-Disclaimer: I own nothing of course!-

-Jasper's PoV- -Chapter 3- "Heart attack."

If Vampires could have a heart attack I would be dead. Well, dead again.. dead for real?
I would have died so many times during the last six days of my immortal life.
'She lied, Alice fucking lied.' That's all could think of, that and the pain. I guess the burning is not the worse part of being a Vampire after all, sure it sucks but I would trade the burning caused by the most exquisite blood for what I am feeling right now.
Wow, who knew I could be so dramatic? 'Alice lied, she lied!'

For the past six decades I believed she was my mate. I believed every single thing I had to live through during the Wars was worth it because of her. Everything I did and didn't do since we met was just for her, to make her happy. Allowing myself to hope her words in the dinner were true, to believe she was mine, drinking animal blood, joining the Cullen coven, five Master's degrees, countless hours spent in High school, millions spent in cars, clothing, her every whim and wish were my commands. All for her.

Funny how I was deceived for so long. Quite impressive really, I wonder where the hell was my brain during the last decades? How was she able to make a fool of me when I know every single emotion that those around me feel? Quite impressive indeed. She was able to lie to me about her feelings so fucking easily for over sixty years.
I guess if I am honest wit myself for a moment I always knew something was wrong, I just thought somehow a part of me was broken during the Wars, 'Who cares, I don't wanna be honest!' Yeah, I just don't care about honesty right now. I wonder why she even bothered to lie to me in the first place?

When I saw them, that was the first imaginary heart attack I had in the last six days. Stupid Vampire memory, I will never forget it. 'Fuck!' I would rather die than see that image again, would rather be with Maria... 'Fuck no.' Yeah, I am not that dramatic, really.
But dying? I could go with that. Rather die than to see them fucking again. Fucking.
Funny how we never did that in sixty years. She was too much of a prude for anything kinky, only with me apparently, there was nothing prudish in the way they were going at it.
I groan, there is that fucking image again. I had never seen Alice like that. Or him. God I wonder when they started.

A very small part of my brain is trying very hard to assure me it couldn't possibly be long ago or that this was the first time, but maybe that part of my brain is in denial. That would be just fucking perfect really, Jasper Hale, no, Jasper Whitlock, the empath that can't even accept or deal his own fucking emotions. I wonder if everyone else knew. I want to believe we were all deceived, I really like Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmet, I would be very disappointed if I have to kill them all once I finally loose it.

If it wasn't for them I wonder if Alice would have looked for me at all six decades ago.
I wonder why she lied. We could have been friends all this years, we could have been just that, friends, I could have been happy with them while searching for my real mate. 'Oh God all this years wasted.' She could be anywhere, if she even exists at all, she could be dead too.
I am going to be sick. 'Fuck me, Vampires can't get sick'. I wish I could just die.

After the shock of seeing my supposed mate fucking my brother I ran. I just ran and ran for three days. I didn't know where I was going until I saw the first Texas sign. So apparently my feet are taking me to Peter and Charlotte. They knew all this time, they told me so many times, so many I can't even remember the exact number, even with my Vampire memory. 'Fuck me' I was so pissed, all I saw was red as soon as I entered Texas. Maybe Peter will be kind and kill me. 'Don't be stupid Jasper' It was stupid of me to think that, he wouldn't kill me just because I ask. 'Maybe if I threaten Charlotte?' Yes, that is just perfect.

So I finally had a plan, seconds away from their home. I coulnd't hear anything. I crashed against the front door, no point on knocking when one is looking for a fight after all.
I followed their scents. 'Fuck me!' They were laying on the floor looking oh so very submissive. 'Fuck Peter!' That won't do. I throw Peter against the wall and grab Charlotte by her neck. I wait a few seconds for Peter to attack, I don't mind waiting just a few more seconds for death, but all I hear is a whispered 'I love you' from Peter. 'Fuck me!' He didn't attack me. Charlotte didn't even flinch or made a sound. 'Fuck Peter and Charlotte!'
I wasn't even planing to fighting them back. 'Fuck them!'

No point in coming here then. I let go of Charlotte and I finally lost it. The memory makes me chuckle now, me sobbing on the floor hugging myself. Fuck Alice and Edward and fuck Peter and Charlotte for not attacking me then. Can't a man just die when he wants to? I sobbed some more just because I couldn't stop myself, even knowing it's very unlikely Peter will let me forget about it. Ever.

