Bookends By: Bella's Executioner.

Rating: M- this means if you're under 16 you are agreeing to break your own ToS by reading this and I'm not your mother so be responsible for yourself.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner.

A/N: Bookends is the very first fanfiction I started writing. It's been on this site, moved and come back. It has errors, fuck ups and lots of proofs that I'm human but it also has all of my heart and soul in it. I welcome you into this world of pain and love and hope that you enjoy. I also welcome your thoughts as you read—pm me or review and I'll be happy to discuss the story with you.

Chapter 14: Dangling Conversation

-**-Bookends-**-

BPOV (April 10th- the morning of Edward's audition.)

I straightened up from the toilet.

Fuck.

I hated throwing up. Vomit burned in my nostrils so much that my eyes were watering. Fuck. I leaned back against the cool porcelain of the tub.

Momentary relief. The cold was so nice against my internally heated skin.

Breathe in and out. Swallow. Breathe. In. And. Out.

My breath stank and I really wanted to rinse my mouth out but I was too fucking weak to stand up. I was going to do it again. It wasn't a maybe. It was a soon.

My nerves had been on edge all week- the last three days were just the grand fucking finale.

He was going to be all alone today- no not alone, Carlisle was with him. Carlisle and Jazz had flown out last week with him to Boston to prepare for the audition. Carlisle was making a big fucking show out of supporting Edward right now.

He was kind of my temporary fucking hero.

I wanted to compose my ode to Carlisle's greatness but my toes were coming out of my nose again.

Fuck.

I seized every inch of my body as the bile, which I didn't even know my body could produce in such abundance, purged from my guts.

Good god!

I groaned as I put my head between my knees. It was going to keep on fucking coming... It'd been like this for the past three mornings. I would wake up to the gripping in my guts and make it to the bathroom just fast enough to spew in to the toilet.

It was the most fucking disgusting activity in the world. Puking. Not only were you unable to fight the pain and the clenching and the flow of acidy liquid that could make grown men pass out from the stench- you had to do it on all fours with your face in a place where you usually put your ass... who the fuck thought of that!

The guy who had to rinse out the bowls back in the old days, idiot.

Oh, yah... FUCK!

The sounds that my body made were not just for dramatic effect. I felt like someone was yanking my intestines out with a cord attached to my throat.

I breathed deep when I was finally released. Only two more times... at least that had been the pattern before. Three days of get up... vomit six times... then feel almost human.

It was really fucking weird. Like it was something more than just nerves over Edward. Like it was something that I just couldn't begin to deal with right now. I unconsciously ran my hand over my stomach.

My muscles were so sore from the clenching. But then, everything had hurt down there for a while. I tried not to think of making love with Edward as painful. It was beautiful. But it had hurt.

This time the spasm was so fucking sudden that I threw up all over myself.

Fuck.

I was a pitiful fucking mess without him.

I half hiccupped and burped. Fucking disgusting. Then my stomach unclenched and I felt it- that moment of release. I felt like I could stand up without the fear of being completely fucking obliterated from the spasms.

I stood up and went to work cleaning the room and myself. Luckily it was spring break so I wasn't doing this at school. Fuck. School. More tedious days without him.

And luckily Em was at spring training for baseball while mom was burying herself at work. So, I was alone to deal with this. Unlike every other catastrophe in my life, I was okay with having no one right now. Something told me I didn't want to see the pity in their eyes when they saw me like this. Hunched on the bathroom floor with putrid vomit all over my clothes- such a fucking mess without him.

I leaned back in the shower and let the warm water relax my back. My lower back had ached every damn day since that night. The bruises had cleared up fast- which was good because mom would have held them over me like a lash that threatened to add more marks to my skin. She wanted to blame them on Edward.

I sighed.

I gave up talking to her at all these days. I had told her word for word what happened. About our fight. About the bike. About my own stupidity and the fact that Edward saved my life. But she gave me the silent treatment right back.

Bitch.

It had been four weeks. Jazz was now officially a Cullen. And Edward should be one too goddamn it! He promised that it wasn't my fault. Actually threw me a giant warm smile as he got in the Mercedes to catch his flight. But how could not be my fucking fault.

And how could I not feel guilty whenever I looked up at that tree house from my bedroom. I hadn't been able to go up there. Not since…

I sighed as I turned and started spreading the soap over my body. I tried not to look down at my breasts. I hated looking at myself naked. The human body had never really seemed all that beautiful to me. In fact some parts were down right freaky to see.

