Hi Guys, thanks for reading. I Don't own 24 or any of the characters etc..
Some bad language and sexual references but nothing too bad...yet:)
He stepped out of the room, pulled his cell out of his pocket and dialled his parents. He knew that Jess needed some serious support after everything she had been through today with Sam and Michelle needed to be looked after as well and he just didn't feel like he could give both girls what they needed on his own. If his mum came over she could help with Jess so he could concentrate on Michelle. He gave his mum a very quick rundown of the day but told her he would fill her in on the rest when she came, he just needed her here as soon as possible.
Next he ran into the living room where he found Jess sitting on the floor quietly sobbing. He put his arm around her and explained that their mum was on her way over. Jess got even more upset, she hadn't ever planned on telling her parents how Sam had treated her but she also knew this wasn't just about her anymore. The woman her brother loved, who had been nothing but amazing to her had been badly hurt because she had protected her. She was still stunned over the fight she had heard Tony and Michelle have. She felt partly responsible. Even though she knew her brother had lost his temper, something he was famous for, she knew it had come from a good place. He was head over heels in love with Michelle and Jess could see it was scaring him. She told Tony to go back to Michelle and that she would be fine until their mum got there.
Tony thanked her and ran back to the bedroom. He found Michelle walking to the bathroom. "What do you need Chelle? Can I get something for you?"
"I spilt the water Tony, I'm sorry. Can you get me another top to put on?" Her voice was still broken with tears. Her face was red and even her good eye was swollen from crying. The front of her top of was soaked.
"Of course." He pulled one of his t-shirts out from his drawer and took it over to her. "You don't look to steady on your feet honey. Let me help you."
She looked like she was going to protest but just didn't have the energy to. "I'll get you a face cloth, just come back to the bed." He put his arm around her and led her back over to the bed so she could sit down. He felt relieved that she was even talking to him.
As she sat, he handed her the t-shirt. She took it but then just held it in her hands. Suddenly she started breathing really heavily and more tears made their way down her cheeks. "What have I done Tony? How could I forget to call my Dad's friends about tomorrow? I am a horrible, horrible person..."
"Don't say that sweetheart. So much has happened today..."
"Yeah and then I just blew Nick off like that, he was just trying to look out for me and I lied to him, something I have never done before and then I hurt your feelings and got you so angry with me. I've screwed everything up." She was trying to wipe her cheeks but she couldn't keep up with the tears, she felt like she was having a panic attack. She was struggling to breathe properly.
Tony gently took her hand. "Baby, I need you to try and take some deep breaths. You haven't screwed anything up, we can phone Nick back and sort this out. I'll help you. And I am the one that was in the wrong Chelle. I had no right to speak to you the way I did, I'm disgusted with myself..."
She started gasping for air because her breaths were so short and shallow, he was sure she was having a panic attack. He needed her to calm down.
"I'm cold, I need to get this shirt off." She was pulling the collar out as if it was too tight around her neck. She was so agitated and couldn't stop moving. It was like she couldn't keep up with trying to pull her collar out as if that would make it easier to breathe and at the same time trying to wipe the tears away.
She suddenly stood up and grabbed the bottom of her top.
He went to cover her hands with his "Let me help you..."
Suddenly she stepped back and yelled at him. "Help me? You want to help me? Why would you want to help me? You have never been so angry with me. You think I had something going on with Nick, you think..."
"No Chelle, I was an asshole, I was so jealous I wasn't thinking straight, I...
She yanked her top up over her head, the buttons on the collar got caught on her stitches ripping a few of them out. She screamed in pain.
"Shit, holy shit. Don't move baby." He tried seeing if he could easily slide the top off but one button was slightly hooked on a stitch and the half of the collar line was still under the rest of the stitches. Blood was dripping down her cheek.
Jess had run to the door when she heard Michelle scream. Tony asked her to grab scissors.
"Ok baby, I'm going to cut the collar so it is wide enough to pull out over, it's going to hurt too much if I try and pull it over, is that ok?"
Michelle had stopped crying, almost as though she was shocked at what was happening. "Yeah, please just get it off."
Jess came running back in and handed Tony the scissors. "I'm going to go and call a doctor to come to the house."
Tony thanked Jess then spoke as calmly as he could. "Ok sweetheart, don't move at all, I'm going to start cutting now."
"Ok."
It took Tony a few minutes to cut the t-shirt enough that he could just pull it out and over her head without it touching her skin at all. Once he had, he inspected her wound. "Sweetheart 3 of the stitches have ripped out, I'm so sorry." He didn't want to tell her or make a big deal and freak her out but the wound was quite wide now where the stitches had ripped through the skin.
Michelle at first just felt relieved that the top was off her head, and then it hit her suddenly that she was standing in front of Tony in just a bra. She threw her hands up trying to cover herself.
