Bookends By: Bella's Executioner.

Rating: M- this means if you're under 16 you are agreeing to break your own ToS by reading this and I'm not your mother so be responsible for yourself.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner.

A/N: Bookends is the very first fanfiction I started writing. It's been on this site, moved and come back. It has errors, fuck ups and lots of proofs that I'm human but it also has all of my heart and soul in it. I welcome you into this world of pain and love and hope that you enjoy. I also welcome your thoughts as you read—pm me or review and I'll be happy to discuss the story with you.

Chapter 22: Sleeping in my memory

-**-Bookends-**-

"We cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination, fed upon by illusion, and put to death by reality."—Judy Garland

-**-Bookends-**-

APOV (2 weeks later)

I sat in my studio spinning the pencil around and around on the desk. I had scribbled thousands of designs but nothing was calling to me. I felt like a kindergartener with a crayon—with the exception that when I was in kindergarten, I could draw designs better than most professionals.

It was just more frustrating than anything. Being a child prodigy had always impressed everyone around me, but now I was face to face with what it had always done to me- created the most intense fear. Pressure. Expectation. Consistency. What if one day I grew up and with the coming of maturity, I lost the brilliance of my youth?

Judy Garland suffered from the same affliction. She always feared her natural talent and the amazing ease with which it came. At some point you forget to be a kid- and you wonder if all you are is your ability. And what are you then, when that ability goes away?

Judy feared that since her voice was not something she controlled, if she lost it she could never get it back. And so Judy would stop existing and never be found again. I could sympathize with that. I now sat in front of a blocked artist's most hated enemy- a blank white page.

I groaned.

I shoved off the desk and glared out the window. A sunny day in Forks. Someone stop the presses. I wished I could enjoy it. But it just reminded me that summer was here and fall was coming up fast. Soon- Too soon I would be expected to produce once more. What would happen to me if I failed? I never considered the possibility that I could ever fail.

There was a quiet shouting in the back of my mind- or at least there used to be. When I was a kid... I survived on this fantasy- this dream. A vision. I could see my future. See my father and mother and even a brother and sister. I could see a boyfriend and a career. I could see a future.

It was the only thing that got me through. I don't remember the day I was brought there- but I remember the day I left. The shouting was there. The boys had been in the house for less than twenty-four hours and they were nice enough to not beat me away from them.

Other kids were not as nice. Other kids had a lot of anger. Like Bella. Bella was an angry kid. I never understood it. I was always happy. Scared, terrified at times eve, but happy. I saw my future. I saw my daddy and my brothers and on that day... they showed up.

Edward was tolerant. Edward had no patience for happiness even back then. Eight years old and disturbed. That was the difference I suppose- between Edward and Bella. She was angry. She was ready to fit and punch and scream. Edward... Edward was sad and he was drowning in guilt. Someone had told Edward it was his fault- and like a good little son he believed them.

And Jazz... Jazz was just quiet. Jazz was drawn to my outgoing nature because it meant he could just tag along. That day I only knew Jazz for five hours before Carlisle Cullen stormed into my life. But I lived an eternity in his quiet eyes. I could see him in the vision then. He was the boyfriend. I knew it.

And when they were called to leave. The shouting began.

I had never really fought for anything in my life before then. I had just shut up and dealt. I would cry when the pain got too much to contain but I would never talk back. That just led to more pain.

And I knew... saying something right then would mean a beating the likes of which I had never survived. Maybe it still did—my body felt pretty beat up these days. But I couldn't lose him. Not Jazz. So I soldier my hand to his and he didn't make a peep about it. I think we hoped he could sneak me home without anyone noticing.

But... Carlisle Cullen is nothing if not thorough. Especially when an annoying over protective eight year old is bitching about his brother's new appendage.

But it happened again. Just like when I looked in to Jazz's eyes, when my father's kind blue eyes met mine... I knew. He joined the vision in the most overwhelming image. He was my dad. The shouting was enough to split my eardrums then. Even if I, god forbid, lost Jazz someday, I would never lose this person from my life.

And the shouting grew louder still when I met my big brother Jacob and when I met the Swans... A mother and a sister and even another brother all rolled into one household. I found that I could no longer sleep in silence. The shouting was always around me. Forks was like a nightclub—the bass booming so loud and the voices yelling around me that I just felt at home.

The voice told me to be creative- guiding me to my first sketchpad. The shouting screamed when my father insisted that I was more than just talented. And the day I was introduced to Laurent… I was swaying in the nightclub again.