Toes. Toes always freaked me out- they still kind of did. But the one thing I had always thought I would find totally disgusting when I saw... I actually liked. And I couldn't stop picturing it in my head.

I rolled my eyes. I was practically sixteen years old. In some cultures that was considered an adult. But in my freaking sheltered little world I was handicapped with a mind of a two year old sometimes.

I had been terrified that I would giggle. It was the first one I had seen in person. The first… fuck I could say any word in the book thanks to Edward but my cheeks were blazing with even trying to think the word of that… his…

Big toe. I'll just call it his big toe- cause it kind of freaked me out too. I hadn't giggled. But I hadn't been able to really look at it for long either. It, the big toe, was kind of threatening to me... even though it was mesmerizing at the same time.

I wanted Edward so much in that moment. I had been terrified that he wouldn't feel the same- that like so many other times, he would push me away. I knew he loved me… but could I trust that I was sexy or pretty or someone he wanted to do all of that with. It was the most vulnerable moment of my life. And I could see all the shit playing across his face. He really fucking wanted to say no… I could tell.

But then he looked up at me.

And the look in his eyes when they skimmed the entire surface of my waiting naked body made me instantly wet and ready for him.

It all happened really fast. Meeting him up there. Finding out the truth. Declaring our love. And then my determination. My decision. I was going to give him everything. But I still wasn't completely ready.

The moment I released... the big toe... I was kind of in awe. I didn't have any basis for comparison but I was certain that Edward made other guys jealous. And it was kind of really scary shit to see it. Like kissing my innocence goodbye with the knowledge that I was going to let it claim my virginity. It stood there pointing at me and telling me that was it was exactly going to do.

It was just another fucked up Bella moment. I couldn't just relax and enjoy I had to analyze and think. So I figured being naked would keep me from talking myself out of it. I was also kind of hoping that my naked breasts would drop Edward's defenses. He had never really seen them naked before. He had seen them pretty damn close and he had drawn his own interpretations of what he believed they looked like. I was banking on how much he kind of went all fucking blank and goofy when I let him touch them. I was really hoping for that reaction over him screaming and running away.

But then I was naked and wet and his big toe was just sitting there waiting for me.

Is it possible to grow up all in one second? I think for some parts of you it is. I was really ready then. Really fucking ready. I knew it was stupid—unprotected and done for seemingly all the wrong reasons but I could not not go through with it.

And then he fucking looked up at me.

And I knew he was really ready too.

I don't know what every girl thinks the first time will be like. I had had Edward teasing that most sensitive part of me for months before that day. I knew what could be waiting for me just past the pain. I knew that it had to be even better than it was with his fingers inside of me. And I was right.

It did hurt. I did bleed. Edward had had to rush home and change because there was blood on his jeans. But he got me through it. And together we worked through the pain and were stronger for it. Found pleasure on the other side of it. In the end… lying next to him, spent and tingly, I felt changed.

I might have reverted backwards to shy scared little teenage Bella when he left but at that moment I was mature convicted adult Bella—and I was making him a promise that we could make it through anything together.

I didn't want to look at them but I glanced down at my breasts as I lathered them. They had hurt worse than my back since that day. Edward had not been overly rough with them. He really didn't have to be. It was like my body was super sensitive when he touched me. But damn they hurt now. They felt swollen and achy almost all of the time these days.

I considered it my penance. My silent constant fucking reminder that I had done something that the people around me would consider improper. Stupid. Wrong.

It wasn't wrong. But it was maybe a little stupid. I scrubbed between my legs and averted my eyes. Okay… maybe a little really stupid. We didn't use a condom.

I got dressed and headed over to the Cullen house. Alice said that she was having Jazz call her at exactly eleven am. That gave us two hours before Edward's audition. And to ensure phone records could not be traced by the Forks' PD back to me, I would just happen to use Alice's phone at exactly the same time that Edward was standing with it against his ear.

I smiled.

Edward's voice. I hadn't heard it in over four weeks. We hadn't communicated at all really. I got a postcard every week that was sent to Jazz in the mail. But I didn't send anything back in reply.

What would I say? I miss you. I'm sorry. My ass still hurts from the fucking awesome first time sex.

I giggled at that last one. He'd actually love to hear that.

I rang the doorbell. Jake answered.

