A/N: I had an awesome day yesterday, so I felt like posting something, even though it's the last chapter that's actually ready to go up.
Randor paced back and forth in the throne room as he waited for He-Man to return. He had so much he wanted to say, but couldn't seem to figure out what words he should actually let out of his mouth.
"It's nearing lunchtime," he muttered. "Where is he?"
"Where is who?" returned a deep voice.
Randor whirled around to find the hero standing in the doorway, his face carefully blank. The king opened his mouth, but words wouldn't come. Then his conversation with He-Man over a week ago rang through his mind. "So I guess your parents did an alright job after all, eh?"
He-Man glanced around and monitored his words carefully. "As I told you, Sire, my parents are incredible people, and I owe everything I am to them."
Randor followed He-Man's lead. "I've thought about that conversation often today, as well as our other. I'm very sorry that I never told Adam how proud I was—am—of him. Even before today's revelation, I was proud of him."
"You don't need to tell me that," He-Man said, his voice sounding a bit thick.
"Yes I do," Randor disagreed. "I was concerned over the shortcomings I perceived in Adam, but he has been a tremendous negotiator and a good leader in spite of the challenges he faced. He's also shown a profound wisdom at times. I was so busy being concerned about his lighter side that I never stopped to tell him the reasons I was proud of him."
The two men stared at each other for a moment, and Randor wished wholeheartedly that he had not been too shocked to give his son a hug before they left Grayskull. He stepped closer to He-Man.
"Where do we go from here?" he asked lowly. "How are we to act?"
A brief reflection of torment flickered in He-Man's eyes before he answered. "As if nothing has changed, Your Majesty," he said quietly. "As He-Man, I am safer than ever, with the exception that once Skeletor realizes I've stopped disappearing, he'll be able to locate me easily. But the rest of you are in more danger than ever."
Randor felt tears burning in back of his eyes. "I'm so sorry I never understood the sacrifices you were making for us," he said hoarsely.
He-Man swallowed hard. "I'm sorry for causing so many difficulties."
Randor slowly held up a hand, which He-Man grasped firmly. "No apologies, son. We're just thrilled to have you back safe and sound," the king said, meaning far more than his simple words.
"Thank you, Sire," He-Man said calmly, but Randor could see the relief in his eyes.
He-Man's feelings of relief and hope were short-lived. Later that afternoon he and Battle Cat were walking down the south central hallway when they caught the sound of arguing. Casting an uneasy glance at his partner, He-Man set his jaw and continued on his way, half-listening to make sure no one was in danger, but trying not to hear exactly what was said so he didn't invade someone's privacy. Unfortunately, as he drew near the open door of his father's study, the words became as clear as a bird's song on a bright spring day.
"…our son, for Ancients' sake! How can you possibly justify not telling me your suspicions?" Randor demanded, heat in his voice. "You should have told me the instant the thought crossed your mind!"
"It was just an idea!" Marlena defended herself. "I didn't have any proof! And the way you were treating Adam, I didn't want to give you any false hopes!"
"The way I was treating him? What's that supposed to mean?" Randor snapped.
He-Man led Battle Cat by as quickly as he could, his face flaming and his head lowered. Marlena's response faded gradually as they walked. "You were already disappointed in him, Randor. You were always hard on him for every little perceived failure. I was worried that if I was wrong, your disappointment in him would…"
He-Man heaved a breath as they got out of earshot. He had known his mother had defended him against his father often, but he had only heard them argue once in a while, and he wasn't sure he had ever heard them yelling like that. It was unsettling to be the source of their disagreement now, to say the least.
Battle Cat pressed against him, and He-Man realized he had stopped walking. He reached under Battle Cat's chin and scratched him for a moment. The great cat let out a rumbling purr. "Sh," He-Man warned him quietly. "It's bad enough they're arguing over me. I don't want them to know I heard it."
"They'll work it out," his partner growled. "They always do."
"I hope so," He-Man said softly, running a hand through his hair.
"Trust me," Battle Cat ordered. "I've heard them argue about you a lot more than you have. Sometimes I think they forgot I could understand."
He-Man glanced at him in surprise. "Holding out secrets on me, Cat?"
"Only the things you didn't need to know," Battle Cat returned haughtily.
He-Man chuckled dryly. "I have to admit you were right—that was one thing I didn't need to know."
