Bookends By: Bella's Executioner.
Rating: M- this means if you're under 16 you are agreeing to break your own ToS by reading this and I'm not your mother so be responsible for yourself.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner.
A/N: Bookends is the very first fanfiction I started writing. It's been on this site, moved and come back. It has errors, fuck ups and lots of proofs that I'm human but it also has all of my heart and soul in it. I welcome you into this world of pain and love and hope that you enjoy. I also welcome your thoughts as you read—pm me or review and I'll be happy to discuss the story with you.
Thanks as always to my amazing beta- TwilightMomofTwo
Chapter 39: Words that must be said.
-**-Bookends-**-
"Yes, we speak of things that matter, With words that must be said." (The Dangling Conversation, Paul Simon)
I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
'Til the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm Mmm... I don't know... Mmm Mmm... Mmm Mmm...
Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older, too
(Landslide, Fleetwood Mac)
-**-Bookends-**-
EPOV (bachelor party December 29th, 2017)
"I think she likes you!" Jazz shouted at me as the blond started to wiggle on stage.
I rolled my eyes and slammed another shot.
It was bad enough that it was only Carlisle and Jazz throwing me a bachelor party…well Kate and MJ tagged along… but where they chose to take me was fucking ridiculous.
"I think he," I stressed the pronoun, "is just looking for another five in his g-string."
Jazz laughed and ordered another round for me. He was refraining from drinking since he was driving tonight. Carlisle made friendly with the bartender. And Kate jumped up on stage to get down and dirty with said ambiguous stripper.
I was going to need therapy for this shit.
"A drag club?" I glared at my idiot baby brother.
"Oh come on. You know if Em and Rose were here that they'd insist we visit this place."
I shook my head, nursing too much more alcohol, and turned to my adopted father.
"So you're working on your masters degree?" he asked the bartender—who was one of the few actual women in the place.
She smiled. "Yes, sir. I had a few rough starts as a kid, but I'm doing alright for myself now."
"Excuse me," I said, leaning over to interrupt their conversation, and asked for the bottle instead of wasting time with shots.
She glared at me. Something about her was familiar.
"Have we met before?... Lisa, right?" I asked, swaying a little on my feet. I gripped the bar for support, blinking to keep her in focus.
Fucking lightweight, Cullen.
She sighed and handed me the bottle without me asking for it.
"I'll let that one pass since you're obviously wasted…and since you're too cute to be mad at," she told me.
"Yeah, we've met before. You're Steve, right? The guy that Kate brought to my bar in Seattle. The one who kept asking me where Bella was."
"Edward," I mumbled.
I tried to remember what she was talking about. It was fuzzy but I did recall sitting at a bar wondering where Bella was. I woke up with a tattoo the next morning.
"And the name's Tracy," she clarified.
She smiled at Carlisle and turned to help other patrons.
I frowned.
"I don't think she likes me," I shouted at Carlisle over the all too predictable number of It's raining men.
He laughed and slapped my shoulder. "Nah, that's exactly how women treat you when they desperately want you, Edward. I swear."
I scowled as he teased me.
I didn't even fucking want to be here. I didn't need a bachelor party. I just needed Bella.
From the second we walked into this club I wanted to go home.
I hated wasting time away from my girl.
And the longer I spent in a club full of cross-dressing men, the more I started to fear the inevitable proposition. Try as I might, my intoxicated brain couldn't bleach out the image of a dude on his knees sucking my cock. It wasn't even something I'd ever, for any small amount of time, considered. But here I was…in the land of no men, fighting the urge to bolt for the door…and the continued kisses being blown my way from various performers on stage was not helping to ease that anxiety at all, either.
Jazz, designated driver extraordinaire, was talking to Kate's partner, MJ, about the merits of body piercing for strippers.
"Nipple rings are asking for a bloody tit during a cat fight," MJ was explaining to him.
I spotted an empty chair near the stage and staggered over to plop my ass down.
Everything was spinning slightly.
"Oh…Jesus fuck," Carlisle murmured, coming to sit next to me.
"Troubles, old man?" I yelled.
He rolled his eyes and glared at me.
"Yes. I just caught sight of my…fans," he spat.
For the first time in my entire life, I saw Carlisle Cullen blush.
I was too drunk to give a fuck so I just laughed my ass off.
"Fans? Did you join a boy band I didn't know about?"
He sighed. "No. I have women…"
"You have women?" I echoed.
He sighed again. "There are these women who work with me who…. sort of throw themselves at me."
He blushed again-pink cheeks and forehead.
I couldn't help it. I laughed hard enough to nearly puke.
Carlisle was a good-looking motherfucker. Even I thought he was a handsome. There wasn't a woman alive who wouldn't at least flirt with him if they had the opportunity.
"Shut up," he grumbled.
That was when the stalker twins found us.
"Oh shit," he whispered just as the profusion of tits and ass came flying over to our table.
"Dr. Cullen! It is you!" one of them yelled. She was wearing a skin-tight leopard print dress. The neckline was cut low enough to flash the goods.
And good they were.
I fucking loved tits.
I shook my head.
Bella's were better. Bella's were the best.
The other one squeaked with her excitement over finding the good doctor. She was wearing a pair of bright red leather pants.
Fuck me. How the hell did she breathe in those things?
She bent over in front of me and her leopard print thong winked at me.
Leopard must be in season…wonder if that makes them wild cats…wild kitties? Untamed pussies?