Runways. Magazines. Tall, leggy models with snotty attitudes who would buy my clothes whether they liked it or not. It was more than the dream had ever promised. So much more than I could have hoped for. And the shouting was always there. I knew what to do. I knew where to go. I still had a future.

But then… that night that Jazz called. I jumped on my dad's plane. I hugged those boys to my heart. I gazed into the depths of my love's soul… and the shouting started to grow quiet.

I ignored the signs. I was still happy. Happiest I had ever been really. I had Jazz 24/7. I was finally old enough to enjoy his soft sweet lips. And though he was still quiet around everyone else, Jazz had grown completely open with me. So when the shouting grew quieter still… I really didn't care. All I could hear was Jazz's deep, velvet voice.

He told of his dreams and mine seemed to shift to join his. He whispered his plans and suddenly my path only wanted to follow his. He told me I was beautiful—and for the first time I knew what that word meant.

Then one night, the shouting grew so loud it broke the sound barrier in my mind. In the shadows of that garden it became a different kind of warning in my thoughts. One that told me I had been too selfish and too greedy. I had lived too long taking for granted that this life was real. I had no idea who I was or what I was meant for.

And that shouting was so vicious and constant that I physically felt my self draining and maybe even dying. Everyone looked at me that way then too. Especially Bella. Edward said it once and until that day I did not understand. He told me that he envied Bella her anger. He envied someone being able to feel that and not deny it to their mind and soul. And I hated to have to admit it, but I envied it too.

I watched Bella take that pill. Saw her almost die. It was all for Edward. Over the anger and love that she felt for protecting him. She would rather put herself in danger, or maybe even die, than allow Edward to destroy himself.

The shouting was deafening by that point. I could no longer talk to Jazz—I couldn't hear his dreams no matter how loud he shouted them at me. I could still see my future but only for brief seconds before the noise in my mind shook the image too violently for me to focus on it clearly.

I was draining, and dying and turning in circles in my mind. And I was still creating but it was on some tragic autopilot. I couldn't hope to contain it. I feared for the day it flew out of my reach—for I felt it coming.

And then… all at once, the shouting stopped.

"Alice is my daughter! You know that!"… The shouting stopped like a black hole was collapsing the space between my ears. I was gone. Alice was gone. The dream was gone. The voice that whispered to me and kept me on my path… was silenced.

Judy's words echoed in my mind now though—"how strange when an illusion dies. It's as if you've lost a child." My dream now was no longer even a hope of reality—it was a whitewashed illusion. One that had been revealed like a magicians trick. There was nothing left. There was just a death—some hope that had been flushed out of me against my will. The loss of a child.

Bella. I hung my head in my hands. I was the worst best friend in the history of best friends. I really wanted to go find her. But Jazz was better suited for this now. They were there together. They needed this little moment together to deal with what was going on.

"You going for the Fred Flintstone look this season?" Edward said behind me.

"Maybe." I hated having to defend my designs—it was sort of new for me. My work had always just been loved. Now… I was learning some much needed humility I supposed.

"Where's Bella?" I knew the answer. She and Jazz headed off to some place secret every afternoon. Jazz was going in to the psychiatric field in college this fall and apparently he was actually very well versed in some of it already.

Edward shrugged and sat at my stool while I continued to lean against the windowsill.

"She said she had some shopping to do today." His face was a little… sad. Edward had been so hopeful on the plane ride home. Hell, I had finally become at least a little hopeful as we flew home. But Bella really couldn't be expected to offer him any hope right now.

I practically glared at the Swan house as I tried to find the right words of support. We were sworn to secrecy over the baby. And for the most part I understood her wishes. Bella didn't want Edward to feel responsible. But… he deserved to know the truth. I just prayed that one day she could offer it to him.

"I am wondering why you are not shopping with her…" Edward wasn't looking at me when I turned to respond. He was spinning the pencil just as I had earlier. I wondered what part of him he was afraid of losing some day.

Then I thought about what I had to tell him—right, he was terrified to lose Bella.

I cleared my throat and went back to staring out at the disgustingly over exposed backyard. I prayed for rain soon. "You know… Bella and I, we kind of grew apart this past year." It burned like acid in my stomach to say it. I yearned for the shouting to make my brain not accept it as the truth that it was. But it was true. I had pushed Bella away and now when she might actually need me… I was still miles away from her.

"Yeah." Edward's sad voice agreed. "I know how you feel."

