Bookends By: Bella's Executioner.

Rating: M- this means if you're under 16 you are agreeing to break your own ToS by reading this and I'm not your mother so be responsible for yourself.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner.

A/N: Bookends is the very first fanfiction I started writing. It's been on this site, moved and come back. It has errors, fuck ups and lots of proofs that I'm human but it also has all of my heart and soul in it. I welcome you into this world of pain and love and hope that you enjoy. I also welcome your thoughts as you read—pm me or review and I'll be happy to discuss the story with you.

Chapter 6: Mud

-**-Bookends-**-

EPOV

I glared down the end of my baseball cap.

Was he fucking kidding me?

Carlisle knew that sports were not in my arsenal of tricks. Jazz was leading away from second base to taunt Jake to get distracted so he could steal third. I rolled my eyes. That was the only fucking way he was going to get off second with me up to bat.

From the corner of my eye I could see Bella cringing at the thought of having to catch a ball to tag me out at first. I thought it was infinitely endearing that she thought I had enough talent to actually hit the ball.

Hadn't she been paying attention for the last nine innings of this fucking embarrassing game?

Jake shook his head as he turned down the signals that Tyler was sending him from behind the plate.

Just fucking throw it already. You don't have to try to strike me out.

He finally settled on whichever pitch would be my downfall and snapped back his arm to release his attack. I closed my eyes and swung. It was a Bella technique. Surprisingly enough, it worked.

I felt the bat connect with the ball just as I heard the thwack split the silence. Jazz was a blur already rounding third when my mind told me to run. The ball landed between Emmett and Newton in the outfield. I might not have hand-eye coordination down but I was fast.

I streaked to first base only vaguely aware of the delicate feminine form waiting to block me. The ball was sailing in and forcing Bella to turn her attention away from me. I tried to slow down. I heard Jazz score a run and Carlisle hoot for us taking the lead. Then my mind finally processed the distance to time to stop ratio. I was going to collide right into my girlfriend.

Bella tried to catch the ball but ended up juggling it like a hot potato. When she finally seized it between both hands, she was not on the base. She turned to catch me as I plowed toward first and her eyes grew wide as I tried to slow down.

We landed with a thud and she dropped the ball. I heard the air rush out of her lungs and I huffed as her bent knee crunched into my groin.

I wanted to jump up and apologize. I needed to give her body a once over to make sure she wasn't hurt. I should've crawled into a dark cave and hide from the ridicule that was coming from the guys. But I couldn't make my body do anything but laugh.

I pulled my head back far enough to look into her eyes. Bella was over come with fits of giggles and as always her laugh was making my head fuzzy. I laughed with her as her eyes began to water. Neither of us moved to get up. I could hear Jazz laughing his butt off in the dugout. Carlisle was shouting something about unsportsmanlike conduct. And I could hear Emmett issuing a threat of bodily harm for manhandling his sister. That one I took seriously and jumped to my feet pulling Bella up with me.

Me playing baseball in Carlisle's big backyard the night before I was to start a whole new life was just ludicrous to believe even now.

After the first week of settling in and Alice running all over Port Angeles and online outlets to dress Jazz and I like we were her life size ken dolls, it started to sink in. That sensation of stability. I had felt it only once before.

When Jazz and I came to live with Carlisle five years ago I had almost felt like I was living a normal life. Back then it was just a quiet place where dad was dead and gone, mom was finally behind bars and Uncle C was giving us a place to stay and food to eat. But just like all things that were clean and good in my life, Tanya found a way to ruin it. She got out and claimed she was clean. Carlisle sent us home and the world spun upside down again.

This time I was more than hopeful. This time I didn't just have a place to stay.

I had a family.

I had a home.

I was starting high school.

And I had Bella.

That last thing seemed to be some iron cable that made everything else settle into place. Tanya was in for five to ten with a shot at parole in three. Three years from now I would be almost eighteen. She couldn't fuck with me then. It was an immediate release when Carlisle told me that- like I could finally breathe after holding my breath under water for most of my life.