I laughed.
Two pairs of hungry female eyes were instantly on me.
"Oh…is this your son that's getting married?" Leopard dress lady asked.
I sobered up a little at the way both of them looked at me…like I was something tasty to eat.
"Edward," Carlisle said. "Meet Annie…" Leopard dress waved.
"And Tami…" Leather girl winked.
I lifted my hand for a simple wave. "Sup."
They both giggled like I'd said something funny.
I looked around for more alcohol.
I hated the very smell of the shit when I raised it to my lips. But the more I thought about tomorrow, the more I needed to not think about tomorrow. I took another drink and amused myself with more As my uncle's world turns.
"So…what brings you ladies to Port Angeles…and…this…fine establishment tonight?" Carlisle asked politely.
The dude was so smooth. He was probably just as drunk as I was but you'd never notice it.
The one he called Tami spoke first.
"Just enjoying a Friday night out and about. We happened to overhear you talking about this place last week…Wanted to stop by and let you know that everything is ready for your trip this week…no medical emergencies as of late."
I rolled my eyes. She was a nurse?
Leave it to Carlisle to have a fucking Grey's Anatomy melodrama of a life.
I hoped like hell that my drunk-ass brain stored this information for later. I'd bet Esme would love to hear about the gals Carlisle worked with.
"And I made sure to check with Skycap…everything is a go for the flight tomorrow. You're still certain you won't need an attendant?"
I slapped my hand over my mouth before I shouted out what I was thinking.
A flight attendant.
A goddamn flight attendant and a nurse. Tami and Annie… T n' A?
What the fuck was this…General Hospital?
I sat back and grinned as I watched the soap opera of my uncle's life.
"Thank you, ladies," he said, nodding his head in appreciation. They both blushed and giggled at the sight of his smile.
"It was no problem at all, Dr. Cullen," one of them said.
"Anything for you," the other chimed in.
I'd just brought the bottle to my lips when they said it. I snorted and started coughing to keep from choking on my drink.
Carlisle took advantage of the situation.
"Edward," he yelled, slamming me on the back with his hand. I growled as he continued to hit me. "Need to be more careful, kiddo. Ladies, if you'll excuse us…I really need to see to my son."
He helped me up from my chair as if I had asked for him to, and started to move me back towards the bar.
Both chicks offered flirty goodbyes to us… I was pretty damn sure they both pinched my ass as they walked past us, too.
Fucking wildcats for sure and not shameful about it one bit.
Once we were back at the bar, Carlisle started mumbling under his breath about close calls and a need to retire.
Jazz looked over to make sure we were okay and directed my attention the stage with a tilt of his head.
My mind went blank when the dude dressed like Tina Turner puckered his lips and shouted.
"Congratulations to the groom-to-be!"
Against my best efforts to not picture it, I was right back to the scary image of a dude on his knees in front of me.
I shook my head hard.
Fucking drag strip clubs and dumbass family members…and booze. Fucking booze making my mind go there.
The waitress, also actually a woman just like the bartender, squeezed between the two of us at the bar. That's how I figured out she was authentic. She was close enough that her boob was smashed against my elbow.
I was too drunk to give a fuck to not be an asshole and didn't move my arm.
I liked boobs. I nodded to my thought with a drunken head bob.
Boobs were fucking fantastic.
Bella had the best tits.
"Excuse me," she said shyly and blushed as she tried to get the bartender's attention.
"So what are you doing with your life?" I slurred in her general direction.
I think at the moment my intoxicated brain thought I was being a gentleman, like Carlisle, and treating her like a person rather than a waitress at a strip club.
In hind sight it probably sounded prickish.
She smiled just the same and shook her head. "I'm just a simple girl with a job. Do I need to do something special with my life?"
I blinked a few times to bring her face back into focus.
Fucking alcohol and stupid relatives.
"Thank you for being normal," I told her truthfully… I might have sprayed it rather than said it…she didn't seem to mind.
"Name's Edward," I slurred towards the brunette blob that she was quickly becoming in my altered vision.
I think she smiled again and filled her tray with the mixed drinks on the bar.
"Suzy," she said, softly exchanging a nervous glance between my adopted dad and me.
"My, they make them good-looking in your family," she threw at us as she backed away into the crowded club.
Carlisle laughed.
I felt like I was gonna barf.
"Having too much fun, Son?"
I shook my head. I hated bars. Hated the loud obnoxious music that was pumped into these places.
Mostly I was just missing Bella.
And I was most definitely gonna barf.
"Can we go?" I shouted at the two idiots who dragged me here.
Kate and MJ could handle their own. Kate was standing on the stage singing Lady Gaga with the Cher impersonator. I waved at her to say goodnight and stumbled towards the door.
Once I was in the backseat, I closed my eyes and relished the fact that I couldn't think about a damn thing for more than a minute. Every now and then the fear that had pushed me to get drunk crept back but either the world would spin or my stomach would clench and I forgot completely about whatever it was that I was worried about.
Hope Bella was having a fun night.
-**-Bookends-**-
BPOV
Alice had to be kidding me.
Jell-o shots and a movie marathon at home was my bachelorette party?
Really?
"Bella, you hate bars. You don't like going to the movies because rude people talk through the whole show and you would die of embarrassment if I took you to a strip club."
I shrugged. She had a point…but still.
"No even a stripper who could come to the house?" I asked. It just seemed…lacking in excitement, to say the least.
