Hi folks! I'm sorry if this chapter is not really long, the next two will make up for those last two.

The song is again Communion Cups And Someone's Coat by Iron&Wine, I'm sure you guessed my latest obsession, right?

Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy their last day on the beach told us by Derek. I remind you that this is one of the last chapters to review ;)

Part 29 – Come Find Me on a Beach

He was weak, and I was strong—then—

So He let me lead him in—

I was weak, and He was strong then—

So I let him lead me—Home.

Emily Dickinson

I slid quietly under the covers, afraid of waking Meredith up. She put Alice to sleep while I stayed on the porch and read one of the books from the huge library in the living room. I went upstairs after a while, I'd been caught up in the story and enjoying the nighttime breeze, and when I peeked in, Meredith was already asleep.

"Why should I blame you?" she asked calmly, but little bit groggily, surprising me. I wrapped my arms around her.

She had probably been thinking, waiting for me to join her under the covers. She'd looked like she wanted to talk to me that morning, but we'd gotten a little bit distracted, and then the day had flown by with lots of games, and walks on the beach as soon as the sky cleared up. We were both too exhausted and caught up in the activities to pick up the conversation we'd begun that morning. Until that moment it is.

"Sorry, I woke you up," I mumbled, buying myself some time to process her question.

"I was awake, don't worry. Why should I blame you for the shooting or the miscarriage?" She whispered the last part and it broke my heart. I told her she could blame me in the car, but she still didn't feel okay with it, after days. And I'd given her as much time to dwell on it as she wanted. She had probably finally come to terms with what she really wanted. I knew she felt responsible, but I hadn't known it had affected her so deeply.

"I didn't protect you. I just hid you in a closet and hoped he wouldn't find you. I failed our children more than you think. I failed you. I failed the entire hospital," I answered. I had always felt the burden of all those deaths on my shoulders, now with the added weight of her personal pain.

"Derek, you did the best that you could." She sighed, and I kissed her shoulder, pulling her a bit closer to my chest.

"I had almost convinced him." I sighed, memories of that fateful day coming back in unpleasant waves. "Then I looked away for a second and bang, I was bleeding all over the floor. I was really afraid that the kiss on the OR table could have been our last one Meredith, and I am the only one to blame," I admitted for the first time, but she didn't seem scared or mad. She just wriggled to face me, taking my face in her hands.

"You fought back Derek. That's all that matters to me. Now you know what 'back to life' feels like, not just 'dying in your arms'." Her voice quivered and she kissed me, before pulling away and lying in my arms again. Our bodies were close enough that we were sharing body heat.

"I think I do," I sighed. Quiet wrapped around us, and her hand found mine, holding on tight. With my free hand I began to trace her body, caressing her in slow, soothing gestures. She was breathing evenly, but something changed and her breath changed.

"I wanted to tell you about the baby, you know. It just didn't seem right to spit out something that beautiful during such a sad time. I thought...I thought…" she stammered, quivering in my arms.

"It's okay, you can tell me," I said. She sighed heavily. Her fingers squeezed mine even tighter.

"I thought that you'd say 'what's the point' too…" she looked away, and turned her back to me. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks.

"You would have been the point. You were reason enough to fight harder." I pulled her closer to my chest and she didn't protest.

"I thought..." her glassy eyes drifted outside the window, looking at the sea, her tears still falling heavily.

"When you were in the water you asked yourself what's the point in fighting?" I turned her to face me, and she nodded, unable to look me in the eyes. She nuzzled her nose into my chest instead. I pulled her closer, cradling and lulling her, unable to stop the buzzing in my mind. "It was all my fault, I'm sorry. I've hurt you so badly in the past, I'm so sorry," I began whispering, as she cried silently in my arms.

Apologies would never be enough, I realized. My vision blurred as well, because I knew that some of the things that had become her burden in Elliot Bay were my fault and I was never going to forgive myself for that. I breathed deeply, tasting her lavender-scented skin with a soft kiss.

"You pulled me out of the water, Derek," she sighed as well, brushing away her tears. "I was thinking about you while I held the bomb and most importantly you lived, after you got shot in the chest. You are the main reason I'm still alive and I'm glad you were – you are – the point of all of it. You were heaven and hell, and especially every single thing in between. Hell was the first step to heaven. I didn't drown, I didn't get shot, and I didn't get blown into pink mist because of you, you should be proud."

She brushed away the last of her tears and I realized that I couldn't say anything in response. She had stunned me into silence. She'd talked to me, openly, like we should've done in the past, instead, bottling everything up before exploding and yelling at each other. She just kept looking at me with all of that trust and love and, like she said, everything in between, because she was everything.

"I am really proud of you, Meredith."

