Bookends By: Bella's Executioner.
Rating: M- this means if you're under 16 you are agreeing to break your own ToS by reading this and I'm not your mother so be responsible for yourself.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner.
A/N: Bookends is the very first fanfiction I started writing. It's been on this site, moved and come back. It has errors, fuck ups and lots of proofs that I'm human but it also has all of my heart and soul in it. I welcome you into this world of pain and love and hope that you enjoy. I also welcome your thoughts as you read—pm me or review and I'll be happy to discuss the story with you.
Chapter 5- Old Friends
-**-Bookends-**-
APOV (Forks high gym, Cullenista launch two months later)
"Earth to Bella!" I snapped my fingers in front of her glazed eyes.
The child really was beginning to infuriate me these days. It was wonderful that my cousin was finally taking the lead. He'd spent the last two months making my best friend his number one priority—it was totally romantic, and of course no big surprise to me. But it was impossibly distracting.
Bella went from the abandoned little girl to the attached young woman and seemingly over night. I had always known there was something there between Edward and Bella. They were just right. Like Danny and Sandy, Leo and Kate, peanut butter and jelly, Edward and Bella belonged in each other's lives. They just needed the right push by one tiny, little hand of fate—a perfect little pixie sized hand to be precise.
But I was desperately regretting forcing Edward's hand so quickly on my wide eyed friend. Bella used to be the girl who had it all together. Lately she was just some naïve blushing school girl. It used to be that I could prattle on to Bella for days about my designs, knowing that she was just humoring me and clueless as to what I was talking about, but present in mind and body none-the-less. Now all she could do was stare off in to space and shake her head while admitting that she was thinking about Edward.
Damn him. It was just like that cousin of mine to sweep in and turn my perfectly constructed plan of setting up the next great American romance into an offensive to rob me of my Bella hook up.
Bella still had plenty of time to hang out with me as long as I didn't mind the six foot goiter growing out of her right hip. I could go to the movies with her any time just as long as I understood that she would be cracking wise commentary with her new Ebert while my Siskel sat silently forgotten on her other arm.
It was easy to understand. She had never received any attention from a boy, especially the level of obsession that Edward gave her. Oh sure, Mike and Tyler and the pre-K gang used to drape themselves around Bella's every move but that was just because Bella was pretty and smart and too nice to tell them to get lost.
And it was adorable at worst the way Edward completely morphed from an annoying prick to a sweet attentive gentleman for Bella.
But it was driving me insane. I needed a little Bella time too. Especially right now. It was going to be the biggest day of my life. The launch of Cullenista on a retail market level was huge. I was history in the making—only twelve years old. And there she was, the one person who should be jumping up and down with me, sitting staring at him again.
The boys had all shown up together and were bitching tirelessly about having to wear the tuxedos I designed for them. Well, my two cousins were. Jake, my big brother, just looked unimpressed with the choice—he thought mine and Bella's outfits were much more fashion forward. And Emmett was just the typical metro when it came to dressy clothes so he was in seventh heaven. Jazz tried to keep the complaints down to being uncomfortable with the attention.
But the big fat crybaby was belly aching like there was no end.
"Bella can't save you from this one!" I hollered over the divider between where we stood and where they were changing. Bella blushed at my words. Edward peeked around the screen with that damn exasperating crooked smile on his oh so handsome face.
"But wouldn't it be fun to see her try." He winked at my already addle witted friend. She giggled behind me while my scowl grew in ferocity. Edward threw up his arms and disappeared.
"She's such a fucking terrifying little monster, Jazz." I could hear him saying. "I don't know what you find so damn intriguing." My own crush leaned his head around the corner. It was my turn to have my intelligence leak out of my ear.
He winked at me before returning to the manly fashion make over.
"Because, she's my fucking terrifying little monster," he said. The smile in his voice made my knees go all mushy which was not good because I was wearing a pair of my new baby kitty heels. Jazz came in to view before I could steady myself. He marched his devastatingly gorgeous form straight to me. He wore the same crooked smile but it wasn't as bastardly wicked on him as it was on Edward. He wrapped me in his arms and trapped me in the buttery trance of his golden hazel eyes. "That's why."
W-O-W. He kissed the tip of my nose and I was suddenly not only forgetting my nerves about today but floating in a haze of peace. I wondered idly if other people were as affected by Jazz's positive vibes as I was. He just had a way of calming down the raging OCD driven freak in me.
"We have to get started back here," my voice was shaky with some swirl of hormones that I was only recently aware I could tap into.
"You guys go out front and start seating the guests."
Jazz nodded. He was such a good boy.
"When do we get to change back?" Edward was still bitching as he emerged from the staging area. I glared at him, fully intending to make some smartass remark about pumpkins and midnight. But instead I had to catch my breath along with the very audible gasp that came from Bella's mouth behind me.
