Nick had heard a lot about heartbreak. He thought had seen it, he had heard about it, he had read about it, but what he was feeling was nothing like it. Usually, it was just sadness for a few days before strongly telling yourself to move on. After all there are other fishes in the sea, right?

Nick didn't want to move on. He didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to let Jeff go. He didn't want other fishes, he just wanted Jeff. They had been best friends before they began dating which made it harder for Nick to try and let go. But since he didn't want to, Nick assumed it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

Life without Jeff was plain and boring. Why? Because he couldn't do anything without being reminded of Jeff. When he opened his laptop, the desktop picture was of them. That ruled out going on the computer. He'd watched all of his movies with Jeff and he had played all of his video games with him as well.

He had tried to send him a text a few times, but he always backed out. He had tried the I-still-love-you-I'm-sorry texts, I-fucking-hate-you-you-piece-of-shit texts, I-miss-you texts, you name it. But he always erased them, feeling worse than before.

His heart ached, his head hurt, he was tired and he simply just felt like giving up. He felt thirteen again. He felt hopeless, vulnerable and just so fucking sick of it. He had once thought about just killing himself. At least, he wouldn't feel like this anymore. But then he remembered how glad he was for his unsuccessful attempt previously, which made him shake his head, scold himself and back out.

He barely ate. He was so tired, but he didn't sleep, because when he did, he dreamed about Jeff. He didn't get up. He didn't want to see anyone, talk to anyone or hear anyone. He just wanted to be left alone.

On Saturday evening, Nick's phone wouldn't shut up. In fact, it didn't shut up still, even though it was a Sunday afternoon. Nick assumed Jeff had let it slip that they broke up, so now all of the Warblers were informed about this. Nick currently had 33 missed phonecalls and 67 unread text messages. He had checked on some of them, though.

What the actual fuck. Call me – Randy

Pick up your phone Nick! – Nate

This is a joke, right? – Ter

Nick, your phone, answer it – Nate

Call me anytime you need to talk – B

I'm not going away – Nate

What the hell just happened? – Thad

ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE – Nate

Nick had caved in and talked to Nate at 2:37 AM on Sunday morning, since the guy was not giving up. The plan Nick had in mind was to tell him just enough to have him satisfied and continue moping. Instead, he poured his heart out to Nathan, telling him how much it hurt and how much he still loved Jeff, and how he wanted him back. Nathan at first sounded mad, like he was ready to slash Jeff's tires, but after hearing Nick out, he decided to come over.

Nick had to actually get out of bed, which was something he didn't do unless he had to really, really, really pee, and tip-toe around the room, as careful as he could to not wake up his parents. They didn't know Jeff had broken up with him, but they feared he had become suicidal again. Sharp knifes mysteriously vanished from the house and scissors were hard to find.

When Nathan had arrived, they went to Nick's room. Nathan just sat there and listened to Nick and lent him a shoulder to cry on. Nick really needed it at the moment, but when the morning came and Nathan was gone, he was still head-over-heels in love with Jeff and his heart still ached.

Jeff had driven home after breaking up with Nick, only stopping in the same parking lot he'd previously stopped in, simply because he couldn't drive because he was sobbing too hard. He had to stop and calm himself down, and then he had to look okay before returning to his home, so he had to wait for an hour before being able to leave the parking lot.

When he returned to his house, the smug look on his mother's face made him feel like throwing up. She told him she was glad he made the right choice and told him since he had come to his senses so quickly, she wouldn't send him to camp, that is if he improved over the next couple of weeks.

Improved.

The word felt so wrong. He felt wrong. It all felt wrong. But the thing that mostly stood out was breaking up with Nick. He regretted it so much, but he knew what was done was done. Nick wouldn't take him back. He had ruined his chance with the most perfect person he knew.

His brother ran to him when he saw him return, but left Jeff alone when he asked him to.

The next day, he accidently let it slip to Robert that he had broken up with Nick. An hour later, his phone blew up and didn't quite down, not even the next day.

Bro what happened – Frank

You better have a good reason – Nate

I can't believe this. What. The. Fuuuuck – James

Either you answer your phone or I'm coming over – Flint

Dude, r u ok? – C.

Call me anytime if you need, k? – Dav

I know it's none of my business, but this came out of the blue. What happened? – Wes

That's it, I'm coming over with a chick flick and Chinese food and u can't stop me – Flint

Flint, staying true to his words, came over. Despite his mother sending him a glare for holding a copy of Legally Blonde, which thankfully Flint picked up on and told her it was just the cover and inside it was 300, Flint got to stay.

"So, dude, what happened?" Flint asked, using chopsticks to eat his noodles, which was something he had mastered a long time ago.

"I got into a big fight with my parents, which caused me to think some things over, which eventually lead me to breaking up with Nick." Jeff replied. Every time he mentioned Nick's name, his stomach did a little flip, and not in a good way. He felt guilt, piercing guilt in his stomach each time he heard or said his name, because when he did, he saw the hurt in Nick's eyes right before he left.

"What'd they say?" Flint asked.

"I-I don't…" Jeff began weakly.

"Dude, what?" Flint insisted.

