Hey there, readers! I had a fair amount of updates this week, right? Don't get used to it though, the next one is already crazy on paper, so...

I needed to consult my Beta to decide the title for this new chapter, but I finally chose this song by Katie Herzig and Matthew Perryman Jones. I bet I already used it somewhere, but you know how limited my choices are sometimes...I hope you won't mind much.

Anyway, we are back with Derek's PoV, read and enjoy...

Part 27 – Where the Road Meets the Sun

Then a silence suffuses the story,
And a softness the teller's eye;
And the children no further question,
And only the waves reply.

Emily Dickinson

The following few weeks Meredith tried to guess our destination. I helped her pack, and she still didn't have a clue.

"Swimsuits? We don't have a swimsuit for Alice, Derek!" she reproached while she read over the list of what we had to pack, clearly freaking out. Somehow, it was even cuter than when she rambled endlessly, her pacing the bedroom with the list clutched in her hand like a lifeline. I grinned.

"I know. I just want to see you in a bikini again," I joked. The last time, at the lake, was pretty memorable.

"I'm serious. Do we need to get one?" she glared.

"It will probably be too cold anyway. It's September there too..." I kept my statement vague and she sighed loudly, clearly declaring how uncomfortable she was with the situation.

"Just tell me where we're going. I'm going nuts!" she pouted, throwing a bunch of t-shirts into a suitcase.

"That's why my mouth is sealed," I smirked.

"Don't complain when you can't find your favorite t-shirt or whatever then," she snapped.

"Fine," I let her vent on me, in the end I was the one keeping secrets, not her.

"Fine!"

I reached for her waist when she passed in front of me, and gave her a quick kiss. She was freaking out, just like she did every time there was some kind of surprise. She wasn't a surprise kind of girl, but she had held it off until we'd started packing. She seemed so okay with it before that I thought the fear of surprises was finally gone, but I was clearly wrong.

"It's gonna be okay," I said, running my hand over her back. Immediately, she relaxed, leaning into my chest.

"I know. I'm sorry, I'm really freaking out," she admitted.

"If you don't like the place we're going we can always come back."

"It's not that far then," a wide smile appeared on her face and she looked up mischievously, realizing she had just gotten another hint about the destination.

"We are going by car, and I hope Alice will sleep through it." I tried to keep my cards hidden but I needed to reveal some things at that point.

"A long trip by car...and swimsuits," she stopped for a moment, knitting her eyebrows together, deep in thought. Then she squealed, "Amy! We're going to visit Amy in Los Angeles!"

"Nope," I smirked, unable to keep the grin off my face as she processed and realized she still didn't know where we were going.

"We would have taken a plane, right?" she sighed, coming to terms with the same thoughts that were in my head. "So where? A lake in Canada? Don't even think about me bathing in a cold Canadian lake while you're all busy fishing!" she rambled. I laughed, hard, and she scowled. "Don't laugh at me Derek." she snapped, back into full freak out mood.

"Sorry. You freaking out is cute. I love your ramblings," I admitted, and her face softened, like I had finally touched the right spot to calm her down.

"All of this is killing me. You know that, right?" she sighed again, finally starting to accept it.

"I know," I grinned.

"We'll be leaving in an hour and I still don't know where we're going."

"Would you mind helping me put the suitcases in the trunk?" I said, changing the subject.

"Whatever," she said, shaking her head with a small smile.

Maybe we had made too much noise, because suddenly Alice's cries echoed through the baby monitor. "Saved by the cry," Meredith mocked, smirking, karma clearly on her side.

She went upstairs to get Alice, leaving me with an entire closet of stuff to put in a very tiny space. We were light packers, before Alice. Now, all of her things were everywhere. I was resorting to using every possible space to stick them in. I felt like I was playing Tetris.

When I was finished shoving everything in the trunk, I found the two of them on the couch: the little one with her bottle of milk, snuggling in Meredith's arms.

"If we go now maybe she'll go back to sleep in the car," Meredith suggested, so I picked up the last of the stuff and left the door open so that she could carry Alice, who was still in her pyjamas, out. Meredith sat in the back of the car, buckling Alice in, and mumbling something to her that sounded a lot like a lullaby, until her eyes were completely closed. Then she kissed Alice's forehead and leaned back in the seat, looking at me through the rearview mirror, smirking.

I smiled back, trying to keep an eye on the road and the other on the back seat. Alice was sleeping soundly, her head tilted to the side, towards Meredith. Her hands were still clutching the empty bottle of milk, even though it was with less strength than before. Meredith was simply staring at her in awe, brushing her curls in a soothing gesture.

"What?" she asked with a smile, noticing my gaze on them as soon as she looked up.

"Nothing. You were singing her a lullaby."

"No, I wasn't." She blushed, clearly embarrassed.

"You so were."

"No."

"Yes."