You couldn't deny that the boy was painfully beautiful.
Unlike Jake and Em who were broad and strong, Edward was just solid. And unlike Jazz who was taller than Bella but more stocky than tall, Edward towered over most people around him. He was lean in the suit. It was tailored to hug every long inch of him, but you could tell that he wasn't some waif under the thick layer of midnight black material. The ice blue, almost silver tie that I had designed for him made his pale cheek bones practically cut you with their sharp edges. And it was a perfect contrast to his deep rich milk chocolate eyes. It was brutal to look at him, like I said painfully beautiful.
I couldn't imagine what torture Bella's eyes were suffering while he stood there tugging at his tie. He scowled as his Pierre Original hair style kept falling into his eyes. He muttered something under his breath that sounded like "sissy-ass hairstylist," but stopped talking all together when he finally noticed Bella.
She was wearing the outfit that I had made exclusively for her. I refused to put the pale blue dress in my line because it was meant to only be worn by Bella. I called it A Kiss at Twilight. The dress was made from tiers of gossamer thin chiffon in shades of blue. The outer layer was the lightest shade—almost white in the absence of intensity of the color. The longest layer, the one that kissed Bella's thighs in a gentle drape, was a deep almost midnight blue. It made a cascading effect—like a waterfall caressing the entire length of Bella's slight form. The top was modest, as was my friend. The fabric gathered in a high waste just under her chest. The bodice was beaded with clear, iridescent crystals. The sleeves were just off of her shoulders to showcase her adorable collar bones and capped around the tops of her arms. She wore a single piece of jewelry. A heart shaped diamond necklace that Edward gave her two years ago for Christmas.
Actually, I had bought it and signed Edward's name to the card but in Bella's eyes it was a gift from Edward and was cherished as such.
With the exception of the other boys looking polished and Edward looking like some rake from a period harlequin, Bella was the most shocking transformation of them all. She wore her hair just off her shoulders in curls—just as I told her to. And she wore no make up but the cream of her cheeks was off set by the blush rising from her neck and ears. She fidgeted with the train of her dress while Edward stared with eyes unblinking. Blue was his favorite color. And Bella was his favorite person.
The combination must have been intoxicating.
I smirked. Jazz kissed my cheek as he ushered the guys out into the reception area. Edward was reluctant and Jazz planted his hands on his chest and shoved him out. He didn't speak but as he walked through the curtain I could see something in his eyes that made me even happier about his relationship with Bella than I was before. Bella was more than a friend to him—she was a girl, a member of the opposite sex. And he wanted very much to acknowledge that.
When I looked back at Bella and saw that tight sadness in the corners of her eyes.
I made a mental check list of the issues I still needed to address when it came to making that relationship work.
For one, Bella didn't see the potential for anything more than friendship with my cousin. She couldn't see the potential for everything she was and would be within herself.
Edward didn't follow behind Bella now out of some pity he had for her innocence, he was falling quickly in love with my almost sister and if Bella didn't pull herself together soon she would break his heart.
-**-Bookends-**-
BPOV
I helped Alice with her repetitions—be the winner… you will succeed… be the ball… Then I raced quickly back to my voyeuristic musings of my… boyfriend.
It was the most ridiculous notion. I, Isabella Swan, eleven year old, almost twelve, social deficient shut-in extraordinaire, was not only attached but to the most wonderful person in my world. I peeked out from the heavy silver curtain to watch Edward for the millionth time that morning.
He stood at the entrance with Em, Jake, and Jazz to help greet and seat the guests. They were four of the most dashing young men in the room. The other three looked very handsome but everyone here, professional models included, paled next to Edward.
He wore an exquisite black tuxedo with a bluish silver tie. His mop of reddish brown hair was thrown in to deliberate disarray. One strand continued to fall in to his eyes. He fidgeted with the impeccably sculpted jacket and tugged at his tie. He was gorgeous.
I sighed. I wished that I was wearing one of Alice's Pretty in Pink numbers. That would have been very appropriate. I felt a little like Andie—desperately hoping to go to the prom with Blane, dressed in his perfectly tailored tux, and knowing that I was destined to end up with Duckie.
I saw Mike Newton give Emmett a high five when he came in. Mike was wearing an eighties inspired button down top that was too loud for my eyes. Edward fidgeted again as Mike passed. He glared at the blond jock—mimicking my sentiments that the shirt needed to be released in to the wild.
He followed Mike with his eyes as he rushed toward the silver curtain with a purposeful look on his face. I realized too late, since I was ogling Edward and not thinking, that he was making a beeline back here to find me. Edward's eyes grew strained as he suddenly shot a glance directly at me. I dropped the curtain and prayed that he hadn't caught me staring at him—again.