Tony looked at her adoringly. He put his finger under her chin and lifted her head slightly so she would look at him. "She are so beautiful Michelle. So beautiful."
She gave him a small smile and it made his heart melt. With the panic of everything going on he hadn't even looked but now he couldn't help himself. He tried not to be disrespectful and gawk at her.
Michelle felt so awkward on one hand but on the other she didn't think anyone had ever looked at her the way Tony was now. They stood in silence for a moment until she felt blood drip from her face down onto her hand. She instinctively removed her hand from her chest and wiped her cheek. Blood was everywhere.
Tony reached behind him and closed the bedroom door so that Jess wouldn't walk back in. He took Michelle's hand, "come sit on the bed, I'll help you clean up." She took his hand and then sat on the bed.
Tony told her to hold on for one sec. He stuck his head out the door and asked Jess what was happening with the doctor. Just after she responded her heard the door bell ring. Thank god his mom was here. He told Jess, he would let them know when they could come back in.
He closed the door, went into the bathroom and got some warm wet wash cloths. He went back and sat next to Michelle.
"Who was at the door Tony?"
"My mum. Michelle I know you are completely overwhelmed but I just had to call her. I'm not handling any of this very well and I didn't know how to be enough for both you and Jess so I called and asked for help."
"I'm sorry Tony."
"Hey, please stop apologizing, please. We really need to talk Michelle. There is so much we need to clear up."
"I know."
He grabbed his t-shirt. "Want me to help you put this on?"
"Yes please."
"I'll grab you your PJ bottoms as well. Let's get you comfy. Then the doctor will be here and he is going to have to restitch your head."
"It's getting late, I really need to fix this with Nick. I just don't think I can handle all this."
He took her hand. "When the doctor is here, I will call Nick and I'll help you get this sorted out, I promise. You can handle this honey and I'm going to help you through it."
He grabbed the wet towel and started to wipe the blood off her shoulder. It had now run all down her bra and stomach. As he edged closer to her breast he paused, "Is this ok? Do you mind?"
"I'm not going to pretend I'm not completely nervous and embarrassed but you have already seen me now."
"There is nothing to be embarrassed about sweetheart, you are the most stunning woman I have ever seen. And trust me, I'm so nervous my hands are shaking and I hope you don't think I'm a jerk but I don't think a day has gone past since I met you that I haven't thought about getting to remove your top...I would give anything though for it to have been under very different circumstances."
She smiled.
"It's nice to see you smile Chelle."
"Do I get a smile?"
That made Tony giver her more than a smile, he laughed. "Come here..." He gently rubbed the blood off her cheek, neck, shoulder and around the top of her bra. The bra was covered in blood, enough that it looked like it would have soaked through. He stopped. "How about I pull the new top on now and then I can take care of the rest?"
"OK. Do you think the doctor will be here soon? My head really hurts?"
"I'm not surprised. He should be here really soon. Hang in there honey, you are doing amazing."
He stretched his t-shirt collar out a lot so that he could basically just pull it over her head without touching her at all. Before she pulled her arms through the sleeves, he had he turn to the side a little. He ran his hands up her back to her bra clip and undid it.
He pulled his hands out and grabbed the towel again, as he went to slide his hand back under her top, she stopped him. "I know you are angry about everything that has happened but please no more yelling tonight Tony?"
God, he felt like he could cry hearing her ask him that. "I'm not angry at you Chelle but yes, no more yelling."
"Do you trust me?"
"With my life. I'll never forgive myself for what happened tonight because of how I acted."
"I understand you must have trouble trusting people after Nina."
Tony was really shocked. "Tonight was nothing about Nina. It was about me getting jealous and losing my temper because I felt out of control."
"Why out of control?"
"All I want is a chance with you and it the 1st day I finally get you out of the office and it ends up being a complete disaster." The blood was contusing to run down her cheeks and everything again and he could see she was going very pale. "I don't have to do this Chelle if you are too uncomfortable, the doctor can, but you are getting worse by the minute." He started to take his hand out from under shirt.
She caught his hand, "No, it's ok, I just didn't want you to touch me like that if you were still angry with me."
She was even more special and amazing that he could have imagined. Knowing that it is a big deal to her for him to touch her intimately made him feel special. He knew there wouldn't have been too many other guys that would have been special like that to her.
As he just about reached her breast, it was him this time that stopped. "You can't let me do this baby, let me think I do have a chance with you if you are going to leave or never be able to forgive me. Please don't let me think you will consider giving me a go if you don't think deep down I could be what you want."
"I thought today was about us giving things a go?"
"I'm not talking about a fling or something Chelle. I want a chance at something 'real' with you"
"I could never just have a fling with you Tony."