"I don't want to say because-because it's homophobic, alright? I-I don't want to cause anyone else pain, and y'know, you're bi and all…"

"I won't get mad, I promise." Flint said. Jeff sent him an unsure look. "Seriously."

"Do you… do you ever think that maybe being with the same gender is… is wrong?" Jeff asked, slightly scared of Flint's reaction. He knew he could have a nasty temper.

"Well, if it feels wrong, then you're not bi." Flint said, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion and looking at Jeff carefully.

"I'm not saying that it feels wrong, I'm just saying that despite it feeling so freaking right, it may actually be wrong."

"Oh, good, 'cause I was all like 'Dude, if it felt wrong then why the fuck did you date for so long. And then like, why did they fuck?'" Flint said. "Anyways, who cares if it's wrong?"

"I do. My parents do. My family does." Jeff counted.

"You so do not!" Flint argued. "You're only doing this because of your parents. You still love Nick and you're miserable. Also, you look like shit." Which was true. Jeff had purple bags under his eyes, his hair was all fluffy and uncombed and his eyes were slightly bloodshot.

"No shit, I feel like shit." Jeff replied. "Maybe it was for the best. I mean, yeah, I still love Nick more than anything, but maybe we just weren't meant to be. Maybe it is wrong. Maybe I should just be a good son and date a girl like a normal boy would."

"Yeah, you could do that, or you could be happy." Flint pointed out. "You and Nick are so meant to be. It's like… you guys just, you just love each other so much, but it's like it's more than that, you know?"

"…No."

"Fuck you. Like…" Flint sighed. "Like, you guys are like best friends, lovers and soul-mates. If you're not meant to be, then I'm good with words."

Jeff's eyes got slightly watery and he tugged at his blonde locks. "Way to rub it in. Now that I've broken up with him, I can't get him back."

"So you're saying you want him back and you've realized it's not wrong?"

"N-No. I mean… I don't know whether it's right or wrong. All I know is how much I fucking miss him."

"Then call him and say you're sorry – oh that chick is hot!" Flint said, his eyes on the TV screen.

"Flint, I know the girl is pretty and all, but I must remind you you're dating a guy. I'm pretty sure you should say goodbye to boobs for some time. Oh, and I'm still miserable and confused, by the way. I can't just call him, you didn't see the look in his eyes. I broke his heart."

"Trust me, he'd be happy to get back together with you. Nate told me he misses you more than anything. Just call him, apologize, tell him you've realized that it's not wrong—"

"But I haven't completely. I mean, a part of me is still convinced it is."

"Then unconvince it! Seriously Jeff, why the hell do you care all of a sudden?"

"Gee, I don't know," Jeff said, annoyed and sarcastic. "Maybe you start to rethink things once your parents call you a disgusting attention whore and a faggot and threaten to kick you out unless you change because it's so wrong being true to who I am."

"They-" Flint choked. "They called you that?"

"Yeah, and doing so made me make the biggest mistake I've made so far and it's making me feel like utter and complete shit. I…" Jeff's eyes started to get slightly watery, so he hung his head, making his bangs cover his eyes. "I-I… I screwed up, Flint. I love him, I want him, I need him, I really do, but it just hurts so bad hearing that from your own mom. I mean, can you blame me for trying to be a good son?"

"It sounds like Nick loves you a whole lot more than your mother does." Flint commented. Jeff sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Could you leave? I kind of need to think this trough…" Jeff said weakly. Flint nodded, patted him on the shoulder and left. Jeff closed his eyes for a few moments before he heard his door open.

"Jeffy?" Melinda, his six years old sister, said. Jeff smiled at her, trying to put on a mask and look less upset to his sister. He didn't want to cause her any trouble. "Can I sit with you?"

"Yeah, just close the door." Jeff said and patted the space on the bed next to him. She crawled in his lap instead and hugged him around his middle tightly.

"I don't like seeing you sad, Jeffy." She said, making Jeff's heart ache even more than before. "Why are you so sad? Was it because mommy was yelling at you? Why was she yelling at you?" Jeff tried to blink back the tears that had started forming in his eyes, but was unsuccessful. They streamed down his cheeks, but thankfully, he wasn't sobbing, so she didn't notice.

"Mommy thinks I haven't been a good boy." Jeff replied.

"Did you do something bad?"

"Mommy thinks so. Now I've begun to think it as well."

"What did you do?" She mumbled innocently into his chest.

"You know how boys date girls and girls date boys?" Jeff asked. Oh god, he couldn't believe he was about to come out to his youngest sister. He also couldn't believe she hadn't said anything about his shaky voice. She nodded at him. "Well, mommy thinks that bad boys date other boys, just like bad girls date other girls, instead of a girl or a boy."

"But don't boys always love girls?"

"No. Sometimes boys love boys, sometimes boys love girls and sometimes boys love both girls and boys. Mommy doesn't like that. She thinks boys should only love girls. I love a boy."

"Is that why she said the other f-word?"

"Other f-word?"

"Yeah, Mikey said we couldn't say it because it was an ugly word and you weren't the other f-word. He said mommy's just being istorant."