That burned worse than the acid of my own betrayal. Because maybe if I had pushed myself back to Bella, I could have forced her to handle this differently. I could have seen what was coming and told her to not let go of Edward's hand. I would not have resented the happiness I saw her and Edward finally having that night that my world was split in two. I was just as guilty as any of them for this pain that he felt now too.

"Edward, you need to just be patient with Bella. She has gone through a lot… She had to… it wasn't easy for her to survive without you." In the infamous words of my new big brother—fuck. That was the understatement of the year. Survival was barely strong enough for what Bella was going through now.

There was a part of Bella that was just dead. I knew it when I looked into her eyes two weeks ago. The dead part of me even jumped back at the void in Bella's eyes. She couldn't even hide it from Edward. And that killed her all the more.

"Alice? Just promise that… I dunno… Fuck. Bella pulls away when I try to touch her at all… even innocently. Just promise me…" His eyes were tortured when I looked over at his plea.

"Promise what Edward?"

"That she doesn't feel that I… I raped her." The last was just a whisper—though it shouted across my mind in shades of red and black.

"How the hell do you even begin to think that Edward?"

"Well… Alice… You weren't there. It was fast… It was painful—for her."

"Edward, that girl loves you and she wanted it just as much as you did!"

"No Alice! She was afraid! She felt guilty for me having to leave… She felt responsible to take care of me…"

I rolled my eyes and took two steps toward him. This was going to fucking hurt me more than it hurt him. His face was severe in self disgust and fear. I wouldn't allow him to even consider this anymore. I reached out and slapped his cheek with the full force of my anger.

"FUCK!" He screamed and jumped to feet. Pissed and ready to slap me back.

"You ever… EVER fucking imply that girl was too weak to deny you if she wanted I will do something more extreme than just slap you Edward Cullen! No girl cries rape after the fact just because it was the greatest sex imaginable. And if she does then she doesn't know that the fuck she is talking about!"

I was breathing hard and my tiny hands were solid fists that were ready to swing again if he said the wrong thing.

"Sorry Alice!" He threw up his hands as understanding dawned in his eyes. "I just didn't know what to think. You haven't seen the way she… cowers from me when I try to touch her."

I knew Edward wasn't talking about trying to get her to have sex. I had seen it. I saw when he reached out to stroke her arms in a gentle caress that Bella's whole body would freeze before allowing him to continue. I saw that when he leaned in to kiss her cheek intimately that she would shut her eyes tight before returning the gesture. And each time I saw it, it was like a punch to my gut because I knew exactly how Bella felt.

I didn't do it with touching—I did it with my thoughts and emotions. But I still had treated Jazz like that every day since the day I was confronted in that garden.

I wound my arms around Edward's waist and hugged him. To my utter shock and surprise he just draped his arms around me and hugged back.

"Just give her time Edward. I promise that she didn't feel the way you think. It just is a lot for anyone to process. And Bella's mind and heart are just remembering how much it hurt to think she lost you before. She is just… protecting herself from that kind of pain again." That was the truth. He didn't realize on what level it really was true, but I wasn't lying to him right now about that. Bella really was protecting her body from having to face the utter hell that losing his child had caused. And her mind was making a connection between Edward touching her—and her becoming pregnant once more.

"Time Edward." I leaned back and looked deep into his chocolate brown eyes. They were pained as they had always been since that first time I met him.

"Time." He breathed.

"I've always taken 'The Wizard of Oz' very seriously, you know. I believe in the idea of the rainbow. And spent my entire life trying to get over it."

-**-Bookends-**-

JPOV

"You finish the antibiotics today right?" It was more than just weird to try to talk to Bella anymore. I had a lot of shit to work through myself…least of which was that night two weeks ago.

But it was selfish to dwell on my own shit right now. This poor girl in front of me needed something… and she refused to reach out for anything that might truly help her. Bella clung to some desperate hope that I could help her survive.

It was logical I supposed—I had been the one to take her to the hospital. I had been the one to force her to call Renee. I had been there every time, out of the fifteen times she woke up after the fact and tried to destroy her self out of the agony that was consuming her.

But I couldn't hope to do this right. Bella was developing a split personality of sorts. An attempt to lock away the old, broken Bella to protect this body and mind that was still living. Now that Edward was back she had a purpose, but I could tell that she was going to burn that hope out eventually too—Bella needed professional help to work through this.

