A/N: I was grinning like an idiot from the feedback I'm getting so far for this story. It's one thing to just read a story, but to actually write one and then get all the positive responses on top of that, it's an awesome feeling. I'm giddy like a toddler with a big bar of chocolate! :D This chapter was originally divided up into two short ones, but I felt you guys deserved more. Enjoy!

ps-next chapter might be told in the POV of a certain russian... so let me know if I should continue in RPOV or change it up a bit?

I ran until I reached a deserted garden on the east side of court. Even though it was night, it was beautiful. I could only imagine what it looked like in the sunlight.

I sat down on a stone bench, my chest was heaving not from the running but from my anger. I couldn't believe I said those things to Dimitri but at the same time I was glad.

I'd gone through so much pain thinking I lost him, then I went through so much trouble to hunt him down and in the end save him. But did I ever get a 'Thank you Rose for getting my soul back' ? Hell no!

It was Lissa he was pledging his undying gratitude towards. All the while giving me the cold shoulder as if I meant nothing to him. But now I guess that's exactly what I am. Nothing. His love has faded. I couldn't stop the tears that started to flow freely down my cheeks.

I tried to hold back the sobs that erupted from my mouth, but it was useless. I could feel the world crushing down on me. Pain. There, was so much pain that I had kept bottled up these last few weeks and it had finally started to spill out.

I was consumed in my own little world of misery. I slid my body off the bench and slumped down into the grass. I curled up in a ball and let the darkness take me.

Hold on a minute, darkness? I hadn't noticed before, put my vision was still red, something wasn't right. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Dark shadows were clutching my throat and severing off the air supply. My chest tightened from the sensation of sharp blades piercing my flesh. I need to make this stop, stop the torture I was in. This wasn't me. And as I thought those words, it was as if a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped on me. Everything I'd just experienced wasn't of my own doing-or at least not completely of my own free will. The irrational action, the dark shadows, this was the product of spirit's side effects.

The strength in my fight with Dimitri, the consuming anger I felt, the suffocating hurt... it all clicked in place in this moment. I had sensed it in the church, but as soon as I felt it, it was too late. The darkness had taken control. It was as if my emotions we lit on fire and they took action on their own accord.

I had pent up darkness from Lissa and Dimitri had set it off. Dimitri. I used to find comfort in the thought of depending on him if the darkness got bad, but he doesn't care anymore. I thought bitterly, yet I pulled myself back this time.

Somehow I snapped out of it. I couldn't help but wonder how far could I go until I couldn't fight it off anymore. What will be my limit? It took a certain amount of drama to set me off. What about next time?

I'd just attacked Dimitri, what if I really hurt someone next time? I almost killed Jesse Zeklos before at the academy, but I had someone there to help me. And then there was the intense mental break down. I would go crazy like Anna did. Hell, I probably am already crazy.

My emotions were all over the place. But two were the most dominant. Fear and Anxiousness. What happened in the church, whether it was a spirit-induced rampage or not, I still felt a deep satisfaction to finally release my frustration onto Dimitri.

Yet, the verbal threats and physical violence didn't seem to be enough. I could still feel the dull pulse of rage inside of me. I couldn't take it anymore, I need a break from the world. And that's when the idea popped in my head. Just leave.

It felt like the cowardly thing to do, run away, but if I could just leave court for a few days, and clear my head, what harm could it cause? I thought innocently. Lissa was safe here with all the guardians and wards, nothing would happen to her.

I stood up with a new determination. I wasn't going to let what Dimitri said effect me. I was Rose Hathaway. Strigoi killing badass. If he wanted me out of his life, then so be it. But that didn't mean I had to stick around and be troubled by his presence, and if I was honest with myself, if I just so happened to run into him again, I might not be able to restrain myself from breaking his arm or a few other bodily parts...

People say violence isn't the answer, but when you've been raised to do the complete opposite, it's kind of difficult not to vent your problems out through physical contact. Maybe it was the stress I've been through the last month, but it seemed my heart was becoming hollow and cold. Considering my paperwork death sentence from Hans, my life wasn't getting any better. I need some time for myself. A vacation for a little 'Rose alone time' was in order...

I started walking back to my room. I had a small stash of money saved up after returning to court with Lissa. I realized I needed to keep an emergency fund seeing as I was always jumping into situations where I needed a lot of cash.

I felt bad for using Adrian's card in Vegas so I gave it back to him and swore I'd pay every penny back. I felt remorse for using up his trust fund. It just didn't really feel right using someone else's money. Plus I wanted the privacy to be left alone. If I left, he would be able to tract me down again.