Alice grimaced. "Trust me, Bella, you do not want to know who is the local stripper in Forks."
Well, that wasn't true. Now that she mentioned it, I really wanted to know.
"You remember Tyler?" she threw out there.
I shuddered. I remembered Tyler-went to school from Kindergarten to Senior year with him.
I dropped the stripper idea immediately.
I tried to think of places where we could go. Mom told me once about cliff diving at La Push. I thought it sounded like that stupidest recreation in the world…but…
"Well…what's going on at the Res'? I haven't been to First Beach in a long time. Maybe we could just hang out there?"
No need to jump off cliffs but the beach was nice and quiet.
"Bella…it's December. You really wanna go swimming?" Alice shivered at the idea.
"No. We don't have to go into the water…let's just hang out. I never got to be a normal teenager, Al….neither of us did. Let's be kids for just one night. Get drunk on the beach and reconnect with nature or something."
I really didn't have too many friends outside of my family and Alice. The "party" was just going to be the two of us.
Mom was banned from joining in.
It just wasn't the same for me if she tagged along. She took me out to brunch last weekend to celebrate and that was nice, but I couldn't just relax with mom around on a night like this.
Edward was lucky that he was a guy…and that Carlisle was so laid back. I had no doubt that Mom would be seeking to lock me up by the end of the night. Besides, she was on baby sitting duty with Marcus tonight.
"Okay," Alice conceded. "It is your party."
I grinned and headed out to the Volvo with her. We walked past Rose's truck on the way.
Alice frowned at the vehicle as we shut our doors and I started the car.
"Dad said I could have the truck. I don't really want it, but…"
"You can't let it go either?" I finished.
She nodded.
"Yeah, Mom gave me the deed to the house. I can't imagine anyone else living in it."
Alice cleared her throat and looked at the window as I hit the main road. It was only a fifteen minute drive down to First Beach.
"I…uh…was actually hoping to talk to you about that," she said.
I watched the dark road ahead of us and said nothing, waiting for her to continue. Alice and Jazz had gone back and forth over living in Forks versus Seattle ever since they were married.
I was actually surprised that she decided to move to Seattle after they adopted Marcus. I knew she would make a decision for them to live together full-time so that Jazz didn't have to commute but I never thought she would chose the city over Forks.
"Jazz closed his practice in Seattle," she confirmed.
I figured that was going to happen soon. He had evaded questions about how business was going the entire time I spoke to him this evening.
"I know we said we'd try to make living there work. And you know how much I hated the idea of big city living with a six year old….but these past few months we've really missed Forks. We've come to an agreement that we're going to move back."
I smiled.
"There's no one I would want living in that house more than you guys, Alice," I offered without prompting.
"Bella, you really should stop turning down real estate so easily."
I laughed. "Please, the only place I need is wherever Edward is. We've got our house, that's all we need. That tomb in Victoria would be just that if I lived there- a house of death just like it was when my father lived there. The Swan house…well, that's Marcus' home anyway, right?"
Alice nodded.
I parked near the beach.
"Thanks," Alice said quietly as we headed down to the sand.
The beach was relatively empty at this time of night.
The water was peaceful.
I took a deep breath of the sea air. I'd spent one of the darkest nights of my life here.
"Oh, for the love of…" Alice was complaining.
"What?"
"I left the Vodka at the house," she pointed out.
"Why do I get the feeling that we're just not meant to have a party tonight, Alice?" I joked.
Her face fell.
Off in the distance there was some yelling….or was that howling?
Alice walked past me, in the direction of Second beach.
"What's that?" I asked, joining her. There was a big bonfire hidden off by the curve made by the winding cliffs.
"You don' think it's some tribal thing, right?" Alice asked. "I don't want to be disrespectful and interrupt something."
I watched the scene as we slowly drew closer to the crowd.
There were teenagers and what looked to be college students hanging out around the fire. Some I recognized and some I'd never seen before.
"Looks like a party of some sort."
This was just typical. My bachelorette party was going to consist of crashing a frat party.
"Hola, bitches!" a female voice shouted to us as we entered the crowd.
"Uh…hi," Alice responded.
I just laughed. We were so screwed. We were the kind of girls who sat home at night, watching movies instead of going to things like this.
People were passing round red plastic cups. For a brief second I had a flashback to the night I nearly died here. I wouldn't be drinking anything tonight…at least not in combination with dropping hard-core hallucinogens.
"Oh, my fuck," the greeter said as she came to stand in front of us.
"You have got to be his sister. You look just like him!" she told me.
I shared a confused look with Alice.
"Did you know Emmett?" I asked.
She laughed, nodding her head with a big grin on her face. "Sure as shit did. Who the hell do you think his supplier was?"
Alice laughed. "Wait….so you're Trench?"
I looked between Alice and the friendly woman…who apparently was my late brother's weed supplier.
"Sure am," she confirmed. She frowned a little. "I was so sorry to hear about him and…what the hell was Jake going by…Rose?" We nodded. "Yeah, I was sorry to hear about them passing."
"Thanks," Alice and I said in unison.
"So can we score some shit for tonight?" Alice asked out the blue.
I gaped at her.
Score some shit?
Alice and I had smoked maybe a total of three times in our entire lives. The first time we did it we were mostly just staring off into space for the entire high.
"Fuck, you're practically family," Trench said. She reached into her pocket, with the hand that wasn't holding her bong, and pulled out a joint, handing it to me.