"Bella? Talk to me about last night." Every night she had the same experience. She had this nightmare—one that told her that she would break Edward's heart and he would leave her. It terrified her. There was a part of Bella's mind that craved even just the idea of Edward to survive. She wrapped every hope of her humanity and soul around Edward's existence in her life.

I didn't have to have the degree to know that wasn't healthy. But I also knew that pushing this kid too far—well Bella had proved many times what she was capable of if she felt threatened. I couldn't watch her destroy herself and by extension everyone else I loved because I pushed her too far.

So I just listened. And I hoped. My brother was a miracle worker when it came to protecting people. Look at me. Hell, look at Tanya. But I feared this girl would be the biggest mistake of Edward's life someday. Edward was only human too—and it would kill both of them when he proved that fact.

"It was the same Jazz. I just felt…" She hugged her legs to her chest. "I felt alone. I woke up and Edward had gone down to get us breakfast and I just kept whispering 'he's gone'… he was freaked out when he came back. What am I doing to him?" Her voice was strained and she started hitting her forehead against her knees.

Physical displays with Bella had to be refocused immediately. That was the key that I wanted to help her move past before we all broke at the end of the summer. I had to get her past wanting to hurt herself when she felt upset. She didn't consciously control it anymore. She had had to block it out in the hospital.

She even forgot about the psychologist coming in to talk to her to evaluate if she was okay to check out. She locked away the urge so that she looked 'normal' enough to leave. But it was still there—it was her mind's way of punishing her body for betraying her.

"Bella, we talked about this." That was all I would say. Her movements froze as soon as she heard me.

"One… two… three… four… five…" She took deep calming breaths between each number. She was channeling something she didn't even realize was controlling her. I was so afraid for her. Bella really needed to face this. But then the best way to face it was to talk about it—with more people than just the guy who survived it with her.

She took one last deep steadying breath as she reached ten. "Thank you Jazz." She whispered. She looked up at me and I didn't react at all to the way her eyes made me feel.

Her eyes were making everyone flinch these days. No one talked about it. But everyone could see that there was something very wrong with Bella, when they looked into her eyes. But I had perfected a non reaction to this. She trusted me with her healing. I would not make her feel uncomfortable here. I owed her that respect for that trust.

"When does Edward leave for Boston?" It was juvenile I know, but my brother and I had given each a wide berth since that morning two weeks ago. Of course he had earned it with the information that he admitted he had been keeping from me.

"In a week." Her face was sallow and white as she said it.

I clamped down on my own problems and turned my full attention back to Bella. "Listen." I took her hands in mine and looked deep into the slowly fading green of her eyes. "You need to figure out what you want to do now Bella. Where do you want to go? Are you going to Port Angeles, or maybe Seattle?"

Her face grew worried. Uh-oh. She hadn't thought of this before now. Dammit. "I… I… I don't know… I hadn't really thought…. Oh god Jazz! What do I do when he leaves?"

I could practically feel her pulse speeding at the thought. "Calm down Bella. You know that you don't HAVE to Edward physically here to survive."

I nodded as I said the words and she tried to force her head to nod along with mine. Neither of us really believed it. I knew that I physically had to have Alice with me or else I would go insane. But Bella would… there would not be happy results with Bella's mental state if she didn't start facing so harsh realities. She was not even sixteen years old. She wouldn't be allowed to just follow Edward off to college.

"O- kay." She whispered. "I will think about it."

I looked at my watch. It was such a therapist thing to do. "Ten o'clock." I said. I resisted the urge to tell her to schedule her next appointment with my secretary.

"Come on," I stood and reached for her to take my hand. She looked at my hand and got up on her own. She hugged her arms around her middle and we headed out of the woods and back towards the house.

-**-Bookends-**-

The house was practically empty when we got there. Edward swept down the stairs like he just knew Bella was waiting for him by the door. They shared an intense silent moment of staring into each other's eyes when he reached her.

He didn't even acknowledge me being there. No one else existed when Bella was in his eyesight these days. I wondered what Edward thought or felt when it came to her right now. She couldn't possibly be acting normal around him. I wondered how he was bending her actions as something he was responsible for.

I sighed. I didn't want to see him try to kiss her. Nothing hurt more than watching Edward try to kiss Bella these days… well almost nothing. Looking my big brother in the eyes—the guy who had raised me from birth, and not telling him about the morning of his eighteenth birthday. That fucking stabbed me in the heart.