For a brief moment he was wanted to lunge at her until he remembered the horrible situation they were in and the fact that Chelle was getting worse by the minute.
He ran the cloth over her bare breast. He could feel blood on her stomach and everything. He had her lay back and lifted her top up completely. It didn't take him long once he could see what he was doing to clean her up. He could tell she was holding her breath the entire time and he felt like he was too.
When he finished, he leaned in and gave her a very tender kiss on the lips.
"This is going to get hard honey but we will get through everything, alright? You just have to trust me."
"I do. Can I have more of the pain tablets?"
"I think we need to wait for the doctor, he should be here any minute and I am sure he will want to give you a strong injection for the pain like this morning."
He kept the towel pressed up against the wound to try and stop the bleeding. He helped her pull the PJ bottoms on and then he asked if he could bring his mum in and introduce her. Michelle told him that was fine, although she felt nervous as hell meeting his mum in this condition.
He kissed her again before opening the door and calling for his mum and Jess.
Tony's mum Natalie slowly entered the room with Jess. He hugged his mum and then Tony introduced her to Michelle. Natalie had heard all about Michelle from Tony and the sight of her brought tears to her eyes. "Can I hug you?"
Michelle nodded and carefully stood up and allowed herself to be enclosed in Tony's mother's arms. When she pulled back Natalie spoke to them both. "Jess has filled me in on everything she can. I can't thank you both enough for what you have done. Michelle, I don't even know what to say...thank you for protecting my daughter like that,"
"Thanks Mrs Almeida. I am sorry I am in such a state."
"Call me Natalie." She sat down on the other side of Michelle and looked at her eye, then looked up at Tony, "Don't you have anything we can put on that until the doctor arrives?"
He shook his head. "I just keep applying a bit of pressure with the towel to try and stop the bleeding." Michelle interrupted them. "Tony what am I going to do about Nick?
"How do you feel about me calling him and explaining what has happened? You won't be able to be on the phone as soon as the doctor is here anyway.
Michelle was nodding her head. Jess got up and let Tony sit beside her. "Ok but I don't know what to do about tomorrow? I can't go."
"What was it meant to be?"
Jess and Natalie could already see the tears forming in Michelle's eyes. "Do you want us to wait outside?
Tony waited for Michelle's reaction. "Jess you already heard our screaming match. I am so sorry..."
"Michelle, none of this would have happened if it wasn't for me. I want to help."
Tony butted in. "I don't want to hear either of you two apologise again. Chelle, what was tomorrow all about and what were you meant to do?
She took a deep breath, "As I said, Dad was a Federal agent. He was killed 2 years ago tomorrow in the line of duty. Last year 15 of his colleagues and a few close friends all met at the cemetery to share stories about him with each other. I was meant to be taking the food because we have a picnic. Some of the others bring wine and beer, some bring flowers, all kinds of things. I was meant to phone Nick this morning to tell him what time so he could let everyone know."
Both Jess and Natalie gasped in shock and were unable to find words. Tony put the towel back on Michelle's head again, he was getting worried at how much it was bleeding. She flinched in pain. "I don't even know what to say Chelle. I can't even imagine losing one of my parents. I am just so so sorry."
Michelle tried to pull her head back away from the towel a bit but as soon as she did blood poured out getting into her eye, down her cheek. She tried to wipe her eye but she couldn't. Tony was getting really anxious. "Where's the fucking doctor?"
Jess jumped up, "I'll go call him again." Natalie went to get some fresh towels.
Tony cupped Michelle's chin. "I'll try and clean it baby. Just keep that eye closed."
"How bad is it Tony?"
He sighed, he couldn't sugar coat it for her, and she would see it for herself soon enough anyway. "Where the stitches have come out they have ripped your skin baby, so it is a lot wider and I think that's why it is bleeding so badly."
Natalie came back in with the fresh towels and handed them to Tony. "While I try and wipe this Chelle, why don't you tell me about Nick."
"Nick was Dad's best friend and partner for over 30 years. He has always been like a 2nd Dad to me. He doesn't have kids of his own so I guess he kinda looked at me like I was a daughter to him. When Dad was killed, Nick had me stay at his place for months afterwards because I just wasn't handling it very well. He had promised my Dad years ago that if anything ever happened to him he would always make sure I was ok. I couldn't have gotten through the last couple years if it wasn't for Nick."
Tony felt like even more of a fool for how he had acted. He was trying to wipe around Michelle's eye but she kept flinching back. "Sorry it hurts."
"I know honey, I'm sorry."
Jess came back in and told them the doctor would be here any minute. She stood staring at Tony trying to help Michelle. She was racked with guilt as she saw how much pain she was in. She felt like completely losing it herself but she was trying as hard as she could to keep it together.