"And you have a sweet fucking ass, babe," she whispered in my ear low enough that Alice couldn't hear her. I squeaked as she slapped my ass discreetly before she turned back to the crowd by the fire.
"Come on, Bella," Alice said, dragging me back towards First beach. The crowd was spreading out, some couples dropping in the sand, bumping and grinding for all the world to see.
I missed Edward.
It'd be fun to get high and make out with him now.
We settled for a collection of fallen trees near the edge of the beach to sit and light up.
Alice went first. She took a hit and immediately started coughing.
I thought about our siblings. Em and Jake could smoke like pros when they were in high school. And I was surprised to find that Mom and Dr. Cullen never found out.
Those two were good at hiding addictions, though.
I took a hit and tried to hold it in without coughing like an asthmatic like Alice.
No such luck.
We went back and forth like that for a while. Smoking and hacking until we were both feeling pretty stoned.
We talked about life. Laughed about fun times that we'd had growing up.
Swapped stories about the insatiable sexual appetites of the Cullen brothers.
I admitted that I was a little nervous about getting married. Not that I wasn't sure about marrying Edward, but that I was afraid of not being a good wife.
Whatever the hell that was.
Alice told me about the first couple of nights that Marcus was with them. Her terror of realizing this kid was now her responsibility.
"I still can't believe I have a kid. A kid! Me!" Alice was shouting.
I nodded.
"Edward and I like to fuck on the kitchen counter," I told her.
"Can't do that with a kid," she said.
I nodded again.
Everything felt hazy.
There were never enough nights like this. I watched the water and thought about Em. He'd probably be proud of me right now.
Sitting on the beach, stoned off my ass and just loving life.
I felt like taking off my clothes and running into the ocean.
I giggled.
"Wanna go swimming?" I asked.
Alice's eyes were glazed and it took her a minute to fully understand what I had just said.
"Okay."
We laughed and stumbled a few times tossing off our shirts as we ran towards the water.
I left my pants on because my shoes were too complicated to take off at the moment. I just wanted to be in the water.
"I'm a fish!" Alice yelled, running straight into the ocean with no fear.
I laughed and joined her. We both ran far enough out to dive under the water.
"It's freezing!" I screamed as I popped back above the surface.
Alice's teeth were chattering.
"No shit."
We swam back to the sand, giggling and out of breath as we clung to each other for warmth.
"Fire!" I remembered and pointed towards the party at Second beach.
We ran towards the blaze.
I felt like a kid. I had no worries but the immediate. I couldn't be bothered to care what anyone thought about what I was doing or how I looked.
And everything was making me giggle.
"Did you smoke the whole thing?" a familiar voice asked as I came to stand in front of the flames. Alice was wondering around the other side-giving fashion advice to the couples in her path.
I turned to find Trench standing next to me.
I was soaking wet from head to toe. My hair dripping down my back. The mixture of my clothes being wet and the cold night air causing my hole body to break out in goosebumps.
I had no idea where my shirt was but I was very aware that I was only wearing my bra.
Trench looked at me with lust-filled eyes.
I'd never been watched by a woman like that before. A few hours ago I would have blushed, or shied away from the attention.
But the pot was making me bold.
I would have preferred to kiss Edward but her lips were looking mighty inviting.
I took a step closer to her, she followed suit and moved closer to me.
Suddenly, our lips were touching and I moaned. I was already feeling good from the weed, and my senses were heightened from the cold.
I felt my hard nipples rub against her chest as she deepened the kiss and slid her tongue into mouth. We stood like that for a long moment.
Everything was hazy, hot and wet.
My heart was pounding in my chest.
I pulled back to catch my breath, feeling my crotch join the rest of my body in dampness.
"Fuck," she whispered.
I smiled. I must be a good kisser. That was always the reaction I got.
"Bella!" Alice was yelling. She broke the lesbian ecstasy bubble.
"Thanks," I said sheepishly to Trench and went to find my friend.
"These people refuse to burn their shirts when they get home tonight," Alice told me indignantly.
I giggled and pulled her along the beach with me.
"I think it's time to go home," I told her.
We sang along at the top of our lungs to every song on the radio in the car, laughing with tears in our eyes.
"That was some good shit," Alice said as I pulled up the long drive way to my house.
"Made me horny as fuck, though," I admitted.
Alice snorted. "Little Miss prude Isabella saying she's horny." She laughed.
I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at her.
I'll admit for a second I was even considering making out with Alice…since we were all alone…. I giggled and shook my head. I knew everything I was thinking tonight was the weed talking, but I never really got the chance to be a horny teenager. It felt like an appropriate night to get that phase out of the way.
Tomorrow I would become the responsible wife, but for tonight I enjoyed exploring myself. Something I never felt I had the right to do before.
Edward's Vanquish was parked at the end of the drive when we pulled up.
Never mind. I can suck face with my man instead.
"Hey Jazz," I yelled as his wife and I fell out of the car.
He laughed. "Fun night, girls?"
Alice ran to her husband and proved that I wasn't the only one feeling frisky from the pot.
Jazz sniffed his wife's hair. "I'm not going to ask why you're both soaking wet and missing your shirts. Just glad you're okay."
I waved and headed to the door.
I could hear Alice planning out their evening.
"Bella gave me the key to the other house…let's do it in the kitchen…"
"Shh, keep it down, baby, Dad's in the backseat," Jazz warned.