"Okay, you win. I sing lullabies because you tell her stories." She pouted, and my smile widened. I enjoyed the fact that a smile curled her lips once again when she shifted her gaze to Alice.

"It was..." I looked for the right word, but it seemed like nothing was good enough.

"Corny? Weird? Unbelievable?" She chuckled nervously, almost as if she was ashamed of humming lullabies.

"I loved it. I remember listening to my mother sing lullabies to Amy. I always sat next to her, before falling asleep as well." I added, telling her it was okay to sing, that she was doing great. But her gaze drifted away and I knew that I should have kept that last sentence to myself. She had been on edge all day because of the secret location of our vacation, and maybe I should have just enjoyed the two of them sharing a tender moment in the backseat without commenting.

"You were so focused on Alice that you didn't even bother to worry about where we're headed." I tried to change subject, hoping to bring back her smile.

"We're driving to Oregon, I think, or California, maybe Arizona; South somewhere," she mumbled, almost as if she was scanning a mental map of the closest famous locations. But if she looked for famous she was going to end up with nothing...

"I think I might tell you," I finally gave in. After all, there were only a few hours left before we were supposed to arrive.

"I got it, right? Oregon?" She finally smiled and nothing would have kept me from telling her just then, because she was happy.

"Nope, you got close. It's still in Washington, but I thought it could be fun..."

"You're taking us on vacation, Derek. On the beach!" she interrupted.

"You have all ready used that line and no, technically, it is not just a beach." I smirked.

"Please tell me it isn't a super fancy hotel with who knows what else." Her eyes widened in fear. She had never really liked big, fancy hotels and I couldn't blame her.

"It's a farm, with animals, and a private access to the beach from the apartment." I smiled, taking in her reaction. The huge smile meant that she really was okay with my idea.

"Oh my God," she was pleasantly overwhelmed. "How long have you been planning this?"

"A while. We had a rough summer and I wanted to surprise you," I admitted in a whisper.

"You did. It's going to be amazing. Alice will love it." She looked at me with an adoring gaze. It had been a while since I had seen one of those looks on her face and I regretted neglecting her even more, if just for a little while. Again, I promised myself that I would never do to her what I had done to Addison, because I couldn't do it anymore, especially not to her. Not after she gave me Alice.

"I know." I kept smiling, imagining Alice's reaction to the whole trip, our first official vacation as a family. I noticed Meredith's hand caressing Alice's forearm when she moved in her sleep, maybe caught up in a dream.

"We can take turns if you're tired of driving," she suggested after a few moments of peaceful quiet. Silence was rarely awkward with her.

"You're too comfortable back there," I smirked.

"I just love watching her sleep," she sighed, voicing what she would have often considered corny; deep down, she loved being corny.

"I know. It means she's not crawling around," I chuckled.

"I never thought I could be like this: married, singing my daughter to sleep while we're going to a farm for the weekend," she thought out loud. "It's..."

"Doesn't it feel good?" Immediately I noticed her hesitation, and popped the question accidentally.

"It feels awesome," she grinned, and it would have been a good enough answer for someone who didn't know her very well.

"But?"

"Nothing," she shook her head, looking out the window.

"You can tell me, we still have a good three hours to drive." I smiled encouragingly.

"It's something sad and I don't want to associate sadness with today. It is going to be a happy day, a happy weekend." She forced a smile.

"You can be sad for a while."

She paused for a second, glancing over at Alice to some point outside the window, suddenly very entertained.

"I think my mother would have been a great grandmother. The mother she never was. Or Susan, maybe..." she spoke, after a long span of silence.

"Meredith," I tried to comfort her.

"I told you," she sighed, starting to snap.

"It's okay. It's good to miss the people you loved."

"I have never loved her this much Derek, and she's gone. She'll never know. It will be the same between Alice I because at some point I'll screw things up, and she won't talk to me again and..." she started to ramble and I broke her off with a smile, before the tears forming in her eyes could fall.

"Stop right there. Did your mother sing you to sleep? Or suggest a place for you to go for a vacation? Hold you through a sleepless night, knowing that she had to work in the morning? Cook you dinner even though she didn't have a clue of how to do it? Sit with you on the floor and play with your toys even though she had to finish some paperwork she had brought home?" questions rolled out of my mouth like grains on a rosary.

She gazed out again, knowing that every answer to my questions would have been negative, and tears brimmed her eyes. I hated having to remind her how much her mother screwed up with her to show her what a beautiful mother she was.

"Alice will never turn her back on you, and if she does I'll drag her back anyway that I can." I tried to keep the tone light.

"Derek..." she sighed, hurt and fear dripping from every letter of my name.

"She loves you too. And your mother loved you."

"I failed her," her voice shook and she looked at the hands in her lap, fidgeting with her wedding ring. I was really happy when she had decided to wear a ring, except for when she fidgeted with it to avoid certain subjects.