A few minutes after that they were both hugging me. 'Fuck them I don't need hugs.' I thought but I was too lost to even try to push them away. 'She lied, she lied.' I kept repeating to myself in my head, at least I really hope it was in my head. I don't do very good with emotional break downs it seems. Figures, the empath that can't even control himself and his feelings.

I feel sick again and that's saying a lot, stupid hugs I didn't want support I just wanted to feel sorry for myself and to die. But no, Peter and Charlotte wouldn't let me have that, not even because I'm their Sire. No respect. 'Ungrateful bastards.' I was feeling even worse with them hugging me, 'Jasper Whitlock doesn't need hugs!' I chanted to myself and made my way to the couch. I tell them that they were right all along but I'm sure they all ready knew because of my little emotional outburst. 'Fuck, control yourself Whitlock.'

"There is somewhere we need to be Major." I hear him say and suddenly I feel there is something wrong. 'Your supposed mate fucking your brother maybe?' It's been a while since he called me Major so I suppose it's something serious.
I look at him expecting him to elaborate. Expecting Peter to be anything other than fucking cryptic? I don't know why I even bother.
"I wish I could say more Major, but I'm not even sure, I only know it's important and we are already running late. We need to make our way North. Hopefully I will know more the closer we get there."

I shrug, I don't really care, since they won't kill me, at least running will help keep me distracted. We ran for two days and by then it was pretty clear the direction we were heading was back to Forks. 'Fuck Peter I'm not going back there.' It wasn't because I was afraid, not at all. Oh no, if I went back and saw them again I would kill them. It took every bit of the self control I won over the last six decades not to kill them on the spot. Yeah, while they were fucking, that would have been really funny though, for me at least.
Every bit of self control and I didn't kill them because of Carlisle and Esme.

But of course, Peter being Peter managed to convince me, Forks suddenly didn't seem like a bad idea, the mutts were in Forks, it would only take me crossing a thin, little imaginary line for them to attack me. So I kept of following Peter. I decided I would wait until this 'something important' that had Peter so worried was settled and then I would go play a little with the dogs.

It all changed in the woods, hearing Bella's faint heartbeat gave me my second imaginary heart attack of the week, after that everything is a little blurry.
I remember the Wolves trying to attack us, Charlotte and I only trying to avoid injuries and injuring them, Peter screaming at me and then the pain. Oh God it was so much pain.
I couldn't imagine a human being able to survive such pain. The blood was the next thing I noticed, well not exactly, Bella covered in blood was what I noticed. I think something inside me broke right then. That or I just had another imaginary heart attack.

Bella had been so kind since the start, towards me and the rest of the family, I never felt her fearing us, not even Rosalie, all I felt from her was love, for every single one of us, even after her birthday, when I was throwing myself at her I didn't feel fear, I felt guilt, calm and forgiveness. That's what stopped me, not Emmet or Rosalie holding me, or Edward throwing me back, Bella's guilt, calm and forgiveness, even though she was in a house full of Vampires, one of which was going crazy for the thirst of her blood.

She is so special and now she was dying. Her pain made it really hard for me to approach her. It wasn't physical pain, even with all the blood, all I could see was a single cut on her neck. The other scent in the clearing was Edward's. After finally getting to her and trying to wake her up, she opened her eyes for a moment and all the pain went away, she whispered my name and I saw her mouth twitch slightly into a smile and all I could feel from her was happiness, peace and calm. She really is something special. Hearing her saying my name made me feel like my dead heart missed a beat. That was very odd.

Special people like her shouldn't suffer, the world was made a better place just because of her. I had to save her. I made sure enough venom came out of my mouth and into her as I bit her four times. It had been over a hundred years since the last time I bit someone to turn into a Vampire. I didn't even feel the thirst, I tasted her blood, there was no avoiding that of course and God it tasted so good, but I didn't feel the need to drink any of it.

After I heard Jacob saying Edward did this to her, I wished I had killed him six days ago. I had the opportunity and if I had, Bella would have been safe right now. 'Fucking Edward tried to kill her.' After all the time he spent with her trying to keep her safe, all the love he supposedly felt for her, he left her? He said he didn't want her anymore?
I guess it shouldn't surprise me, since he was fucking my wife a few days ago, but still, I can't imagine anyone stupid enough to do something like that to Bella.