"We'll pick up the truck tomorrow, Bella!" he yelled.
I laughed and waved again.
I stumbled in through the front door.
It'd been far too long since I was fucked up like this. I missed it. Everything felt calm and relaxed at that moment. I couldn't care to think about anything.
For the first time in nearly a month my nerves weren't on edge.
I didn't think I'd be making a habit of using again but I wouldn't be opposed to spending a night or two like this in the future.
I giggled for no real reason other than how damn good it felt to not be able to think right now.
The light was on in the kitchen.
Edward.
I dropped my purse on the floor near the door and headed to the kitchen.
How did he know I'd be hungry when I got home? I thought.
When I reached the room filled with light I couldn't help but giggle again. Edward was sitting on the floor with his back to the fridge. He just kept blinking, like he was trying to get the room to come into focus but he couldn't.
He blinked up at me at the sound of my giggles.
"Hey…" He squinted. "Are you wet?"
I bit my lip, remembering the kiss on the beach and the hormone high that was waiting for me on the floor right now.
"Always for you, lover," I promised.
"You smell like pot…are you fucking high?" he slurred.
He narrowed his eyes and that seemed to do the trick to bring me into focus for his clearly intoxicated eyes.
I nodded my head vigorously.
"Are you drunk?" I asked, walking over to him.
He snorted, nodding his head with a wobbly bob and raised his hands to lay them on my hips as I came to stand in front of him.
"Fucking mine," he murmured and leaned forward, planting a hard kiss on the crotch of my wet jeans.
I giggled again. I briefly considered asking how his night was but I opted for asking him what I really wanted an answer to instead.
"Can we have sex now?" I asked, running my fingers through his always messy hair.
He leaned his head back to look up at me. His eyes were glazed, his lips slightly pouted, and it seemed like it took a lot of effort for him to remember how to speak.
"Yes," he finally replied, with another drunken head bob nod.
He removed his hands from my hips and started unzipping his pants.
That made me smile. Edward was so damn cute in his inebriation.
It was never like this for us before. We used to get fucked up to escape shit before. I got wasted for an excuse to feel sorry for myself. Edward got drunk to fight off the fear of his shortcomings.
We both knew better than to be those stupid kids anymore.
Tonight we were just blitzed, horny creatures.
It was really fucking nice.
It was how our younger years should have been.
He reached into his pants and I whined.
"Not here…how 'bout in our room?"
I was tired of getting pounded into hard, flat surfaces. I wanted to do it on our bed. It was big…and soft…and we could pass out on it afterwards and not get kinks in our necks.
He blinked up at me again. I must have fallen out of focus.
"Kay," he slurred.
He started to try to stand and I realized why he was sitting on the floor. Coordination was not Edward's thing when he was this under the influence.
I tried to catch him and help stabilize him while he got his legs under him. We bounced from the counter to the doorway like we were bumper cars. A few times he got away from me but luckily found a wall to hold himself up until I could wrap my arms around him again.
We were a laughing, staggering mess of arms and groans as we made our way to the staircase.
"Why the fuck is our room on the second floor?" he grumbled as we started up the stairs.
"You were the decorator, babe," I pointed out, trying to fight the desire to stay in my nice little bubble of intoxication long enough to get us up the stairs and not falling and breaking our necks.
Edward leaned heavily on me as we rounded the corner at the top of the stairs.
We got to the door of the upstairs bathroom and he pressed me back against the hard wood to kiss me.
I had to admit, Edward and I were kind of sloppy kissers when we were out of it like this. But sloppy kisses from Edward were still the best damn kisses in the world.
I hummed as he moved his mouth from mine to start sucking on my earlobe.
"I like kissing you," I said, feeling the fuzziness of the weed taking hold again.
He just grunted and rocked his hips against me which made me giggle.
"You know, I kissed a girl tonight…it was kind of weird…but kind of hot, too," I admitted. "Sorry, I sort of…kind of cheated on you. Didn't mean anything, though…" I rambled.
I couldn't deny that the memory of that kiss mixed with the sensation of kissing him now was arousing.
"S'kay," he mumbled. "I kept thinking about guys sucking my cock all night."
I felt myself grow even wetter when he said that—it was like code blue flood warning wetness.
"I should not have found that statement as sexy as I just did," I whispered.
He grunted again and this time I made sure to rub myself against him as he thrust his near-tented jeans towards me.
"Believe me, baby, the thought of you kissing another girl is pretty goddamn sexy, too."
I moaned as his hands found my chest- he pinched my already erect nipples between his fingers. I started writhing, trapped between the door and him.
"Fuck, I wanna fuck you so hard right now," he whispered, licking my jaw.
I whimpered.
Best damn bachelorette party ever.
"Um…Bella…" he slurred between kisses after a few more minutes of us playing over-the-clothes-sexing.
"Yes, Edward," I whispered seductively.
"I'm gonna barf."
-**-Bookends-**-
EPOV (The next morning, December 30th, 2017)
I think my head was pounding in my sleep. Maybe someone had been beating me over the head with a hammer the whole time I slept.
Either way, I nearly puked the second Alice's voice screeched in my ears.
I could feel hard, cold porcelain under me. Bella was laying on top of me. The smell of her hair was the only thing keeping my nausea at bay.
I felt Bella's head pop up as Alice kept screaming.
Seriously, couldn't see keep her fucking voice down!