-**-Bookends-**-

I was standing there watching the fireworks, and wondering why people were always so impressed with shit that explodes.

Bella was leaning her head on my shoulder. She watched the fireworks in awe. Shit like that made her smile. Maybe there was something to blowing crap up after all.

I held her hand with the same persistence that I always reserved just for her. Her fingers danced with mine like we were playing keys on a piano.

I peeked at her face again. She was totally mesmerized by the sparkling lights in the sky, completely unaware of her involuntary PDA.

Finally.

I'd spent almost two months getting Bella okay with even talking to me around other people without becoming so embarrassed that she just blushed and hid her face. It wasn't fucking easy. I didn't like public displays either. But when I was around her... everyone else just faded away.

It was stupid, like I was maturing all in one shot or something, but when I decided to be a friend to Bella, I hadn't realized what that really meant. Now as I sniffed her heather scented hair I started to understand. It made me smile.

I rested my cheek on the top of her head, nudging her out of her trance. She stiffened as she became aware of our casual stance and stepped away. Unlike every other damn time she had done this since I got here, I didn't tolerate that. Bella was turning twelve today. I was finally living someplace that made me happy. We were both starting high school tomorrow. It was empowering to the say the least. I wanted to force her to enjoy it. To revel alongside of me.

To trust this.

She was stiff as a board next to me. I tried to help relax her. I wrapped my arm around her little shoulders, real fucking causal like. But she just kept searching the space around us like a fucking mob was going to show up with pitchforks.

I rolled my eyes and took a step away from her, just like I had all summer.

She relaxed.

Weirdo.

I was suddenly tired of being around so many people. The fireworks were for Bella, but she just kept staring at the dark path that led to our secret tree house.

I grabbed her hand and dragged her away from the crowd.

The closer we got to our sanctuary, the more she turned back into my Bella. She stopped looking around to see if anyone was watching. I rolled my eyes. I used to think I had issues. I never imagined that Bella was more fucked up than me.

She just seemed so normal before. But I had never gone to Victoria before. She'd never mentioned how much it hurt her to be around that dick of a father before.

And I wasn't a fourteen year prick with raging hormones before.

That was the biggest change that I had to adjust to. Bella was mature for her age in more ways than her social skills. She was… endowed. And any guy could appreciate how fucking sweet she looked. But I promised not be just any guy for Bella—I wanted to be her guy. And that required locking the motherfucker up in my head so I could stop staring at her chest like I had never seen nice tits before.

That wasn't fair. Bella wasn't a girl you thought about that way. She was pure and innocent and her… breasts… were not just objects that you thought about while in the shower.

And lest we forget pervert, she's only fucking twelve years old!

God, I needed therapy over this girl.

No. I needed therapy because I lived in a house with Tanya, the fuck a stump for a dollar whore. Sex and the objects of the body that were directly linked to sex were such desensitized topics in the Masen household that I was terrified of the day Bella actually wanted to try anything with me.

FUCK! Stop thinking about it!

I was shaking my head when we reached the ladder. Bella's eyes were wide as she watched me. That look of 'he's fucking crazy' was in her eyes again. She smirked when I shrugged.

I let her go up first. I'd like to be gentleman enough to claim it was for any other reason than so I could stare at her ass, but who would I be kidding.

The girl was very well endowed.

I tapped the pocket of my jacket to make sure her present hadn't fallen out. I took a couple of deep breaths and followed her up. She was sitting on the Cullen side of the tree, watching the end of the fireworks display. Leave it to Carlisle to know a guy who knew a guy who could put on a twenty minute fireworks show just for Bella's birthday.

You had to fucking love Carlisle.

I sat down next to her, our legs touching. She wasn't uncomfortable with touching when we were alone. I shook my head again. Heaven help me when Bella was legal.

"I got a letter in the mail from Renee today," she said, eyes sparkling with the golden lights in the sky. "My cousin is getting married at Christmas and Em and I are invited."

She looked over at me. "The wedding is in Los Angeles...you wanna come?" Her eyebrows rose with the question. She was so fucking cute when she looked at me that way. She was fucking cute when she looked anyway. I nodded, lost in her eyes. I was so fucking whipped and we weren't even legitimately dating.