I could hear Mike arguing with the security guard. I slipped behind the racks of designer clothes in hopes that no one would find me. I had way too much to think about. It had been two months—two glorious and quietly perfect months.
We never really talked about the whys or the hows but from the moment I woke up in his arms at my dad's house I was enveloped in an amazing little Edward bubble of happiness. Like the unspoken acceptance of him sending me that apple in the mail three years ago, every move that Edward made around me now had a meaning. I was not capable of fully understanding what that meaning could be. No one had ever just given me attention the way he was lately. But I liked it.
It was easy to be with Edward. We picked up the old routine with ease. We'd sit for hours without having to talk to each other. But now we sat close enough to touch—sometimes he would pull me on to his lap just to have me closer. And though we didn't need to talk, we somehow always had something that we wanted to say.
I approached the relationship with my usual guarded responses. Losing Edward's attention wouldn't be the end of my world, but if I let my guard down and gave my trust to Edward and he broke it I didn't think I could live through that. I had enough people in my life who didn't want to earn my loyalty, I didn't give Edward the option to become the next one.
So he worked twice as hard to just pretend. He acted like he didn't notice when I purposely chose to sit across the table instead of next to him when he came over for dinner. He'd just get up and move once I sat down. He turned a blind eye when I hid my writing from his eager appraisal but made sure that I all but helped him create his pieces of art every afternoon in our tree house.
I never told him the important things like what I wanted to go to college for or what I dreamed about when I was young. But he told me about his aspirations to study abroad. He wanted to go to the east coast and study music. He wanted to compose symphonies for philharmonics from all over the US. And when he was sharing his dreams with me with such reckless abandon, he ignored the fact that I never offered him any comments on where I should be in that future.
Then there were those days when he would give so much of himself to me that I felt sickened by my inability to share even a little bit of myself. Like when my mom would have to work late and I cooked dinner for he and myself. Edward hated the idea of me ever being alone. On those nights he would sit at my kitchen table, watching me with an intensity that made me blush. I would assure him that I was fine alone and then he would launch into a two hour discussion of the nights when he and Jazz were left alone.
There were the times when we would be sitting in his room and I would catch a glimpse of one of his many scars and he would openly tell me the tale of how he came to receive it. And though I was increasingly growing to adore the personal bond that Edward fostered by trusting me, and having to deal with the rising hatred I had for his parents, I grew more and more anguished by my stupid silence.
It was insane. It felt like the most natural thing to have Edward with me. Every joke I thought of I would whisper to him. When I went to bed at night it was just shortly after saying goodnight to him on my phone. And the first thing I wanted to do when I woke up in the morning was talk to Edward.
But I never said anything to him.
In my defense what could I honestly say to him? Edward might have been totally cool with telling me about his father beating him but what could I relate to that. My father just ignored me. I thought that my pain was trivial next to Alice's experiences but Edward had had to grow up fast, defend his mother, survive torture and practically raise his little brother. Petty didn't come close to summing up my issues compared to Edward's hell. The only reason Edward was in my life right now was because his mother had neglected him to the point that authorities had to relocate him. My father bought me top of the line computers and other equipment for me to use in school. Where was my argument there? 'Oh but the money means nothing because it's just a stand in for all the times he never picked up the phone and told me he loved me.'
How could I look Edward in the eye and say that.
The really crazy thing was my issues seemed to be what drove Edward. He was like some self appointed protector. Whenever Em would bring up Charlie or Alice would talk about my lack of communication this summer Edward would automatically shield me from having to deal with it. He would change the subject. He would drag me from the room and engage me in a challenging game of chess. Or he would just hold my hand and give it a squeeze when he noticed it was bothering me.
It was just so sweet. It was just so damn confusing. And it was just so impossible for me not to feel like a selfish bitch for taking without giving him anything in return.
I was trying to hide without ruining my dress and losing myself in my newly minted Edward issues that were tangled up in my daddy issues when I heard Mike calling my name.
Damn it. I had to admit that Mike was my oldest friend. I'd known him since I was a baby. Our families shared backyard barbeques every Fourth of July. And he had always been there as a good buddy even once Alice moved to town and trumped him for the coveted best friend spot. But the closer I got to young adulthood, the more I came to despise my relationship with Mike Newton.
"Bella! There you are." Mike rounded the rack huffing and puffing like he had searched every last inch of the gym before he found me. I stood completely still and didn't speak. I think I was hoping that he would be a like a t-rex and I would disappear from his attention if I just didn't move.
"Mike!" I suppressed the internal groan. Tyler was here too. Great. The pre-K gang was together again.
"Over here man," Mike shouted. "She's hiding out since she's dressed like a princess." Mike winked at me. There was a time when that might have made me smile, maybe even laugh. But nowadays the casual familiarity that Mike forced on our relationship just turned my stomach.
