A/N: Hey, so here's the new chapter. I really like writing in the mystery POV style so I'm adding in a completely (kind of) new character. This chapter is a little on the sour side though, it isn't as 'vibrant' as some of the others. I never liked Rose dating Adrian so that should explain this chapter a lot... enjoy?

Body located in the St. Vladimir's Academy morgue

I felt like my skin had been set on fire and my bones had been turned to solid ice. I felt...strange. I opened my eyes and was momentarily blinded by the light above me. I sat up to find I had been lying down on a cool metal table and I was wearing only a hospital gown.

Where am I? I distantly mused. I couldn't remember anything, not even my name. My body felt stiff, like I hadn't moved in days. I brushed my fingers against my forearm and flinched, my skin was ice-cold. It didn't have any heat. What the hell? I pressed two of my fingers to the inside of my wrist and took my radial pulse. It was so slow I almost didn't pick up on it. This can't be right.

I was momentaily distracted as I noticed something yellow dangling on my right toe. It looked to be some sort of tag, but before I could make out what it said I caught onto something else.

I heard a soft thumping sound echo off the walls and bounce around in my ears, it was steady and repetitive. My mouth started to water from the sound and I glided my tongue over my extented fangs. I'm thirsty a voice whispered in my head.

Without really realizing what was happening, I found myself sliding off the table. I started to follow the pleasant thumping sound. My pulse started to quicken as I drew nearer to the source. I walked down a narrow hallway that led to an office. The door was open and as I edged closer to the room, I noticed a man sitting at a desk typing on a computer. He had his back facing me so he couldn't see me approaching.

I inhaled his scent as the thumping became louder. So thirsty... that voice whispered to me again. Everything became suddenly clear to me, the thumping sound was coming from his throbbing heart. And than scent was his luscious, sweet blood. I could feel my chest beat wildly as I realized I knew what that voice in my head wanted.

In a flash I stood directly behind the man and started to crouch down towards his head. I think it occurred to him to turn around just as I sank my fangs into his neck and fed. Thirsty was the only coherent thought that ran through my mind as I drained the life out of him...

RPOV

The hot water cascaded down the length of my body. My muscles relaxed under the soothing heat and gentle massage from the speed of the water droplets crashing down on my skin. I pressed my forehead against the smooth tile while I leaned more into my side that was already sagged against the shower wall. I let out a blissful sigh. It's been the first time in three days that I've been able to take a shower.

After I called Sydney in Montana, I've been constantly traveling as far away from the academy and cavern as I possibly can. In the process, I had to reluntantly abandon the motorcycle. Driving it was exhilarating but at the same time, with my injuries it wasn't the most practical. Once I was in better physical shape I would definately have to get one.

I've stolen three cars since then, even though I had set up a bank account and had a good bit of money on me, I needed it to last me and wasting it on a rental car just wasn't going to happen. I of course felt guilty for taking them, but I inflicted no damage to the cars, I just drove them until they ran out of gas where I would park them in a safe area and go find another.

And that's basically been my routine for the past fews days. I would spent the early part of my days driving, lost in my thoughts and the rest of the time asleep in various hotels. I've never felt so exhausted in my life, not to mention my body felt like shit. I guess the emotional strain mixed in with my fight injuries was catching up with me.

The swelling on my jaw had gone down, but it left me with a hideous bruise. Every time I would look in the mirror I would grimance. I tried my best to cover it up with consealer but it wasn't helping me much. I hated it because it reminded me so much of the black eye my mother accidentally gave me once. And back then it took a whole week before it healed. I shuddered from the memory. It triggered some of the anger I held back and it started trickle to the surface. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of my mother. Our relationship had started to improve recently, but that didn't mean I fully forgave her for the things she's done. Even if they were unintentional.

I lightly pressed my teeth together and flinched. Eating wasn't fun anymore. I had taken all the painkillers Dr. Olendzki had given me so I was left with an aching pain in my mouth. I couldn't eat anything solid, every time I tried, it was so excruciating that I would have to immediately stop. In the mornings, I would fawn over the pile of donuts in the breakfast line in the hotel, but would have to reluntantly stick to eating yogurt and drinking juice. Yesterday, I was so desperate I quickly wolfed one down in three bites but immediately regreted it afterwards when the sharp pain started flaring up from the friction.