I didn't want to be someone's burden. But jewelry from a certain strigoi didn't count. I had somehow managed to keep the extravagant gifts that strigoi Dimitri had given me. I knew the diamonds were real and quite valuable so I smiled knowing I could finally finance my own 'adventure' without being a hindrance to anyone else.

But how was I going to leave court unnoticed? Lost in my own thoughts, I didn't notice the figure in front of me until I collided with it. (some guardian I am) "Umph! Sorry", I muttered.

A deep male voice chuckled as he said, "No no, the pleasure's all mine". Ambrose. Just the person I needed to talk to. Before I could quip back a smart ass response, I was crushed to his chest in a bear hug.

"Rose, how are you holding up? Belikov's an ass. I'd say I'd sock the bastard but it seems you've beaten me to it", I was shocked. I guess news traveled fast at court. In true Rose fashion I pulled out of the hug and flicked my hair back, "Well I'm not gonna stop you if want to. Maybe you could give him a broken nose to match that black eye", I retorted.

He just smirked and shook his head, "Maybe..." and he winked. I gave him a death glare and all the easygoingness left his face. Grinning I said, "Listen I need your help with something..."

The plan was set. I was meeting up with Ambrose in a half hour at the court's garage compound. I was currently packing in my room. I didn't want to take a whole lot with me. I flung a duffle bag onto my bed, I already had most of the essentials packed inside. With toiletries and clothes aside, I mused over what to take. I grabbed my workout trainers and tossed them in next to my sparring clothes. I tucked the strigoi jewelry securely in a small side pocket. Then I packed my back-up stake along with an extra holster that I could strap to my leg.

Next was a charm Lissa had given me, it was a simple silver bracelet, but it would disguise my physical appearence. Lastly, I hestitated as I went to my closet, buried under a heap of clothes was a box. I lifted the lid and inside sat the stake Lissa used on Dimitri to change him back. Don't ask me how I got it, let's just say, it wasn't easy finding it.

I don't know why I kept it either, it was a reminder of all the hardships I went through for it's purpose. And now all that effort was worthless. Why change a strigoi back if they're going to do nothing but mope over what they've done instead of embracing their second chance at life? I shook my head and packed it anyway, if anything I could use it as an extra spare if need be.

Ambrose had told the guards on duty that he was going out to a mall close by court to buy a gift for the queen. I involuntarily shuddered, at a mental image of the old bag going at it with him. I honestly didn't understand their 'relationship' arrangement and never would. Moroi biting dhampirs was a taboo thing. But if you're going to be a blood whore why not do it with someone that's at least hot? Not leathery...

I finished up packing and slung my bag on one shoulder. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote a quick note for Lissa. I told her I was fine and just needed a little space for a few days. I knew she didn't like me leaving but I hoped the note would calm her down and reassure her it was only temporary. I still wanted to be her guardian, so I knew I had to come back soon. I placed the note just under my door. It stuck out far enough so that you could read my handwriting sprawled across the front with her name on it. She would eventually find it.

I started walking to the garage where Ambrose was waiting. Since he was given permission to use one of the court's vehicles, we didn't have to steal anything. I was going to hide in the trunk of the car. Not really what I had envisioned, but after swinging at a supposed 'strigoi' in the middle of a church and almost harming Moroi in the process made me look like a bit of a high risk, which I noted was ridiculous if they still believed Dimitri was a strigoi yet he could stand in a church?

Yep, bulletproof logic there. Either way, it would be suspicious if I suddenly left court. I hadn't checked on Lissa yet so I decided to slip into her head, joy was flooding the bond as she was in the middle of healing someone.

Through her eyes I saw her hand gently placed on Dimitri's injured eye. The bruise vanished and he smiled at her adoringly. Son of a bitch! I thought. How dare she heal him! And as if she could sense my thoughts she jerked her hand away from him and stood up quickly, Rose? she asked through the bond.

I defensively pulled myself out of her head and put up my mental walls. How the hell did she sense my thoughts? I thought the bond was oneway. I felt my pocket vibrate and I instinctively pulled my cellphone out and answered it.

"Hathaway", I answered in a professional tone. "Rose why did you push him! Can't you see he's still recovering!", Lissa all but screamed in the phone. I couldn't believe she was defending him after what he'd said to me.

I suddenly felt furious again, " For your information Lissa he pushed me", I hissed and immediately clamped the phone shut. I was seething when I met up with Ambrose. "Let's go". Were my only words to him as I turned my back on the life I was leaving behind.

A/N: Hey guys! Sooo... whatcha think? Good, bad, confusing? It's my first fanfic so critiques are welcomed! I'll update every Monday so that way you have something to look forward to at the beginning of the week and maybe on Fridays to give you a little somethin' somethin' for the weekend. ; ) Please review! That little button down there will give you a cookie if you do...

~Fabulous