"Your mother?" I know I looked puzzled, because she shook her head in response.

"Alice. She could have been a spoiled little sister, always protected by her brother, and..."

The tears she was no longer able to control spilled down her cheeks and I sighed. A sudden need to pull over and hug her washed over me.

"You didn't fail her. You couldn't help the miscarriage. Besides, it was mostly my fault, not yours. I'm the one to blame her future on."

It had been a long time since we'd brought up that topic. Since Alice was with us for good, knowing that she won't ever go, it was harder to think back on that awful day. But it happened. And talking about it still hit us hard. It was like throwing salt on an old wound that may never heal completely. Especially for her, because she hadn't had the proper time to grieve over our loss while she was busy tending to a sick me. The boiling anger that I was so good at bottling up resurfaced, because she never deserved this, she had been through so much in her life and she didn't need this too.

"I lost him," she sniffled.

"I got shot in front of you. I know the 'dying in your arms' feeling." Her face darkened and I instantly regretted my words. They had been meant to comfort, but it had sounded like I wanted to argue with her. "Sorry."

"You're right. You know it. I'm sorry too, I wish you didn't." She went silent, curling herself into a ball, shielding everyone out. Her teary eyes focused on Alice, who seemed a little more restless in her seat.

"She's going to wake up soon and I bet she'll start screaming," stated Meredith, avoiding a conversation that we had to have someday.

"I'll pull over then."

As expected, Alice's piercing cry filled the cab as soon as I stopped the car to stretch my legs. Meredith cradled the baby close to her chest, unbuckling her from the seat and holding her light weight in her arms. I wanted to sit in the backseat and hug both of them, hold her body close and let her cry everything out. Instead she sat in the car alone, while I took a walk, trying to clear my head.

When I got back Alice was still clinging to Meredith's chest. Her mouth was so close to her chest that it seemed as if she was still breastfeeding her, bringing back fond memories. Meredith was rubbing Alice's curls in circles, every day her hair looked more and more like mine. It was almost scary. She was just like Meredith in most other ways. Our baby was sleeping peacefully again and Meredith had stopped crying and, despite her bloodshot eyes, she looked okay.

When she saw that I was back, she buckled Alice again. Then she stood up and came to sit next to me at the front. Maybe she wanted to finish our conversation without disturbing Alice any further.

She brushed my forearm, staring at the road in front of her, and she remained quiet for a long hour, staring. She kept her hand on my forearm while I drove. It meant she wasn't running. She just needed some quiet. And I gave her quiet. I would have given her the moon if she just asked. At some point her eyes closed, but her hand never left my arm.

When I parked the car I noticed that she was still sleeping. Her face was peaceful and relaxed. Maybe her dreams weren't as bad as her last thoughts.

Finally, I saw the small cabin I had rented for three days and it was even better than what the website had shown. It was small, no more than four rooms, but very nice, with wooden walls and white-paned windows. Some late summer flowers were in pots over the windowsill and a swing was squealing back and forth under the porch.

I took the keys to the place and walked to the other side of the car to wake up Meredith. I brushed her golden hair, a shade lighter under the sun, but she didn't even stiffen. I kissed her forehead and she wiggled; her knee bumped the gear. Her eyes opened reluctantly and I knew how much she'd wanted to get some more sleep from the look she gave me as I smiled down at her. I kissed gently her lips, needing to tell her that I was going to be there no matter what, as much as her hand on my arm reassured me during the whole ride.

"Hey, we're here," I whispered when her eyes finally focused a little bit more, staring at me hovering over her.

"Already?" she mumbled her voice still full of sleep.

"I'll take Alice, then I'll go back for the bags while you explore. She's still sleeping."

"Good," she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Mer?"

"Yeah, I'm up," she smiled. Then she stumbled out of the car while I unbuckled Alice.

She didn't seem bothered at first, but when I carried her inside, she opened her eyes and yawned. She began crying as soon as she realized that she was someplace strange.

"Hey Peanut," Meredith whispered, coming over, and taking her out of the car seat.

"It's okay. We're in the beautiful house Daddy chose for us for the weekend. I think you should open your eyes and take a look at the sea, I'm sure you'll like it."

Alice calmed down when Meredith spoke, and yawned again. She started looking around and seemed fascinated by the new place, taking in all the new objects, sounds, and smells. We were far away from the city, just like when we were on our land, but the smell of wood and pine was suddenly replaced by the salty, windy new smell of the sea she seemed to like. The bright sun was also something she hadn't ever become fully accustomed to, mainly because she lives in Seattle, and she'd only been with us for one summer.

"Ma-ma," she babbled, her way of saying that she loved the place. She turned her amazed face towards Meredith.

