria, when the cart was just a few feet away and the mirage of coffee almost reality, my pager rang: the daycare.

That was bad. They never paged. I left my tray on a table, grabbing the sandwich and chewing it on my way. As I arrived there, Alice was all tucked in Mrs. Turner's arms, her face flushed and a blanket scattered on her.

"What's wrong?" I asked frantically, finally taking a breath after running around the entire hospital to get there.

"Fever," she immediately recognized my panicked look, despite all my medical knowledge "It happens when they're teething" she added in comfort. She was a kind, middle-aged woman. Wonderful, actually, from the first moment we met. Alice loved her, and that was enough for me to love her as well.

"Hey Peanut" I scooped her in my arms and she moaned, trying to settle there the best she could. She was burning, poor little girl, and I left her there for some messed up bowel. "Let's get you home, all right?" Alice flushed into my chest, holding tightly to my neck.

"Keep the blanket, she'll be warmer" said Samantha, demonstrating once more how caring she was with her

"Thank you, I'll bring it back next time"

"Get well soon Alice" she said, stroking her teary cheek, before handing me her things, especially her precious stuffed green frog. I stood still out of the daycare door for a second, trying to figure out what to do next.

I had to tell Derek he didn't needed to pick her up because I was going home. I had to tell the Chief I needed the rest of the shift off. Yeah, Bailey too, because I couldn't perform the appendectomy that afternoon.

Alice growled in my arms, sniffing and leaning closer at every breath. Her heat was warming me up too, her body limply cradled in my arms. She looked so little and newborn again, quiet whimpers coming out before her tears.

"You'll be just fine, baby, I promise." I tried to reassure her, reassuring myself in the process as well.

I took the elevator and I met the Chief. Pretty good luck.

"Hey Meredith" he greeted.

"Chief, I need the day off. The daycare paged me and Alice's got fever. I can't keep her here, so I need to go home" I cut him off a little rudely. He carefully looked under the blanket in my arms, Alice's flushed face peeking out.

"No problem. Tell Bailey she needs to find someone to cover for you" he simply nodded. He had a soft spot for Alice, like everybody else in the building

"Thank you. I'll work a double shift when she'll feel better" I lost so many hours to stay with her I was glad I still had a job in the first place

"It's fine Meredith, just get her home"

The elevator stopped at the fourth floor and I waited for Derek at the nurses' station where I paged him. He tilted his head as he saw me, a doubtful look on his face.

"You paged me?" he frowned

"Alice has a fever" he looked at the bundle over my shoulder, recognizing her sick face. He stretched a sympathetic, comforting smile.

"Hey Peanut" he leaned closer, kissing her cheek. She hid into her shoulders, engraving into mine as well, moaning loudly, almost in tears, trying to avoid Derek.

"I'm going home. I have to find Bailey to tell her to take over for my appendectomy, then we'll go" I sighed, still not knowing how I was going to handle it

"I'll tell her, just get her home. Are you sure you're ok with it? I can go home as well," he began

"I'd like better you coming home earlier so it will be the two of us instead you the whole evening alone" then, I couldn't leave my sick daughter alone for some cool surgery.

"Just call me if you need anything, all right?"

I nodded, kissing quickly his lips. He brushed Alice's head and she curled again into herself and onto my chest, groaning.

"It's Daddy, Peanut. Say goodbye to Daddy, he will be back home soon tonight, you remember?" Her eyes lifted up from my shoulder to Derek's face and she managed to hold out her hand to him, weakly. He grabbed her under her armpits, careful not to tear away the blanket, then leaned her against his chest, kissing her forehead and rubbing her back soothingly.

"I'll go find Bailey as you are with her, okay?" he nodded, drawing Alice closer to him and she fell limply into his cradle.

I found Bailey not far from there, yelling to some incompetent intern. I explained and she just agreed, giving my appendectomy to Alex and my other surgery with her, far more interesting actually, to Cristina. Then, she wished well for Alice. It was the soft side of Miranda Bailey, the one she never showed and you'll never expect.