I groaned.
It'd been a hell of a long time since I was this hung over.
Alice kept whining. I didn't catch all of it, something about breaking traditions. I wasn't supposed to see Bella this morning before we said our vows.
I squeezed my eyes further closed at the idea of having to open them. Light would cause me to vomit.
Fuck, just the effort it took to see something right now would make me vomit.
"Bella! Get out of that tub right now! Edward…don't look at her!"
I groaned and turned my head away from the annoying voice.
I felt Bella sigh and felt something soft press against my cheek. Surprisingly enough that didn't make me feel like I was going to barf. That actually felt good.
"See ya soon, Mr. Cullen," she whispered.
Against my better judgment, I smiled.
Lucky for me I kept the smirk on my lips long enough for the girls to leave the room. Then the throbbing pulse in my head finally took over and I crawled out of the tub in just enough time to puke my guts out in the toilet.
"Nervous about the big day, Bro?" Jazz teased from the doorway.
"Fuck off," I grumbled.
"No can do, brother. I made a promise to get you to the church on time."
"Jazz," I said around a hiccup of bile. "I'll forgive you if you just put me out of my misery and let me sleep this off."
He chuckled, leaning over me and flushing the toilet. He put his arms under mine and helped lift me to my feet.
"Dude, I don't give a fuck what you want. My wife gave me one job today and it's my balls if I don't get it done."
I peeled one eye open and shot it at him.
"Whipped motherfucker," I mumbled.
He laughed, none too gently dropping me off at the bed in my bedroom.
"Congratulations, Edward, today you become one, too."
I flopped back on to the bed with a sigh. I was still burping puke.
How fucking romantic, Edward.
"Why the hell did you drink so much anyway?" Jazz asked from the direction of closet.
I shook my head.
Mistake. Don't move….breathe softly through the nose.
"Uh… Dunno…started thinking bout Mom and Dad."
I thought back to where my brain was heading when I was in the backseat of the Vanquish as Carlisle drove us to the strip club in Port Angeles.
"I'm assuming you don't mean Esme and Carlisle," my brother clarified.
I snorted.
"Hey, their lives weren't any better in the long run…but…no. I was thinking bout Tanya and Ed. They were happy once," I remarked through worried lips.
I opened both of my eyes and stared at the ceiling. What difference did this afternoon make? Bella and I had been happy. We'd spent the last year back in each other's lives. We'd shared hardship, love and peace together.
Why difference did today make, really?
"When I married Alice," Jazz explained. "I kept telling myself that it was just a piece of paper. I was just planning for our future by making sure legally she was joined with me. That it just made sense in the event that I died or something."
"I hadn't prepared myself for the…pure elation of introducing her as my wife."
I sat up slowly and looked at him. His face was all goofy happy.
"You ever afraid you're gonna hurt her?" I asked. I pinched my nose between my thumb and forefinger.
Could someone ask the tiny man playing the drums to get the fuck out of my skull?
"I'm never afraid I'm going to beat her," he offered.
Violence was a touchy subject with both of us.
Jazz admitted to me that he went through a lot of therapy himself to deal with physical shows of aggression. It shocked me to find out that my overly sensitive brother had such rage inside of him.
I was known for being the angry one.
But I was also known for being passive-aggressive.
I'd never been able to really be physical with my anger. Sure, I took shit out on myself but… I just couldn't do it.
"But," Jazz continued. "Everyone hurts everyone at some point, Edward. That's just life. I'm never worried about hurting her, because I know that I'll be there to help her through the pain, too."
I nodded.
Damn. Time to lay back down.
I flopped back down with a moan.
"Yeah…I guess you're right. I just…Dunno…I'm always afraid I'm running just one step ahead of becoming Ed. Seems like no matter how many times I convince myself that I won't be him…I just end up seeing him in the mirror."
"Have you ever hit Bella?"
I flinched at the very idea of anyone hitting her.
"Fuck, no."
"Have you ever thought about it? When you were at your most frustrated and angry over the shit going on around you two, did you ever once imagine hurting her?"
I took a moment and thought back to those years when we were living in New York… Florida…Seattle.
Never.
Not once in all of those years did I ever imagine hurting my girl. I hurt myself….which in turn hurt her. I drank myself into a stupor. Ignored her pain. But I didn't want to punish her.
"No."
His face was above me suddenly.
"What you and your soon-to-be wife need to get over is this shit about being your dads. You're Edward and Bella. Fuck Ed and Charlie. Those bastards are dead. End of story."
He was gone from my view and back in the closet, pulling together my clothes.
I smiled.
"You're smart, Bro. Who taught you all those smarts thoughts?"
He threw my shirt over my face and laughed.
"My smart-ass older brother," he teased.
-**-Bookends-**-
JPOV
Edward groaned from the bathroom as he showered and tried to wake up.
Luckily for all of us, he and Bella had decided to have a small, not very formal ceremony.
Naturally, that decision was much to the dismay of my wife. I was very proud of Al for how she was handling the whole event. She was biting her tongue and just supporting Edward and Bella, which was a big step for her.
I think motherhood was really changing her.
I chuckled as I remembered the look on her face when they told us their plans at Christmas eve.
A New Year's Eve morning wedding in Forks and a reception in Italy on New Year's Day.
It was just random enough to be completely Edward and Bella. However, when Carlisle reminded them how long it took to get to Italy, they adjusted to have the ceremony on the day before New Year's Eve and would just have the reception whenever we arrived in Italy.
