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Yumichika's diet consisted of nothing but vegetables that could be grown in bulk. Potatoes, onions, radishes. All of these made him nearly gag as he forced them down, but he needed something for energy.
He would almost prefer to starve and look frail and ugly. Not quite, but almost. His entire line of work was lying and cheating, using his beautiful looks to trick people, then extorting money from them. He wasn't a stranger to the ugly practice of stealing, either. He even sold his body to those who would pay a high enough price.
He didn't possess any accessories, nor any beautiful clothing. Very often, he would be angry to see ugly people in beautiful clothes. He didn't find it fair that the ugly could be more well off than him, truthfully.
There was no way he could afford the things he'd like to have, though. He would love to have enough to buy some type of good, or merely passable foods and nice things to wear. He hated living in such awful ways, even though he made so much effort to fool himself into thinking his life as it was could be increasing his incredible.
He'd been sitting at his tattered vanity nearly all morning, brushing his hair with an unattractive comb that he loathed, and simply thinking. He wasn't ready to go out and earn himself more food.
A knock came at the door that made Yumichika nearly jump off his little worn down stool. No one ever visited, hardly anyone even knew he lived here besides his neighbors, and he surely didn't do anything to disturb the ugly residents of the building, did he? Or at least, he didn't believe so.
The knock came again, persistent and loud. Yumichika sighed, not particularly liking the impatiences of the person at the door, nor wanting to answer it for any reason other than making the annoying visitor leave. It wouldn't be a dishonest statement to say Yumichika didn't much like company at this point in time. He got up, scooted in his stool and answered the door.
"Why are you here?"
"Nice to see you too, Mr. Ayasegawa," the bald drunk who had been in his apartment the night before said. "I left my katana here."
What a strange item for him to miss. A stray katana in his apartment should have been detected within seconds of seeing someone sleeping in his room. "A katana?"
"Listen, I know it's strange since we don't know each other, for something of mine to be in your-"
"It's fine. I know you accidentally slept in my bed last night," Yumichika smiled. He had actually wanted a chance to talk to the mysterious Ikkaku after hearing the prettiness of his name. Quite possibly the only pretty thing about him, now that he thought about it, but it was enough.
"Well, that doesn't make this any less awkward, but at least less explaining. I guess I owe you an apology?"
Yumichika shook his head as to disagree. "Apology is so ugly. Even the word starts with an 'Ape' sound."
"Still, aren't you kinda pissed at me for it?"
"Stop using such ugly terms."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Yumichika wanted to laugh a bit at the others amusing vulgarity, but thought better of it. "If you want to make amends, why don't you come in and talk a bit?"
Ikkaku tilted his head a bit, confused.
"Come on, why not?"
"Just, I thought you hated drunks. I came to apologize before you visited my apartment at a bad time."
"This is a good time? I'd think you'd still have a hangover."
"Not really, alcohol tends to wear off on me really quickly."
Standing at the door was such an ugly way to communicate, Yumichika thought. "I'd really like you to come in, and tell me who told you I hate drunkards."
Ikkaku really wasn't even sure why he bothered to come over and try to apologize to someone with such strange quirks, but it'd be even more difficult to try and weasel his way out of the mess now that he was already here. He walked in reluctantly and sat at a small dining table, which was missing sitting mats and one of it's legs.
Yumichika followed and smiled, which was strange to see on a face who lived in such squalor. "Now, tell me, who told you I hated drunkards?"
"You said that. Or something like it."
"I said it was an unrefined way to use your time. Not to mention the money it must cost, you're one of the people who needs food, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I am. I got plenty of money from beating up idiots who have heavy pockets, though. You need to eat, too. Right?"
"Unfortunately," Yumichika replied. "I have to eat absolutely filthy food every day because there are no beautiful ways to make money in places such as this."
"What's up with you and beauty?"
Yumichika was almost hesitant to answer. Not because he had to think about what aesthetics really meant to him, but rather if he'd be laughed at when he gave the answer. Quietly, Yumichika decided to answer with a question. "What's fighting to you?"
"A way to survive."
"It's all you have here to keep you attached."
"That's kind of a more philosophical way to put it, but I guess so."
"Beauty is what keeps me from just giving up entirely," Yumichika said, avoiding Ikkaku's eyes. He felt strange for putting that out in open air for a complete stranger. He could have easily came up with some half truth that wasn't nearly so incriminating.
"So we're the same, in a way."