As I came back to Derek, Alice was sleeping in his arms, apparently soothed by his touch. Maybe it was better if he went home. She just moaned and cried and groaned with me.

"She's burning up, poor thing" he added, before giving her back to me. She shifted in my arms, but settled after a few moments, just a slight sigh of disappointment coming out of her lips.

"See you later Derek" I muttered, still not so convinced about my decision so far. He kissed me briefly, then managed a wide smile. He trusted me, apparently.

Alice slept the whole ride home, but she woke up as we came home, crying loudly. I was glad she didn't do that at the hospital. Smart kid.

I sat on the couch, holding her tightly to my chest, as I took her temperature. I needed to give her something to get it down, but she was refusing to swallow anything except her own big tears; she tried to set herself free from the blanket a dozen of times, before shivering in my arms; she doze off a couple of times, but she woke up after a few minutes in tears again. And I felt helpless. Not a freaking clue on what to do next.

A bath. Bailey told me something about a warm bath.

She groaned all the way upstairs, whining as her cheeks were still flushed from the fever. I warmed the water in the bathtub, peeling off all her clothes until she had just her diaper on. I wrapped her in the towel until the water was warm enough, then I put Alice's naked and feverish body into the warm water, filled with bubbles and all her favorite toys. No results. She cried even louder instead, her whole body trembling.

As I leaned her back against my chest, her sobs quieted. She wanted to be next to me. She needed me.

I took off my clothes too, climbing in the bathtub with her tightly clasped to my chest. Her breathing was calming down, her whole body immersed in that soothing bubble bath, her head resting comfortably first on my shoulder, then sliding down on my breast bone where I could feel her burning cheeks relaxing. At some point she fell asleep and I lost track of time, rubbing circles on her perfect back and running down her spine, counting the vertebrae.

I know it was late when I heard the door creeping open and I saw the sun preparing to set. I might have fell asleep as well. Derek was home.

"Mer?" he yelled from downstairs.

"Bathroom" I shouted back. Alice opened her eyes and I mentally cursed myself the moment after. I rubbed her back and she looked at me deeply for some more comfort. She looked a little bit better, despite she was still a little warm, her eyes still glassy. She ran her tiny, exploring hand on my chest and then, realizing where she was, she rolled over to latch to my breast. I sat a little higher, spooning her into my arms and still stroking her back. She began nursing comfortably, her hand still loosely wandering over my bare chest when I heard muffled steps outside the door.

"Hey" Derek greeted softly and Alice's attention drifted to him for a second, before turning back to her dinner. Derek walked closer and kissed the top of my head, then brushed Alice's damp hair. She didn't pushed him away as before, but she grunted: she never liked to be disturbed while eating.

"So, how's my Peanut?" he asked, trying to be all smiley and not even a little concerned.

"Better. I think the fever is getting down but I don't think the teething is going to stop anytime soon, though. We just sat here the whole afternoon"

"The water is still hot?" he smiled at the mere idea of the two of us hanging out in the bathtub. I had to agree with Cristina that it was pretty comfortable once you get used to the thing.

"I refilled the tub, don't worry"

"Do you want me to take her?"

"She had been there all day, I don't mind her" I smiled, because it had been actually what I needed that day from early that morning, being close to her.

The previous freaking out was gone, washed away by that warm water.

Derek sat beside us on the bathroom floor, carefully watching Alice eating quietly, drawing in his mind every curve of my well-known body at the same time. I smiled to him, still rubbing Alice's back, until her lips weren't sucking anymore and she was back to sleep. As soon as Derek realized it too, he wrapped her to his chest in a towel, leaning his back against the cold bathtub. I kissed the top of her head, grabbing a towel as well.

I walked to my room to pick some clean underwear and sweatpants. I took a clean diaper for Alice and her onesie too, hurrying back in the bathroom. I helped him dressing her and she didn't move an inch. Maybe her usual long night sleep would take away the rest of the fever. The thermometer showed a much lower temperature than this afternoon.