Tony needed to get Nick's information from Michelle. "Baby, I'll call Nick when the doctor gets here. I'll explain what's happened and maybe he and I can work together on making sure everything gets sorted for tomorrow?"
"His number is in my phone, tell him I am so sorry. But Tony I can't go tomorrow."
He took her hand. "Why not baby?"
She looked around at Tony, his mother and sister. How could she explain to them that she would fall apart if she went tomorrow? She could barely make sense of anything in her own head right now. "I just can't..."
"Chelle, I can't even imagine how difficult it will be, especially after what has just happened at CTU but I don't want you to regret not going. I'll take you, I'll be by your side the entire time."
"Don't worry you can tell Nick I'll still get all the food and everything, I'll do everything I was meant to but I won't be staying."
Before Tony had a chance to respond, the door bell went. Jess ran to let the doctor in.
Tony and Natalie both stood up to allow the doctor to get in close to Michelle. He took one look at the wound and sighed. "What's happened?"
"I took my sweater off too roughly and I ripped the stitches..."
Tony butted in. "The buttons got caught on them."
"You probably should have gone to the hospital for this." He pointed to the sides of the wound wear the old stitches had ripped the skin. "You see how this has widened the wound and with each little tear mark it makes it very difficult for me to stitch it neatly." He studied Michelle's face and took her blood pressure. "You are very pale Michelle and your blood pressure is high. How are you feeling?"
Michelle was way too quick to respond. "I'm fine."
Tony shot her a look of disbelief. "You are not fine. You have been through hell today. You were having a panic attack when all this happened, you've..."
"Tony! What are you doing?" Michelle looked extremely hurt.
He bent down beside her, "He needs to know everything Chelle so he knows what to do for you."
"I didn't have a panic attack because of my eye, I had one because I realised how bad I screwed everything up."
"When are you going to give yourself a break Michelle? Anyone would have done the same thing. You were scared, I was yelling at you, accusing you of things, you had been assaulted, it's no bloody wonder you didn't want to get into a conversation about your Dad or make a damn phone call."
"Who cares what the reasons are, I still let people down and you can't act now as if none of it matters because you have been so angry at me all night."
The doctor told Tony and Michelle to calm down and then he had Michelle lie on her back so he could get to her eye. "I'm going to give you something for the pain first and then I'll try stitching the rest of this back up."
Tony stayed with Michelle until she had been given the needle and then he asked his mum to stay with her whilst he went and called Nick.
Natalie sat on the other side of Michelle and Jess joined them. Jess was teary. "All of this is my fault. I shouldn't have called you guys, none of this would have happened."
"It's not your fault Jess. You can't control what Sam did..."
"Yeah but you and Tony were so happy and now you guys keep fighting..."
"That's because I got freaked out Jess and didn't know how to handle the situation."
"I'm sorry about your Dad, Michelle." Natalie was holding Michelle's hand and rubbing Jess's back. "Do you mind if I ask where your mother is Michelle?"
"She left us a long time ago. I was only 4. My Dad raised my brother Danny and I. I haven't seen or heard from her since."
"I'm sorry."
The doctor told Michelle he needed her to keep completely still whilst he did the stitches. The room was silent. Natalie felt so bad for all of them. She could see how shaken up Jess was over the whole situation and she could see the pain on Michelle's face.
Just as the doctor was finished with Michelle, Tony walked back in. After he checked Michelle's wound he listened to the doctors instructions of how to look after the wound. He made it very clear that Michelle needed to try and keep calm and get some rest.
After the doctor was gone, Tony sat back down next to Michelle. "I had a really good chat with Nick. I explained who I was and told him what had happened the last couple days. He was completely shocked baby. He is taking care of the preparations for tomorrow. But he would really like you to come."
"Did you tell him I wasn't?"
"I told him you didn't want to but that I would talk to you about it again. We both think you will regret not going."
"You don't understand Tony, it's too soon after the other day. I'll spend the whole time thinking about what happened and I don't want to think about it."
"I do understand Chelle. I was there remember and both of us are going to have to deal with this...maybe this is a good place to start?"
"I'll just go the cemetery later on my own."
"I want to help you through this Chelle, I don't want you on your own."
"You have enough to worry about Tony. You need to take care of Jess. The last thing you need is a..."
Why are you shutting me out?"
"I'm not."
"You are. Don't you think we need to talk about everything that has happened?"
"I already know how pissed you have been Tony. I know how much I let you down before and upset you."
"Chelle I feel like all I've done all day is put my foot in it, upset you, say the wrong thing, do the wrong this and worst of all not know what to say. I wasn't angry, I was acting jealous – I told you, I know it's not any better and I had no right to act that way but everything I have done is all because I care about you. You said I had a chance with you Chelle and now already you are shutting me out."
Michelle jumped off the bed and started pacing the room.