'Oh God I could kill him right now.' He told her she had been a waste of his time and then tried to kill her. 'Fucking Edward. Fuck.' As it was expected Edward was long gone already and Peter didn't know exactly where he was. It doesn't matter, I have forever to kill him, chasing him around will be entertaining when the time comes. Right now there are more important things, one important thing, Bella.

After a few more words with Jacob and learning about my family leaving town I made my way home with Bella in my arms. I couldn't feel anything from her, not even the pain from the burning. I could only hope somehow she wasn't feeling it. Peter and Charlotte were following closely, as well as the wolves. I hoped the family didn't take much away with them, especially with the wolves around the house, dogs need food and all that.

I made my way quickly into the house, and up the stairs until I got to my study. The only room in the house that was just mine. Alice couldn't care less about my books and other things I kept here. Thank God I had a big couch in it. It will do just fine for Bella to rest on for now.
I set her down and sigh, with her here suddenly it seems like everything will be fine.
"Jacob" I call for him softly. I am not sure how much Bella can hear, if it wasn't for her breathing and heart beat she could be dead. 'She is fine, she will be fine.' I chant inside my head as Jacob enters the room.

I move away from Bella and for the first time since her change started and I feel the pain from the burning, but still she makes no noise. I gasp as move next to her quickly, placing a hand on her arm again and the pain stopped. I turn to watch Jacob.
"In the first drawer there, you will find money, please have one of your friends go and buy whatever it is you'll need for the next days." I watch him hesitate. "Jacob please, it seems like Bella is not in pain as long as I am touching her, please don't make me go get the money myself."
After he hesitates again I sigh and send Jacob the pain I felt from Bella.

I only did it for two seconds, just to make my point and it was more than enough to send Jacob to his knees gasping and new tears formed in his eyes.
"That is what she was feeling when I took my hands away from her Jacob and if I leave her it won't stop after two seconds. The burning lasts three days." I added calmly.
"Three days.." Jacob shuddered standing up and moving quickly to the drawer. "Please stay with her... please if you can don't let her feel it." I nodded.
"Please get whatever you and your friends need. Don't let the other humans know you are here though. I am not sure what Carlisle said in the Hospital and School to have everyone else out of town."

I watched Jacob leave and placed my other hand on her arm, I won't let her feel pain again.
"Peter, Charlotte" I called softly. They were in the room after a few seconds.
"Jasper?" Peter asked hesitantly.
"Peter, her pain, it started after I removed my hands from her, I went back to touching her quickly and now the pain is gone. I can't feel a thing and she hasn't made a noise." Peter and Charlotte glanced at each other for a moment and then back at me.

I sensed something odd coming from them but my mind was racing trying to figure out the reason why she I couldn't feel any pain. It's good that she isn't feeling the burning of course, I'm not complaining about that, but if for some reason the transformation isn't working and she dies...
'God please no, please don't let her die.'

"Jasper, it's best if you don't leave her side then, for whatever reason she is not in pain and that's all that matters for now." Charlotte said gently. I nodded.
"Charlotte you need to clean her up and bathe her." I carried Bella into Rosalie's bathroom,
I won't leave her, even for the bath, I will close my eyes of course, but keeping her from feeling pain is much more important that the little embarrassment she will feel when she finds out. I waited for Charlotte. Waiting is all we will do now, for the next three days.

A/N: I would like to say thanks again for your reviews ^^ I'm having lots of fun writing this story, though I'm really nervous too, it's the first time I write something and feel comfortable enough with it to show others, bless the anonymity of the Internet!

I also want to say sorry for some spelling mistakes I noticed in the first two chapters and for the many more that will come. Tried editing them but the story options are not being very friendly with me. I try to check word for word but something is bound to pass my attention, English is not my first language, so just pretend they aren't there and be gentle or I'll bring the Denali Coven sooner than I had planned and start typing conversations between them in Spanish without translating for all of you English speaking people! *Insert evil laugh.* ^^

I hope this chapter answers some of your questions, sorry for being so cryptic but it will be worth the wait I hope! I'm not planning on making this story full of angst and hurt, I'm more into happy things with a little drama here and there and lots of naughty bits, Vampires being so hot and all, I wonder how they ever get out of bed, so don't expect 15 chapters of 'Poor little Bella feeling so very worthless' and such. Anyway, next chapter is almost done too, Peter still has a phone call to make and will give out lots of info on Bella. In Chapter 5 our favorite Doctor will make an appearance.