Maybe it was because he made a point of doing it in front of Edward. And maybe it was because I could see that when Mike talked about the dreams of my youth, though Edward never mentioned it to me, I could see that it bothered him to not be in on the secret.
"There you are girlie." Tyler appeared next to Mike. I couldn't hide anymore.
"Hey guys." I waved an awkward hand in the air and stood up. No use hoping they would go away.
"Wow," Mike said.
"Yah," Tyler offered. I squirmed under their scrutiny. It wasn't like when Edward stared at me earlier. Then I was nervous because I didn't know how to handle the intense rush of… what?... want… need… desire that I felt when I saw the hunger in his eyes. I liked seeing Edward look at me that way.
I didn't like having the guys look at me this way. I felt like some piece of meat that they were drooling over at the butcher's.
"So," Mike said leaning against the wall that hadn't been thick enough to conceal my presence. "I hear you're taking high school level courses this year."
I rolled my eyes.
"Yah, Mike, you know I can't stand kids our own age." I forced a smile. I had really hoped to not get any notice for my course schedule that started in two weeks. I was too young to just jump into high school, according to my counselor and my mother, but I was too bored in classes that fit my age. So I was taking my science, math, and English courses at the high school. It worked out perfectly. I went to Jr. High in the morning, had lunch at the high school and finished out the day with my upper level classes.
The only draw back was that I didn't have any friends who were in high school, other than the boys Em, Jake, Jazz and Edward. But as a social loner that hadn't bothered me when I made my schedule in early June. Now, I had a freshman boyfriend who would be the biggest distraction.
"You still planning to have Masen in the posse?"
Tyler was such an idiot. He didn't look at me quite the same way Mike did. I was more Tyler's ultimate back up plan. If I don't have a partner—Bella will be available. If I didn't get a date for the prom—Bella won't have one either she can go with me. It was funny because if I wasn't the most docile person in Tyler's life, he'd probably just hit me with his van because he'd never notice me.
"No," I said practically laughing when they both straightened up at the omission. I finished quickly, squashing their hopes before they started making Friday night plans again.
"I plan on Edward being the posse."
Wow, I never thought I'd have to break up with my friends. But they were too aggressive in the assault on mine and Edward's relationship this last month. I had to break it now before anymore got hurt.
"Oh," Mike said.
"Okay," Tyler offered.
They turned in tandem and fled the staging area with slouched shoulders.
Why was I surrounded by such drama-driven guys?
Alice finally released me from my back stage duties and sent me out in to the audience to show off her couture. I wished her good luck and fled the clothing filled room before she changed her mind. I
found my mom and brother easily. Mom had to come straight from work—she was the chief of police in Forks. So she was wearing her uniform and apologizing early for the almost inevitable tirade Alice would unleash over the fashion faux pas. Em was on the other side of mom with his long arm stretched over the back of Jake's chair. Dr. Cullen sat on the other side of Jake and Edward was on the end. We had everyone we cared about shoved between us. We were a mile apart and yet when he turned his head and smiled at me I felt like we were the only two people in the room and he was holding my hand with quiet assurance.
The show began with Alice's mentor and tutor Laurent St. James' introduction. St. James' Classicique was supposed to be some very well known clothing company in Europe. He specialized in period looking clothing—almost ancient in their construction. Alice had a flare for the romantics in her designs as well so Laurent had nourished that flare and coached her into the spotlight. He was very proud of her work and open to lavishing praise on Alice whenever in public.
I didn't know what I thought about him. I never felt like I knew the whole story of Mr. St. James when I was talking to him. And his protégé, Victoria, often glared daggers at my pixie best friend. She had been under Laurent's tutelage for years and had never broken into the business the way Alice did immediately.
Once the show began, A Late Summer's Night Dream themed, I was swept away in Alice's vision. Edward had helped design and paint the sets. He and Jazz had arranged the music. And Jake had set up the lighting and smoke effects. It was provocative, mesmerizing and impossibly beautiful.
Alice was a true genius. At the end she walked with Laurent and her head model, Jessica, to the end of the runway—where we were seated. She gave the boys all high fives and Dr. Cullen a bone crushing hug. Then she grabbed my hand on her way back and forced me to walk the cat walk with her.
It was terribly embarrassing and I had to fight with that Jessica girl for enough space to not trip on my face. But as I took in the massive grin on Alice's face, I knew I would take that walk a thousand more times if it meant she would be happy like that.
I blushed at the obnoxious hoots and whistles from the four idiot boys that I'd just been seated next to. I tried to block them out—well, I tried to block three of them out. When I rounded the corner to exit the stage I shot a glance at Edward. He had a big goofy grin on his face that made me weak in the knees. He was standing on his chair whistling like he didn't care if anyone around him thought he was insane—like we were the only two people in the room.