"Hey J." Jake was getting ready for the big change. She wanted to be referred to in a non gender affiliated way. She hadn't really settled on a name. Emmett kept offering feminized versions of his name… Emily. Emme. Emma. Emina was where I drew the fucking line. Let the poor girl get her own fucking identity for crying out loud!

"Hey Bells," it really should not have been cute that my brother's transgender girlfriend used the same nickname for me that he did. But it always made me smile. I really loved J.

"Al is up in Edward's old room," the hormones that she was on were helping to change her voice—it was almost breathless and airy now. "I promise Em won't know a thing about it!" She crossed her heart and winked.

I held out my hand with a smirk on my face. We giggled as we shared the uber super secret Emmett Swan swear shake. Three slaps alternating up. On punch in midair. Fingers locked pulled back into a snap and finger gun. I added a wink and a clicking sound and J roared with not quite ladylike laughter.

"I'll have to use that on him." J headed out the door while I ascended the fourteen million stairs to Edward's old room. Jeez, no wonder he was always out of breath when he ran up here.

Alice was waiting on her bed. I glanced at the clock ten fifty nine. I giggled and jumped on the bed beside her. Then I immediately regretted it because my back and breasts reminded me that I was in no shape for unnecessary roughness.

I groaned. "No rest for the wicked!" Alice chided. Fuck. I really wish that I had not confessed my sexual encounter with her. In some fucked up weird way it made her a little more open to me. Maybe it was just because Edward wasn't around to pull me away—but Alice had been more like her old self lately. But because she was around she had more time to make suggestive comments and crude jokes. They were funny but they got fucking old.

Her phone started buzzing as the clock turned to eleven.

"Do I even bother pretending that Jazz might be on it?" She asked glaring at me.

I shook my head and grabbed the device from her tiny grip. "Edward!" I screeched.

I could hear his chuckle… mixed with Alice hollering for me to tone it down two octaves.

"Hello my fucking love." Be still my fucking heart. My fucking love. His fucking love… fuck me.

I shook my head when I realized I had fallen into a trance. "Hey…" fucking moron. "back." Fuck!

He chuckled again.

"I mean I love you too!" God I was such a fucking idiot.

"Bella… lay off the fucking crack!" We both laughed… then we both grimaced. Not quite the funny anymore. Fuck.

"So are you ready?" I was sitting up on my knees with the excitement of his big day. I used to get sad when I thought about Edward getting into his big music school on the East coast. But that was back when I was fucking selfish can't say I love you Bella. Now I was fucking insanely in love with you Bella.

I was giddy with knowing… just fucking knowing that he would be getting in to that school.

"Nah!" He laughed. "The music is the easy shit!" I laughed. I fucking missed him.

"How are you?" I kind of knew already. I got his pictures. They had gone back to being abstractions of his soul. I could tell that there was plenty of anger still in the background but the pictures we mainly soothing and happy.

It was fucked up… But Edward almost seemed happier now than he had been before he left.

"Okay." His response was strained.

I'd have to fucking track Tanya down one of these days and really do it—just fucking punch that bitch's lights out.

"Just okay?" I prompted. Don't fucking lie to me Masen.

"Her husband's not a bad guy. She's a fucking bitch but she's not out drinking and fucking falling in with clients all the time. I keep to my fucking self… besides…" He took a deep breath and his voice was all husky and serious as he continued. "That's not the shit that is fucking driving me crazy."

I kind of shivered at his words. I was instantly aware of my throbbing achy breast and my still kind of sore core. Yeah, that shit was driving me fucking crazy too.

We hadn't talked about it. He had sketched stuff I knew was related to it… but we hadn't talked about it. Now did not seem the appropriate time either.

"Yah." I breathed. He chuckled again but it was dark and full of the suggestions that I hated Alice giving me these days. I didn't mind them so much coming from Edward.

"It's tough…" he confessed. I got a little choked up at that. "I fucking miss you! But I fucking love you… so that makes it okay." I could hear the smile in his voice. There he goes giving me that fucking awesome responsibility again.

"I fucking love you too." I reminded him.

We laughed. We talked right up until the minute that Carlisle told him that he was being called. "Wish me fucking luck!"

"Break both your fucking legs!" I yelled. He laughed.

-**-Bookends-**-

EPOV (stage Pops conservatory of music Boston)

I sat at the piano. There was no sound in the room.

Deep breath motherfucker.

