Chapter 5
She was pale like death. But the beeping machines around her told him that she was still alive. And though he hated hospitals- the sounds calmed him. He had sat for ten hours in the waiting area while she was in surgery. The doctors tried to make him leave, but he simply refused to go.
While he had waited, strange things had happened to him- his feelings had come like thieves in the night, his almost breakdown had left him numb and vulnerable, cut open, and suddenly tenderness washed over him, an insatiable longing to be held and kissed, to cling to her with all his might, never to let her go…where did that come from?
For once, he didn´t push the emotions away- he simply let them claim him.
Lisbon. She had to survive. He needed her so much it hurt like hell. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him. How much he hated himself for rejecting her. How much he wished he had allowed her to kiss his lips, breathe into his mouth, touch his tongue with hers.
He shut his eyes, shaking from the torrent his emotions evoked in him- he felt weak and hurting.
Please, Lisbon, he thought- help me. Make it better. Let ME make it better, please.
xMentalistx
He only went to CBI headquarters to shower, shave and change.
The rest of the day he spent at the hospital, rarely leaving Lisbon´s side. She was kept in a drug-induced coma for the first seven days, seven days which Jane spent just watching her, pondering his feelings for her. He felt strange, like a lovesick schoolboy, waiting for his dream girl to reciprocate his confessions…
Her attacker had been caught three days after she´d been injured. The usual suspect: an instable brother of an even more instable murderer Lisbon and her team had arrested. No lack of lunatics in this world. Cho had to restrain Jane forcefully to keep him from ripping the guy´s throat out when they had interrogated him.
How beautiful she was, he´d never taken the time to really look at her. He´d always taken her for granted, his companion, for him to irritate and annoy…now she was so quiet, ethereal, his little angel fighting for her life. He bit back the tears- please, don´t let her die…she can´t die.
He held her hand, caressing it with his thumb. When she woke up, he would be there. And he would stay. He would kiss her- a thousand times, everywhere. For once he wouldn´t let her do all the work- he would be there for her like she had been there for him. And he would never let her go.
On day eight the doctors took her out of the coma. Jane stood at Lisbon´s head while the medical staff fumbled with the lines and tubes, finally everybody disappeared, and he was alone with her again.
He whispered tender words of love to her, urged her to wake up- he so much hoped she would open her green eyes and look at him.
But it went dark before the effect of the drugs wore off- Jane fell asleep in the uncomfortable hospital chair like almost every night, his head on Lisbon´s mattress, next to her hand.
xMentalistx
Her mouth felt as if she had chewed on a piece of cotton. Her head hurt tremendously, she felt stiff and tired.
Slowly Lisbon opened her eyes and found herself in a dark room- just some small lights were visible and a slight shimmer came from the gap beneath the door, which had been left slightly ajar.
Not home. The beeping sounds told her she was in a hospital- so she was still alive and obviously hadn´t been taken by her attacker.
She sighed with relief and moved her hand, instantly meeting something soft and warm- she started to touch the "something" softly, it felt like hair, curly, smooth like silk…her hand started stroking, met skin, a nose, pliant lips- she jerked back. She wasn´t alone. Her visitor started to stir, yawned heartily and sat up in confusion. Lisbon recognized him immediately in the faint back light from the door: Jane.
The relief to see him, to be close to him again was so great that her tears started to fall immediately. She couldn´t stop them, she just looked at him and cried and cried when he switched on her bedside lamp , leaving the room dimly illuminated.
He looked at her with wide eyed wonder, as if he hadn´t really expected to find her there. Then he saw the tears streaming down her face- and rushed to her side immediately. He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her flush against him, taking care not to put too much pressure on the wound on her abdomen.
"Teresa", he whispered softly against her ear, "it´s me, I´m here. You`re save, nobody´s gonna hurt you anymore. Don´t cry, we found you just in time, thank god. You must sleep, regain your strength, my little one."
Lisbon cried all the harder. She was in his arms, he held her and called her his "little one"? She clutched him tightly, not wanting to let go. She felt so vulnerable, bare, cut open, she needed him desperately.
They spent the better part of an hour in each other`s arms, holding, touching, caressing, her fingers in his hair, his hands on her face- they just couldn´t stop. Eventually he pulled back slightly to look at her. She looked pale and tiny, but so sweet he wanted to devour her then and there. He remembered how she had pleasured him in his need, eased his pain, unselfishly taking his cruel rejection when he had denied her the kiss she´d been craving- this time, he would take care of her. He would deny her nothing. She could have whatever she wanted.
He was hers.
xMentalistx
Lisbon felt warm and protected- she looked at him and couldn´t believe he was here.
His shirt was unbuttoned to the breast bone, which gave him a rather roguish look. He was so sexy- Lisbon sighed.
"See something you like?", Jane asked, smiling brightly, "No problem- it´s all yours for the taking."
"Jane, you really don´t have to…"
Without warning he leant over and pressed his lips to hers- Lisbon´s eyes widened in shock, but she kissed him back immediately. He tasted like heaven- he was warm and soft and sweet and he was so uniquely Jane, she wanted to wrap herself in him, melt into him.
She had never felt something like this before.
"Oh yes, I have to," he murmured against her lips, "I need to, Lisbon. The last days I nearly went insane with want- I need you close to me. So please- don´t deny me this."
How could she?
How could she- when her heart screamed for him too?