Teela avoided He-Man for as long as she could, trying to get her thoughts together. The idea that he and Adam were the same person just seemed too impossible to believe. As much as she agreed with what Marlena had said, her anger and hurt had returned, and now she was just too angry to want to talk.
She spent over three hours working out, pushing herself to the point of exhaustion. She frowned as she put the weights away, her arms nearly shaking. 'Some shape I'd be in if Skeletor attacked,' she reprimanded herself. Of course, she reflected, now that He-Man was in the palace, there wasn't much to worry about. Teela snorted. Funny thing was, He-Man had always been in the palace. They just hadn't known it.
"Oooooh, it just burns me up!" she growled to herself, her adrenaline kicking in again. She followed a path through the darkening gardens, then stopped short.
He-Man stood before a large fountain, his hands braced on the outer stone, staring into the water. As she watched, his head fell forward and his chest expanded greatly, as if he were drawing in a huge breath. Perhaps the sense was emphasized by the fading light, but he seemed so lost, and she felt pity stir within her. For a moment, with his defenses down, she was able to see him as Adam, a deception even easier to believe in the dusk since their build was so similar. In fact, Teela realized, his posture was the same as Adam's had so often been when he was distraught over his father's reprimands. Reprimands, she reminded herself now, that had been mostly undeserved.
As angry and hurt as she felt, she couldn't add to his burden right now by taking it out on him, even though she wanted to. She stood there, torn with indecision. Part of her wanted to go to her childhood friend and comfort him. Part of her wanted to go find her father and vent some more. But when He-Man's chest expanded again, Teela's compassion won out. She walked up behind him slowly, the sound of her footsteps hidden by the bubbling fountain.
"He-Man," she said, barely loud enough to be heard. Her attempt to not startle him failed; he whirled around, tensed for a fight. He relaxed slightly as he met her eye, though he still seemed wary.
"Teela," he returned her greeting, his voice slightly rough. He cleared his throat, but didn't go on.
Teela wondered if he felt as at a loss for words as she did. The uncomfortable silence grew. He-Man's normally placid face wasn't hiding his feelings today, Teela realized as she studied him. His mouth was slightly tight, as if he were forcing himself not to frown. His brow held a slight furrow that he probably didn't even realize was there. The longer they stood there staring at each other, the more anxious He-Man seemed to become. Teela's heart twisted as again she recognized Adam within him. Impulsively, she stepped forward and hugged him as she had many times before as both He-Man and Adam.
He-Man froze for a few seconds, then slowly his arms went around her and he buried his face in her hair. Teela could feel his warm breath on her head. She felt him relax slightly, then take a shuddering breath. With a start she realized that except for Marlena's hug earlier that day and the one she herself had given him last week, he had probably not been hugged or touched in a loving way since he lost his sword. That alone must have been very difficult for Adam, who was used to the frequent brother-sister hugs they shared and casual touches of genuine affection from many of those at the palace. The thought made her arms tighten around him.
They stayed like that for what seemed like forever. Then He-Man's hand lazily trailed one hand up her back towards her neck; it was an unfamiliar movement that sent tingles of awareness through her. Startled, Teela drew back gently and looked up at him. He-Man stared back at her and dropped his hands, his face now impossible to read in the twilight.
"I'm so glad to know you're okay," Teela said, giving them both a reason for the electricity that seemed to be charging the air all of a sudden.
"You're not angry with me?" he asked skeptically.
"I am," Teela admitted honestly, "but I was worried. You've never-" She stopped as He-Man put a finger to her lips.
He-Man's eyes darted around the courtyard uneasily. "We can't talk about it here," he informed her.
Teela smiled bitterly. "I guess I'd better get used to watching what I say. Is there anywhere we can talk frankly?"
"A few places," He-Man said. He jerked his head. "Follow me."
'What was I thinking?' Adam asked himself as he led Teela to Duncan's workshop, one of the few places protected from eavesdroppers-magical or otherwise. But he knew the answer. He hadn't been thinking. He had only been feeling. He had been so relieved that she wasn't as angry as he had feared, and it had felt so good to hold her again. He had had an overwhelming urge to draw even closer to her, somehow, and the next thing he knew, his hand had been moving. He didn't want to think about what would have come next. 'That's not the way you treat your sister,' he reprimanded himself now.