"That's good Peanut" Derek whispered in her ear. I know he felt bad the whole day for being at the hospital and not with his sick daughter. I knew him.

"It's okay if you were at work" I said, before he could start any conversation

"I know" he replied, not meaning a single word.

"No, you don't" I smiled, watching him carefully dress Alice

"She needed you, I get it"

"Derek, you'll have the chance to stay with her when she's happy and healthy. It wasn't pleasant to witness." I sighed, knowing that this was inevitably going to happen again.

"I should have been there" he slightly pouted

"Next time. She'll get sick some other time, right? You can take her home" I snapped. There was nothing charming in your sick daughter, or something to have fond memory of.

"Are you mad at me?" he frowned, looking at me with something strange in his eyes, like he was the mad one. In that moment, if it wasn't for Alice, I would have hit him. Alice moved her arm to Derek's chest, clinging to his t-shirt, so I didn't answered, throwing my clothes in the basket for the next stack of laundry.

"Meredith" he kept looking, that something still there. And I was tired and I missed him and I had been on edge the whole afternoon.

"Do you think I enjoyed it? Being at home with a six-months-three-weeks-old child? Do you think it was fascinating and bonding and whatever crap you would say about it?" Damn, I said crap. We were arguing for the first time Alice was born. Both worn out and scared, we were hissing at each other in low voices, to keep Alice asleep. Actually, I was hissing, but... "It wasn't good to hear her struggle for every breath and moan and groan at each move I made to shift her. It wasn't easy to see her unable to swallow anything to get the fever down because she was burning so much she couldn't even sit straight. She can sit very well, Derek!" I vent out, feeling somehow better. He was the only one there and he got the yelling.

He grabbed my hand and before I realized it, I was sitting cross-legged next to him. He had his free hand wrapped around my wrist and my look was blurred with tears. I gave up to his touch, leaning my head on his shoulder, just like Alice.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled, kissing my forehead tenderly, his lips barely touching my skin in his usual perfect way

"I'm sorry too." I admitted, but he said nothing. We waited silently for something to happen, sitting on the bathroom floor. I stroked Alice's skin and it was almost back to her regular temperature.

"I was scared" I splat out then, feeling the tears in my eyes

"Why?"

"I...Maybe..." I stammered "What if I wasn't able to soothe her? What if I couldn't be her mother when she needed me the most? What if I was slowly becoming like my mother?" I rambled

"All of that never happened"

"But what if it did happened?" I looked at him with desperation

"You're nothing like your mother, Meredith" There. Perfect words, perfect sentence, perfect man. My man. My Derek. My McDreamy.

I slightly smiled, tracing the length of his arms with my finger, touching Alice's feet and going up to her cheek. Our daughter. Almost seven months of bliss. Our little family, scattered on the bathroom floor.

I smiled, leaning more into Derek, still carefully staring at Alice, waiting for something to make us stand up. Waiting, because I wasn't scared anymore.

When the next morning arrived, it was almost too soon to go back to work, but I had to. It was weird not seeing Alice for so long when the day before she just laid on my chest the whole time. It felt kind of empty as Derek took the day off to stay with her.

She was doing so much better now, even if the teething had just started and she was already grumpy all day long. When I woke her up, she was as groggy as the morning before, but her forehead wasn't burning anymore. Still a little cranky, she chewed avidly at my breast, instead of her bottle.

She was finishing breakfast when Derek walked in with a pacifier.

"Good morning" he cheered. He was always happy to spend and entire day with Alice, even if she was still a little sick and teething.

"Hey." I smiled, his mere presence brightening the day "I'm trying to let her sleep some more. She had been up most of the night" I admitted

"You should have woken me" he sighed

"It's fine, I slept here" I motioned to the nursery. The armchair there was really comfortable as the seller told us.

She was still nursing at my breast, even if her eyes were closed, lost in her own little world between satisfaction and sleep.

"I was thinking that maybe a pacifier will calm her gums a little, she's chewing on you" he came closer with a smirk on his face, running a hand through Alice's tiny curls. Her hair looked just like his. I giggled as well.