"You need to lie down CHelle."
"I haven't shut you out. I told you about my Dad, do you get that I've never ever spoken to anyone about him. I let you talk to Nick." She looked at Natalie and Jess who were sitting together, Natalie with her arm around her daughter and both of their eyes glued to the floor. Michelle lowered her voice, "When you were trying to clean up the blood, I let you see me...touch me. How is that shutting you out?"
"I know and I know you were nervous..."
Jess and Natalie both got up and told them they would be in the next room. Tony was glad to for the privacy.
"I was trying to make you feel better, I was scared."
"You did make me feel better Tony. But I told you I couldn't just have a fling with you, that was me trying to open up to you and tell you how I feel about you."
"Yeah but through this whole thing Michelle you haven't once come out and said it."
"Come out and said what?"
Tony's voice was getting louder and louder. "I don't know what you want with me?"
"You haven't told me either Tony! I'm the one that kissed you, took your hand in holding. Fuck, I even asked you to kiss me in the hospital..."
"And the fact the I went crazy when I thought you were talking to another guy didn't give you the biggest fucking hint that this isn't a game to me, that what I am feeling is serious."
"You were like that because I was lying to you. Why haven't you just out right told me how you feel? I'm sick of putting myself out there with you and not knowing where I stand."
"I wouldn't let you go home by yourself tonight, I've been trying to hold you every second I can..."
"Because of what happened with Sam...
"Wait a minute, just wait a God damn minute...you think all of this, the way I have been acting is just because I feel guilty about what happened with Sam?"
"I'm not saying it in a bad way Tony but the truth is, I am here at your place tonight because of what happened..."
"I want to look after you yes but..."
"You asked me to coffee this morning Tony that's all, we didn't know that all this was going to happen." She was starting to feel light headed.
Tony could see she was looking unsteady and getting paler. "Sit down Michelle!"
She held on to the back of a chair but she didn't sit down, she felt too agitated."
Tony raised his voice. "I can't fucking believe this. What kind of prick person do you really think I am? Of course I feel guilty over what happened today. You were with me, helping me out and you get assaulted by some asshole. You don't think I am hating myself right now for putting you in that kind of danger and then not being able to stop you from getting hurt? After everything that happened with Nina, do you know I haven't been with another girl since? I haven't slept with anyone, fuck I haven't even held hands with a woman since her. I didn't think I'd ever put myself in a position to get hurt again. Then you come along and turn everything upside down for me. Couldn't you see how scared to death I was when I lifted your shirt up? And even though I knew it wasn't a romantic thing, it still felt intimate for me. Even though I knew the only reason I was allowed to be that close to you was because you were hurt, it made me feel closer to you. I wanted you to stay the night so I could look after you, know that you were alright and hopefully get closer to you. Yet twice now I have had to physically stop you from leaving, I've had to force you to talk to me and open up. I've had to stand by and watch you in pain and not be able to do anything about it. You won't even fucking listen to me when I tell you to sit down. Have I seriously screwed things up that bad Michelle? Have I disappointed you so much that I have ruined any chance I had with you?"
There was silence as they both tried to take everything in. Tony was so surprised at himself for his outburst. He was sure his mum and sister would have heard every word. She was swaying and clearly holding herself up by holding onto the back of the chair. He was so angry now that she wouldn't sit or lie down. He was so racked with guilt that this had happened to him. She still hadn't said a word.
"Why won't you fucking sit down? Why won't you answer my questions?"
She did as he asked and sat down. His words had shocked her to the core. She didn't even know where to start. "No you haven't screwed everything up... I feel like I am the one that has fucked everything up."
Michelle didn't know what else to say yet so she let the first thing that came to mind drop out of her mouth. "I haven't been with anyone since I met you either Tony."
He was blunt, not because he meant to be but because he was still so worked up. "Bullshit. I know about you and David."
"What?"
"Why do you think I barley even talk to the guy? I'm sick to death of hearing him go on and on about you. You couldn't have picked a less classy guy, He has told me all about what it is like to be with the 'amazing Michelle Dessler'!"
"And when was I supposedly with him?"
"A few months ago."
"And you just fucking believe him?"
"It's a little hard not to when you get given details down to the little tattoo you have on your ass."
Michelle was fuming. She was going to kill David. She stood up and started to undo her pants.
Tony's mouth dropped open. "What are you doing?"
"Clearly my word means nothing over his, so you can see for yourself Tony. I don't have a fucking tattoo." She turned around and started to pull her PJ bottoms down.
When Tony saw she was even pulling her underwear down his heart started racing. Was she seriously going to do this? "Chelle don't, you don't have to..."
"No, I do. Just fucking look Tony! Then maybe you will start thinking a little more of me then some slut who..."
"You are not a slut. And you have every right to be with him. I didn't own you."