Because that's what Teela was. Sure, the two of them had flirted a little bit here and there, but only when he was He-Man. And it was never serious. Teela had understood that; she had never fawned over him like some of the women tended to do. For his part, he had been unable to resist the flirting because he knew she would never look at him like that as Adam.
Dismissing the instance from his mind, He-Man opened the door to the workshop and gestured for Teela to walk ahead of him. She smiled hesitantly and went ahead, standing uncertainly in the center of the room.
He-Man glanced around as he shut and sealed the door; Duncan wasn't there. He took note of the fact that the tools were all put away as usual. The surfaces of the workbenches were spotless. Even the small pieces that were part of projects sitting on the two tables on the far wall were put into small divided boxes. He-Man smiled as he shook his head and went to the workbench in the center of the room. He reached inside a cabinet a pulled out a small oval device, setting it on the workbench and depressing the large black button on top of it.
"What's that?" Teela asked curiously.
"Duncan calls it a disruptor," He-Man explained. "It disrupts any electronic eavesdropping device. The Sorceress and Orko set a magical field in here as well, so Duncan and I could talk openly when needed."
"It didn't work when I heard you talking about Adam never coming back," Teela pointed out.
He-Man shook his head. "It doesn't work on people," he explained. He gave a small, lopsided smile. "Especially not when we forget to lock the door."
"Oh." Teela folded her arms and looked at him. "So it's okay to talk?"
He-Man nodded warily. He was expecting another blow-up at any second. She turned away from him for a second, the whipped back around, her eyes flashing. 'Here it comes,' he thought resignedly.
"So did you enjoy tricking your father and me?" she asked in a heated voice. Not as angrily as he had expected, though.
"I hated every second of it," he admitted honestly.
Teela studied him for a long moment. "Before today, I would have believed anything you said without question, either as He-Man or Adam. Now I don't know what to think."
Adam wasn't sure what to say to that. He could hear the hurt in her voice, but he didn't think he could say anything that would ease it. Still, he had to try. "I tried not to lie to you, Teela. That's why I always deflected comments and questions about Adam."
Teela harrumphed. "Oh, he's safe," she quoted in a falsely deep voice. "He wasn't himself. I'm sure he's around somewhere." She put her hands on her hips. "Was it really necessary?"
"Teela, even as He-Man, even though you didn't know the truth, you and I were closer than most others. How many times has Skeletor tried to use you to get to me?" He-Man waited patiently until she answered him. For a minute he didn't think she would.
"Quite a few," she finally admitted.
"Skeletor wouldn't hesitate to use your or my parents to get to me if he knew the truth," He-Man said earnestly. "And if anything happened to any of you, I don't know what I'd do. My anonymity has protected all of us." He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "Now I'm not sure what's going to happen."
Teela drummed her fingers on her leg as she stared at He-Man. This was a side she hadn't seen of him in a long time, either as Adam or He-Man. As He-Man he puzzled through things, courageous and optimistic. As Adam, he laughed and avoided trouble as best he could. The worried man in front of her was almost unfamiliar.
Almost.
There had been times when Adam had opened up to her, and allowed her to see his vulnerability. Back before he started acting, before He-Man had shown up. Another surge of anger gripped her, and her mouth tightened. Their friendship had suffered because of this deception. "Whose idea was it to keep this a secret?" she demanded.
He-Man's brow furrowed. "The Sorceress'," he replied. "Why?"
"I don't understand why you didn't tell your parents and me," Teela said bluntly, her eyes flashing. "We certainly could keep a secret."
He-Man sighed. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I should have told you all from the beginning." A small smile curved one side of his mouth. "Or at least you. Somehow I don't think my parents needed the extra years of worrying."
Teela thought of all the scrapes He-Man had gotten into over the years, and her stomach turned over. 'Maybe I wasn't ready to know either,' she admitted to herself.
"But the fact is that every person who knows is one more person Skeletor could get the truth from, and he wouldn't do it nicely," He-Man said, his voice heavy again. "I loved you all too much to risk it. Even now I'm not sure I made the right decision in telling you the truth."
"Why do you think we're in any more danger than we have been?" Teela asked, exasperated. "Your parents are the king and queen for Ancients' sake. Skeletor is always after them. And I'm Captain of the Guard. Danger is part of my job."