I headed up stairs with no real direction in mind. I figured Al was gone—she had to get her rough designs off to Laurent by the end of the week. She usually went to her office/studio space that Dad rented for her in Forks. So I figured her home-studio would be empty.

I sat on her stool. It was lowered so close to the ground that it made me smile. Alice was such a huge part of my life—I often forgot how tiny she was in form.

I looked at the blank sheet clipped to the desk. I frowned. Al was blocked. There was no other explanation for this empty sheet. I had never seen an empty sheet of white paper that Al hadn't tried to scribble something on before.

Damn.

I pressed my hands—open palmed to the page. Would that I could heal whatever it was that ate at her too. Not just because I was dying without her—but because she didn't deserve to ever feel this kind of pain. Not anymore. She was too good for that kind of pain.

Two little hands smoothed up my chest from behind. My breath stopped. I closed my eyes slowly as I felt my… my heart restarting.

"Hi." She whispered in my ear. I wanted to groan. To anyone else this was just a simple touch. Something that had no other meaning than just skin on skin. Maybe an understanding of the emotions that came along with intimacy. But no—no one could ever understand what just feeling Alice touch me did to me. It made me feel alive. It made me feel.

Her arms wound around me—a hug to anyone else. A declaration to me. I was back. We were back. She was letting me know that whatever it was that had pushed her away—she wanted to work through it.

I wanted to cry. How did she know that I needed this more than anything else right now? How did she always know? She nestled her nose in my neck and I really did groan. My hands fisted against the symbol of Al's distress.

This was just a simple innocent touch to anyone else—to us, it was practically obscene. I tingled everywhere. My heart hammered in my chest. Alice might as well have been naked on top me. This moment felt that good.

"Jazz? Can we talk?" I nodded slowly. Whatever she wanted. If she touched me like this—she could do whatever else she wanted with me.

"Yes." I breathed. I was almost afraid of speaking—this was a whisper of a dream that I knew could go up in smoke if I disturbed it too fast.

I stood and she dropped her arms only long enough to grab one of my hands in hers. I smiled down at her when she did. She smiled up at me. It was better than fucking sex. Edward would never really get it. He and Bella shared something that I couldn't understand either—but Alice and me- we were just each other's hearts.

"Where?" She asked. I was taken off guard by that one. What was wrong with here? I thought about it. I didn't really like the thought of forcing Al to go there but it was the most secluded place I knew.

"There is a place in the woods that's quiet. We could go there."

She nodded and stepped back for me to lead the way.

It was quiet as we left the house. Almost void of all sound as we entered the woods. But I could hear my heart and maybe even hers beating strong in that silence. So it was not a sad loss of noise. Just a peace.

"Jazz…" She said when we reached the meadow. "I have to apologize for the way I have treated you. But… I just found out that… I found out that I wasn't who I thought I was all of my life."

It was almost mean of me to do it. But I was kind of giddy from this moment of being with her and excited to have happy news to share from my end. So when I smirked at her the look she threw me was understandable. But I recovered quickly to justify my actions. "Sorry, Al, it's just… so did I."

She narrowed her eyes and tried to understand what I was saying.

"I was adopted… by Tanya. I'm not really her son, or Edward's biological brother. And…" My chest felt a thousand times lighter as I said it. Even the black shit that was drowning me around Bella seemed forgotten in this moment.

"And it so liberating you know? I don't feel… feel her watching me with her cruel eyes anymore."

I smiled and my hands gripped Alice's sides as if I was afraid of floating off the earth. She smiled—a bright enchanting glow across her face. I fell in love with her all over again.

"Wow." She whispered. I nodded. It was tremendous news. She leaned up on her toes then. And all at once I was flying—lifting off in to heaven. Alice's perfect little lips were secured to mine and I was on top of the world.

She whimpered when my tongue broke into her mouth. And we both moaned together when her tongue started to stroke against mine.

It was more than I had ever felt before. It was like my skin was suddenly too sensitive. The air around us was buzzing with our shared desires. And all at once we were on the ground—she beneath me as I began to almost devour her very soul with my mouth.

She wasn't complaining. Her hands were working my shirt off. I didn't fight it. It had been too damn long. I needed this. Needed Alice's touch. Her skin. Her scent. Her heart. It was mine. And she was offering it to me freely right now. I would take it with all my might.

My breath was ragged when I finally broke our kiss. She needed to breathe—so I let her while my lips continued to taste and love her. Her hands were in my hair—on my now bare shoulders. I was wrapped in a cloud of Alice. And I never wanted to come down.