She took a few steps backwards so that she was standing right in front of him with her back to him. She yanked her pants and underwear down to the top of her thighs showing Tony her entire backside.
He stood there speechless. In total awe of her. He had never wanted to touch something so bad in his life. He felt himself completely turned on.
"Any tattoo's Tony?...anything even close to one?"
He was still speechless. He reached his hand out to touch her but then pulled himself back. He couldn't believe she was doing this.
"I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. You are not a slut Michelle. I never thought that, I could never think that. I...God...I..."
She wasn't moving so he stepped in so he was only inches away from her. He reached down to the top of her underwear, he could feel her flinch. He slowly pulled them back up, purposely running the back of his hands along her bottom as he did so. Once they were up, he did the same thing with her PJ bottoms. She went to turn around but he stopped her. "You can't...not yet."
Her voice was quiet and shaky, clearly full of nerves. "Why?"
He sighed. "I wasn't expecting that, seeing you like that. Oh My God...I mean it's you. I've thought about you..." he stopped himself, conscious of not coming across as obsessed...which he was with her.
"Are you angry?"
His laugh was full of embarrassment. "No, I'm not angry Chelle. I'm...you've...I'm turned on, ok? I'm obviously turned on!"
There was an awkward silence.
"Look, you can't expect to do something like that...I mean show me that and not expect me to..."
"I can't believe I just did that but I am so angry that he would say that and that you would believe him. I meant what I said – I haven't been with anyone since we met. When you touched me before, that was the first time in a long, long time."
Tony stepped back so he could sit on the bed. "You can turn around now. I'm sorry Chelle."
She turned around, her face was bright red. Even though he was sitting, she could still tell he was turned on. She tried not look but couldn't help herself. Tony could tell she looked and he went red himself.
"I can't believe with everything that is happening, after the way I just yelled at you, that you would do that, just to prove that to me."
"I didn't know what else to do. I'm obviously doing a horrible job at expressing how I feel tonight, that was the one thing I could think of that you couldn't argue against. I don't like hearing you say all that stuff about yourself Tony, how could you say you hate yourself for what happened? I'm not good at opening myself up and I am scared to death of so many things right now and I am trying to figure out where I stand with you and I'm so, so angry with myself for everything. Maybe I thought if you could see how far I was willing to go to prove to you that I wasn't lying about David, you would understand that I'm not intentionally trying to shut you out or make you mad and upset."
Tony stood up and walked over to her. "Come here" he said softly as he sat down on the chair pulling her onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close.
"I'm in love with you Chelle. I don't just 'like' you, I am totally and utterly in love with you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I've been so crazy because I feel so out of control at the moment. I was floored when you kissed me but I was also scared to death because it made me just fall for you even harder and I'm petrified of feeling this way and not being able to have you. When Sam hit you today I was so angry with myself for not protecting you. Watching you tonight in so much pain and blood all over you has made me feel sick to my stomach. I am so lost at the moment, I just don't know what to do."
Tears were pouring down Michelle's cheeks. "I love you Tony. I have for a long time."
"You don't have to say that..."
She cupped his chin in her hand and made him look at her. "I mean it Tony. I love you. I'm scared just like you, I've never felt this way about anyone."
He pulled her down into a deep and passionate kiss. It was rough and intense as they both poured all of their emotions from the night into the kiss. He ran his hand across her stomach and she played with his hair.
Eventually they both pulled back and stared at each other. "How does your eye feel honey?
"It hurts. The cut is not too bad but the whole side of my face is throbbing."
"I wish I could do something to make you better. I do need to clean you up again."
"How do you think Jess is doing? She was pretty upset when she was in here."
"Shall we go check?"
Michelle nodded and hopped off him. He took her hand, "We still have a lot to talk about sweetheart." She agreed with him and then let him lead her out to the living room.
They weren't surprised to find Jess in tears being comforted by Natalie. When Jess looked up and saw them she ran into Tony's arms'. "I am so sorry. I can't believe what you guys are going through because of me. What can I do? There has to be something I can do to help."
Tony kept his arm around his sister. "Jess, you have to hear what I am saying, you did NOTHING wrong. I am glad you called me, I always want me to call me when you need me. I am your brother, I'd do anything for you. What happened today was Sam's fault and no one else's."
"Yeah but look at what it is doing to you guys."
Tony led both Jess and Michelle over to the couch and had his mum join them. "Look, you know I can never really tell you guys what goes on at work but I know you both saw plenty on the news that last couple days to know some pretty major things went happened. CTU was responsible for heading up the investigation. Michelle and I were heavily involved right from the start. The terrorists planted a bomb in our offices and we lost a lot of good people. It was probably one of the worst days of our lives." He looked at jess and his mom, "You both know how I have felt about Michelle now for a long time and during the course of the day we really leaned on each other. This morning we were going to go and have a coffee together, and that's when you called. So Jess, there is so much to all of this then what just happened with Sam."