"But he kidnaps you, he locks you up." He-Man's haunted eyes pierced hers. "He doesn't take away your memory and send you to another galaxy, or try to kill you. But he might if he knew the truth."
Without thinking, Teela reached up to gently touch He-Man's cheek, appalled at the thought of Adam in the situations he had just described. When she had known him only as He-Man, the hero she cared for but didn't really know, they had seemed dangerous but somehow manageable. But now...
"All this time, I thought you were safe. I always gave you a hard time, but part of me was always relieved that when I got back, Adam was going to be here, safe and whole and happy." Her eyes welled with sudden tears, and He-Man caught her hand and held it tightly in his own, as if trying to reassure her.
"I am safe and whole and happy," he said softly. He lifted his hand and gently wiped a stray tear off of her cheek. "What's all this, Teela?"
Teela sniffed and straightened up, blinking rapidly. "I feel…" She felt as if she had lost something precious, and she had, she realized. Long ago, she had lost the friendship she had had with Adam because he began deceiving her, and she began judging him. In spite of the fact that she knew her words would belie her raw emotions, she spoke them anyway. "Were you ever really happy, Adam? Or was it all just a show for us?"
The question threw He-Man, and he stared at Teela for a moment, speechless and unsure of how they had just jumped tracks. Teela dropped her hand and her face flushed a light pink, but she didn't back down from the question. "Was it?" she asked again.
He-Man turned away from her for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts enough to answer her question honestly. Teela seemed to know he wasn't evading the question; she waited quietly.
"To wield Grayskull's power is a tremendous honor and responsibility," He-Man finally said, turning back to her. "There were times when the rush of everything working out, of helping others, of beating the bad guys one more time made me feel like it was more than worth it. This is my destiny, it's part of who I am. And most of the time, I was accepting of it and the challenges it presented, and sometimes, I was even happy."
He-Man paused. "But there were times I hated it, Teela," he said honestly. "Times when you or my father was upset with me, when I had to mislead you once again in order to keep my secret. During those times, being two different people felt like it was ripping my heart out."
Teela's eyes searched his face as he spoke; for what He-Man didn't know. He could see the pent-up frustration still lining her eyes and mouth. "I hate feeling like I don't know you anymore," she said, clenching a fist. "How did we get so far apart? Why did you let that happen?"
"It was a price that had to be paid," He-Man said, his voice calm even though the pain in his chest was not.
Teela's eyes flashed again. "A decision you made for both of us!" she snapped at him.
He-Man crossed his arms. "And I'd do it again." The firm tone to his voice stopped her short and she stared at him.
"You're serious."
"Absolutely."
"You have no right to make that decision for me!" insisted Teela, her color rising.
He-Man, though normally unflappable, was reaching his limit with all he had been through in the few weeks. But before he could say anything, Teela's next words stopped him.
"Friendship goes both ways, Adam. You should have let me be there for you. I should have been helping you, not causing problems!" She bit off the words, her chest heaving.
Each time she called him Adam caused his heart to jump into his throat, and He-Man had to remind himself that it was all right that she knew the truth. As he settled himself this time, her words penetrated his mind and he took a step back as if from a physical blow.
He had never before considered the idea that she would feel as if she had been denied the chance to be a friend. He hadn't thought past her initial reaction of anger when she knew the truth, and he felt completely unprepared for all of her raging emotions. Then another thought broke through, and he narrowed his eyes.
"Because Adam is your responsibility?" he asked in a dangerously quiet voice.
Teela flushed bright red. "I had no idea you could take care of yourself," she pointed out, no longer bothering to differentiate between him and Adam. The fact that he continued to do so seemed to irritate her, in fact, if her frown was anything to go by.
"For just once, I'd like to know what Adam is to you," He-Man said heatedly. "A friend, Teela? Or just another responsibility on your list?"
"Don't you dare turn this on me," retorted Teela. "If you don't know the answer to that, it's because of your deceptions over the last umpteen years!"
He-Man whirled around and walked away from her, desperately needing to find an outlet for the swirl of raging emotions welling up inside of him. Fortunately, Duncan was testing a new scanner and had asked him to bring in a hunk of metal-rich granite from the Ice Mountains. Even knowing it would mean another half-day trip to get a replacement, He-Man gladly took his frustrations out on the giant rock, slamming his fist into it as hard as he could. He stood over the remaining pebbles and dust around him, breathing heavily as he tried to regain control of his emotions.