"Believe me, I can feel that, but I think she found something more entertaining during the night" I said, holding her up to burp her. Derek took her from my arms and she immediately leaned to his shoulder, popping quickly her thumb into her mouth, still sleepy. I smiled widely.

"She finally showed it off, then" he chuckled, tickling her belly. She usually would have laughed, instead she moaned something and held out her hand to me. Derek immediately tried to soothe her, feeling guilty for making her uncomfortable.

"Sure you can handle her?" I asked

"Yeah, go healing, we're gonna be fine"

"Even if she asks for boob?" I teased him. He knew I trusted him

"Then I'll call you" he smirked

"Do you think I'm spoiling her?" I finally voiced the worry that was buzzing in my head for a while

"Why?"

"Well, normally kids stop having milk when they're on solids"

"Nancy fed her kids till the year mark. I'm more than okay with that..."

"A year?" my eyes widened

"Yeah, she read something about it in a journal"

"It's such a beautiful feeling, you know..." he grinned at me, then I leaned closer to brush his lips and give Alice a soft kiss on her forehead. She fussed, because she realized I was leaving.

"Daddy is gonna stay with you all day. Are you excited?" her eyes widened, then she stuffed back her hand in her mouth. Poor thing.

"I'll be home after lunch today, okay?" Derek smiled, then sat on the rocking chair with her as I left.

At the hospital, the day seemed to be slow. Not that I wanted any rush after an almost sleepless night with Alice, but it seemed even more pointless being here rather than home. I had time to sleep for a couple of hours in an on-call room before my shift was over and I felt so much better.

I brought home my lunch, buying it on the way and making a stop at the grocery store for some missing stuff too. As I came back, everything sounded too quiet. Alice wasn't crying, so, considering the hour, she should have been asleep. I thought I'd found Derek in the living room or glued to his laptop, catching up with work, but he wasn't there, neither in Alice's room, which I found strangely empty. Our bedroom's door was open and, as I walked in, I found Derek spread right in the middle of the blanket. Alice was on top of his chest, asleep, her thumb tightly held in her mouth and the other hand gripping on Derek's t-shirt. He was holding her with his arm even if he was sleeping soundly. He even put some pillows to not let her fall off.

I smiled, lingering a bit against the doorframe, very much like Derek usually does, enjoying the view: Alice's drool was on his t-shirt, but Derek seemed to not mind it, while she was sucking noisily. They've never been so beautiful.

I just stood there until Alice's eyes fluttered open and she rolled down, starting to cry. Derek woke too, at first a bit dazzled to realize he fell asleep with her.

"Hey" he sheepishly greeted me as soon as he noticed me at the door, drawing Alice closer to his chest to calm her. I smiled back. She immediately stopped whining, to held out her arms to me. I came closer and I picked her up, kissing her first, then leaning down to kiss Derek.

"Slept well?" I asked maybe to both of them

"I didn't want to" he said in a perfect guilty five-year-old voice

"It was the cutest thing. I should have snapped a picture, it was worth it" I giggled. He sat straight on the bed and I sat next to him, letting Alice roll from my lap to his.

"Is that drool?" he said, analyzing his t-shirt closely, frowning at the blotch on his chest

"Teething" I smirked

"Jeez little Peanut" he kissed her cheek, then Alice took my finger in her little hand and replaced her thumb previously in her mouth with it. I felt something biting my skin.

"It's there!" I blurted, happily, a wide grin appearing on my lips.

"What?" Derek asked, still a bit asleep

"The first tooth. It's there. We have a teethed Peanut" I laughed. She giggled with us, then let Derek tickle her belly, bursting in laughter as the ordeal of the last two days was already forgotten.

AN: Alice is a little bit grown and she amuses us. Here we have a little bit of Meredith's old mommy issues, but I think it couldn't have gone better. What do you think?

Those were two chapters that I mashed together last minute, I was a little bit unsure, but I think it was better a long chapter than two shorter ones. The second part was supposed to begin the following morning, when Meredith works and Derek stays home. Was it well mixed?

Thanks for reading!