The lights were fucking bright. The ivory keys were fucking dazzling as I brought my fingers up to them. I fucking smirked when the guy with the clipboard asked if I had sheet music. It wasn't fucking required and no I never fucking needed sheet music for this one.

I closed my eyes. And I fucking pictured Bella.

My hands flew over the keys to describe her small frame first. It was quite and peaceful—like she was when she slept in my arms. Then the notes drifted up her body to her arms- so strong in their femininity. They were soft, still quiet but they could wrap around me and resonate across my shoulders in powerful support. The delicate skin of her alluring neck made the music drift higher… ethereal. Leading to the best fucking thing of all… her face.

My fingers pounded against the keys to convey the ferocity of her mouth when it was drawn in concern. The all consuming command of her fiery green eyes when she glared at me in passionate anger was a register of seemingly chaotic notes—the sounds crashed together and apart like our lips did when we kissed. And then the music drifted back down with the love in her eyes… the softest kiss on her lips and ended on the beat of her gentle heart pulsing in her chest with love just for me.

Fuck.

When I was done I opened my eyes and smiled. She was fucking everything to me now. My world. My happiness. My fucking music.

Carlisle and Jazz were hooting from the hall and I couldn't even fucking roll my eyes. It was a pretty fucking good song.

It was fucking in Bella in music… of course it was fucking perfect.

The recruiters smiled at me. They said I would receive word soon on how the audition went. But I fucking knew. It was Bella's fucking dream. It was Bella's fucking song. I was sure to fucking get in.

-**-Bookends-**-

CPOV (Cullen house one week later)

I paced in front of the fire. She was coming over for dinner—in another twenty minutes. I straightened my shirt again.

This looks stupid. Maybe I should... what go dig up my old leather jacket and faded blue jeans?

I rolled my eyes. I had only dressed like that back then because she said she liked it... they both made me watch those damn movies a thousand times. Damn James Dean. Damn John Travolta. Damn Johnny Depp. Not every guy had to take on the rebel look so literally but I wanted to impress her.

Her. The face and name should have been Mary's. But it wasn't- it never had been. She wasn't the light. She wasn't the one and only thing I ever thought was beautiful in this world.

When Jack moved Tanya and me here as we were just starting school, I found something worth living my hellish life for. And it was never Mary.

Esme.

I sighed and shrugged out of my shirt. Maybe a light beige sweater. She liked the color beige. She decorated most of her house in light tones. So we want to remind her of her sofa?

Stupid.

I threw on a charcoal grey button down long sleeve shirt. This would have to do. She was due any moment.

I ran back down stairs and checked the chicken one last time. Perfect. Blackened chicken and wild rice… the only thing I knew how to cook. It wouldn't impress her- she had taught me how to make it back in high school. I told her it was to impress Mary… but it was really just and excuse to be alone with her.

I whistled absentmindedly as I stood by the front door. It was pathetic. But I was used to being pathetic over Esme.

Alice and J came down the stairs together. Alice winked at me while J gave me the thumbs up. They both knew that this was over Edward's adoption and nothing else—as far as they were concerned.

"So," Alice said coming up to straighten my shirt and pretend to brush lint from my shoulders. "You sure you want us out of the house all night?" She raised her tiny eyebrows up in such a way that I was hard pressed to not choke right then and there.

"Just because I'm not sure how long dinner will be!" I defended. I could feel the blush rising up my neck.

"No worries Car… Dad," Jazz said coming down the stairs. He was having the hardest adjustment to the official name change. I told him he didn't have to call me dad. If he was more comfortable he could call me whatever he wanted. I just wanted him to know he belonged here with us. That both he and his brother belonged here with us. But that was the rub. Edward. Jazz didn't feel right being here with my name if Edward couldn't too.

I sighed. I would have to have another come-to-Jesus talk with all of my kids soon enough… and I did mean ALL of my kids. This woman was coming over here tonight because I needed to have my family back together.

She was the only thing keeping us apart and it ended tonight.

"I'll keep them out of the house." Jazz winked inconspicuously. Alice giggled. And J tried not to snicker as she punched my shoulder. Damn kids. Maybe I should just ship them all off to a boarding school in France.

"Alright!" I shouted. "Out!" I pointed toward the back door and they headed out with fresh laughter at my expense. For the briefest moment I was worried that I was making another mistake. Could I trust them to be without supervision for one night?

Yes. They were good kids. And they had been honest with me about what happened.