I've bought some overthecounter painkillers at a drug store, but they weren't doing much good. Dhampirs have a strong resistance to human drugs. So at the moment, I would have to just wait out the pain until my body healed on it's own.

And to top off the physical pain, I looked terrible. I had cuts and bruises all over my arms and legs, I had bags under my eyes and my face seemed to be void of all emotion. I was trying my damn hardest to not think about what happened to me over the past week. But the stress of it all was taking it's toll on me regardless.

Ever since Kate's death, I've been locked in a glum mood. I didn't want to remember her or the heartwrenching look of pain that was in her mother's eyes when she confirmed her daughter's death. It was all too consuming, but at night when I was asleep, I would relive those moments repeatedly and so vividly. The way she looked, the bite marks across Kate's neck, her bloody dirty clothes, the emotionless look on her face when her soul crossed over to the land of the dead, her mother's frantic but unsuccessful attempt to revive her body... I mentally scolded myself. When I was awake, I forbade myself to think of it, but here I was drifting off again...

I didn't even acknowledge my feelings for Dimitri or Lissa. Whatever shard of love I felt for them was completely and utterly unimportant at the moment. They betrayed me. So why the hell would they even deserve the privilege of me sparing them a thought. I don't think so. Not yet that is, eventually I'm going to have to face the facts and come to terms with my problems, but for the moment, the only thing I was concerned about was myself. My body needed some time for rest before I could even fathom the thought of going back to the royal court.

The water started to run cold so I cut the line off and eased myself out of the stall. For the first few days, my body was so sore and stiff I couldn't really even stand without being consumed in sharp pains and aches, so I spent my time sleeping in bed and soaking in tubs. My rib was starting to heal, but the spot was still very tender and a monstrous bruise had formed on my side. I dried off and put on a pair of cotton shorts and matching tank top. I pulled my wet hair into a loose ponytail and emerged from the bathroom where I careful slid into a plush king size bed that was covered in a mountain of pillows.

I was currently staying in the deluxe suite in a very nice hotel. I figured, I'm on vacation-might as well splurge. It had it's own private terrace, small modern kitchenette, lavish living room equipped with a huge plasma flatscreen TV, and the best part was the bathroom-complete with a five jet jacuzzi tub. I soaked in there for hours yesterday, just relaxing in a savory trance as it relieved my body pains.

I snuggled against the fluffy pillows surrounding me, last night was one of the best nights of sleep I'd had in awhile, I had no nightmares, just the blissful emptyness of deep sleep. This was by far the best hotel I've stayed at and just laying here in this bed erased all my worries. I had requested extra pillows so I could get support to my back to sleep upright because if I didn't, I'd end up shifting to my side and would be jostled awake from a sharp jabbing pain in my rib. But in this bed, with such a cushioned mattress and the comfort of all the pillows, I slipped into and stayed in sleep with ease.

I grabbed my cellphone that was placed on my nightstand and double checked that it was fully charged before turning it off. When I ditched the motorcycle, I left the cellphone with it as well. I knew once the academy noticed the bike missing along with me and Dr. Olendzki's cellphone, they'd but two and two together and try tracing it. So I made sure to rid of any evidence of my runaway as possible.

Unfortunately this left me with no means of communication if I needed help, so I bought a new cellphone complete with a new number to start out fresh. I placed the phone back down on the table and involuntarily yawned as I glanced out at the setting sun that was peeking through the shades of the widows in the suite. Just as I promised myself, I've been living on a human schedule. It was fantastic being out in the sun every day, but it did come with it's cost.

It left me unguarded at night when I slept where the strigoi were out stalking the night. I kept one of my two remaining stakes safely consealed under one of my pillows for extra precaution, but I haven't run into any strigoi since the cave fight. And to that I was relieved, don't get me wrong I love a good fight and could still hold my own, but I wanted some time for my injuries to heal before I fought again.

I was also getting low on weapons. I started out in this journey with three stakes and now I was down to my two backups. I was secretly in mourning over losing my stake. I just thought I'd have it for a little while longer. And I know what you're thinking, why are you moping over an inadament object? can't you always just get another one? But hey, me and that stake went through a lot of tough times together. So yeah, I'd always miss my first stake.

My eyelids fluttered down as I started to drift asleep. And as I fell into the comforts of the sweet darkness it was then that my troubled thoughts decided to come barging in breaking me away from my placid state. I was drowned in despair and loneliness-remembering how much I've gone through lately.