Teela stood frozen as she watched the rock explode around him. She instinctively covered her eyes with her arm, and didn't lower it until she could no longer hear the pebbles raining onto the floor below. She lowered her arm slowly, staring at his back. He-Man—Adam—neither one had ever—ever-lost his temper like that in her presence.
She had pushed too hard. Remorse welled up; Teela couldn't help but acknowledge that although she still felt she had some valid points, she was handling it wrong, and at the wrong time. Even He-Man had his limits. She opened her mouth to apologize.
"I'm sorry." It was He-Man who spoke, and Teela's jaw dropped open a bit more. "I never meant to hurt you, Teela. I only wanted to protect you." He half-turned towards the door, his face a mask of anguish. "Tell my parents I'll be at Grayskull, would you?"
Thoughts of apologizing flew out of Teela's mind. "It's dark. Isn't it a little late to go out there? Surely whatever it is can wait until morning."
He-Man looked at the mess he had made. "No, I think it would be best for everyone if I moved there," he said softly. "There's less of a chance I will hurt someone."
"Hold it right there, mister," snapped Teela. He-Man glanced at her, one eyebrow raised. "First of all, you're cleaning up this mess first. Second of all, you're not making any decisions about where to live after the emotional day you've had." She walked over to him and put a hand on his arm, staring into his face. Her fingers tightened on his arm as she felt the tension there.
"I'm not sure I can do this, Teela," He-Man confessed hoarsely, the words seeming as if they were being torn from him.
"Do what?"
"Be He-Man all the time. If I lose my temper-"
"You'll take it out on something that doesn't matter, like you just did," she interrupted softly. She swallowed hard. "He-Man, you've been through a lot. And I haven't made things any easier tonight. I'm sorry." She searched his face for an acceptance of her apology.
"It's okay," He-Man assured her. "You were right."
"Maybe, but I was wrong too," Teela admitted. She smiled cheekily at him. "You're going to stay, right?"
"I don't know…"
"Please?" Teela batted her eyelashes at him, but unlike when he was Adam, he didn't laugh and lightly push her away. Instead, He-Man gave her a slightly confused smile and the answer she wanted.
"I'll stay. Just for tonight."
Marlena snuggled into Randor's arms in the darkness, thankful that Adam had told them the truth at last. She had hated keeping her suspicions to herself. And she was thankful she and Randor had cleared the air somewhat—although he was still perturbed, he had gotten past the hot anger that helped lead to their argument earlier in the day.
"You should have told me," Randor's voice rumbled quietly in her ear, letting her know that all was not forgiven yet.
Marlena went still, and reminded herself to put herself in his shoes, not only to understand where he was coming from, but to figure out how to diffuse his anger before it got started again. "Would you have believed me?" she finally asked.
There was a long pause. "Probably not," he admitted. "But at least I would have been prepared for the possibility."
"Even though it's what I believed, saying it out loud just seemed impossible," Marlena said thoughtfully. "Even when I tried to confront him on it, I couldn't come out and say it."
There was another long silence, and she thought Randor had fallen asleep. She began drifting off herself when his voice woke her again. "I'm worried about him, Marlena."
"Why?" she murmured sleepily, trying to force herself awake.
"Skeletor hates He-Man. Now that he can find him at any time…" Randor's voice trailed off. "I'm worried," he repeated.
Marlena turned to face Randor and slipped her arms around him. "So am I," she admitted. "Perhaps he would be safer at Grayskull."
"I feel I have so much to make up for. How can I do that if he moves away from us? How will he rule Eternia from Grayskull?" Randor sighed heavily. "There are many unanswered questions."
"But none of them must be answered now, except how to protect him from Skeletor," Marlena pointed out. "The rest will work itself out in time, I'm sure."
"I suppose you're right," Randor agreed softly. He kissed her tenderly. "I'm so thankful for your wisdom, Marlena. I love you."
"And I love you," she answered, her heart soaring. He had forgiven her, she just knew it. But just to make sure… "I'm sorry for not telling you my suspicions earlier, Randor."
He sighed again. "Maybe you were right not to, Marlena. We'll never really know."
She snuggled into his arms as they tightened around her, and laid her head on his chest, her thoughts turning once again to her son.