"It's beautiful Derek," Meredith echoed. I saw her face and discovered that she was as fascinated as Alice. Her eyes were sparkling in the sun and her lips were curled up in an uncontrollable smile. She looked beautiful standing there in the sun with Alice in her arms, staring at the house in front of her and the ocean right behind. When she looked at me, her eyes seemed to scream 'thank you' and I couldn't help but grin back.

"Let's move inside," I suggested, and she followed patiently.

I turned the key in the lock and the door opened to reveal a well-lit kitchen with a wooden, rustic table and an old-fashioned cupboard, connected to a small living room with a comfortable, worn couch and a bookshelf that covered three whole walls. The other wall was just a huge window with a sliding door leading to a patio and, a few steps further, the warm sand and the ocean. A small staircase led upstairs to the attic where the two bedrooms were located, one in front of the other, both with a window on the ceiling and a delicate smell from some kind of flowers.

Meredith moved back downstairs, took off her shoes and went to the beach, carrying Alice with her. She had a large grin on her face as she walked to the ocean, and I just watched the two of them from our bedroom's window. It seemed like the weight of the world was suddenly lifted from her shoulders and I was glad I had decided to go somewhere that weekend.

I finally joined them on the beach. The perfect sound of the waves mixed with their giggles filled the air.

"There you are!" shrieked Meredith when I grabbed her waist with my arms. She wriggled away for a moment, and then she settled comfortably against my chest. Alice slapped me with her chubby, drool covered hands and I couldn't have been happier than I was in that single moment.

"Da-da," Alice babbled again, frowning when I kissed Meredith's neck, and we both laughed.

"Someone's jealous," teased Meredith, before I took Alice in my arms and kissed her cheek as well. She squealed in delight as Meredith tickled her belly. We began walking hand in hand, with Alice still cradled in my arms.

"It feels good here, Derek," Meredith stated simply.

"Yeah, like there's nothing else in the world."

"I wish there wasn't. Why don't we give up everything and move here?" she giggled.

"I'll think about that, but you're warned that the odds are for a positive answer," I chuckled.

"We've been here for what, two hours, and I already want to move here," she laughed.

"I'm gonna miss the house in the woods though."

"We can go on holiday there, then," I laughed with her and even Alice seemed amused, despite her being lost in her own world. She was enthralled by the different birds flying over our heads and she shrieked every time one of them danced around us.

"You like the birds?" Meredith asked and the answer was a sincere clapping of hands with a squeal.

"You know, I remember the last time we were on the seaside," I joked, memories of Los Angeles flowing back, despite the different setting.

"I think you're fond of the rest of the night, not strictly the seaside."

"The skinny-dipping was good," I kept flirting

"Derek!" she slapped my arm, eying Alice.

"Admit it, you loved it too," I smirked and she blushed in her adorable way. I had missed this too, when we weren't on good terms and we kept just ignoring each other. The flirting and the blushing always came together, especially when she tried to control both of them. And she was helplessly cute when she did that.

"We can revive the memory, you know," I added, whispering it softly in her ear, and she ran away with a giggle. I kept walking, watching her unsteady steps while the wind twirled her hair and she seemed to dance on the sand, free like the birds in the sky. Her giggles filled the silences between waves. The more I looked, the more I marveled that she was actually mine and that I had almost blew it with her. I almost blew it with the most gorgeous, most compassionate, caring, and loving woman I'd ever met.

"Look how pretty your Mommy is," I said to Alice and her sheepish grin seemed to agree with my statement.

Meredith finally walked back towards us and, when she was close enough, I took her arm and twirled her towards me, and kissed her. Her hand stilled on my chest, holding on there because everything was swirling while our lips were connected, a kind of kiss we hadn't shared for a while, not even during lovemaking. It was one of those kiss we had shared before Addison, when everything was raw, or before her drowning, or after the shooting and the miscarriage, because then we knew that we were going to fight to stay where we were meant to be.

"Let's get back inside," she said, almost reluctantly, when she pulled away. Her lips were swollen and her cheeks heated. I liked that I could do that to her with a single kiss and I liked what she could do to me as well.

"We better go, yeah," I grinned, pecking her lips one last time.

"We'll finish this later," she grinned, sneaking away and her giggle echoed in the fresh air.

AN: Okay, this was longer than usual, I know, I wanted to do two different chapters, one with the packing and the ride and the other one with the arrival, but they looked better together, so I kept it that way.

I want to thank my Beta once more because I really needed the help for a couple of things this chapter other than the title and I really appreciate all her work. And thank you to all the people who reviewed the last chapter, I'm so glad when people give their feedback, don't hesitate to suggest or criticize.

I'll warn you there will be only three more chapters and then the epilogue, I hope to have the story finished before June and there will be no sequel, Soft Shock's sequel is an handful alone as it is. I hope you'll stay around until the end and maybe you'll leave your opinion about the story at some point, I really like to hear from you all!