And now, I just feel hopeless...

I originally thought this vacation would be temporary, but the more time I spent away from the Moroi world, the more I realized I didn't want to be a part of it.

If and when I returned, what was waiting for me? A boyfriend with no motivation of accomplishing something along with a drinking problem/cigarette addiction and let's face it, going insane. Plus his parents and aunt hated me for dating him, a best friend who stabbed me in the back and the once love of my life that views me as the most repulsive thing on this planet.

Yeah, I had so much to look forward to. But if I stayed away, I could ment my screwed up life with a fresh new start. I could get a job out here with humans, save up some money and go to college like Kate's friends did. I could build myself up a brand new life where my past and problems would remain faded behind me until they would eventually dissolve away for forever. Maybe there still was hope for me after all. I just needed to piece it back together like a puzzel. With this new revelation, I drifted into unconsciousness. But as I felt myself fall asleep, I was suddenly aware of being pulled into a spirit dream...

I found myself standing in what seemed to be a hospital room. It looked strangely familiar to the one I was in just a few days ago at the academy. I looked down at my body to see I was wearing my dirty, bloody clothes from the cave fight. Oh crap, I thought. Not another nightmare. But before I started to panic someone opened the door and strode in.

Adrian stood before me in all his lazy royal glory. His brown hair meticulously styled messy, he was dressed in a dark grey long sleeve shirt that hugged his muscles. I was always impressed that he even had a built, most moroi didn't. To finish the look, he wore dark designer jeans and black leather shoes.

His emerald green eyes filled with relief when he saw me, "Little dhampir where have you been? I've been looking for you..." he trailed off as he took in my rough appearance, in one quick stride, he rushed over to me and pulled me into a tight embrace as he started gushing out a string of questions, "What happened to you? Who did this? Where are you? I'll come get you."

I flinched and pulled out of his embrace as a surge of shooting pain erupted from my side. I stumbled back as I clutched my side. I grumbled to myself, even in a dream, I couldn't escape my physical pain. Adrian's eyes widened with worry. But I put my hand up to stop him from speaking or coming any closer. "I'm fine", I muttered as I sucked in a sharp breath and stood up straight again.

"The hell you are, Rose come back to court, I'll heal you." he said almost frantic. "You have to come back, Lissa's a mess." I stiffened when he mentioned her. I shook my head before I said, "I told you I'm fine and I'm not going back anytime soon. I need some time alone."

I gave him an impassive look and turned my attention away from him as I said, "And I was under the impression you wanted some space too..." towards the end, my voice turned bitter.

He stood in front of me again and said, "Look Rose, I'm sorry about the fight and we-" he abruptly stopped as he squinted his eyes and gave me a puzzeled look.

"What?" I exclaimed. I shifted my weight to my other leg and tried cocking one of my eyebrows but was unsuccessful as he continued to give me a perplexing stare.

His brows furrowed in confusion as he said, "Your aura looks weird..."

"What do mean?" I asked now a little concerned.

"I don't how, but you're usual blackness is a light grey and you have less shadows. And I can pick up on some very faint rays of red. I've never seen anything like it..." he trailed off.

"Well I have been feeling strange lately. Maybe it's another shadow kissed side effect." I mused aloud. This was starting to scare me a bit. First it was the super strength, then hallucinations and the whole ghost thing, and then I had that crazy bloodlust problem... I shook my head. I didn't want to get into it now.

"Adrian I know you're concerned but I'm fine, and as for the aura, don't worry about it. I was in a fight, but I'm okay now. So you don't have to stress over me-"

"I have every right to stress over you!" he cut it, "I know things have been a little crazy lately but, Rose you're my girlfriend. I deeply care about you and I think I l-love you..." his voice softened at the end.

Adrian's never told me that before. I stared back at him now with my own look of surprise. Guilt washed over me. I didn't deserve to be with him when I didn't share the same feelings. I suddenly remembered Dimitri's words when he questioned me about dating Adrian when he was still locked in a cell: Adrian's a better person than he gets credit for. He'll be good to you.

But those words did nothing but make me feel worse, I wanted a real relationship with Adrian and I did love him, but only in a friend type of way. I was deluding myself with the thought of that love growing into something else. I looked back at Adrian now sad, I knew deep down we'd never work as a couple, no matter how happy I felt around him, it could never contain the amount of electric feelings I had with Dimitri. And I knew it was wrong to lead him on any longer.