"Comparing beauty to fighting is like comparing diamond to lead," the raven haired man replied. He hated being made an equal of anyone, probably more than he hated the idea of ugly people being richer than he was.
"We both get made fun of what we do, though."
"You may have a point. There's not one in this run down pile of garbage that's passed off as a district of the Soul Society who wouldn't enjoy exchanging rumors of one of us two."
"Really, there are that many about you?"
"Wasn't that what you just implied?"
Ikkaku smiled, and Yumichika thought instantly that the man's smile was unrefined and boarded on psychological insanity, but at the same time was rather contagious. Yumichika smiled in spite of himself. "I was just talking about pretty boys and drunks, in general."
The "pretty boy" blushed in embarrassment. "Actually, there are people who love driving both of us into the dirt, and they're the majority. I understand myself, because I steal from the rich and stupid. You, they just enjoy poking at because of your wild unpredictable behavior."
"Unpredictable? I do nearly the same thing every day. This is the first time I've broken my daily routine in weeks. And to tell you the truth, it was just so you wouldn't interrupt that routine later when I was in a bad mood," Ikkaku's grin grew when he saw the man across from him shrink visibly.
"So you make it a habit to get drunk every night, and either pick a fight or flirt with everything that has a pulse? One time, I remember working as a, well, uh..." Yumichika cleared his throat. "As a escort in a bar, and just outside was a noblewoman who was there to 'view the town', whom you proceeded to hit on.
"Somehow, you got away with only a few bruises and you were back to the same bar the very next night. You tried your luck with some girls again, but when it didn't work you started to pick fights with four or five guys at a time. A few days later, you were drinking in the corner, relaxed, telling jokes and didn't even talk to anyone provocatively."
"I didn't know you were a-"
Yumichika wished he left his temporary occupation out of the mix. "Listen, it's no different than selling out and using your ability for fighting each and every night." He looked down, blushing furiously. He should know by now not to talk so freely, seeing as he always managed to get carried away. "So, just don't finish what you were about to say. Even I get desperate to eat, and there's not a whole lot of things I'm suited to do."
"I'm not one to judge, don't worry," Ikkaku said, trying to take away from the awkwardness of the situation. He was actually enjoying the conversation, and didn't want to leave just yet. Truthfully, he didn't remember the last time that he felt so at ease, talking for no other reason than just to speak, and not doing anything but.
The fact that he was comfortable around the person he had actually disliked for some time now was rather strange. Yumichika was known for being vain and hateful towards anyone whom he didn't find pretty. For as long as they had contact with each other, Ikkaku got the feeling that he wasn't on this man's pretty list.
"Is it alright if I call you Ikkaku?" Yumichika asked after a moment of silence.
"As long as it's alright for me to call you Yumichika."
"I'd actually prefer that," Yumichika answer with a bit of a smile, even though it was obvious he still felt a little awkward. "Hold on. We've been talking and we haven't even looked for the katana you left here beforehand."
"Oh, shit. That's the reason I came in the first place," Ikkaku stood up and tried to think of where he left it. He scanned the scarcely decorated room. There weren't a whole lot of places he could have left it in such a small and barren room.
"Now that I think of it," Yumichika said, "I slept absolutely awful last night. I mean, I'm never really very comfortable on such a horrible sleeping mat."
"Let's not talk about beauty sleep, that katana is my way of staying alive, alright?"
"It's not small talk you bald idiot!" Yumichika said with a pout and walked over to his mattress which was hardly a foot tall, and reached under it. He pulled out a shabby katana. "Would this be the item in question?"
"You are a piece of work. I can't believe you'd even notice something like that."
"I'm not a brute, of course I would feel and sword under my already uncomfortable bed. I was just so tired that I didn't think to check for it. Why would you put it there, though?"
"I always sleep with my sword nearby. I have a pretty long list of enemies."
"That's a bad way to live, always afraid of being attacked," Yumichika said softly. "It'll cause early wrinkles."
Ikkaku, almost fooled that the pretty boy was being serious for a second, scoffed. "I'm not afraid of anyone or anything attacking me. I'm just ready for them. I know they'll be comin' eventually."
"I guess you want to leave, now that you have your sword back?"
Although it was strange, Ikkaku wasn't even thinking about leaving yet. He knew it was pointless to stay now that he had no more reason to be in Yumichika's room. He shook his head and sat back down, with his katana placed at his side. "I'll stay and talk a little bit longer. I've got nothing else to do."
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