I wasn't ashamed to admit it, because despite me ruining everything, every time, she kept forgiving me, and she held on to the good memories. She loved me even when I was married, when I let things go overboard at the prom, when I called her a whore or a lemon, and when I decided that I couldn't breathe for her anymore. She stuck with me while I was in the hospital, barely alive, right after she had just lost our baby. I took away her chance to grieve, but she was still there. And yet, she was smiling with those perfect gray-green eyes, full of shimmering tears and moonlight.

"Do you want to relive some good memories now, Derek?" she asked, reading my mind, and breaking the quiet that had enveloped us while we were beaming at each other, taking in each other's well-known features.

"Name one." I smiled, because I knew it was going to be a good one.

"Los Angeles," she replied simply, with a smirk. No more words were needed, we both knew it. We had all ready relived memories like those during that trip all ready. Something was different this time though.

"We can't do it. We can't leave Alice all alone, even if she is asleep." I sighed, almost disappointed. "I like where your head is, though."

"I didn't mean the ocean part. I meant the after part, the balcony." Her eyes twinkled with a mischievous, lusty look.

"Oh." I smiled widely when she got up and padded downstairs, taking the baby monitor with her. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I made it downstairs, she was already on the porch, sitting there in just her underwear. Her whole, wonderful body was exposed to the moonlight. You couldn't tell she'd had a baby only nine months ago, because she looked beautiful.

"We talked, first," she whispered when she heard me approaching her. I sat on the chair next to hers and kept looking at her. That face meant business.

"I think we already covered that part," I smirked, and she kept smiling. The scenery was different from that morning, but nothing seemed to have changed.

"We need to be quiet this time, I know there aren't any neighbors, but I'd really like to wait to give Alice the sex talk until she can actually understand it," she joked, happily, all of her lingering tears had disappeared.

"You're the one who's loud," I teased back.

"You're the one that makes me a loud person" she said defensively, pouting in the cutest way.

"So it's my fault then?"

"Always, you're a man, you're born with faults," she grinned, leaning in to kiss me senseless.

"I seem to remember you loving all of them," I was able to reply after she pulled away, leaving me a panting mess. She wasn't in much better shape, though.

"I still love them. I just recognize them more easily than you." My lips found her neck and she wriggled in her seat when I touched a ticklish spot that I knew she loved, trying to close the distance between us.

"How so?" I whispered, but her answer was drowned in the following kiss.

"I want to come back here sometime Derek," she changed subject. She was still able to form coherent thoughts, while I was all ready senseless at the mere sight of her. "Just the two of us," she added.

"So we can go skinny-dipping again?" She grinned at my suggestion, but shook her head.

"Naughty man," she slapped me on the chest, and kissed me right after. "In a couple of years maybe, you know, to spend some time together just you and me. Alice will be old enough to be left alone with someone else, and it would just be us for a little while, I kinda miss moments like those sometimes," she whispered and despite her smile, I knew that she wasn't joking anymore. Even her hold on me became softer, more loving, not driven by the rush to be naked like before.

"Yeah, me too, we're so busy back home that we barely have the time to talk to each other sometimes." I kissed her. "It's a good idea, Mer, I love it."

Her eyes met mine and I could see hundreds emotions there, but none of them were recognizable, until she spoke. "We could try for another baby too." Her cheeks flushed under the moonlight, and she was more beautiful than ever.

"In a couple of years?" my eyes widened in surprise and joy, and I loved her a little bit more with each passing second.

"I'll be what, a fifth year resident, it will be okay, right?"

"You really want to start trying here in two years?" I tested the waters again, still not quite believing that we were having that conversation.

"Yes, I want to have another baby with you Derek. I just want some more time to enjoy Alice, that's all. Maybe we can wait three years, I don't know..."

"We can wait as long as you want." I kissed her softly, confirming our decision.

"We should do it without any pressure though, just enjoy each other."

"We need to practice," I teased, slipping my hand under her shirt and noticing her lack of bra. My breath quickened.

"Our daughter's asleep upstairs. I think she was enough practice," she smirked, her hand sneaking under my t-shirt as well. She pulled it over my head before I could protest.

"Practice makes perfect." I copied her action and let her breast shine in the moonlight. She was breathtaking and I could never get enough of her.

"Yes it does."

AN: Okay, one more chapter and then I'll post the epilogue to this story. I still can't believe I made it.

You know, I really appreciated all the reviews and I'm sorry if I didn't replied to some, but the site is giving me a hard time with the links, so I wanted to thank all the people I haven't replied yet. I hope you'll review again and i'll get the chance to personally say thank you to each one of you.

Thanks to the hundreds of readers who anonimously read as well, I can't believe you're still out there reading...

Well, just wait patiently for the next two updates before the final goodbye...