Haha, yay! First review! Thank you secretpenname3, when I woke up this morning, I was immediately inspired to finish off the third one-shot I had started, and then given up on late last night because I couldn't pull it together! It was just…I wanted to make something that was fall of your chair and sob because it was so sad (Just because when it come to Ichigo and Rukia, my default is happy – but for once…I wanted the ending to be truly dismal)

Well, thanks to secretpenname3 – here's another update, earlier than I had intended to post. Warning! This chapter is a bit heavy, but I promise that the next few will be happy endings! I just had to get one like this off my chest. It's a little shorter than the others, but there really wasn't a lot I could stuff into it...Oh, and excuse the grammar/spelling errors, and just tell me about them. When I rearrange the chapters, I can fix them! Yay!

Anywho, hope you like it!

Read and Review please!

I still don't own Bleach. Anybody wanna lend it to me? Seriously…whites can only get so yellow before you have to pass them off as a different colour.

Is there a God tonight?
Up in the sky or is it empty just like me
A place where we can hide out from the night
Where you are all I see
So blow a kiss goodbye, close your eyes
Tell me what you see
A life that's set inside this dream of mine
Where you are all I see

Life Less Frightening

Begin Chapter Three:

"Ichigo! Ichigo, stop it!"

He couldn't stop. Why would he want to stop? If he stopped then that would be admitting that it was over – that everything that he had done meant nothing – and the one person that he had sworn that he would protect was dead and gone.

If he stopped…then he was a failure.

"She's dead! Just leave her!"

"Shut up Uryuu!" He almost spun around and ripped his face off – why wouldn't shut up? Couldn't he see that he had to do this? He couldn't give up on her now, if he did-

Dammit!

His fingers slipped again – the rain was making it hard for his hands to stay centered on her chest. His mind kept counting, even while he wasn't doing compressing on her chest – keeping her heart beating while she didn't have the state of mind to do it herself.

One and two and one and two and one and two and one and two and one and two and one and two and one and two-

Warm hands – contrasting the cold skin that was beneath his fingers – encircled around his wrists and yanked him back – to fast and too hard for him to stop it. He skidded back a few feet – it took a few seconds for his head to clear – before he realized what Uryuu had done.

"You bastard!"

His fist buried itself into the dark-haired boys face –breaking his nose and sending a wave of blood onto his lips. The rain mixed with the blood – making it look like there was more blood than there already was. Forgetting about his anger for the moment, Ichigo kneeled beside her again and began to work her again – a little faster than before, the friction between the bloody cloth of hers and his sweaty hands creating a false sense of warmth from her chest.

"She's dead, Ichigo."

No! He refused to believe it – there was no way that Rukia could be dead. Not like this – not in such a bloody, horrible way.

"Ichigo…"

He tried to block Uryuu out – he only wanted to think about Rukia – he only wanted to hear her voice – calling him an idiot, teasing him for his hair colour. He could practically hear her voice now –what she would sound like when she woke up.

"Damn Ichigo, you didn't have to work so hard! I think you broke my rib!"

And then she would hit him, and they would continue on their mission and when they defeated Aizen, they would go back home and be welcomed by his stupid dad and they would life together like he had before her family was killed, and everything would be okay.

God…everything had to be okay.

What would he do without her? How long before the madness in the back of his head came back? Then it would be back again - and Ichigo might not be able to stop himself from giving in - now that Rukia was gone...there was no reason for him to not be a killing, murderous monster - the sly voice would get into him and convince him that-

"Ichigo."

He wanted Uryuu to shut up - he was too busy trying to deal with all the emotions that were circling around in his gut right now - was that bile in the back of his mouth? It tasted God-awful - he looked down again, and his heart was ripped out of his chest - thrown against the muddy ground. Her eyes were glassy and flat - those cobalt orbs that glittered...well, they weren't glittering anymore. He watched his own hand, sopping with blood - not his own- reach out and force her lids down; she had to stop staring at him, he had to stop her from looking dead. With her eyes closed, she could just be asleep.

Sleeping. Yes - she was sleeping, that was it - and she was fine and everything was going to be fine.

"Ichigo."

"Shut up, Uryuu." his voice wasn't as dangerous and spiteful as it had been before - because before Rukia was dead, and now she was asleep. He was fine. Everything was fine.

"What?" Uryuu was lying on the ground, his fingers clutching his broken nose, "I didn't say anything."

Ichigo wondered what that meant...of course he said something - he heard it. Who else could it have been?

"You're losing it, Ichigo."

There it was again but...he was looking at Uryuu...he hadn't said anything. His hand brushed against Rukia's skin - and flinched away. She was cold. And turning a little blue - panic rose in his chest, before he remembered that everything was okay and she was fine.

"Saying fine so many times doesn't mean it really is fine."

What was that? It wasn't Uryuu, he was cursing to himself, and looking a little nauseous. Where was that sound coming from. Instinctively, he grabbed Rukia's hand for comfort - it was limp, cold and stiff. But that was just fine.

"Idiot, she's dead. Stop pawing at a corpse."

She wasn't dead! Why was everyone saying that? He knew he was right - because she couldn't be dead. If Rukia was dead, then he had failed and everything was for nothing. If she was dead...he didn't want to be alive.

"Face it...look at her...do the sleeping feel so sickly? You feel her skin...she's cold and limp as a fish. Come on, Ichigo. Wake up and smell the rotting."