It was insanity. Maybe it was just therapy. We both needed a moment to just join together. But it was as if I couldn't control it—didn't want to control it. And when she spoke I was past the point of rational thought.

"Jazz…" She whispered in a seductive voice that made my crotch thrust against her unthinkingly. All I could do was growl. I was moving into a whole new me as I continued to explore this woman beneath me. Gone was the sweet Jazz formerly Masen, recently named Cullen and apparently first named Hale. This was some creature that was created to love Alice. And I was almost a little afraid of him and what he intended to do to her.

"Take me." My eyes snapped to hers at her words. There was some part of my mind that was considering what this meant. Considering the fact that though Al and I had been very intimate with each other for several years—we had never had sex. And then that part of my mind thought of Bella. Thought of how she looked sitting not two feet away from where Alice was pressed into the tall grass and flowing wild flowers. Would this be a mistake like it was for Edward and Bella?

"Please…" Alice begged. Her eyes shown with something beyond love and desire. And I found my head nodding in defeat immediately. I needed this too.

I lowered my lips to hers once more. If Al did end up pregnant—no one could force me out of her life. Though neither of us ever wanted to bring a child into this world. Who could blame us? Neither of us ever felt loved as children—there was so much potential for a parent to ruin a child that we did not want to ever have that responsibility.

"Yes." I pledged. I would do whatever she wanted.

I undressed her slowly—enjoying every inch of her delicate body. Every single inch belonged to me—only me. And I put my lips and tongue against every inch of what was mine. I loved her- With my hands and my heart. And she returned the favor. I was again losing my mind to the swirl of her around me. She pushed me on to my back and I groaned as she sat across my legs.

I had thought Esme Swan had looked ravishing on top of my adopted father that night I walked in on them. But that is only because I had not seen Alice on top of me before.

I watched as my hands slid up her sides and cupped her pert breasts. She moaned slightly and closed her eyes. Perfect. She was absolutely perfect.

Then her hands came to rest on top of mine and with a devilishly Alice smile, she lowered my hands to my side. "Stay." She commanded and I complied.

She leaned over to retrieve her pants. I was perplexed but I was also too far gone to even think. Alice sat inches away from my throbbing erection. I was trying not to completely lose my mind over that—especially since my legs could feel just how ready she was for me too.

She fumbled through the pocket of her pants and smiled when she produced the tiny foil wrapped object. A condom. Alice had been prepared to have sex with me today? I raised an eyebrow. Words were almost never necessary when it came to me and Alice.

She giggled slightly and winked. She unwrapped the godsend and then I slammed my head against the ground as she rolled it on to me. I prayed—prayed for the strength to survive this moment without losing control. Edward had gone over in excruciating detail what kind of control he had to have with Bella that day. That the need to just rush and end was almost too overwhelming. My eyes were rolling back in my head and I was biting my lip so hard that I could taste blood once Alice was done.

I groaned as she continued to explore the lower part of my body. I was going to lose it.

"Roll over." I grunted as I turned her suddenly. I smoothed a hand down the front of her body. Her eyes were hooded with lust and dark—almost midnight black with need.

We both gasped when my fingers found her entrance. She arched her back and neck and moaned. I was flying even higher at the sight. All mine.

We looked into each other's eyes as I entered her slowly—agonizingly slowly. Every heartbeat was shared—every breath was matched. Alice and I were one. And though she had a moment of sharp pain, she held to me for the support of getting through it. And I lay still, an unbelievable mercy of control washing over me in that moment, waiting for her to adjust and be ready to continue.

Edward had described his moment with Bella as rushed, frantic and awesome. I would agree about awesome—it was like walking into perfection to feel Alice and me reaching that peak together. But our moment was slow, peaceful and tender.

When we finished we lay embraced in all ways and gazed into each other's eyes.

"I am the biological daughter of Mary Alice Brandon and Carlisle Cullen. I was stolen from my father when I was born. And returned to him because I met you. Because you wouldn't let me go." Her voice was only a whisper—this was a secret and a truth that she intrusting only to me.

Tears were welling in her loving eyes as she spoke. And I felt mirrored tears fall from on my cheeks as I leaned in and kissed her.

Every second for the rest of our lives would be like this. Maybe not happy. Sometimes filled with so much pain that our hearts would break. But this swelling of completion and belonging that we two orphans felt—it would exist forever. And we would be joined like this for the rest of our lives.