Jazz and Bella had confessed everything that happened that night. I knew that Jazz and Alice were there. I knew that the day I had to send Edward away—I recognized the new snow tread from J's truck in the mud in that field. I knew that at least one of them had been there. And that's why I had had to send him away. There was no way I could keep the fact that all of the adopted kids in my house were off at some drug orgy. It would have risked losing them all… and I could not let that happen.

I didn't let that happen. Because Esme was willing to not press any charges, it was all too easy to make sure the adoption went ahead as planned. Fran, the social worker assigned to my case, was an old friend. She was the one who helped me adopt Alice. And she was more than willing to believe that Edward was just spending some time with Tanya for a few months. She was more than willing to pass the boys straight through for the final adoption- Both of my boys.

I hadn't been able to tell anyone. I knew Esme would through a fit. She claimed all she wanted was Edward out of Bella's life but I could tell she wanted him to suffer for it too. She was turning a blind eye to the evidence that my children and I were bringing to her attention. Hell, the kid who stole the drugs had come clean on his own and confessed. She had to begrudgingly take that one seriously. But she still didn't believe Edward wasn't involved. And she would probably challenge Edward's new last name because of her vendetta. That pissed me off.

I sighed. I was getting all worked up and she wasn't even here yet. I tried not to think about it. There would be plenty of time to think about it. I would not let her leave here tonight until she agreed to let my other newly adopted son come home.

The doorbell chimed. Damn. Moment of truth. I tried to repress my sudden spike of anticipation for the fact that I was finally going to have a romantic evening alone with Esme Swan. I felt like a teenage idiot when I opened the door to find her there.

Damn. What the woman did to me.

-**-Bookends-**-

Esme POV

He was staring at me again. Those intense midnight blue eyes. What was he thinking?

I had to admit. I was coming around to cutting Edward slack. Carlisle's defense did make sense- to Chief Swan. But momma Esme was just a little nervous still. He was promising that Edward would stay away from her until Bella was over eighteen. At that point she could make her own decisions... or mistakes. But I just wanted to keep her safe until then. Show her the potential of being free willed and independent for just a short while before she attached her self to that boy with such reckless abandon.

I had to admit that it wasn't a half bad idea to let him come back here and live with his uncle. Someday.

But none of that had anything to do with that look he was casting in my direction right now.

Maybe it was just naive hope. Maybe it was that repressed little girl who wanted Carlisle Cullen to look like that at her just once when she was young. Maybe it was because I hadn't had sex in almost five years.

Shit. It must have been the lack of sex.

Carlisle sighed. He leaned over and refilled my glass. I never really drank that much. I never knew when I would be needed on duty. And I had never really been a big wine drinker anyway. Beer was just more appropriate for my temperament. I really should have not drunk more than the one glass and since this was now my third and I showed no signs of stopping I knew there would probably be consequences. I tended to kind of revert when I got drunk. I really hoped that the side effects would wait until I was safely at home in my bedroom.

Mmmm... A bedroom and thoughts about Carlisle. Enough. Maybe I should stop drinking. Wait. Who emptied my glass already?

"So, how is J's hormone treatment going?"

Carlisle smiled, the proud papa. "She's doing very well. She is still undecided on the name. You know girls and their decisions." We both laughed. "But I am very proud of her. She seems to be the only one out of all of us who really knows who she wants to be. You know?" I nodded in agreement.

"She is very brave. I know I was pretty lost at that age." I laughed again, while rolling my eyes. " 'bout the only thing I was sure of was that it would be all to easy to get Charlie to marry me."

I laughed again but Carlisle's face kind of fell slightly. Maybe that was the wine talking. It's just what I wanted to see. He had the look removed before I could question it. His dark eyes replaced the semi pain with that old familiar wicked glean.

"Esme?" Shit. His voice was so freaking sexy. It had always been so freaking sexy. Did the heater just come on in here?

"You remember that night down by the ridge?" He laughed.

I couldn't help but laugh too. We were pretty stupid when we were kids. "Your squeamish girlfriend chickened out if I remember correctly." He laughed harder at that.

He had the most amazing laugh. "True. But not you," he shook his head when he said it—smiling that crooked smile. "You never back down from anything." There was that look again. Damn.

"I want to discuss something else with you." He was serious again. I nodded. My fourth glass was going to go just as fast as the first three.