Michelle could see Natalie was crying. She got up and put her arms around her. Natalie held her tight. "I've always been so proud of Tony and what he does but I don't think a day goes by that I don't worry about something happening. I don't think I could ever understand the stress you both must be under, or the bond you two must have from going through things like that together."
"I trust Tony with my life, he is my rock and I don't think I'd get through this job without him by my side."
"Michelle, you are an amazing young woman. What you did for my daughter today is something I'll always be in debt to you for. And I see how my son looks at you and I know how he feels about you and you make him so happy. I am so grateful to you for that. I never met Nina, but after the way she betrayed Tony I didn't know how he was going to recover from that and I know it is because of you that he has that glint back in his eyes and that cheeky little smile. Thank you."
Michelle looked at the the 3 of them and felt a sharp pain in her heart for what she missed out on without her own family. "You guys are so lucky to have each other." She looked at Natalie, "I wish my mother could have been half the mum you are."
Natalie took her hand. "It's your mother loss not to have someone so special as you in her life Michelle. I want you to know, I am here for you. I know we have only just met but I already feel such a bond with you, I want to be a part of your life."
Tony sat behind Michelle with his legs out straight and pulled her in between them so her back was leaning into his stomach. "I know you don't want to talk about this baby, but we absolutely have to. Tomorrow is a really important day for you and I want you to go."
"Tony please don't go there..."
"I have to Chelle, I don't want you to regret not going. I won't leave your side the entire time."
Both Jess and Natalie said they would like to go if Michelle wanted them there for support.
Michelle stood up, Tony tried to hold her but she pulled out of his grip. "You are all so lovely and I appreciate what you are trying to do but I just can't. I'm not strong like you Tony..."
"You are so much stronger than you think Chelle. Come back."
This is why I didn't want to tell you about the call from Nick."
"So were you just going to pretend tomorrow wasn't happening if I didn't find out?'
She was pacing the room. All Tony wanted was for her to sit down. She was meant to be taking it to easy and yet she had been up and down all night, not to mention so riled up.
"Yes...no...maybe. I don't know."
"Don't you want to be there and have your time to share good memories about your Dad with all the people that knew him best? I know Nick wants to see how you are doing. Please come sit back down."
This was the one subject Michelle really hadn't learnt how to handle. It made her so flustered she could never sit down, it just mad her want to run away and hide. "I can't sit." She steadied herself on the edge of the dining room table. "Of course I want to be there for Dad. I feel like a horrible daughter for not even feeling this way. I don't know how to handle this Tony, I don't know how to talk about it, I don't know how to think about it. I just want to disappear. Or go to sleep and wake up on Monday."
Natalie watched as Michelle started to sway, she was clearly having trouble standing up. She was worries she was going to pass out or something. She jumped up and steadied Michelle. Tony also got up and started pacing the room. "Tell me what is holding you back so much about tomorrow. I feel like you there is something you are thinking or worried about that you are not saying."
There was and Tony's words freaked Michelle out even more, like he was too close to figuring out what she was thinking. It made her star to panic, "Nothing. Look, maybe I should just go, take some time to think about things on my own..."
"Don't you dare, don't you even think about it!"
Michelle started to make her way across the room. "Look, it will give you some time with your family..."
"Stop running away from this!"
"I'm not."
"Yes you are!"
"So what if I am? What does it matter?"
Natalie spoke in a soothing voice. "Michelle, we all care. What you are feeling is going to follow you where ever you go. You can't escape it."
Tony raised his voice. "What exactly happened to your father?"
Michelle stared at Tony. He was close, was too close to making her blurt everything out and then it would all be too 'real', way too much to deal with.
Tony could tell by the way she looked at him that there was so much more to all of this then she had told him. Something that was scaring the life out of her. He was shocked to death when dropped her gaze and said very calmly. "I'm leaving." With that she turned and started to make her way to the door,
Tony jumped over the sofa and caught her-. "Like hell you are."
"You can't make me stay."
"Just watch me Chelle." They stared each other down. "What happened? I'll pick up the damn phone and call Nick."
Tears started streaming down her face. She tried to move past him but he wrapped his arms around her and held her so tight she could barely move."
"I'm begging you Tony, don't do this. Please dear God, don't do this."
"You promised me before you wouldn't leave. You promised me Chelle you wouldn't do this. What has got you so scared?"
"Please Tony."
"You were willing to go to jail the other day, the things you have been through...what the hell could be making you so scared?"