No! He increased the pressure on her hand - maybe the pain would wake her up, maybe she would yell at him for breaking her hand - maybe-maybe-maybe-maybe-maybe-

Her bones broke - a few of her fingers bent the wrong way, but she didn't move - she didn't stir, and Ichigo felt a darkness coming around him - swallowing him into a pit of madness. He could be screaming - he could be sobbing, but all he really knew was that she wasn't breathing and his soul was on fire. It hurt...so damn much - everything was getting hotter, was it still black? It felt like it should be red - the colour of pain - the colour of blood. What did he care, anyway? Everything that he was fell away the moment his vision went to black, and he couldn't see her anymore. All he wanted was Rukia. Nothing else. But, God, the pain...the fire...

"I can take it away. All that pain - that agony. Just let me out, what'ya say? You won't feel it - I can carve you out...you'll never feel again...you'll just be..." it licked it's lips "Hollow."

Rukia had told him to never give in - to never let that side of him take him over. How could he betray her by letting that monster come out again? Ah - another lick of fire ran down his chest - like there were nails scraping across his skin. It was making good on it's offer...to carve him out...

"She's dead, Ichigo. Dead because you failed her. You betrayed her first...she wouldn't care if you did the same. Because good, darling Rukia would always forgive you, right? Even if you are the one that killed her."

"I didn't kill her!" His voice was lost in the vast darkness - he could yell, scream as loud as he wanted - but he still felt small compared to the space around him. But he didn't...didn't, couldn't, wouldn't...never...

"Oh, that's right. It was that bastard Aizen, right? Gutted her and then laughed, remember? It sounded like this" - and the voice laughed like that bastard traitor had laughed, and it sent Ichigo spiraling downwards, faster than he had fallen before. He was brought back to the moment that Rukia had been killed - impaled to the hilt. Her eyes - he remembered them; she had looked at him, the last thing that she had seen was his face - his eyes wide with horror. It was right. He had killed her - ended her life without a care - like a real monster. "Yes," it continued, "I'm not the monster here. But, you're so weak Ichigo...how could you ever defeat the man who you let kill your darling?"

For a moment -Ichigo gasped - and he was back in reality, with Rukia's hand in his, and Uryuu leaning over him - yelling - asking if he was okay. And then, the shock wore off, and he was dragged back down into the depth of his black soul. Had it always been so rotten? Or...was it just the monster inside of him was getting stronger? Maybe he didn't mind. It was right, how could he kill Aizen? Without Rukia, he was useless - a pathetic, cowardly fool with no chance at anything. He couldn't even fight the madness without her.

"I could help you."

It didn't sound saintly. It didn't sound sincere. It's voice was screetchy - the sound of a monster brimming with anticipation, because it knew that it was going to get it's way - it knew that it was about to be freed. Ichigo knew it too, because he didn't want to be there anymore. The fire in his heart was too much - too strong, and what better way for him to get away than to just stop existing? He wouldn't have to feel anymore - he wouldn't have to remember anything - like her flat eyes, and the feeling of her delicate bones snapping like twigs in his grip.

God, he felt like throwing up.

Instead, he gave it all away. He just didn't care anymore. The fire was everywhere now, he just didn't want to feel anymore, and true to the monsters words, as he sank deeper, he didn't feel a single thing.

The last thing he heard was the monster in his head, cackling, and ensuring him that it would make everything better.

Uryuu was starting to worry - Ichigo had been staring off into space, looking catatonic for almost fifteen minutes now. His breathing was wet and sobby - like there were tears constantly threatening to take over. As hard as he tried, he couldn't get him to let go of Kuchiki's hand - his grip was so tight, that Uryuu could hear her broken bones grinding together as Ichigo's hands writhed.

"Ichigo! Wake up!"

What was he doing? Was he just going to give up and sit there? Could they leave the rest of their friends to fight? Uryuu wasn't sure that the others could handle themselves well enough to stay alive...and if Aizen got to them, there would be no hope. He had killed Kuchiki in a moment, faster than any of them could have reacted. If he had chosen to kill Ichigo, Uryuu was sure that he would be dealing with a catatonic Kuchiki instead. There was no way that they could win. No way that they could stop Aizen...even after they had chased him so far - followed him into the depths of hell to stop his reign of terror. The bastard had killed their families - raided their homes while they slept, stealing their children and setting fire to their towns.

Why was it that mad men always accumulated armies to march at his disposal? Uryuu was starting to lose hope in his people - if more and more were starting to think it was okay to be ruled by a bloody tyrant, then there was no hope left. He remembered his friends - banding together to stop him - Orihime had been the one to convince him that they could win - her confidence had shone into him and mad him strong, so he had picked up his bow and followed her into battle. He had truly believed that they could win...but, with what he just saw; Aizen moving so fast that nobody could move, he knew that Aizen couldn't be human.

"Damn it all!" They had led themselves to their slaughter.

Suddenly, Ichigo began to laugh - laughter that caused Uryuu's gut to go cold.

"Yes...yes..." Ichigo dropped Kuchiki's hand -and he held his hand in front of his face, admiring it. Then he turned to Uryuu, and Uryuu saw black and yellow eyes, blood-lust brewing behind them like confidence used to brew. He knew in that moment that Ichigo wasn't Ichigo anymore, and with the next words out of the things mouth, he also knew that it wouldn't be Aizen that slaughtered him.

"Damn everything to hell."

Later, it licked the blood on it's hands, while admiring the bodies that littered the ground around it- heads and skulls that had been picked clean. It sat, a king of the dead, watching over it's kingdom with bony, white hands and eyes of hollow madness - laughing to himself while feasting on his prize.

"See that Ichigo? I guess you were right. Everything will be fine."

End Chapter Three