That was even more Edward and Bella.
In their typical fashion, when the first plan didn't work out, they said fuck it and went with plan B… or plan C or D in some cases.
To top it off, Bella said they had decided on not making it a big to-do. They would be wearing jeans and t-shirts and wanted one of us to be ordained over the Internet to do the service.
To no one's real surprise, we found out that Dad was actually already an ordained officiant via the web.
"It always seemed like a useful certificate to have. Never know when people will need to be married in a hurry," he pointed out.
We had a hour before we needed to be at the house.
There was a knock on the door downstairs. I jogged down the stairs to answer it.
Alice said she was sending over "options"…for what she was calling just-in-case-wear.
I opened the door.
"Good morning, Jazz," Nicole, Alice's new assistant, said.
"Good morning. Please, come in," I told her and motioned towards the living room.
Al was loath to sell the studio when we moved to Seattle, but she was a little more accepting of it when she met Nicole.
Nicole was fresh from design school, and from what Alice told me, an amazing seamstress. Though my wife had all but given up designing and creating clothes I could tell she enjoyed working with her.
"Just helped Alice drop off the bride collection. These are the jacket options for the groom," she explained.
"Just jackets right? He'll throw a bitch fit if there are any suits shoved at him today," I warned. Seriously. My brother hated very few things enough to really tell people about them.
Suits were in his top five most evil creations on earth.
He felt the same way about bras, too.
"Do you need to measure him for any of it or anything?" I asked.
"Shouldn't need to. Alice is a stealthy bee. She measured him at Christmas and did these from memory."
"What the fuck is that?" Edward shouted from the stairs.
"Oh my," Nicole said with wide eyes in the direction of the idiot.
I turned to find a nearly naked Edward standing on the steps, clutching his towel around his waist, hair still dripping and a scowl on his face.
"I'll show you in a minute. Go get dressed…moron," I told him.
He just turned and stalked up the stairs, grumbling under his breath.
"Well…I can die a happy girl," Nicole muttered to herself.
I tried not to laugh out loud. I would be laughing at my dumb brother who made the ladies swoon without trying, but she might find it rude just the same for me to laugh.
"Thank you again," I told her, walking her to the door.
"I wish you all the best, tell Alice I'll see her next Thursday."
I nodded. "Will do. Have a safe trip."
I took the three jacket options upstairs and found my brother, still naked in his bedroom rummaging through drawers.
"I pulled out boxers and socks for you over there," I told him.
"I can get my own damn underwear, Jazz!" He glared at me over his shoulder.
"What the fuck are options anyway?" he asked as I sat down.
"Dude, I'm not talking to you till you put the jewels away."
He chuckled. "Consider it payback for taking me to a drag club."
"You would never have walked into a regular strip club, Edward, admit it. You would have sat in the car all night because your moral high ground would tell you seeing other woman naked is wrong."
He nodded. "True."
He finished pulling on his socks and boxers, then found his blue jeans and a t-shirt.
"Simon and Garfunkel?" I asked confused.
"Yeah, Bella and I saw them in concert a few months ago. Why?"
I cocked a brow. "I didn't even know you knew they sang music."
"I don't only listen to Bon Jovi, Bro. I happen to like all forms of music. And since today is my wedding day, you can suck it."
"The options are jackets for today. Alice created three different ones. You don't have to use any of them but I think you'll find at least one to your liking."
He walked over to the bed to take a look and I stood behind him. Humming Mrs. Robinson.
"Oh…you're a regular comedian there, fucker," he grumbled. I laughed.
"I like this one," he said, holding up the one I figured he'd choose. It was a black leather jacket. He slipped it on.
"Perfect," I told him.
-**-Bookends-**-
I was best man. Dad was presiding over the ceremony and my wife was the Matron of honor. To say the wedding was a family affair would be drastically understating it.
There were no chairs. No ribbons and streamers in coordinated colors. No expensive bouquets of flowers placed strategically around the tree house.
There wasn't a cake with elaborate tiers of decoration. And there were maybe fifteen people assembled between our houses when we got there.
All in all, no one would have been able to really know that a wedding was about to take place. And yet, you could just feel it in the air.
I walked past the guests, greeting them as I passed. Renee and her two kids. Mike and his mom. Some of the guys from Push—Seth and Sam.
For the briefest second I half expected to see Tanya somewhere in the crowd. I don't know why. I hardly ever thought of the woman I used to call mother.
I guessed, as I kept telling my brother he must do, I had a hard time letting go of things, too.
No matter how much love and acceptance we found as Cullens, we would never be able to fully lay to rest our Masen heritage. We did let go of the place that still haunted us both in Seattle. Edward and I had agreed to demolish the house a year ago. The city wanted to renovate that neighborhood and put up apartments for college students. We didn't even go there to see it one last time.
We just let it go.
Now it was time for my heart to do that with Tanya.
"I'll be right back," I told Edward as he was talking to Esme. He nodded and I headed into the Swan house.
Alice was running up and down the stairs and barking orders at Kate and MJ.
"Made the mistake of asking her if she needed help, didn't you?" I joked as Kate came down stairs shaking her head.
"Your wife is small…but fuck me, she's scary," she told me.
I laughed.
I held my hands out and caught my wife on her next pass downstairs.
"Small affair, babe," I reminded her jokingly.