"Ignorant." Jeff corrected. His smiled faintly at his little brother's tolerance. He had expected him to be the worst out of his family, since he was growing up and at this moment, being accepted in the group was important.

"But Jeffy?" His sister asked. Jeff made a small 'hmm' sound at her. "If you're in love, why are you so sad?"

"Because I had to break up with him to be a good boy for mommy." Jeff said.

"I don't think you should have done that." She said, trailing her forefinger along his wrist and up his hand. "Maybe he could be your prince and mommy is the evil step-mom. But don't kill her, okay? Just make her good again. Maybe mommy's just afraid you'll stop loving her. You know what? I could love mommy and you could love the boy. Then mommy will get enough love to be nice to you again and then you can love both her and your prince."

Jeff couldn't hold it in much longer. He let out a sob, making his little sister turn to face him. She just wrapped her arms around his neck.

"It's okay, Jeffy, don't cry. Fairytales always end well."

Nick lay in his bed, his covers pulled all the way over his head, trying to block out any source of light. His parents were becoming very afraid of his well-being and had tried to talk him 'out-of-it', telling him life is full of opportunities and how many people in this world loved and needed him. He would have told them he wasn't suicidal, but he didn't feel like talking to them.

He groaned when a bright light shone in his eyes. He closed them, searching blindly with his hand for the source of his annoyance and the return of his headache. He soon found it, his phone. He grabbed it and pulled it close to his face, ready to press "ignore". He squinted at the phone, trying to see who was calling him. Probably one of the Warblers again. His breath got caught in his throat and his heart skipped a beat when he saw the name.

Jeff

He didn't know what to do. He panicked. Should he answer or ignore? Then he panicked again. What if he didn't answer soon enough? Then he might miss the call and Jeff might not call him again. He pressed answer, pulled the phone up to his ear, holding his breath.

"Hey" Jeff said on the other line. He sounded miserable and raspy.

"Hi." Nick breathed. Things were silent for a few seconds.

"I, um… I probably shouldn't be calling you or whatever, but I just want you to know I'm sorry."

"I don't think sorry is going to do it, Jeff. You have no idea what you're putting me through."

Jeff laughed slightly. "I think I have an idea."

Nick took a deep breath. "Why did you call?"

"Because… because I feel like a jerk. And I, um, am still madly in love with you. It was a mistake breaking up with you, because life without you sucks. And I know, you taking me back is a long shot, but I've, um, I've kinda been thinking things over and maybe… it's not so wrong after all."

Nick had no idea what to feel. Jeff crushed his heart and here he was, telling him he wanted him back. The smart thing was probably to move on, but his heart screamed at him to take him back. He loved Jeff and he certainly didn't want to lose him.

"What made you change your mind?"

"My little sister saw nothing wrong with me loving another boy. So I guess people like my mom are wrong after all."

"Jeff…" Nick said. His chest felt tight at the words he was about to say. "I can't be with you if you're not sure whether or not you want to do this. I know you love me, and I love you too, but my heart is involved as well. This hurts so bad. As much as I want to be with you and make it all go away, I don't want this to happen to me again."

"I just…" Jeff's voice broke, making Nick's chest tighter. "I just want my mom to love me."

"A mother always loves her son. She's just scared because she doesn't understand." Nick said, hoping it would make Jeff stop crying. Nick couldn't do this if he began sobbing. It would be too much for him.

"It's just… If I chose to date you, I lose my mom. If I chose to obey my mom, I lose you. I-I can't, I can't pick. This is just too hard."

"I'm sorry, I really am, but it sounds like you have to."

Jeff was silent for a few minutes. Nick just stayed on the line, hoping he'd hear what he wanted to hear. Nick would be honestly surprised if Jeff would choose him. They loved each other a lot, but if Jeff would choose him, that meant he wouldn't have a roof over his head, his family would turn their backs on him and he wouldn't be able to see his siblings anymore.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Jeff finally said. Nick's heart did a flip and he smiled slightly, for the first time in few days.

"Are you sure?" Nick asked carefully.

"Yeah. I mean, I've got Dalton after all. And, y'know, I love you. Plus, you've never called me a faggot and looked at me like I was scum only for loving someone and being me."

"Hurry." Nick said. Jeff hung up and so did Nick, putting his phone next to his face. His heart felt less painful. It felt hopeful again.

Jeff grabbed a bag from his closet, stuffing all his favorite clothes he could take with him into the bag. He then knocked at his sister's doors. He said goodbye to Melinda and Emma and told them he'd see them again soon. He then went to his brother's room, hugged him and told him his XBox 360 belonged to him now. He also thanked him and went down the stairs.

His parents were in the living room, watching TV when Jeff walked downstairs. They turned around at the noise and were surprised to see him with a bag.

"Going to the gym?" His mother asked suspiciously.

"Nope." Jeff said enthusiastically. "Just going over to my boyfriend's."

"Jeff, I thought we were going to work on this. Why do you keep hurting me like this?"

"Mom, I love you, okay? But I've gotta go see my prince. I want a happy ending." He said and opened the door.

"If you walk out of here, I swear, I will only have one son."

"Do me a favor and don't spoil him. I just gave him my XBox." Jeff said, walking out the door.