"It's about the adoptions…" His eyes were kind of reluctant and his face was all sheepish when he looked up at me now. Chief Swan didn't miss the fact that he used a plural.

"What are talking about?" My head was fuzzy from the wine… and a little from his intense eyes too. He leaned in closer to me, damn, was this really happening to me? He put his hand on top of mine. My heart flipped in my throat. Shit.

"The adoptions went through on both of the boys," I couldn't believe my ears. My mouth dropped open with a pop. "I would like for you to drop this vendetta against my son so that he can come home."

What! My mind was running in six different directions. In order to protect the one that was fleeing from hurt and embarrassment over hoping this night was just about us and not about Edward—I went with Chief Swan. "How could you do that! It's illegal!"

He was shaking his head before I could finish. "No, he broke no laws. Edward was innocent."

I was getting pretty freaking tired of everyone I tried to care about doing nothing these days but defend Edward freaking Masen. Bella just glared at me and stopped talking to me and now Carlisle was making me feel used in order to let me down easy on the fact that he went behind my back.

"You promised!" I shrieked. "You told me if I let it go, you'd just make him leave town. You said that was that! He was gone!" I slammed my fist on the table. "You promised!"

"Yes!" He yelled back. I had forgotten that Carlisle could give as good as he got in arguments. "I promised that he would be out of Bella's life—never mine! He's my family! He belongs here with us. I won't turn my back on that! I made that promise too!"

I shoved away from the table. Screw my coat and purse. J could bring them over tomorrow when she came to see Em.

"It's no use trying to convince me Carlisle!" I yelled. So made I could spit nails. "You lied to me back then and you could be lying to me right now! You plan this night just to soften me up so you could just tell me you lied? Why did you send him away at all? Just flaunt this shit in my face next time!"

"Alice is my daughter! You know that!" I froze at the door. He pointed an accusing finger at me. "Mary sent her to that hell whole when she hooked up with that asshole all those years ago! I WILL NOT LOSE HER AGAIN! If I had let you do any of that to him… if you do anything to him now… it will revoke my right to her too. She's my own fucking daughter and I'm at their fucking mercy to let me keep her! You know that, Esme! How can you suggest that this was wrong! Edward doesn't deserve to be beaten like a fucking dog all of his life! And Alice and Jazz don't deserve to be shipped away with no family to support them! Don't be so fucking heartless! You're better than that! You have the most… beautiful fucking heart I've ever known!" He collapsed back in his chair. His face was red from his anger and he was breathing heavy from his words. He hung his face in his hands. "Don't fucking do this." Those words were just a whisper.

I wanted to stand by him. I really wanted to believe what he said. But all I could see was Bella's naked broken body in my mind. Of course her bike against the shed and the snow tread in the mud flashed up there too. And little Alice. Her eyes just as piercingly blue as Carlisle's. Her tiny frame as slight as her mother's. And her natural talent in creating was no doubt gleaned from both Carlisle and his former wife. It would never be fair to jeopardize her status in his life.

But that wasn't what was holding me silent against the front door.

It was the fact that for a second I had believed it. I really believed that I was finally here, with Carlisle freaking Cullen, and I was holding my own. The way he had looked at me. The personal way we had spoken to each other. The way I had let my guard down and drank far too much wine. The way he just complimented me while yelling at me.

That little girl was shaking inside of me. And she was screaming we're going to get hurt. But I couldn't help it anymore. I could almost feel his hand on top of mine still. I looked down at my feet. I was only human after all. And I was tired. Really tired of trying to compete with Edward and Charlie and everyone else in my life.

"So," my voice was shaky and breathless. I kind of pulled up the last of my integrity and let the wine take over. Regrets were for tomorrow. "If I agree to drop it…" I rolled my eyes. "You'll sleep with me?"

I gasped because he was already standing in front of me when I looked up. Shit. His eyes midnight blue eyes were so freaking gorgeous. And intense.

"No Esme…" Shit. There goes another night alone with only fantasies of Carlisle and a pint of rocky road.

"I'll make love to you no matter what." DAMN!

He slammed me back against the door with a passion that took my breath away. His hands took my face in his sure grasp. His perfect lips crushed against mine and I moaned when his tongue stroked inside my mouth.

That little scared Esme was rolling over in her grave. I was glad I was drunk enough to drop my defenses but not so wasted that I wouldn't remember a thing tomorrow morning.

This was going to be one fucking night to remember!