She blinked up at me and shook her head like I was crazy. "Jazz, I love you, it's nice to see you but if you aren't interested in helping me then get out."
"Gotta get back out in a minute, dear, sorry." I wasn't really. I loved my wife but I didn't want to get stuck on hairspray detail or something.
She kissed my lips quickly and ran back upstairs. I just shook my head and went to join my family outside.
Carlisle was leaning against the old tree when I walked up.
"You know, when Mary and I got married she wanted me to pull this old tree out. She thought it was an eyesore. I built the tree house hoping it would help her enjoy it more."
I smiled.
"Did she ever go up there?" I asked.
"Nah. 'Bout the only people who ever did were you kids," he said, looking between Edward and me.
Edward cleared his throat, looking up at the sanctuary like it was the most precious place in the world.
"Lots of happy memories in that place," he whispered.
"Okay," Alice announced from the back door two minutes later.
"There's no music.…just clear a path and get a good spot."
MJ and Kate walked over to stand next to Esme. Alice exited the house smiling, and I swore I could hear her humming the wedding march under her breath.
Bella and Edward had asked Marcus to walk his aunt down the aisle. In so many ways, even Alice and I thought of Marcus as Emmett and Rose's son. It only seemed right that he be the one to walk with her.
Em would have been the one to do it were he here.
My wife was grinning impossibly wide when she took her place across from us at the tree.
I braced myself for Bella's entrance that could only mean one thing—that Bella had accepted her optional clothing.
Everyone in attendance gasped in unison as my soon-to-be sister-in-law emerged from her childhood home.
Alice had made only one optional outfit for Bella—a pale green wedding dress. I couldn't see my brother's face since he was standing in front of me but I could hear him swallow.
She looked gorgeous.
It was hard to believe she was the same girl I was driving to Victoria all those years ago. The pure joy in her eyes was enough to light the sun.
She reached out her hand and held Esme's hand as she came to stand before us. In that age-old ritual, Esme passed her daughter's hand to Edward's in a symbol of trust that he would now provide for the one she loved.
My brother's hand was not trembling with the fear he displayed this morning. I knew he'd be fine once we were here. Once he was with Bella. Those two could weather any storm so long as those hands stayed joined.
"You…look so beautiful," Edward told her.
"Back at you, handsome," Bella responded.
"Friends, and loved ones, welcome," Carlisle started. "We're all gathered here today to witness the union of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, and Isabella Marie Swan. This has been…a long time coming," he remarked.
Everyone quietly agreed with laughter.
Bella winked up at Edward.
"The couple has decided to write their own vows." He motioned for Edward to begin.
"I…uh… actually stole lyrics for my vows," Edward admitted sheepishly.
The tips of his ears were pink as he pulled the note card from his jacket pocket.
Bella's smile was radiant. Edward could have read her the A section from the phone book and she'd be happy.
It made my heart squeeze to see them both so happy. I watched Bella's face from over Edward's shoulder as he looked deep into her eyes and recited the lyrics.
"When the hour is upon us
And our beauty surely gone
No, you will not be forgotten
No, you will not be alone."
Bella's eyes misted as he continued.
"And when the day has all but ended
And our echo starts to fade
No, you will not be alone then
And you will not be afraid
No, you will not be afraid
When the fog has finally lifted
From my cold and tired brow
No, I will not leave you crying
And I will not let you down
No, I will not let you down"
He raised his hand, hooking his finger under her chin to hold her gaze to promise,
"I will not let you down."
Tears started to fall silently from the corner of Bella's eyes.
"Now comes the night
Feel it fading away
And the soul underneath
Is it all that remains
So just slide over here
Leave your fear in the fray
Let us hold to each other
Till the end of our days"
I teared up to hear the emotion in my brother's voice as he finished his vow to her. There were many days in our past when I never thought this day would come. That Edward and Bella would grow old alone.
That hope was lost.
As with many moments in my life when paths changed course and I questioned how wrong the altered route could be, I was elated to find that I had been wrong again.
Bella sniffed and suddenly my wife's hand was in her face with a tissue. The crowd, bride and groom included, softly laughed.
"You and me forever, babe. I fucking love you," Edward whispered.
"Thank you, Edward," Carlisle said, rolling his eyes at my brother's eternal need to cuss.
He turned his attention to Bella.
"Bella?" he asked quietly.
She bit her lip. Her eyes were wider than usual. She looked like she was trembling slightly.
"I wanted to write something," she started softly.
"I sat for hours and thought about us—all that we've survived together…but nothing ever inspired me."
She shrugged her shoulders and bit her lip again, casting her eyes on their joined hands.
"Then I thought about using a song, or a poem…a quote from literature. But… nothing I came across seemed to fit."
She took a deep breath.
She lifted her head and stared straight into his eyes.
"I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes… I plan on never being perfect and to keep fucking up royally for years to come."
Everyone laughed.
"But I'm all yours. Forever," she vowed.
I could hear my brother melt when she said that.
"Since there is no one here with objections to this union...," Carlisle announced. I smirked to see that even Mike Newton was smiling for the happy couple.
"By the power invested in me, by the great State of Washington, I now pronounce you…" His eyebrows rose as he drew out the final words.
Carlisle smirked.
"Fucking married," he declared.
"Edward, please kiss her already."
They kissed while we all cheered.
Finally.
-**-Bookends-**-
A/N:
"Now Comes the Night" (lyrics by Rob Thomas)