"Wait," I said confused. "Was I invited?"

She laughed. I got that goofy ass grin on again.

"We're allowed to bring a guest. Besides, mom can't leave work so I'm sure she'd be cool with me getting an older gentleman to escort me." She winked. I think I actually hee-yucked.

Fucking marshmallow mind.

"Em's bringing Jake along so they can golf, or play some sort of sports. Or some shit…" She turned back to the fireworks and I laughed out loud. No matter how hard I tried to be a bad influence on her it wasn't sticking. Bella tried to pick up my cussing, but it was just comical coming out her mouth.

She stuck out her tongue.

"Well," I snickered, "I suppose we can do some shit too." My turn to wink. We laughed together.

The show ended with a profusion of red, green and golden explosions. The crowd cheered. I could hear Em and Jake whistling. Those two were like the damn hardy boys—like Bella and me, never apart.

It was suddenly really fucking quiet in the darkness.

I leaned over and turned on the boom box. Bella's mixed CD of eighties metal bands was actually soothing for the two of us. Funny, on any other two teenagers this moment would look weird, it just suited us.

"So..." I was starting to have a stage five panic attack as I tried to find the right way to offer her my gift.

"What'd you get today?" Lame. My mouth was dry and my hands were almost as sweaty as my pits.

"Stuff," she said shrugging her little shoulders. "My dad, well Renee, sent me a cool case for my phone and some rollerblades."

I cocked my eyebrow at that. Bella wasn't coordinated enough for inline skates. She nodded in agreement with my look.

"I think she wants us to be in a roller-gang next summer. I will proceed to sell them on EBAY next week."

I laughed. God, Bella always made me laugh. How did I survive all that shit before I had her big green eyes to distract me… right, I had her letters. I put my hands in my pockets.

Now or never.

"Umm..." I cleared my throat. "I kinda got you something… it's no big… if you don't want it… Fuck."

I shoved the box in her hand and cast my eyes in the opposite direction. I was sure my heart was going to fucking gallop down the street.

"Really?" she whispered. She was silent after that. I could hear her pulling the ribbon open—it was a light sage green color, to match her eyes. Then I held my breath as I heard the lid lift and the air slip inside the box.

"Edward," she breathed. I turned to see her face.

Everything stopped.

Bella's face was glowing, her cheeks rosy. Her mouth was in a little surprised 'o' and her eyes were dancing with joy.

"Do you like it?" I whispered.

Those joyful eyes met mine and I went right pass goofy and straight into totally fucked. I tried to swallow against the hard knot in my throat. My breathing was deeper now for a whole other fucking reason. I could feel parts of my body waking up for the first time.

We sat there, kind of in a trance or some shit, for a long moment. I was drowning in her eyes.

"I love it," she mouthed. Maybe there was sound behind the words. I was lost in the luscious shape of her lips—too fucking far gone to be able to hear anything, other than the sound of my heart.

I wanted to ask her more about what she liked. I wanted to say anything. And I also really wanted to get the fuck out of the room—too chicken shit to follow through with what I really wanted to do.

Somehow I leaned in closer to her. I gave up on trying to look at anything but her lips. They were red and full and they were slightly parted. My mind was mush when I saw her little tongue dart out and lick them.

Fuck!

I wanted to be that tongue. Bella's breath seemed to be coming as fast as mine through those mesmerizing lips.

I felt my body going hard all over when she took her bottom lip between her teeth. It wasn't my first hard-on but it was my first one related to Bella. Some part of my mind knew how totally fucking wrong it was to think of her that way. But the majority of my mind belonged to a fourteen year old guy. The raging fucking hormones told me to think about it more. I kind of half whimpered half groaned as my body kept leaning slowly closer to her.

She sat perfectly still. It felt like there was no sound or air in the space around us.

I felt like I was drawn to Bella's mouth because she was my only hope of survival. Maybe she had some air reserved in her little lungs that she could share with me. I thought about her lungs, in her chest, and my dick twitched as I remembered she had a nice fucking rack.