I opened my mouth to say something when another memory popped in my head. It was when Adrian and I were fighting after I didn't show up to a party I said I'd go to with him. I had asked him to stay and talk with me but he had snapped saying that he was tired: I just can't handle playing this game right now, he had said.

My blood started to boiled from the memory. It was a reminder of how much we just didn't belong together and how sick I was with the whole concept of 'being in love'.

"Love is not a game Adrian. And at the moment, it's something I'm just not so desperate to obtain. No good ever comes from it."

"Rose what the hell are you talking about? Just come back, we'll talk about it in person." he said

"That's just it! I DON'T want to talk about it! Any of it! Don't you understand? I. Want. To. Be. Alone!" he opened his mouth up to say something, but I cut him off. "What is so difficult for you to comprehend that I've had enough. Enough of it ALL! Nothing has gone right in my life. And then when I think I've finally found something good with someone, think I'm loved and cared for and supported, they pull the chair out from under me and stab my heart!". I've never been the kind of person to ever cry infront of someone. To pour my heart and thoughts out of my iron defenses. And never would I cry infront of a guy, but I guess it's to be expected of me now. My life now seemed to be driven by the unexpected.

My cheeks burned as I felt the sting of hot tears slide down them. I sucked in a ragged breath and that only made things worse. "I like you Adrian. I truly mean than, but I'm just no longer capable of love." I spat the word as if it were something dirty. Well, it kind of is.

I quickly turned away from him, I didn't want him seeing me like this.

"Rose I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, but you must understand where I'm coming from. Even then, after everything he's done, you kept running back to him." He was obviously referring to Dimitri

I swirled around in agitation, "What the hell are you talking about!"

"Rose don't act naive, it's written all over your aura, you still have feelings for Dimitri. The real question in all of this is why. The guy's long gone and obviously doesn't want you anymore, yet you kept throwing yourself at him. And you know the worse part in all of this? You're supposed to be dating me!"

I flinched, he had started to shout. "Adrian, I'm sorry, I truly am, but maybe you're right." He fixed me a penetrating gaze. "What are you trying to say Rose, I was right in saying I've been deluding myself this whole time!"

"Well partially yes" I replied, his eyes became heated but I quickly continued, "And it's not entirely Dimitri's fault either. I made the foolish decision when I let myself fall for his antics."

"Oh so that's why you left? To 'get over him' and avoid me!" his voice hissed.

I glared at him. This wasn't going in the direction I wanted. Adrian was blowing this out of proportion and I wondered if his anger was spirit induced. I let out a loud sigh. I didn't want to upset him. "Look, this really isn't about him anymore. I left to clear my head, I've been through a lot lately. I've been doing some thinking and Lissa's a part of why I left. I've known Lissa since we were little kids. I always saw her as family. I loved her uncondionally. But I was blinded by her too! I let myself get lost in the glow of our friendship, and little did I know that friendship was just bait for her sick and twisted trap! I..." I choked up suddenly. This was all too much, I wasn't making any coherent sense anymore. I realized that being here with Adrian, even if it was a dream, was provoking the pain and anger I kept locked up. I needed to get out of here. I can't be around anyone I know, it's all just too much.

I need my time to heal, and if I kept any link to my old life, I would continue to swim in my own torment. What I was about to do next, I would always regret because even if I'm in pain, I hate to see others in it, or put others through it. I glanced away from Adrian. Just for a brief moment as I dried my traitor tears away and slipped on my guardian mask. With this quick resolve, I turned back to Adrian. My stomach felt like it was being stabbed by a hundred freezing cold knives as I readied myself to break his heart.

"I know I said I'd give you a fair shot, but honestly, I can't. I'm just not ready for anything right after everything that's happened with him and now Lissa. I need some time alone. Single. And if we're really being honest here, I do love you but just not in the same way as you obviously do for me."

Hurt and anger flickered over his face, "You know what, maybe it's a good thing you're gone. You obviously don't care about anyone but yourself. Just forget we ever dated..." and like the snap of a finger the dream ended and I woke up in shock.

A/N: Don't forget to review! I'm curious to know what you're thinking! Push that little button down there or I might just have to resort to sending Adrian out to dream stalk you...

; )

~Fabulous