Her breathing started to get out of control again. She was struggling to catch her breath, it was so short and shallow. Tony released his tight grip on her. His heart started to pound, she was going to have another panic attack. "Shit, No! Shit...Chelle baby..." He tried rubbing her back and telling her to take deep breaths buts it wasn't working. "Jess grab me my medicine box."
Jess ran into the kitchen and got the box and took it to Tony. Michelle was bent over at this point trying to speak, trying to cry, trying to breath but couldn't do any of them.
Tony pulled a valium injection out. "Baby, you are having a panic attack, I'm going to give you some valium, it will help."
Natalie grabbed a paper bag and handed it to Michelle, "Try breathing into this honey."
Michelle got out the word 'bomb' but that was it. Tony knew she was finally trying to tell him something. She slid down against the wall down onto the floor. Tony was scared to death. "He held her hand, "Just concentrate on breathing sweetheart, just breathe."
As the injection started to take effect, her breathing slowed down. He had given her quite a large dose.
Tony had Jess hold Michelle's hand as he went to get her some water. Natalie followed Tony into the kitchen. "She would take her to the hospital?" Tony turned to his mum and fell into her arms. "What have I done? Look what I did to her? I pushed her, I lost my temper again,"
"She will be ok sweetheart."
"You don't understand, she has never had a panic attack before tonight and now she has had two. Because of me. You should see the shit she goes through at work and how calm and collected she can remain and now because of me this is happening. I'm a bastard, an absolute fucking bastard mum. I just love her so much. I get so scared and lose control but I just don't understand. What could possibly be scaring her so much?"
Natalie just held her son and told him she loved him and that Michelle would be ok. Within a minute he rushed back to Michelle's side. She was a lot calmer, instinct she went to rub her teary eyes and yelped in pain. Tony grabbed her hand, "I love you, I love you much. I am so sorry." He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the couch. He sat with her still in his arms, afraid to let go. He could tell the injection had taken full effect as she looked as calm as he had seen her in days.
"You know how there was a bomb at CTU a couple days ago Tony?"
"Yes baby."
Her words were slurred; he hoped he hadn't over done it with the valium.
"I thought you had been killed in it. You ran upstairs to get Paula and then it went off and I couldn't find you. Then I saw a body lying under a table and I thought it was you."
He stroked her hair. "But I am safe baby."
I went to visit my Dad at work the day he was killed. We were meant to have lunch. We were walking out the door and he realized he had forgotten his wallet and so he went back into the office. There was a huge explosion. Someone had planted a bomb, just like what happened at CTU. I ran back inside to find him, I was screaming his name and he wasn't answering. I looked under the table in his office and he was there. I tried to pick the table up off him but there was all this other stuff on it and it was too heavy. I was screaming his name but he wouldn't answer. He was dead."
Tony felt like his heart stopped. Never in a million years would he have imagined this is what she had been through. Tears poured uncontrollably down his cheeks.
"When I saw that man lying under the table at CTU and I thought it was you, all I could picture was my Dad. And that I had lost you in that same way.
You want me to go to this thing tomorrow and share happy memories. I can't think of any of those right now. All I can think about it those 2 bombs and how I almost lost you in exactly the same way. It still doesn't feel real that you are with me, that you survived. When you are holding me, it's the only time I can feel it's real and that you are still here.
I was so close to Dad, he was everything to me. But over the last year, you have become to mean everything to me. What would I have done if I had lost you? Don't make me go there and pretend that I am ok, don't make me go and have to hear about that day again. Please."
Tony was trying to take it all in but it was so much to register. His tears were covering her. He pulled her in closer to his body and held on a tight. "I won't make you go anywhere sweetheart. I am going to hold you all day, I'm going to show you that I am here with you. I am so sorry. Words will never be enough to explain to you how sorry I am. You are the bravest, most incredible woman in the world Chelle. How you have gotten through all this, I'll never know. How you managed to keep working after that happened and did what you did is unbelievable. Your dad is looking down on you and he is so proud of you. I love you with all of my heart."
Tony looked up at his mum and sister who were in complete and utter shock. Words failed them.
"I really don't have to go?"
He kissed her on the lips. "No. I'll call Nick in the morning. I am sorry I pushed you so hard."
"You didn't know Tony."
They say like that for a long time. Tony just in shock and Michelle battling the valium. Tony looked at his watch. It was 3am. Michelle still had blood on her and the t-shirt which was now also soaked with his tears, "How about we get cleaned up and I'll hold you in bed?"
"I'd like that." She gave him a smile.
"God, I love your small."
He helped Michelle up. Natalie said that she would stay in the spare room with Jess in case they needed anything. They all hugged before Tony led Michelle to his bedroom.
tHANKS FOR READING BUT PLEASE REVIEW. I NEED TO KNOW IF I SHOULD KEEP WRITING THE STORY AND POSTING HERE OR NOT OR NOT. CHEERS