That thought disgusted me. My girlfriend wasn't some piece of meat. But then the hormones in my mind found possibilities in fucking a piece of meat too.

Totally fucked.

My breaths were hard and shaky as I inched closer to her face.

In a moment of panic I flashed my eyes to hers. I suddenly realized that maybe Bella didn't feel the same way. I wouldn't force her to kiss me if she was repulsed by the idea. And yet, I couldn't stop. I practically pleaded with my eyes for her to just let me do it this once.

I didn't have to beg.

Bella's eyes were warm and inviting. Her face was flushed—so fucking cute. And I could tell her breaths were as labored as mine. I took that as a 'yes' and moved in closer. When our faces were close enough that our breaths mingled in the air and I couldn't really look Bella in the eye directly anymore my brain went dead.

So completely fucked.

I was going to have wet dreams about this moment for a very fucking long time.

Then I was frozen in place. Her breath was sweet on my face. The moment was so goddamn perfect. So innocent. So pure. So right. But I couldn't force the hormonal asshole in me to continue. I was panicking in the back of my mind. My pants were ready to burst with the fucking anticipation and I think I actually heard Bella whimper while she waited.

Fuck.

But I didn't have to wait for long. My girlfriend didn't wait around for motherfuckers to open doors for her. She was a hands on kind of girl.

Bella leaned in minutely and our lips touched.

The whole fucking universe stopped.

My mind had to restart. My heart jumped and missed a beat. My lungs were dormant. I was drowning in Bella and all we were doing was touching smooth closed lips.

I think I lived an eternity in that moment. When my mind started working again and my lungs started gasping for air I made to pull away. I was going to suffocate if I didn't.

It was my first kiss. I knew it was Bella's too. I didn't know how to handle it. What else was appropriate for us to do? How far it was okay to explore? I pulled away far enough to take a deep breath and collect these thoughts together before proceeding.

Bella didn't give a fuck. She followed me and the force of her attack sent me on to my back with her on top of me. Her lips were crushed on mine and her little arms were snaked around my neck.

I was still mid breath so my mouth was open when hers came back. She sucked my top lip in between hers and that forced her sinful bottom lip in to my mouth.

Bella's knee innocently rubbed against my throbbing crotch as she deepened the kiss and I groaned all deep and fucking sexy. My hands grabbed her hips to keep her from a repeat performance before I did something really fucking stupid.

I was gone again as my teeth nipped at her lip and I sucked the skin between my lips. It was her turn to groan...really fucking sexy.

My dick twitched again.

Fuck.

I was starting to come back to myself through the layers of hormonal psychosis. I didn't know what we were doing but it felt a little too damn real for me to deal with. I didn't want to hurt Bella. I didn't want to take this shit too far. I planted a hard kiss against her lips and pulled back.

Bella's eyes were all hooded and lusty and I knew mine were probably three shades past that. I could feel her nipples poking against my chest and I focused on the mud in the corner of the roof.

MUD.

Not how good she felt in my arms.

MUD.

Not that she probably wouldn't protest if I pushed us a little further.

MUD.

My breathing was returning to normal.

MUD.

Bella was slowing her breaths down too.

MUD.

I looked back at her again.

Fuck she was so young, how could I ever imagine to go there… MUD.

"Thanks, again," she whispered. She kissed my cheek.

MUD.

I nodded in response, closing my eyes against the torture.

MUD.

"Best birthday ever," she said smiling down at me.

MUD.

She pulled the necklace out of the box and put it on. It was a little weird, I guess. I knew a guy on the res in La Push who could carve just about anything out of stone. I picked out the bronze stone with the golden highlights to match my hair and eyes. Then I sketched the apple with the flames inside—a marriage of the first and last postcards that I'd sent her. He made an exact replica in less than a week.

She fingered the stone in the space between us.

"Only the best for my Bella," I said. She smiled.

MUD.

We lay there for the rest of the night. Just talking and staring and me thinking about mud. It was nice. It was confusing and it was motherfucking memorable.